Sam sat down next to Daniel on a sand dune. She could hear pieces of conversations and see the fire from the camp not too far away. "Hey." Sam greeted her friend. "Whatcha doin?"
Daniel continued to gaze out into the distance. "Being here at night... it reminds me of Abydos sometimes."
Sam looked at Daniel curiously: he could sometimes be an incredible paradox: he could be one of the easiest people to read or one of the most difficult; he knew how to be a comfort to others, yet often wouldn't accept comfort they had to offer; he could be deceptively honest, which was the case now: he had given her one of his thoughts, but she knew there was more buried. "Are you okay?" Sam pressed.
Daniel dropped his eyes to the sand and gave in quickly; yet another indication that something was wrong. "I don't know." He replied. "Two worlds just collided that never should have met and I feel like I'm in over my head."
"Are you still having the dreams?" Sam questioned.
"Yeah." Daniel nodded calmly, but suddenly became agitated. "It's right there, but I don't know what it means!" He dug the heels of his hands into his eyes aggressively, then paused. Daniel looked at Sam, a little embarrassed by his outburst. "I think I'm beginning to unravel." He told her quietly.
Sam smiled and held up her thumb and forefinger in an indication of size. "Maybe a little."
Daniel smiled himself, then frowned and focused his attention on a mound of sand he began constructing. "Look, about before –"
"I don't need an explanation." Sam interrupted.
Daniel smoothed over the mound and looked back at her. "I know you don't. – Thank you."
"I meant it all." She told him honestly.
Daniel held her eye contact really for the first time since she'd arrived. "I know you did."
"You found the underground room." Sam affirmed. "You figured out the sphere and opened the tunnels."
At this Daniel did turn his head away, but in humility rather than avoidance or irritation. "Yeah."
"But you can't figure out how it all ties together." Sam was beginning to understand pieces of what Daniel was feeling, even without him expressing it to her directly.
"No."
"And you think Bailey can."
"Yes."
"You made the..." Sam paused, remembering to use their cover story "...deep space radar telemetry work."
"No..." Daniel shook his head. "I figured it out. A lot of other people..." he looked at Sam and smiled. "...you... made it work. Just like the Asguard device and the tunnels." Daniel didn't bother with the double-talk.
"How many lives have you saved?" Sam asked bluntly.
Daniel looked away again, staring off into the night sky. "I couldn't save Sha're." he reflected sadly. "I couldn't save Abydos."
"You could save me... and the colonel... in Antarctica. You helped Teal'c, when he was with Bra'tac." Sam pointed out. "But you still don't think you've done enough." It was a statement, rather than a question.
"Do you think you've done enough?" Daniel turned her reasoning around.
"I know that there's still more to do." Sam answered honestly. "Daniel, you've given so much... you've lost so much. Give yourself a break."
"I can't pretend my brand of suffering is worse than anyone else's, Sam." Daniel stated with a sort of finality. "Jack lost his son, Teal'c lost his wife and Shau'nauc and almost never sees his own child," he looked at her again, "you lost your mother, Martouf, Narim... You don't give yourself a break." Daniel looked back to the stars. "If I've lost the most, maybe it's just because I had the most. It's all relative, isn't it?"
Sam thought a moment. "Maybe it is." She reflected. "Maybe you did have the most... that doesn't make it hurt any less."
"No." Daniel answered softly.
Author's Notes: I wanted to bring out what I think is an intriguing piece of Daniel's personality: he's very passionate and can be transparent in what he's feeling, but other times, he holds things back. It seems like he keeps the things that really hurt him to himself – like how we never saw him cry after Sha're's death (his voice got quivery when he was talking to Jack in Forever in a Day – but he quashed his emotions rather quickly), how after Jack left for Edora in Shades of Grey, Daniel just watched from the gateroom... it's interesting to me.