Witch Hunt!
Episode VII: Impatience and Nagging
(A/N) Hello all, finally! I got enough votes! Took you all long enough. And...I don't want to name any names, but some of you (even after reading my letter in the last chapter [not naming names] still didn't vote!) I had to go through and guess who you'd pick. For instance, one reviewer by the name of [name changed for the safety of the reviewer Black Dios] ... Dlack Bios did not vote in their review so I assumed that they would have voted for Dios. Get it? Also, because I didn't get that many votes and some of you mentioned two bishonen, I added a tally for each. Anyway, I just want to say thanks to all my "fans" and I hope you enjoy the episode...thank you.
--Riding the elevator up to the top where the courtroom where death-tolls dwelled...
Touga: Can we just stay in here?
Juri: Why?
Touga: That psycho's gonna kill us, Juri!
Juri: No she won't. Just don't make her mad.
Touga: Oh, yeah, thanks. Comin' from the girl she's got a crush on!
Juri: No she doesn't!
Touga: I heard her!
Juri: WHAT?! What did you hear?!
Touga: At the barbeque! (mimicking) Yes, that's right I'm her girlfriend, so back off Shiori!
Juri: She was just helping me out! To get Shiori away from me! She doesn't like me!
Touga: Sure sure. Whatever. I beg to differ.
Miki: (sleeping in the corner...yes all you Miki fangirls! He's sleeping all cute and bundled up in the corner...happy!)
Touga: What the...?
Juri: Don't know; don't care.
Miki: (snore) Mummy? (sniff) I want to marry her...
Touga: Huh?
Juri: Shut up and listen.
Miki: Shh-hh-ining th-hing! (reaches out)
Juri & Touga: (leaning in to listen)
Miki: Shining thing!!! Where are you?! I must have you! I will win! You! You are mine! I shall have you with me forever...play! Play your sweet music nightingale!
Juri: Ooookkay?
Miki: (grab)
Juri: AAHHH!!!
Miki: (holding Juri by accident) Oh shining thing! How I worship you!
Juri: Don't just stand there! Help me Touga!
Touga: Just play along for a little bit. Maybe I'll get to find out...who is Miki's shining thing?!! BUM BUM BUM!!!
Juri: Grrr...fine. But don't we already know that it's Anthy? I've seen the show up through the Black Rose Saga.
Touga: That's it?! I can't wait till you find out what happens to you in the Apocalypse Saga on Tempation.
Juri: Huh?
Touga: Don't worry about it! (snickers) Anyway, listen to Miki.
Miki: SHINING THING!!! Come to me in heart and spirit as I hold your fragile body in my arms!
Juri: This is getting fucking weird Touga! Wake him up!
Touga: No!
Juri: What do you mean, no? WAKE HIM UP!
Touga: NO! I have to find out!
Juri: Look through the script!
Touga: (thumping through the script to the episode) Hmmm...OOPS! We skipped a part!
Juri: Huh? We did?
Touga: Yeah.
Juri: What'd we skip?
Touga: Let's see...I was supposed to ask you how you felt about Midori.
Juri: Oh, that would probably be an important part to the so-called "plot" of this story.
Touga: There was a plot?
(Evilmini: Cue laughter!)
Juri: Do we have to go back?
Touga: What do you think?
Juri: Fine.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Touga: Can we just stay in here?
Juri: Why?
Touga: That psycho's gonna kill us, Juri!
Juri: No she won't. Just don't make her mad.
Touga: Oh, yeah, thanks. Comin' from the girl she's got a crush on!
Juri: No she doesn't!
Touga: I heard her!
Juri: WHAT?! What did you hear?!
Touga: At the barbeque! (mimicking) Yes, that's right I'm her girlfriend, so back off Shiori!
Juri: She was just helping me out! To get Shiori away from me! She doesn't like me!
Touga: (reading script) Why so defensive? What, do you have a crush on her?
Juri: (looking over to Touga's script) What no I...what does that say? Oh, I don't like Midori. Why do you think I have this locket Juri grabs locket under her jacket...huh? Oh!
Touga: Honestly, Juri.
Juri: Sorry, I didn't see the italics!
Touga: Just read your lines!
Juri: Fine. Ahem...
Touga: What?
Juri: It's your line idiot!
Touga: Oh...(reads) You won't after...wait that doesn't make any sense.
Juri: Here, I'll back up a line. (reads) I don't like Midori. Why do you think I keep this locket?
Touga: Have, not keep.
Juri: SAME THING!!! Grrr. Fine...ahem...I don't like Midori! Why do think I HAVE this locket?
Touga: You won't after episode thirty! HAHAHAA!!! Hey, that's a funny joke! Thanks.
Juri: (rolls eyes) Sure. (reads) Then I'll just get a new locket. Maybe even with a new picture...
Touga: Cue Miki sleeping.
Miki: (snore)
Touga: What the...?
Juri: Don't know; don't care.
Miki: (snore) Mummy? (sniff) I want to marry her...
Touga: Huh?
Juri: Shut up and listen.
Miki: Shh-hh-ining th-hing! (reaches out)
Juri & Touga: (leaning in to listen)
Miki: Shining thing!!! Where are you?! I must have you! I will win! You! You are mine! I shall have you with me forever...play! Play your sweet music nightingale!
Juri: Ooookkay?
Miki: (grab)
Juri: AAHHH!!!
Miki: (holding Juri by accident) Oh shining thing! How I worship you!
Juri: Don't just stand there! Help me Touga!
Touga: Just play along for a little bit. Maybe I'll get to find out...who is Miki's shining thing?!! BUM BUM BUM!!!
Juri: Grrr...fine. But don't we already know that it's Anthy? I've seen the show up through the Black Rose Saga.
Touga: That's it?! I can't wait till you find out what happens to you in the Apocalypse Saga on Tempation.
Juri: Huh?
Touga: Don't worry about it! (snickers) Anyway, listen to Miki.
Miki: SHINING THING!!! Come to me in heart and spirit as I hold your fragile body in my arms!
Juri: This is getting fucking weird Touga! Wake him up!
Touga: No!
Juri: What do you mean, no? WAKE HIM UP!
Touga: NO! I have to find out!
Juri: Now what?
Touga: Listen.
Miki: SHINEY! SHINEY! SHINING THING!
Touga: Oh, the suspense is killing me! Is it gonna be anime or manga? Nobody knows!
Miki: (sniffs) Sh...(wakes up) AAHHHHHHHH! Juri! What are you doing! AAAHHHH!!!
Juri: Shit! Touga! I told you!
Touga: Sorry! Sorry!
Miki: AAAHHHH! Say the thing! Touga! Get me outta here!!!
Touga: OPEN SESAME!!!
Juri: Seriously.
Touga: It was worth a try. I don't wanna say the whole thing!
--Magically, the doors fly open!
Miki: (running out blindly) Thank you! Thank you! (opening eyes)
--Akio and all the "dead" characters are standing in position. They are all dressed up as a J-Rock band: Akio at lead vocals, Saionji at lead guitar, Mamiya at the tambourine, Mikage at the base guitar, Kozue and Kanae are back up singers, and Nanami is at the drums.
Touga: What the hell?
Akio: Nan machigat-te i-masu ka?
Touga: Nothings wrong with me? What's wrong with you?
Akio: Ie.
Juri: Okay this is just weird.
Akio: Ichi.
Saionji: Ni.
Akio: Ichi, ni!
Saionji: San, yon!
All: GO!!!
Touga: Rrrrright!
Juri: Nice intro though.
Akio: (singing) Ikani!
Juri: Ego-ga kudasai!
Akio: Ie! (singing) Watachi-wa bichi-ni it-te, Kiki-o mi-masen. Kanojo-ga i- masu, "Euuhuhei!" Watashi-wa i-masu, "Ikani!"
Juri: What the hell?
Touga: It's a loosely translated version of...
Akio: Ikani! Kono shoujo-wa watashi-ni ki-te, "Chotto! Kono bishonen nan- desu ka?" E, ikani!"
Touga: United States of Whatever.
Juri: Oh, that song...
Akio: Ikani! Atode-wa puruharu-ni kara, kono shoujo-ga ki-masu. Kanojo-ga i- masu, "Awww." I-masu, "Hai, ikani!"
Miki: He's not making any sense!!!
Touga: The song sounds better in English.
Juri: This is just awkward.
Akio: Desu isu mai Yunaitede Tsutetsu ofu Watefu!
Touga: AHAHAAAA!!! Watefu!
Akio: Desu isu mai Yunaitede Tsutetsu ofu Watefu! Desu isu mai Yunaitede Tsutetsu ofu Watefu! Gozen san-ji machikado-ni watashi-wa kawa-o ki-masu. Koitsu ki-te, i-masu, "Chotto panku!" I-masu, "E, ikani!"
Miki: Is it almost over! Make it stop! Make it stop!
Akio: Watashi-wa saikoro-o roji-ni tounyuu-mashita. Riroi-san ki-te, I- masu, "I-de omoi-masu..." "E, ikani!"
Touga: Last verse...I think.
Akio: Zafa-san ki-masu. "Chotto!" "Chotto!" "I-idesu ne?" (pause) Desu isu mai Yunaitede Tsutetsu ofu Watefu! Desu isu mai Yunaitede Tsutetsu ofu Watefu! Desu isu mai Yunaitede Tsutetsu ofu Watefu!
(crickets)
Touga: Honestly, Akio! Have you lost your mind?
Akio: Ie, bakayaro!
Touga: Nani anata-wa I-masu ka?!
Akio: BAKAYARO!
Touga: CHIKUSOME!!!
Juri: STOP IT! Everybody in English now!
Touga: Fine.
Akio: Fine.
Miki: Finally!
Touga: What was all of that?
Akio: It's my new J-rock band: Jealousy's Phantom!
Touga: Nice title!
Akio: Arigato.
Juri: AKIO!
Akio: Sorry... "thank you."
Touga: So, how'd you get them to play?
Akio: I'm Akio! I have the power! I can make anybody live as phantoms.
Touga: Oh, yeah, forgot about that. So why'd you bring them back anyway?
Akio: You want the truth or the (quote fingers) "truth."
Touga: Um...the truth.
Akio: Damn! I can't tell you my super-duper secret planny thingy!
Touga: Why not?
Akio: Because...then it won't work.
Touga: More End of the World stuff?
Akio: Yeah.
Touga: Oh.
Akio: Well...I can let you in on a little secret...
Touga: I'm listening.
Akio: The first part of my plan is to promote my band with the aide of the power to REVOLUTIONIZE THE WORLD!!! MUAHAHAHAAA!
Touga: Yeah...right...how?
Akio: Seduce Utena...again.
Touga: And you think that's going to work?
Akio: Sure, why not?
--Meanwhile Juri is walking around poking the frozen phantoms and Miki punching the Kozue phantom screaming.
Miki: I'll show you!!! Rubber ducky my-
Juri: Poke poke poke! Hahaha! This is way too fun. (looks around cautiously) POKE! AHAHAAAA!
--Back in the elevator...of DEATH! (God I love saying that! Being the narrator kicks ass!) Anthy, Utena, and Midori stand enigmatically as silhouettes in the dark elevator as cryptic organ music plays in the background.
Anthy: If it cannot fly from its cage, the nightingale shall die without truly living free. I am that nightingale, the roses are my cage. If we do not destroy the rose's garden, I shall die without truly living free. Destroy the cult of the roses! FOR THE REVOLUTION OF THE WORLD!
Utena: Ooo, that was a good one Anthy. Very symbolic.
Midori: I agree. Now it's my turn. Ahem... If it cannot stray from its shadow, the other shall whither without truly being cared for. I am the other; my brother is the shadow. If I we do not stop my brother, I shall die without truly being cared for. End my brother's life. FOR THE REVOLUTION OF THE WORLD!!!
Utena: Um, yeah, that's a little scary.
Anthy: (clapping blindly) Great job, Midori-sempai!
Midori: Thank you. Your turn Tenjou.
Utena: Okay. Here goes nothing. If it cannot escape from conformity, the Prince shall die without truly reaching nobility. I am the Prince; society is conformity. If we do not find our true selves, then we shall all perish without truly reaching nobility. Escape from conformity. FOR THE REVOLUTION OF THE WORLD!!!
Midori: Deep.
Anthy: Yeah, for Prince Utena!!!
--The elevator doors open. Midori walks out, as Anthy and Utena follow. Akio prepares to perform again while Touga, Miki and Juri scatter to the side.
Akio: Ichi!
Saionji: Ni!
Akio: Ichi, ni!
Sanioji: San, shi!
All: GO!!!
--With a snap of Midori's hand, Anthy makes an upward motion with her arms and the phantoms disappear and Akio is returned to his usual crappy ensemble.
Akio: What the?
--Midori snaps her other fingers and Utena charges towards Akio tackling him and pinning him to the ground with the Sword of Dios at his throat.
Akio: Huh?
Midori: (with a wicked smile) I hear you have been plotting something mischievous behind my back.
Akio: Me? No no no.
Utena: (tightening her grip on the sword) Really...well, then you won't be afraid to appear in court then will you?
Akio: Shit!
Touga: Oh, dude, that sucks.
Juri: Major.
Miki: TOTALLY!
Touga & Juri: (stare)
Miki: What?!!!
Midori: Let the hearing commence!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
--Midori sits at the judges' stand (not dressed as a pilgrim judge, but a present day one) and Anthy (in police attire) stands in front of the stand with a Rose Seal Bible in hand. Utena sits at a small stenographers' desk. The remaining student council members sit in the jury and Akio sits angrily on the stand.
Midori: State your crime!
Akio: Plotting something behind your back...blah blah blah.
Midori: Oh don't talk back to me, I'm Judge Midori!
Anthy: Tell it like it is sister!
Akio: Hey, she's not your sister! You're my sister!
Anthy: Boy, you straight trippin'!
Touga: (raises his hand) Um, can you read that back?
Utena: Hmmm...Akio: Hey, she's not your sister! You're my sister! Anthy: Boy, you straight tripping?
Touga: Ahahaha! Haha...whiteness.
Midori: Order! Judge Midori needs order!
Anthy: Tell it on the mountain!
Midori: Do have anything to say before we burn you at the stake?
Akio: WHAT?!!! Burn me? AT THE STAKE??!!!!
Utena: Yes.....would you like it repeated?
Akio: FUCK NO!
Midori: Order! You don't cuss in front of Judge Midori!
Anthy: Uh huh, sister child!
Touga: (raises hand) Haaahaa...hm hm hmm...(holding in laughter)
Juri: Put your hand down.
Touga: Hmm hm hm hmmm...Hahaaaa!
Akio: Do you have any evidence?
Midori: Of course! First off, you told Touga.
Akio: Damn!
Midori: Okay, burn him!
Akio: NO! Um...all my friends and family will miss me!
(crickets)
Akio: My fangirls? At the very least, they'll miss me!
Midori: Evidence number two.
Anthy: Numero uno!
Midori: Yes, well, for this we have a witness/ special guest.
Miki: NO! Don't bring her BACK!!!
Juri: Holy crap! Not again.
Touga: Who is it?
Midori: None other than the author, of course.
Akio: Damn.
--I walk out looking sooo damn sexy (as always) with my long black flowing coat and dark long hair. (BLUE EYES!!!)
Evilmini: Hello everyone. The evidence I have brought with me today are the results to the survey.
All: (gasp)
Evilmini: Behold! The results to the Favorite Bishonen Contest! Now mind you the tally is loose...
Midori: We know, just release the evidence.
Evilmini: Okay, okay. Well, Dios, Mikage, and Touga tied at two votes each.
Touga: Tied?!! Damn.
Evilmini: I came in second with four votes! WHOOT!!!
Touga: (grumble) Grrr.
Evilmini: And sadly. The winner of this stupid thing is none other than that little freaky twerp who is very insane, has a crush on this one chick because she reminds him of his pure sister (before she became a whore), stopwatch wielding, closety piano dwelling, Touga fanaticizing, shiny thing obsessed, "I'll fight to save your music" even though it happens to not be in danger at all, twin complex, crazy but allegedly cute...Miki Kaoru.
Miki: Huh? Me? You all really love me?
Evilmini: Most fangirls watch something and see all of the cuteness on the surface and don't dissect the symbolism to see the kind of freak you really are.
Touga: You fanaticize about me?
Miki: Huh? NO!
Evilmini: Whatever. Watch the Sunlit Garden Episodes!
Miki: (looking around for an escape) AAAHHHH!!! Leave me alone!
Evilmini: Say a speech to your little fans out there.
Miki: Um, okay. (click of the stopwatch) Thank you all for voting for me. I...I get kind of nervous during things like this. Um, well all I can think to say is thank you to all my fans. I love you all! And if any of you have short hair that flips out a little then call me at-
Evilmini: Okay that's enough!
Midori: Okay, burn him.
Akio: Didn't anyone vote for me?
Evilmini: Yes.
Akio: Who?
Evilmini: Demongirl666.
Akio: Oh her? Meeee-ouch! I've got some shoujo's to catch!
Evilmini: Crap!
Touga: Let him go. He's in a better place now.
Evilmini: Whatever. I don't care.
Midori: Well, I guess that's over with. He's much too stupid to plot against me. Court is adjourned.
Touga: Finally! Come on, let's fire up the elevator.
*~*~*~*TO BE CONTINUED*~*~*~*
Will Akio ever find Demongirl666? Who will Midori bring to court next? How black can Anthy get? Why didn't the author win the contest? That freaking sucks! No matter, the author is even sexier than before, so hahaha! Isn't Anthy REALLY supposed to be Indian? Oh, well, she looks too black. What more can the author say? Oh well...happy TURKEY DAY!!! All of these answers and less in the next installment of Witch Hunt!
*Hey, guys! Give me some suggestions cause my brain is drainin' and the mini muffins aren't working like they used to. So thanks and please review and suggest. And if you can't think of anything now, eMail me later at evilmini86@yahoo.com! Arigato!
Episode VII: Impatience and Nagging
(A/N) Hello all, finally! I got enough votes! Took you all long enough. And...I don't want to name any names, but some of you (even after reading my letter in the last chapter [not naming names] still didn't vote!) I had to go through and guess who you'd pick. For instance, one reviewer by the name of [name changed for the safety of the reviewer Black Dios] ... Dlack Bios did not vote in their review so I assumed that they would have voted for Dios. Get it? Also, because I didn't get that many votes and some of you mentioned two bishonen, I added a tally for each. Anyway, I just want to say thanks to all my "fans" and I hope you enjoy the episode...thank you.
--Riding the elevator up to the top where the courtroom where death-tolls dwelled...
Touga: Can we just stay in here?
Juri: Why?
Touga: That psycho's gonna kill us, Juri!
Juri: No she won't. Just don't make her mad.
Touga: Oh, yeah, thanks. Comin' from the girl she's got a crush on!
Juri: No she doesn't!
Touga: I heard her!
Juri: WHAT?! What did you hear?!
Touga: At the barbeque! (mimicking) Yes, that's right I'm her girlfriend, so back off Shiori!
Juri: She was just helping me out! To get Shiori away from me! She doesn't like me!
Touga: Sure sure. Whatever. I beg to differ.
Miki: (sleeping in the corner...yes all you Miki fangirls! He's sleeping all cute and bundled up in the corner...happy!)
Touga: What the...?
Juri: Don't know; don't care.
Miki: (snore) Mummy? (sniff) I want to marry her...
Touga: Huh?
Juri: Shut up and listen.
Miki: Shh-hh-ining th-hing! (reaches out)
Juri & Touga: (leaning in to listen)
Miki: Shining thing!!! Where are you?! I must have you! I will win! You! You are mine! I shall have you with me forever...play! Play your sweet music nightingale!
Juri: Ooookkay?
Miki: (grab)
Juri: AAHHH!!!
Miki: (holding Juri by accident) Oh shining thing! How I worship you!
Juri: Don't just stand there! Help me Touga!
Touga: Just play along for a little bit. Maybe I'll get to find out...who is Miki's shining thing?!! BUM BUM BUM!!!
Juri: Grrr...fine. But don't we already know that it's Anthy? I've seen the show up through the Black Rose Saga.
Touga: That's it?! I can't wait till you find out what happens to you in the Apocalypse Saga on Tempation.
Juri: Huh?
Touga: Don't worry about it! (snickers) Anyway, listen to Miki.
Miki: SHINING THING!!! Come to me in heart and spirit as I hold your fragile body in my arms!
Juri: This is getting fucking weird Touga! Wake him up!
Touga: No!
Juri: What do you mean, no? WAKE HIM UP!
Touga: NO! I have to find out!
Juri: Look through the script!
Touga: (thumping through the script to the episode) Hmmm...OOPS! We skipped a part!
Juri: Huh? We did?
Touga: Yeah.
Juri: What'd we skip?
Touga: Let's see...I was supposed to ask you how you felt about Midori.
Juri: Oh, that would probably be an important part to the so-called "plot" of this story.
Touga: There was a plot?
(Evilmini: Cue laughter!)
Juri: Do we have to go back?
Touga: What do you think?
Juri: Fine.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Touga: Can we just stay in here?
Juri: Why?
Touga: That psycho's gonna kill us, Juri!
Juri: No she won't. Just don't make her mad.
Touga: Oh, yeah, thanks. Comin' from the girl she's got a crush on!
Juri: No she doesn't!
Touga: I heard her!
Juri: WHAT?! What did you hear?!
Touga: At the barbeque! (mimicking) Yes, that's right I'm her girlfriend, so back off Shiori!
Juri: She was just helping me out! To get Shiori away from me! She doesn't like me!
Touga: (reading script) Why so defensive? What, do you have a crush on her?
Juri: (looking over to Touga's script) What no I...what does that say? Oh, I don't like Midori. Why do you think I have this locket Juri grabs locket under her jacket...huh? Oh!
Touga: Honestly, Juri.
Juri: Sorry, I didn't see the italics!
Touga: Just read your lines!
Juri: Fine. Ahem...
Touga: What?
Juri: It's your line idiot!
Touga: Oh...(reads) You won't after...wait that doesn't make any sense.
Juri: Here, I'll back up a line. (reads) I don't like Midori. Why do you think I keep this locket?
Touga: Have, not keep.
Juri: SAME THING!!! Grrr. Fine...ahem...I don't like Midori! Why do think I HAVE this locket?
Touga: You won't after episode thirty! HAHAHAA!!! Hey, that's a funny joke! Thanks.
Juri: (rolls eyes) Sure. (reads) Then I'll just get a new locket. Maybe even with a new picture...
Touga: Cue Miki sleeping.
Miki: (snore)
Touga: What the...?
Juri: Don't know; don't care.
Miki: (snore) Mummy? (sniff) I want to marry her...
Touga: Huh?
Juri: Shut up and listen.
Miki: Shh-hh-ining th-hing! (reaches out)
Juri & Touga: (leaning in to listen)
Miki: Shining thing!!! Where are you?! I must have you! I will win! You! You are mine! I shall have you with me forever...play! Play your sweet music nightingale!
Juri: Ooookkay?
Miki: (grab)
Juri: AAHHH!!!
Miki: (holding Juri by accident) Oh shining thing! How I worship you!
Juri: Don't just stand there! Help me Touga!
Touga: Just play along for a little bit. Maybe I'll get to find out...who is Miki's shining thing?!! BUM BUM BUM!!!
Juri: Grrr...fine. But don't we already know that it's Anthy? I've seen the show up through the Black Rose Saga.
Touga: That's it?! I can't wait till you find out what happens to you in the Apocalypse Saga on Tempation.
Juri: Huh?
Touga: Don't worry about it! (snickers) Anyway, listen to Miki.
Miki: SHINING THING!!! Come to me in heart and spirit as I hold your fragile body in my arms!
Juri: This is getting fucking weird Touga! Wake him up!
Touga: No!
Juri: What do you mean, no? WAKE HIM UP!
Touga: NO! I have to find out!
Juri: Now what?
Touga: Listen.
Miki: SHINEY! SHINEY! SHINING THING!
Touga: Oh, the suspense is killing me! Is it gonna be anime or manga? Nobody knows!
Miki: (sniffs) Sh...(wakes up) AAHHHHHHHH! Juri! What are you doing! AAAHHHH!!!
Juri: Shit! Touga! I told you!
Touga: Sorry! Sorry!
Miki: AAAHHHH! Say the thing! Touga! Get me outta here!!!
Touga: OPEN SESAME!!!
Juri: Seriously.
Touga: It was worth a try. I don't wanna say the whole thing!
--Magically, the doors fly open!
Miki: (running out blindly) Thank you! Thank you! (opening eyes)
--Akio and all the "dead" characters are standing in position. They are all dressed up as a J-Rock band: Akio at lead vocals, Saionji at lead guitar, Mamiya at the tambourine, Mikage at the base guitar, Kozue and Kanae are back up singers, and Nanami is at the drums.
Touga: What the hell?
Akio: Nan machigat-te i-masu ka?
Touga: Nothings wrong with me? What's wrong with you?
Akio: Ie.
Juri: Okay this is just weird.
Akio: Ichi.
Saionji: Ni.
Akio: Ichi, ni!
Saionji: San, yon!
All: GO!!!
Touga: Rrrrright!
Juri: Nice intro though.
Akio: (singing) Ikani!
Juri: Ego-ga kudasai!
Akio: Ie! (singing) Watachi-wa bichi-ni it-te, Kiki-o mi-masen. Kanojo-ga i- masu, "Euuhuhei!" Watashi-wa i-masu, "Ikani!"
Juri: What the hell?
Touga: It's a loosely translated version of...
Akio: Ikani! Kono shoujo-wa watashi-ni ki-te, "Chotto! Kono bishonen nan- desu ka?" E, ikani!"
Touga: United States of Whatever.
Juri: Oh, that song...
Akio: Ikani! Atode-wa puruharu-ni kara, kono shoujo-ga ki-masu. Kanojo-ga i- masu, "Awww." I-masu, "Hai, ikani!"
Miki: He's not making any sense!!!
Touga: The song sounds better in English.
Juri: This is just awkward.
Akio: Desu isu mai Yunaitede Tsutetsu ofu Watefu!
Touga: AHAHAAAA!!! Watefu!
Akio: Desu isu mai Yunaitede Tsutetsu ofu Watefu! Desu isu mai Yunaitede Tsutetsu ofu Watefu! Gozen san-ji machikado-ni watashi-wa kawa-o ki-masu. Koitsu ki-te, i-masu, "Chotto panku!" I-masu, "E, ikani!"
Miki: Is it almost over! Make it stop! Make it stop!
Akio: Watashi-wa saikoro-o roji-ni tounyuu-mashita. Riroi-san ki-te, I- masu, "I-de omoi-masu..." "E, ikani!"
Touga: Last verse...I think.
Akio: Zafa-san ki-masu. "Chotto!" "Chotto!" "I-idesu ne?" (pause) Desu isu mai Yunaitede Tsutetsu ofu Watefu! Desu isu mai Yunaitede Tsutetsu ofu Watefu! Desu isu mai Yunaitede Tsutetsu ofu Watefu!
(crickets)
Touga: Honestly, Akio! Have you lost your mind?
Akio: Ie, bakayaro!
Touga: Nani anata-wa I-masu ka?!
Akio: BAKAYARO!
Touga: CHIKUSOME!!!
Juri: STOP IT! Everybody in English now!
Touga: Fine.
Akio: Fine.
Miki: Finally!
Touga: What was all of that?
Akio: It's my new J-rock band: Jealousy's Phantom!
Touga: Nice title!
Akio: Arigato.
Juri: AKIO!
Akio: Sorry... "thank you."
Touga: So, how'd you get them to play?
Akio: I'm Akio! I have the power! I can make anybody live as phantoms.
Touga: Oh, yeah, forgot about that. So why'd you bring them back anyway?
Akio: You want the truth or the (quote fingers) "truth."
Touga: Um...the truth.
Akio: Damn! I can't tell you my super-duper secret planny thingy!
Touga: Why not?
Akio: Because...then it won't work.
Touga: More End of the World stuff?
Akio: Yeah.
Touga: Oh.
Akio: Well...I can let you in on a little secret...
Touga: I'm listening.
Akio: The first part of my plan is to promote my band with the aide of the power to REVOLUTIONIZE THE WORLD!!! MUAHAHAHAAA!
Touga: Yeah...right...how?
Akio: Seduce Utena...again.
Touga: And you think that's going to work?
Akio: Sure, why not?
--Meanwhile Juri is walking around poking the frozen phantoms and Miki punching the Kozue phantom screaming.
Miki: I'll show you!!! Rubber ducky my-
Juri: Poke poke poke! Hahaha! This is way too fun. (looks around cautiously) POKE! AHAHAAAA!
--Back in the elevator...of DEATH! (God I love saying that! Being the narrator kicks ass!) Anthy, Utena, and Midori stand enigmatically as silhouettes in the dark elevator as cryptic organ music plays in the background.
Anthy: If it cannot fly from its cage, the nightingale shall die without truly living free. I am that nightingale, the roses are my cage. If we do not destroy the rose's garden, I shall die without truly living free. Destroy the cult of the roses! FOR THE REVOLUTION OF THE WORLD!
Utena: Ooo, that was a good one Anthy. Very symbolic.
Midori: I agree. Now it's my turn. Ahem... If it cannot stray from its shadow, the other shall whither without truly being cared for. I am the other; my brother is the shadow. If I we do not stop my brother, I shall die without truly being cared for. End my brother's life. FOR THE REVOLUTION OF THE WORLD!!!
Utena: Um, yeah, that's a little scary.
Anthy: (clapping blindly) Great job, Midori-sempai!
Midori: Thank you. Your turn Tenjou.
Utena: Okay. Here goes nothing. If it cannot escape from conformity, the Prince shall die without truly reaching nobility. I am the Prince; society is conformity. If we do not find our true selves, then we shall all perish without truly reaching nobility. Escape from conformity. FOR THE REVOLUTION OF THE WORLD!!!
Midori: Deep.
Anthy: Yeah, for Prince Utena!!!
--The elevator doors open. Midori walks out, as Anthy and Utena follow. Akio prepares to perform again while Touga, Miki and Juri scatter to the side.
Akio: Ichi!
Saionji: Ni!
Akio: Ichi, ni!
Sanioji: San, shi!
All: GO!!!
--With a snap of Midori's hand, Anthy makes an upward motion with her arms and the phantoms disappear and Akio is returned to his usual crappy ensemble.
Akio: What the?
--Midori snaps her other fingers and Utena charges towards Akio tackling him and pinning him to the ground with the Sword of Dios at his throat.
Akio: Huh?
Midori: (with a wicked smile) I hear you have been plotting something mischievous behind my back.
Akio: Me? No no no.
Utena: (tightening her grip on the sword) Really...well, then you won't be afraid to appear in court then will you?
Akio: Shit!
Touga: Oh, dude, that sucks.
Juri: Major.
Miki: TOTALLY!
Touga & Juri: (stare)
Miki: What?!!!
Midori: Let the hearing commence!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
--Midori sits at the judges' stand (not dressed as a pilgrim judge, but a present day one) and Anthy (in police attire) stands in front of the stand with a Rose Seal Bible in hand. Utena sits at a small stenographers' desk. The remaining student council members sit in the jury and Akio sits angrily on the stand.
Midori: State your crime!
Akio: Plotting something behind your back...blah blah blah.
Midori: Oh don't talk back to me, I'm Judge Midori!
Anthy: Tell it like it is sister!
Akio: Hey, she's not your sister! You're my sister!
Anthy: Boy, you straight trippin'!
Touga: (raises his hand) Um, can you read that back?
Utena: Hmmm...Akio: Hey, she's not your sister! You're my sister! Anthy: Boy, you straight tripping?
Touga: Ahahaha! Haha...whiteness.
Midori: Order! Judge Midori needs order!
Anthy: Tell it on the mountain!
Midori: Do have anything to say before we burn you at the stake?
Akio: WHAT?!!! Burn me? AT THE STAKE??!!!!
Utena: Yes.....would you like it repeated?
Akio: FUCK NO!
Midori: Order! You don't cuss in front of Judge Midori!
Anthy: Uh huh, sister child!
Touga: (raises hand) Haaahaa...hm hm hmm...(holding in laughter)
Juri: Put your hand down.
Touga: Hmm hm hm hmmm...Hahaaaa!
Akio: Do you have any evidence?
Midori: Of course! First off, you told Touga.
Akio: Damn!
Midori: Okay, burn him!
Akio: NO! Um...all my friends and family will miss me!
(crickets)
Akio: My fangirls? At the very least, they'll miss me!
Midori: Evidence number two.
Anthy: Numero uno!
Midori: Yes, well, for this we have a witness/ special guest.
Miki: NO! Don't bring her BACK!!!
Juri: Holy crap! Not again.
Touga: Who is it?
Midori: None other than the author, of course.
Akio: Damn.
--I walk out looking sooo damn sexy (as always) with my long black flowing coat and dark long hair. (BLUE EYES!!!)
Evilmini: Hello everyone. The evidence I have brought with me today are the results to the survey.
All: (gasp)
Evilmini: Behold! The results to the Favorite Bishonen Contest! Now mind you the tally is loose...
Midori: We know, just release the evidence.
Evilmini: Okay, okay. Well, Dios, Mikage, and Touga tied at two votes each.
Touga: Tied?!! Damn.
Evilmini: I came in second with four votes! WHOOT!!!
Touga: (grumble) Grrr.
Evilmini: And sadly. The winner of this stupid thing is none other than that little freaky twerp who is very insane, has a crush on this one chick because she reminds him of his pure sister (before she became a whore), stopwatch wielding, closety piano dwelling, Touga fanaticizing, shiny thing obsessed, "I'll fight to save your music" even though it happens to not be in danger at all, twin complex, crazy but allegedly cute...Miki Kaoru.
Miki: Huh? Me? You all really love me?
Evilmini: Most fangirls watch something and see all of the cuteness on the surface and don't dissect the symbolism to see the kind of freak you really are.
Touga: You fanaticize about me?
Miki: Huh? NO!
Evilmini: Whatever. Watch the Sunlit Garden Episodes!
Miki: (looking around for an escape) AAAHHHH!!! Leave me alone!
Evilmini: Say a speech to your little fans out there.
Miki: Um, okay. (click of the stopwatch) Thank you all for voting for me. I...I get kind of nervous during things like this. Um, well all I can think to say is thank you to all my fans. I love you all! And if any of you have short hair that flips out a little then call me at-
Evilmini: Okay that's enough!
Midori: Okay, burn him.
Akio: Didn't anyone vote for me?
Evilmini: Yes.
Akio: Who?
Evilmini: Demongirl666.
Akio: Oh her? Meeee-ouch! I've got some shoujo's to catch!
Evilmini: Crap!
Touga: Let him go. He's in a better place now.
Evilmini: Whatever. I don't care.
Midori: Well, I guess that's over with. He's much too stupid to plot against me. Court is adjourned.
Touga: Finally! Come on, let's fire up the elevator.
*~*~*~*TO BE CONTINUED*~*~*~*
Will Akio ever find Demongirl666? Who will Midori bring to court next? How black can Anthy get? Why didn't the author win the contest? That freaking sucks! No matter, the author is even sexier than before, so hahaha! Isn't Anthy REALLY supposed to be Indian? Oh, well, she looks too black. What more can the author say? Oh well...happy TURKEY DAY!!! All of these answers and less in the next installment of Witch Hunt!
*Hey, guys! Give me some suggestions cause my brain is drainin' and the mini muffins aren't working like they used to. So thanks and please review and suggest. And if you can't think of anything now, eMail me later at evilmini86@yahoo.com! Arigato!