Later that same evening, Remus found himself making his way up the main
stairwell of the castle to the hospital wing. Just as he was turning down
the corridor he stopped, as he had nearly tread over Mrs. Norris. He looked
down at Argus Filch's cat and was it just him, or was she looking at him
strangely? The cat mewed and gave him a clearly mistrustful look and
sauntered away.
Shaking his head, Remus sighed and walked past the spot and down the corridor for a few more paces before he opened the door and stepped into the hospital wing. As he shut the door, he couldn't help but spare a glance around. Everything looked precisely as it had in his youth. Nothing seemed to have changed.
Moving forward he inspected the bed linens and the curtains that hung by the beds. Running his hand along the material he smiled slightly. Egyptian eyelet. He remembered her mentioning she had wanted to get some for the wing. It seemed she finally had.
His ears pricked, hearing a few sounds coming to his left. Remus turned and noticed the door to Poppy's office was slightly ajar and he could hear her muttering to herself. Just barely curious, he moved forward silently towards the door. He had lifted his hand to knock and alert her to his presence when he heard the subject to her muttering.
"Ruddy poltergeist! Switching the medicines around and stealing my inventory list. Oh, he'll pay!" She groused to herself, organizing the medicine cabinet.
Remus smiled a small smile at this. "Language, Poppy." He said, pulling open the door. She dropped her wand and spun to face him, her clear grey eyes surprised. Those eyes...
"I hadn't heard you come in." She smiled a sheepish smile, picking up her wand, a few of her tresses falling away from her barrette to frame her face. "I didn't get a chance to really speak with you earlier, so naturally I couldn't ask how your journey was. I trust it was all right?" She said, gesturing for him to come inside and have a seat.
Remus moved to the small sofa just beyond her neat cherry wood desk. She however moved to the small window seat below the lovely stained glass window. He took a moment to admire her there, with shafts of moonlight filtering in through the window to play upon her hair and her features. It seemed to him that she had taken on her true aspect, that he was seeing her for the first time.
He remembered a moment just like this, many years ago. It had been just over three years since he'd left Hogwarts and he'd happened upon her in Linton, the village where he'd live and worked in his parents apothecary. He'd been keeping in touch with her and with Albus of course. Granted she hadn't known he worked there and that it was owned by his parents, but when she walked through the door wearing her hair down and dressed simply in a summer dress, it was as if time had stopped and the lines had faded. He'd remembered how simple and wholesome she had looked. She had not been the school mediwitch then. She'd been a woman. Just that.
During the years at Hogwarts under her care he'd never exactly noticed her in such a way. It wasn't that she hadn't been beautiful, because she certainly had been and still was. She'd been in her twenties during his days there and even though he was younger and under her care, he always felt he could talk to her on an altogether different level. Years later he'd come to realize it was a meeting of the minds. Especially remembering his seventh year...
He had loved her, but being the quiet and reclusive type of person he'd been and still was, he hadn't been able to clearly identify in just what way he'd loved her. In any case he only truly realized it after the years apart and the steady stream if communication they'd shared. It was surprising there hadn't been a parchment shortage with how often they wrote to each other. All through this their friendship had deepened and blossomed as he hadn't ever expected it could. It had been truly amazing. Now as he looked at her there, he was assaulted with memories upon memories and was suddenly aware of just how much he had missed her.
He took a breath and reigned in his thoughts. "The journey was fine, though I'm sure we could have done without the visit from the dementor." Remus told her, answering her question. He was highly amused to see her nod with quite the angry look on her face.
"I agree, but of course the Minister is adamant and will not be swayed." She groused softly, remembering her most recent talk with Albus on the subject. "He's just trying to do right by the situation, I'm sure." Remus said quietly, trying not to think of how lovely she looked, even in her anger.
She sighed, nodding her head slightly. "I just worry for the students. Not all the chocolate in the world can ease the pain of what those horrors dredge up, after all." Poppy told him, feeling cold just thinking about it. Remus thought about what would go through her mind if a dementor ever got close. She'd lost her brother Stewart to Voldemort and she certainly didn't need to have it all replayed in her mind when she was so close to being able to put it to rest in her heart.
Remus looked at her then as he rose and moved towards her. Laying his hand on hers, he looked deep into her eyes. "You're right, Poppy. I can only hope that this is sorted out soon, but somehow I don't know or expect that it will be." He said quietly, picturing Sirius in his mind. Padfoot...
Poppy stared back at him, her eyes glistening slightly. "Remus it's still so hard to believe it..." She murmured, her voice trailing off as she looked down at her hands.
Remus agreed more than anything. Even now he couldn't believe it. Why had Sirius done it? Sirius had been his and James' best friend, and Peter too. Why? What could have possessed him to do it? They'd been friends... why had he done it?
Looking down, Remus realized that she'd turned her hand over and had twined her fingers with his. His heart beat quickened. Slowly, he lifted his eyes to hers. Those grey eyes looked back into his, full of sorrow for what had happened.
As he looked back into her eyes, his hand clasped within hers, he wondered if her eyes could hold something else for him. Something else entirely
"If only..."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A little while later Remus entered his rooms, leaning heavily against the door. The feel of her hand was still there in his hand, as was her scent. Soft and if he could name the scent it would be wisteria and rose. It was intoxicating.
He shook his head and moved away from the door to prepare for bed. However, as he lay back on the bed, he thought... of her. Of how she had looked in the moonlight. Of her eyes, her beautiful clear grey eyes. Of her hand in his.
In that one moment, time had stopped for him. He wasn't a former charge. A former student. He wasn't a colleague, a fellow professor. He wasn't a wolf either. He'd been just a man. He'd been Remus J. Lupin. Simply that.
In all his life he could never ever remember having a moment like that. Where he had been himself. Plain and simple, with no distinction. In that moment, something had stirred within him. Hope. A hope that... maybe... just maybe things would work out, somehow.
Closing his eyes, he gave himself over to a dreamless sleep.
"If only..."
Shaking his head, Remus sighed and walked past the spot and down the corridor for a few more paces before he opened the door and stepped into the hospital wing. As he shut the door, he couldn't help but spare a glance around. Everything looked precisely as it had in his youth. Nothing seemed to have changed.
Moving forward he inspected the bed linens and the curtains that hung by the beds. Running his hand along the material he smiled slightly. Egyptian eyelet. He remembered her mentioning she had wanted to get some for the wing. It seemed she finally had.
His ears pricked, hearing a few sounds coming to his left. Remus turned and noticed the door to Poppy's office was slightly ajar and he could hear her muttering to herself. Just barely curious, he moved forward silently towards the door. He had lifted his hand to knock and alert her to his presence when he heard the subject to her muttering.
"Ruddy poltergeist! Switching the medicines around and stealing my inventory list. Oh, he'll pay!" She groused to herself, organizing the medicine cabinet.
Remus smiled a small smile at this. "Language, Poppy." He said, pulling open the door. She dropped her wand and spun to face him, her clear grey eyes surprised. Those eyes...
"I hadn't heard you come in." She smiled a sheepish smile, picking up her wand, a few of her tresses falling away from her barrette to frame her face. "I didn't get a chance to really speak with you earlier, so naturally I couldn't ask how your journey was. I trust it was all right?" She said, gesturing for him to come inside and have a seat.
Remus moved to the small sofa just beyond her neat cherry wood desk. She however moved to the small window seat below the lovely stained glass window. He took a moment to admire her there, with shafts of moonlight filtering in through the window to play upon her hair and her features. It seemed to him that she had taken on her true aspect, that he was seeing her for the first time.
He remembered a moment just like this, many years ago. It had been just over three years since he'd left Hogwarts and he'd happened upon her in Linton, the village where he'd live and worked in his parents apothecary. He'd been keeping in touch with her and with Albus of course. Granted she hadn't known he worked there and that it was owned by his parents, but when she walked through the door wearing her hair down and dressed simply in a summer dress, it was as if time had stopped and the lines had faded. He'd remembered how simple and wholesome she had looked. She had not been the school mediwitch then. She'd been a woman. Just that.
During the years at Hogwarts under her care he'd never exactly noticed her in such a way. It wasn't that she hadn't been beautiful, because she certainly had been and still was. She'd been in her twenties during his days there and even though he was younger and under her care, he always felt he could talk to her on an altogether different level. Years later he'd come to realize it was a meeting of the minds. Especially remembering his seventh year...
He had loved her, but being the quiet and reclusive type of person he'd been and still was, he hadn't been able to clearly identify in just what way he'd loved her. In any case he only truly realized it after the years apart and the steady stream if communication they'd shared. It was surprising there hadn't been a parchment shortage with how often they wrote to each other. All through this their friendship had deepened and blossomed as he hadn't ever expected it could. It had been truly amazing. Now as he looked at her there, he was assaulted with memories upon memories and was suddenly aware of just how much he had missed her.
He took a breath and reigned in his thoughts. "The journey was fine, though I'm sure we could have done without the visit from the dementor." Remus told her, answering her question. He was highly amused to see her nod with quite the angry look on her face.
"I agree, but of course the Minister is adamant and will not be swayed." She groused softly, remembering her most recent talk with Albus on the subject. "He's just trying to do right by the situation, I'm sure." Remus said quietly, trying not to think of how lovely she looked, even in her anger.
She sighed, nodding her head slightly. "I just worry for the students. Not all the chocolate in the world can ease the pain of what those horrors dredge up, after all." Poppy told him, feeling cold just thinking about it. Remus thought about what would go through her mind if a dementor ever got close. She'd lost her brother Stewart to Voldemort and she certainly didn't need to have it all replayed in her mind when she was so close to being able to put it to rest in her heart.
Remus looked at her then as he rose and moved towards her. Laying his hand on hers, he looked deep into her eyes. "You're right, Poppy. I can only hope that this is sorted out soon, but somehow I don't know or expect that it will be." He said quietly, picturing Sirius in his mind. Padfoot...
Poppy stared back at him, her eyes glistening slightly. "Remus it's still so hard to believe it..." She murmured, her voice trailing off as she looked down at her hands.
Remus agreed more than anything. Even now he couldn't believe it. Why had Sirius done it? Sirius had been his and James' best friend, and Peter too. Why? What could have possessed him to do it? They'd been friends... why had he done it?
Looking down, Remus realized that she'd turned her hand over and had twined her fingers with his. His heart beat quickened. Slowly, he lifted his eyes to hers. Those grey eyes looked back into his, full of sorrow for what had happened.
As he looked back into her eyes, his hand clasped within hers, he wondered if her eyes could hold something else for him. Something else entirely
"If only..."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A little while later Remus entered his rooms, leaning heavily against the door. The feel of her hand was still there in his hand, as was her scent. Soft and if he could name the scent it would be wisteria and rose. It was intoxicating.
He shook his head and moved away from the door to prepare for bed. However, as he lay back on the bed, he thought... of her. Of how she had looked in the moonlight. Of her eyes, her beautiful clear grey eyes. Of her hand in his.
In that one moment, time had stopped for him. He wasn't a former charge. A former student. He wasn't a colleague, a fellow professor. He wasn't a wolf either. He'd been just a man. He'd been Remus J. Lupin. Simply that.
In all his life he could never ever remember having a moment like that. Where he had been himself. Plain and simple, with no distinction. In that moment, something had stirred within him. Hope. A hope that... maybe... just maybe things would work out, somehow.
Closing his eyes, he gave himself over to a dreamless sleep.
"If only..."