Pre-chapter Notes: Two updates this time. Two chapters. That's to make up for the lack of updates. The Stranger I Once Knew is nearly over. Only 2 more chapters after my two chapter updates and an epilogue and I'm finished. That's good, because this is dragging for a long time, and I hope to start on my other stories soon.
Chrysanthemum3: Good to see you here again, Jenn. You're
hardly ever on here anymore. But then again…I don't blame you. Just glad you
stopped by.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh, but you don't either, so ha.
Chapter 8: Home As It Never Was
"Tea?" None finally questioned.
There was a long pause of silence as None and Tea stared at one another. Tea
had a hard time recollecting her wits after the shock she just received. Slowly,
she got up, forgetting about her luggage that had fallen over.
"Rebecca.. Is it really you? I'm not seeing...things?" Tea reached
forward and clasped her hands over the tiny hands of None's. Even though
Rebecca's hands looked like a set of normal child's hand, there was something
about the skin over the set of hands that made it unreal…inhuman.
"You're not seeing things. I didn't die. Rebecca did. Ten years ago. You
were there." None spoke with the dull tone of hers. She withdrew her hands
from the grip of Tea's and turned to leave.
"Wait!" Tea cried out as None took a few steps away.
None stopped as she slowly turned to face the woman. "You had a future
Tea," None started. "Even from the beginning, in you early teenage
years, you didn't suffer the way Rebecca Hawkins had. You didn't have the
trials of trauma she suffered, and for that, you were able to have a successful
future without being burdened by the guilt of the past and deal with the loss
of your loved ones. You had your friends behind you, and look at you today.
But, I, None, do not have the same virtues. I didn't have anything that's
precious to me. Everything about Rebecca Hawkins's past is full of mayhem,
chaos and sadness. I am just the remains of what was left of the trial of
suffering. I know what you want Tea. You want to change me back. But I'm not
going to let you do that. I lived this life for ten years, and I don't intend
to change it."
None finished her speech and glanced at Tea. Her blank green eyes were narrowed
into a glare; daring Tea to contradict what she had said-, only if she didn't
value her arms and legs.
"I disagree." Tea's face was set firm as she carried out what she had
to say. "We all suffer from one point or another. You haven't been there
in my life all the time. I suffered as well. I suffered before I was able to
get this future, like you said. You were right. My friends were behind me all
this time. They help me, give me courage and faith. But, Rebecca, you can have
the same thing. If you haven't thrown away your human life ten years ago, maybe
you could have made it through the guilt and lost you had and live a future. I
don't believe that Rebecca completely died. Even in this body, I know there is
still some human in you."
"I can't." None stated stubbornly. "It's too late for that. If I
can feel, I will be jealous of the life you have now. But none of those
feelings will ever return, and I don't regret that. It was too much pain to
deal with, and ten years ago, it was because of the overwhelming weakness
humans have called feelings, did I chose to throw away that life and live this
one."
"You can. If there is a way to create this None, then there is a way to
bring back the Rebecca Hawkins we all knew. With your mind, you can. Don't you
miss having your friends by your side? Isn't it lonely to live ten years of
solitude?"
None turned away as she suddenly found new streetlamps rather interesting.
Closing her eyes, she tried to refocus onto the times when she could feel.
"When I created None, I never thought of a way to reverse this process. I
never had wanted to reach the decision again to become Rebecca Hawkins."
"Rebecca, I'm going to stay overnight at a hotel. I think you should come
with me. We can figure something else tomorrow once I get a hold of contact over
Yugi, Joey and the others. I want you to come with me."
"I will only go with you. But as for becoming Rebecca Hawkins again, you
will have to try a lot harder than this to convince me. Besides, it would be
interesting to see Yugi, Joey, Tristan and Serenity again. At least they had a
future." The last sentence was spat out with a poisonous tone.
I was right. There is still some human in Rebecca, or None. Tea thought as a
faint smile appeared on her lips. The smile was so faint that only she knew
that she had smiled.
As the night wore on, Tea managed to find a hotel that wasn't expensive, but
fairly decent. Asking for a single room with a double bed, she paid and went to
her room with None led by an employee at the hotel. The bedroom was a strange
sight for None. It's been years since she saw a bed, nor slept on a decent one.
The covers over the bed were simple sheets of white. There was a large glass
window where one can glance out in that large viewing glass and see the night
view below.
Entering the room, None ignored everything else and head for the large glass
window. As she drew closer, she noticed that there was a balcony leading
outside. Unlocking the glass door, she slid it open and walked out to the
balcony, again into the night air. Closing her eyes slightly, she recalled the
memory that was phased ever since the lost of her grandfather and her attempted
death. That death was a mystery until now.
As she leaned over, her hands rested on the metal rails, her shoulders sagged.
No one will care. I'll be with mom and dad. And grandpa. That was the
thought on Rebecca's mind when she realized that the traces of the day had gone
away and it was night, late in the night. I won't be a burden for Yugi and the
others. She thought with distaste.
Almost as if she was in some trance, her hands clasped upon the metal railings.
Then, she brought one foot up. Then another. She did so until she sat on the
rail, her hands clutching the metal bar tightly. Her knuckles turned white as
she gripped harder. Her legs dangled beneath her as she glanced down at the
height she was at.
Just a little push, and I'll be down there. Dead. Gone from the human world.
With grandpa. With mom and dad. With my family.
I'll never be lonely again. I have my entire family with death. That's enough. More than enough…. Rebecca convinced herself.
But what about your friends? A nagging little voice put in. What will they do if you die? What will happen? Won't they suffer from the lost of you?
They don't care! Rebecca snarled ferociously to the nagging voice. I was here all day, and yet, they didn't come and get me. They've forgotten me!
The voice fell silent.
She leaned over, staring at the long landing that she was going to make. She hope she'll make it. To death. That way, no one can stop her. Ever.
Just as she was about to make her move, the annoying little voice returned. Your friends didn't forget about you.
Something in Rebecca bristled with annoyance. Oh? She sneered dauntingly at the voice. Really?
Yes. They came and tried to be there for you when your grandfather died. This decision is selfish. You're making a selfish wish to end your own burden. Meanwhile, you did not think ahead. You didn't think what would your Grandfather think if you died when you had a whole life ahead of you. You're making his death seemed worthless! Wasted on some selfish brat!
Shut up! Rebecca screamed mentally to the voice. She panted heavily and broke into sweats as the voice spat those words in a sharp and direct tendency.
You can't bear to hear the truth, Rebecca Hawkins? The voice continued tauntingly. Tsk, tsk. Denial is not a good thing little Rebecca Hawkins.
Then what am I suppose to do!? I have no family. Grandpa was there for me all my life. He was everything I strived to live for! He was that something that was precious to me that I wanted to channel everything that I did that was worth it through him. It was him that I still lived this life. But after he died, he left me alone. He left me with the guilt and loss.
She broke into a new wave of tears. The droplets slowly dribbled down her face from the corner of her eyes.
I know that he wasn't supposed to live forever. But why!? Why so soon? Why not later when I grow up and could take care of myself!? I'm just a twelve year old. What am I suppose to know. Take away all the knowledge I have, and I'm nothing, but ordinary Rebecca. I'm willing to give up everything for grandpa to be with me again. That includes my life. This is why I'm doing this. I want to be with him. And the family that I had never seen since long ago.
I see, Rebecca. The voice snapped curtly. You'll regret the decision. I'll promise you that.
Then, it was silence all over.
Rebecca returned her attention to the street below. Stared at the cold, hard concrete. Closing her eyes, she told herself. It's too late to back out of this. I will be with you again grandpa. I will.
She slid forward. Then, her hands released the metal railings and she pushed herself forward. Almost too quickly, she found herself pummeling downwards. Faster, and faster. She could see the concrete closing in. Good. She closed her eyes.
As she hit the bottom, two things were on her mind. Pain and seeing her grandpa again. The last thing she remembered was red. Red everywhere before darkness covered it all.
And for that, she was thankful for the darkness.
Stop! None commanded as she reopened her eyes. She had never tried to recall this memory. She didn't wish to see everything of Rebecca Hawkins' foolish decisions. Yet, standing here in this tall balcony seemed to trigger her memories of her 'death' to resurface. She didn't know if it was a good thing or not. No opinion from her. That is unless she can feel again.
Turning away from the darkened city life, she glanced inside the hotel room. Tea, apparently, was asleep, with an arm thrown carelessly over her eyes. The blanket was drawn up to her shoulders. Shifting her gaze a bit, she could see the untouched covers of her own bed. None, however, had no desire to do what humans do. She's beyond what any human will be. So if she is so different, then she'll stay different.
She removed her gaze from the hotel room and back to what lies before her. The city was a giant empire of tall gray, metallic buildings. Even at night, the tiny sliver of moon managed to produce a gleam from every building. The night, is no longer young. The hours tick by quicker than None had expected.
So…far away from home…. None thought as she drummed her fingers on the metal railing of the balcony. This is…Japan…. My real home is in America. No…I don't have a home. I no longer have a home that welcomes me with opened arms.
As the night drone on, None stood in the balcony, haunted by the distant memories of her past.
End Notes: It's a short chapter. Hopefully, by updating two chapters, it's enough to make up for the shortness of the chapters. The last few chapters are relatively short roughly 2000-3000 words each.
The remaining chapters are….
Chapter 9: Reflections of The Unforgettable Past
Chapter 10: Rebuilding A Future
Chapter 11: Soulless Fleet
Epilogue
Hopefully, I'll finish before the end of this month, February. It's dragging and it's a pain in the ass. I actually wrote the whole storyline down a while back and wrote on paper first. But I stopped on chapter eight and started to type everything up. Yeah, another boring chapter. I have no talent…nor life.