Disclaimer: I own no one.
A/N: Slight profanity..... Slight......... Oh and it's in her words.........
Feel different..... Changed...... morphed into a being smaller- lowlier than I could have possibly felt in my entire 'less than great' existence.
My mind, crowded with questions- thoughts, understandings, floats unevenly above my shoulders.
Gazing at my hands, I see a ghastly, grotesque, kind- of off white; they have the words 'death' engraved into their very flesh.
It's cold and everything looks eerie. Glancing at the trees above me, they whisper such hateful things and resound in my ears. They pour sadness into my heart and shatter my walls of security.
Slowly, I push myself to stand. It's quite and shady and I want to leave this wretched place. I gradually limp to my car and slip into the passengers seat.
From the mirror above me, my eyes are telling lies. I blink away and think of home, jamming the key into its holder, the car starts for Stars Hollow.
The ride was quiet and oh so lonely. I carry myself as high as I can, which isn't very high, and push my way through the door.
Without even thinking I slip into bed.
Can't smile through the tears, so I just shut my eyes and pretend that nothing happened.
Everything's gonna be all right.........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 days later, absolutely no contact with the outside world.
I've lied to my mother and told her I was excruciatingly sick and could not in any case have company, whatsoever!
2 days later have I had to lie to myself, saying that it never happened, even though it did.
2 days later have I had to lie, but 2 days later I can no longer lie.
I walk into a drug store, away from home, and walk into an isle that I never that I'd entered, but now it's under the circumstances I have presumed to be necessary.
I grab a box and walk to the cashier. She looks at me indifferently and I may as well let that go, from here on out I am but the scum of the earth; because I let it happen, IT WAS MY FAULT.........
I drive back home, hopping to have gone unnoticed and slip into my bathroom. I shut and lock the door and begin the process of notification, so to speak.
In the certain amount of time that I had had to wait, I wondered that if I were bared with this, being, how could I carry on. Knowing that the father of the child was but a bum can most certainly weigh down my problems even more. The shadow...... IT.......
I walk uncertainly back to the bathroom, where the answer to my question awaits.
I throw it back into the sink and crumble to the floor.
No! It's wrong! It cannot be!
But it is.......... It is......
The truth bubbles its questionable face, to resurface the question of inevitability.
How sad, that my life has changed so greatly, because of one night.
One night that will haunt me for days to come, one night that will remain in my mind for forever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 week later and I still hold the truth inside of me.
I can no longer with hold such information. I can no longer watch as it eats me alive.
Still I pretend that I am sick.
My mom has come by, but would not enter my room, by the request of yours truly.
Everyday since the third day of my upheaval assortment of my 'breakdown' or my 'sickness', my mom has stopped by.
I have yet to tell her the secret that I hold so closely to myself, for fear of rejection...... from everyone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's dark now and I feel as though I can walk the streets of Stars Hollow, without the prying eyes of its inhabitants.
I walk in the middle of the town square thinking, just thinking, and then it rains.
It's a downpour, and I still walk through it.
But I begin to cry. It doesn't matter if I do, no one can see me crying in the rain, but they can hear my whimpers.
A taxi pulls over to the side and I heave to the ground, closer and closer it comes to me.
Of all the times for someone you loved so much to show up, this had to be the worst.
From the very pits of my stomach, I slush out a glob of monstrous crap. Again and again it flows from my mouth.
My crying and slushing all at once, it's just too much!!
"Rory?! Are you okay???" He asks, running over to me.
Am I okay?! Ha! I wish you had asked me that the night I was broken!
Glob after glob, cry after cry......... I feel an outburst coming on.
He tugs at my arm and asks again, "Are you okay??"
My head whips to face his, dripping with the insanity of hate.
"What the hell do you think?! Do I fucking look okay to you??!"
"Rory I"-
I shake my head furiously at him.
Slush!
It rains harder.
"Let go of me!" I shout to him and pull my arm free. "Who do you think you are?! My fucking savior?!"
"I'm trying to"-
"Well don't! I don't need your help! I don't need anyone."
(A/N: okay so I was wrong about the slight profanity..... heh heh....... : 0 )
I was absolutely hysterical! I was completely mad! I had never in a million years thought that I could utter those words, and mean every single one of them.
I was mad! Just mad!
After I had just paced myself to stand I soon fell to the ground again, where he then helped me up, like the 'Good Samaritan' I never knew he could be and carried me home.
Of course I had to point here and there, but I got home, all the same.
Home........ Now that I look at it, it doesn't look the same.
Then again, after that night, nothing looked the same.
I was never the same.
~Review please! Hehe, now I feel all moody!~
A/N: Slight profanity..... Slight......... Oh and it's in her words.........
Feel different..... Changed...... morphed into a being smaller- lowlier than I could have possibly felt in my entire 'less than great' existence.
My mind, crowded with questions- thoughts, understandings, floats unevenly above my shoulders.
Gazing at my hands, I see a ghastly, grotesque, kind- of off white; they have the words 'death' engraved into their very flesh.
It's cold and everything looks eerie. Glancing at the trees above me, they whisper such hateful things and resound in my ears. They pour sadness into my heart and shatter my walls of security.
Slowly, I push myself to stand. It's quite and shady and I want to leave this wretched place. I gradually limp to my car and slip into the passengers seat.
From the mirror above me, my eyes are telling lies. I blink away and think of home, jamming the key into its holder, the car starts for Stars Hollow.
The ride was quiet and oh so lonely. I carry myself as high as I can, which isn't very high, and push my way through the door.
Without even thinking I slip into bed.
Can't smile through the tears, so I just shut my eyes and pretend that nothing happened.
Everything's gonna be all right.........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 days later, absolutely no contact with the outside world.
I've lied to my mother and told her I was excruciatingly sick and could not in any case have company, whatsoever!
2 days later have I had to lie to myself, saying that it never happened, even though it did.
2 days later have I had to lie, but 2 days later I can no longer lie.
I walk into a drug store, away from home, and walk into an isle that I never that I'd entered, but now it's under the circumstances I have presumed to be necessary.
I grab a box and walk to the cashier. She looks at me indifferently and I may as well let that go, from here on out I am but the scum of the earth; because I let it happen, IT WAS MY FAULT.........
I drive back home, hopping to have gone unnoticed and slip into my bathroom. I shut and lock the door and begin the process of notification, so to speak.
In the certain amount of time that I had had to wait, I wondered that if I were bared with this, being, how could I carry on. Knowing that the father of the child was but a bum can most certainly weigh down my problems even more. The shadow...... IT.......
I walk uncertainly back to the bathroom, where the answer to my question awaits.
I throw it back into the sink and crumble to the floor.
No! It's wrong! It cannot be!
But it is.......... It is......
The truth bubbles its questionable face, to resurface the question of inevitability.
How sad, that my life has changed so greatly, because of one night.
One night that will haunt me for days to come, one night that will remain in my mind for forever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 week later and I still hold the truth inside of me.
I can no longer with hold such information. I can no longer watch as it eats me alive.
Still I pretend that I am sick.
My mom has come by, but would not enter my room, by the request of yours truly.
Everyday since the third day of my upheaval assortment of my 'breakdown' or my 'sickness', my mom has stopped by.
I have yet to tell her the secret that I hold so closely to myself, for fear of rejection...... from everyone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's dark now and I feel as though I can walk the streets of Stars Hollow, without the prying eyes of its inhabitants.
I walk in the middle of the town square thinking, just thinking, and then it rains.
It's a downpour, and I still walk through it.
But I begin to cry. It doesn't matter if I do, no one can see me crying in the rain, but they can hear my whimpers.
A taxi pulls over to the side and I heave to the ground, closer and closer it comes to me.
Of all the times for someone you loved so much to show up, this had to be the worst.
From the very pits of my stomach, I slush out a glob of monstrous crap. Again and again it flows from my mouth.
My crying and slushing all at once, it's just too much!!
"Rory?! Are you okay???" He asks, running over to me.
Am I okay?! Ha! I wish you had asked me that the night I was broken!
Glob after glob, cry after cry......... I feel an outburst coming on.
He tugs at my arm and asks again, "Are you okay??"
My head whips to face his, dripping with the insanity of hate.
"What the hell do you think?! Do I fucking look okay to you??!"
"Rory I"-
I shake my head furiously at him.
Slush!
It rains harder.
"Let go of me!" I shout to him and pull my arm free. "Who do you think you are?! My fucking savior?!"
"I'm trying to"-
"Well don't! I don't need your help! I don't need anyone."
(A/N: okay so I was wrong about the slight profanity..... heh heh....... : 0 )
I was absolutely hysterical! I was completely mad! I had never in a million years thought that I could utter those words, and mean every single one of them.
I was mad! Just mad!
After I had just paced myself to stand I soon fell to the ground again, where he then helped me up, like the 'Good Samaritan' I never knew he could be and carried me home.
Of course I had to point here and there, but I got home, all the same.
Home........ Now that I look at it, it doesn't look the same.
Then again, after that night, nothing looked the same.
I was never the same.
~Review please! Hehe, now I feel all moody!~