Heart Break and Courage, a rurouni kenshin fanfic

Heart Break and Courage

Kaoru sat on the porch watching Kenshin as he silently did the dishes. She did this often though no one really new she did; it just always looked like she was reading or watching the trees.

She sighed as she turned her attention back to the Sakura trees that were currently in bloom.

Her heart ached every time she watched Kenshin from afar. The fact that he might never see her as more then a friend weighed down on her heart. She had loved him for so long she couldn't even remember a time that she felt differently. Maybe it was inevitable she would be a lonely instructor for the rest of her life.

She felt something warm slid down her check. Startled she reached up and wiped away the solitary tear that had escaped from her eyes. She hadn't even noticed that she had shed it. Disgusted with herself she got up and walked into the Dojo to see if there was anything she could do to keep her mind of a certain red haired rurouni.

Kenshin looked up from the dishes as Kaoru walked beck in the dojo. She was just so beautiful it was hard to be around her sometimes. All he wanted was to be closer to her. He knew he could never do anything about that feeling. No one like Kaoru could ever feel anything for someone like him. She probably only let him stay here because she pitied him. He didn't care as long as he got to be close to the woman he loved.

What worried him was the sad look that Kaoru had on all the time. Why was she so sad? And for a second it looked like she had cried.

Who ever had made her cry would pay no doubt about it. His hand clenched and his eyes flickered gold. No one messed with his Kaoru…

"Hey Kenshin are you ok," yelled Sano as he and Yahiko walked back form helping out Megumi.

"Yeah Kenshin you look angry and your hand is bleeding," said Yahiko looking concerned. Kenshin looked down; he hadn't even felt himself get cut.

"Oro, I didn't even notice that I cut myself. It's ok I'll be fine it's just a little cut." He said smiling to reassure them as he wrapped his sliced hand in some extra cloth.

"You won't be able to cook like that though," stated Sano. Yahiko looked horrified,

"You mean we will have to eat ugly's cooking. We will all die if we do that." He said gagging to get his point across. Sano started to laugh and Kenshin was about to step in to defend Kaoru but it seemed that Yahiko wasn't done with his ranting.

"I mean her cooking is so bad how does she ever except to get married. I think Kaoru is gonna stay single her whole life. Every guy who looks at her will either die by the mere sight of her or die from her cooking. Then there is her attitude I mean …" Sano laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes stopped Yahiko. Kenshin knew that Yahiko didn't mean what he said. Kaoru was beautiful and it didn't matter that she couldn't cook.

"Save it for another day Yahiko. If you keep this up I won't be able to breathe," Sano said in between breaths.

Kenshin hadn't been paying attention since Yahiko had stopped. He was sure that he had seen Kaoru around the corner of the dojo. He even heard her drop something but it could have just been his imagination.

Kaoru had been absently cleaning up inside the dojo. She heard the gates close and loud voices. So Sano and Yahiko were back from helping Megumi already. She was walking out the past the door when she heard Yahiko say something about Kenshin cutting his hand. Thinking she could make herself useful she went out back and got some water and a clean cloth for Kenshin's hand. She had gotten everything she needed and was walking around the corner when she heard Yahiko talking. She heard her name mentioned and paused to see what they were saying.

"You mean we will have to eat ugly's cooking. We will all die if we do that." She heard Yahiko say making noises after he said it. She heard Sano start to laugh and Yahiko continued,

She wasn't even paying attention any more tears were streaming freely down her face. The bowl of water she was holding dropped from her hands with a thud and she ran through the back of the dojo into her room.

She flopped on her futon and wept into her pillow. It hurt it really did. To know that that was what everyone thought about her. And Yahiko just said what she already knew she would be alone for the rest of her life. Sure she had Sano and Yahiko, but they didn't really stay around that much. And Kenshin, there was nothing keeping him here. He could just leave whenever he wanted. Why would he stay around an ugly little girl who couldn't even cook? With that thought fresh tears streamed down her face.

That was what really hurt, the fact that throughout the whole conversation Kenshin never said anything. He didn't defend her or even disagree with them.

She heard footsteps in the hallway. She needed to do something or they would come and see her like this. It was bad enough they thought she was ugly if they saw her now they would think she was weak and pathetic.

She got up off her futon and wiped her puffy eyes the best she could. She took a deep breath and opened the door.

She walked down the hallway were the three guys were.

"You guys I'm not really feeling that good why don't you go out and eat," she said trying not to look at anyone. She feared if she did that her eyes would start to tear up again. When had she gotten this weak she silently asked herself?

Yahiko was positively jumping with joy.

"Great we can eat good food," he yelled.

"Missy we don't have any money," said Sano looking at her worriedly.

"That's ok, just take this," she said throwing them the money she had been saving for a new kimono.

"Miss Kaoru are you sure I thought that money was for…" she cut Kenshin off.

"Its ok Kenshin really you guys deserve it," she answered trying to look sincere

"Come on Kenshin Kaoru is being nice for once let's go," said Yahiko as he grabbed Kenshin's arm and dragged him out the door.

"Alright we will bring you back something to eat Miss Kaoru," he said as they exited the dojo.

As soon as they were out of sight Kaoru's restraint broke and she dropped to the floor crying into her hands. There was just so much a girl could take and it looked like she just reached her limit.

Kenshin stopped when they were about halfway through the yard. He was facing the corner of the dojo staring at something.

"Come on Kenshin I'm hungry," whined Yahiko. Sano followed Kenshin's gaze. There was a bowl and rag on the ground near the corner of the house. Kenshin walked up to it and picked it up. So he was right Kaoru was there. Then his eyes widened that meant that she had heard what Yahiko had said.

Sano and Yahiko walked up behind him.

"What is it Kenshin," asked Sano.

"You guy's go ahead alright," he said as he straightened up. He had thought Kaoru looked more depressed when she had come out of her room. And her eyes looked puffy like she had been crying a lot.

"All right come on Yahiko," replied Sano as he dragged a confused Yahiko towards the front.

Once they were out of the yard he stopped and ducked behind a bush.

"Sano what are you doing," asked a still confused Yahiko.

Sano grabbed his collar and pulled him down.

"Shut up will you," he said.

"Look you jerk will you please just tell me what the heck is going on," he said fiercely frustrated at being left out of things. Sano turned towards Yahiko with a serious look on his face, which was rare for Sano. Instantly Yahiko went silent.

"Look when you were making fun of Missy I think she heard you. Did you see her face when she came out of her room? Her eyes were all puffy and red," he stated seriously.

"Yeah so what does that mean," asked Yahiko dumbly. Sano growled in frustration and hit Yahiko over the head.

"Ow that hurt," yelled Yahiko.

"It means that YOU made Kaoru cry," he said poking Yahiko in the chest. Yahiko instantly went into a stunned silence.

He hadn't meant it he just liked teasing Kaoru. She was kind of like his big sister and that's what little brothers were supposed to do. He looked at Sano guilt clearly shinning in his eyes,

"I…I…didn't mean to. I mean," stammered Yahiko. Sano just patted his back,

"I know you didn't mean to. I just want to see if Kenshin does it," Sanso said watching the front of the dojo.

"You mean tall her that he loves her," asked Yahiko. Sano looked at him shocked

"What you think I didn't notice that everyone can see that he is head over heals in love with her," he said, "I mean the only one that seems not to know is Kaoru." Sano just smiled and patted Yahiko's head.

"Sometimes you surprise me kid,"

"Hey I am not a Kid,"

Kenshin walked on the porch as quietly as he could. He slid the door open and walked in not making a single sound. He saw Kaoru on her knees where they had left her. She was crying into her hands. Kenshin's heart clenched at the sight she looked so upset. He quietly walked over to her. She didn't even look up; he knelt down and lightly touched her shoulder.

She jumped about a foot in the air. Her head whipped up which wasn't exactly a good thing because Kenshin's head was closer to hers then she had expected.

Her head hit Kenshin's with a loud crack.

"Oro," exclaimed Kenshin holding his head.

"Kenshin I'm so sorry I didn't mean to. I'll go get something for your head," she said as she rose to her feet.

Kenshin hadn't really been listening to what she was saying. He was staring at her eyes and face. Those blue eyes he loved so much were glassy from crying so much her face was red and there were numerous tear stains down her face. Kenshin grabbed her wrist to stop her from leaving.

"Miss Kaoru why are you crying," he said as he gently wiped the remaining tears from her face.

"Oh that it was nothing I'm ok now. You should get going before Sanosuke and Yahiko eat all the food. I'll be fine," she said but as she said this more tears ran down her face. Kenshin straightened up and for a moment Kaoru thought he was going to leave she really didn't want him to leave his presence calmed her.

She looked down but let put a surprised yelp when two strong arms lifted her off the floor. Kenshin was holding her bridal style as he walked towards his room. He slid open the door with his foot and closed it.

"Kenshin what are you doing," asked a surprised Kaoru. Her cheeks tainted with a light blush. Kenshin gently set her down on his futon and sat on the floor next to it.

"Miss Kaoru can you please tell me why have you been crying," he asked her.

"Kenshin I told you it's nothing. You should go eat," she insisted.

"I am not going anywhere until you tell me why you have been crying and why you look so sad all the time," he told her but not in a demanding way.

She looked up at him shocked. He had noticed the way she was acting, god she felt so stupid right now.

"Kaoru who is it that is hurting you so much. The Kaoru I know would not break down this easily when Yahiko makes a joke," he said as he brushed some stray hairs out of her face.

That did it she broke down for the third time that day. Tears streaming down her face. She threw herself in his arms crying. Kenshin's eyes widened and his arms automatically closed around her. He climbed on the futon with her in her lap. He just held her until her sobs stopped.

"I'm sorry Kenshin I…" she began but he cut off ant apology she had.

"Why have you been so sad," he asked his eyes pleading. She couldn't resist those beautiful purple eyes. She looked down,

"I…well I…what I mean is that every thing Yahiko said is true," a few more tears fell from her eyes.

"Miss Kaoru how can you believe that," he said. He always thought Kaoru knew that Yahiko was just joking.

"Kenshin look at it from my point of view. I have never had any man show any interest in me. It shouldn't really matter but it just kind of hurts to know that I'll be alone for the rest of my life," she admitted softly. Kenshin's eyes were still wide,

"That's not true. You have me, Sano, and Yahiko,"

She looked up at him tears still leaking from her eyes,

"Sano will probably finally admit that he likes Megumi and move in with her. Yahiko will grow up and move out to live on his own," she looked down and continued, "and you have nothing keeping you here you could leave whenever you want. And when you do I will be all alone again," Kenshin cupped her cheek and forced her to look up at him.

Kaoru's heart was beating so fast she thought it would burst out of her chest.

"I promise, I will not leave, I don't think I would be able to anyway," he admitted just as softly. She looked up at him confused at what she was talking about,

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I fell in love with someone," he said smiling. As he said this Kaoru's heart shattered into a thousand pieces. Another sob racked threw her body. She quickly scrambled to her feet.

"I am happy for you," she managed to choke out before bolted for the door desperate to get away.

Kenshin sat there in shock. What had gotten her so upset? The look of pain that had crossed her face it made his own heart clench in pain. His own heart shattering with what he thought was rejection. He just had to say it before she left. Then he would leave her alone and not bother her again. He bolted for the door before she could make it.

"Miss Kaoru I just have to say this before you leave," he looked down at the floor.

"I love you," he said quietly. Her eyes opened in shock. He was talking about her.

"What?" she chocked out not believing her ears. Kenshin looked down,

"I said that I love you and I have for a long time and I am sorry I know that..." Kaoru cut him off. She took a step forward,

"So before when you said that the reason you couldn't leave was because you fell in love you were talking about me."

"Of course you thought I was…" He didn't even get to finish his sentence. Kaoru had thrown herself in his arms yet again. She was crying but this time they were tears of joy. She looked up at the confused rurouni and pressed her lips to his. She poured all her pent up emotions into that one kiss. When she parted poor Kenshin looked dazed and lost. She just wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head in the crook of his neck.

"I love you so much Kenshin," she whispered her breath tickling his neck. Kenshin pulled back enough to look into her eyes.

"You do?" he asked his eyes wide. She just nodded her head and smiled for the first time all day. Kenshin kissed her again and spun her around. Kaoru's laughter filled the room and could be heard throughout the dojo.

In the window you could see two spiky heads duck down. Yahiko and Sano left the window and started to head out for their long awaited dinner.

"That was sickening," stated Yahiko. Sanosuke just looked over at him and grinned.

"What ever you know you want to do that to Tsubame," he said amusement thick in his voice.

"No I don't" yelled Yahiko defensively.

"Don't lie you love her," Said Sano as he ran down the street.

"Get back here you liar," yelled an embarrassed Yahiko as he ran after Sano.

The End

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So how do you like it please review and tell me what you think