-_- Here we go. This chapter is slightly longer because of an added bonus.
Actually this doesn't seem as bad as I made it sound....It seemed worse in
my head....sowwy! lol
Nine years ago (again):
"Oh Inuyasha, it's beautiful." Kagome said. There they sat, at the top of a hill staring up at the night sky. Kagome felt so close to the stars that she could reach out and grab one.
Then as far as Kagome could see, there was a field of wildflowers gently swaying with the night wind. Fireflies seemed to light up the field making it seem too beautiful to be real.
Inuyasha sat next to her and slowly reached out to her hand. "Do you really like it?" he asked. " I was planning on...settling down here." He said slowly. Should he really be saying all this to her?
Kagome looked at him. "It would be a great place to live. There's lots of room." She said thoughtfully. If she could pick any place to live then it would be right here. She was sure of it.
"It may be even fun to raise a family." Inuyasha said all too quickly. All Kagome heard was a blur of words.
Kagome giggled. "Inuyasha do you sound so nervous?"
The last word barely slipped out of Kagome's mouth when Inuyasha suddenly grabbed her, pulled her forward and gave her a deep and heated kiss. Then as quickly as he started, he pushed her away blushing madly. The kiss was only a brief moment. But it would be one that would last forever.
Kagome held her face in her hands as she blushed the same shade of red as Inuyasha, perhaps redder.
No one said anything for a few seconds. Inuyasha would look at Kagome and dart his eyes away and Kagome would do the same. Their hearts were rapid and faces both showed slight embarrassment with a little grin.
Finally their eyes locked and neither was able to look away. Now Kagome realized how close they were next to each other. She was frightened, she had always wished for his love and affection but now that something like that had actually happened she felt sick with nervousness. What would happen now?
"K-......" Inuyasha started to speak but stopped to swallow. This was crazy. The emotions that he was feeling right now, the thoughts that were running through his mind, and the way Kagome looked much more beautiful when her cheeks were slightly pink and her hair gently blowing in the wind were things that felt foreign to him.
Never had he felt this way. Not even with Kikyo. The person he was doing this for. It scared him and he never liked being afraid. He could never handle the feeling of being uncertain about something. It drove him crazy. Kagome drove him crazy because of the uncertainty she always filled him with. Why was she so nice for no reason? What did she want from him? She seemed so easy to trust and to like. To even love. She was too innocent and too pure to be true. She filled him with doubt that she would easily turn on him and that's what made him push her away.
He needed to be certain of everything. To know what he was feeling and thinking. That's why he needed Kikyo. And to his relief, he was certain of that.
"Kagome." He finally choked out. "Kagome, Everything I do is for the sake of the one I love." He said slowly. As if trying to remember and recite something. "So please, don't ever hold it against me."
Kagome stared at him for a long moment. Time seemed to stop and she caught her breath. What was he saying? Did that actually mean....did that actually mean that he loved her?
She couldn't think anymore. She couldn't breathe or talk or move. Yet she found the courage to do so.
Slowly, ever so slowly the two leaned in for a kiss.
It lasted much more than a brief moment.
----------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------
The present:
Kagome screamed as she rolled away, off Sesshomaru's lap and onto the floor. He was gazing at her with an almost surprised expression. What made it even stranger was that after she moved, he did not respond. He still stared in the same spot with the same expression.
Kagome breathed heavily, hand gripping her chest. She didn't know what had happened. All she could remember was that she was having a nightmare. She could see Anomie slowly fading away from her. Out of her grasp. She was trying to run, to reach and hold her but the girl had disappeared completely.
Then she suddenly heard the words "Everything I do is for the sake of the one I love." And memories came flashing back. Touching the stars and smiling happily. Being so fulfilled that the fact of Inuyasha was there with her.
He had changed so much over the years. His heart grew colder towards her. Like a door being shut in her face.
Then as the memory ended she saw Inuyasha, holding Anomie's limp body in his hands. There was a devilish smirk on his face. Kikyo appeared by his side, gripping his arm. She too was smiling.
Kagome brought her gaze down to her daughter and saw her head, rolled back and eyes closed. Her mouth was slightly parted. Her chest...she wasn't breathing. She wasn't moving.
Anomie was dead.
"No." Kagome breathed. She could feel herself shaking. "No." she said, her voice cracking and sounding teary. This was not true. Anomie was not dead and this was not the Inuyasha she knew.
"How c-could" she managed to choke out as she tried to hold back tears. It was just a dream! It wasn't true!
"How c-could" she said again.
Inuyasha laughed. "How could what?" he asked. Though his voice did not fit him. It sounded more like Sesshomaru.
Kagome looked into his eyes, her mouth set in a grim line. "How could you?" She had said and everything went pink.
Then she had woken up. That was all that she had remembered. Kagome stood and inched towards Sesshomaru's statue figure. She touched his hair gently and saw that it still felt the same. Soft and silky. So what was wrong with him? Why was he frozen like ice but still felt naturally warm?
Kagome didn't even wait around to think about it. Her daughter needed her. She could feel it.
Kagome didn't even look back, as she ran from the mansion and into the forest.
----------------- ------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------- ------
"Tag, Dereku!"
" Not uh! That's not fair!"
Anomie began to run, dodging passing villagers and laughing happily. She hadn't seen Dereku in such a long time. He was her only friend. Besides his little brother, Rei.
Her father had surprised her by taking her to Aunt Sango and Uncle Miroku's village for a little while. For a moment she was too distracted to think of her mother.
Sango came out of her home and slowly sat down by Inuyasha. She mustn't try to upset her growing stomach, which was carrying her third child. Inuyasha was sitting Indian style with his sword against his shoulders. They both watched the children in silence.
"She's grown so big." Sango said quietly. She was very well aware of the situation between Inuyasha and Kagome. And it pained her heart to see them like that. But she was keeping her promise to Kagome. She swore she would.
"And I've missed most of it." Inuyasha gave a calm reply. "I swear on my life I won't miss another moment."
Sango sighed and rubbed her stomach. "And Kagome? What about her?....is she well?"
Inuyasha snorted and turned his head to the side. "I couldn't care less. My brother took her. Hopefully she's dead by now." He said almost scornfully.
"You don't mean that, Inu-"
"The hell I don't."
"But she's the mother of your child!" Sango yelled. She was breathing hard, trying not to cry and slap him at the same time. She hated him. Hated him with all her heart and soul but as long as she lived she would keep her word to Kagome.
Inuyasha closed his eyes. "Kikyo can be the mother of my child." He said softly. And for a while that was the last word.
Sango stared at him and shook her head. She leaned back against the hut, carefully and watched Anomie tickle her youngest son while Dereku held him down.
She wanted to kill Inuyasha. But she couldn't. Kagome's request was all she had left of her best friend. And it meant the world to her. Even if it made her want to cry and scream at the same time.
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The next day:
Anomie awoke from her futon and stretched. She had a lot of fun playing with Dereku and Rei yesterday. She hoped today she could go again!
She ran outside to greet her father but discovered that Kikyo was there instead. She stopped and scowled.
"Good morning Ms.Kikyo" she said through clenched teeth. She had received a beating because of this woman, which only added to her dislike for her.
"You are allowed to call me mother now, Anomie." She replied as she picked up an arrow. She was practicing her archery. A few feet away there was a tree with a tiny red dot in it.
"No thank you Ms.Kikyo." Anomie said as she rolled her eyes. "Have you seen my father?" she asked. She didn't want to stay around her anymore.
Kagome strung her arrow and aimed. "He went hunting for the day. You will stay with me. It will give us more time to.....talk." Kikyo released and the arrow went flying towards the tree, almost hitting the dot. It was only a few inches off. Shrugging slightly she strung another arrow.
Anomie mentally cursed.
" Do you want to know a secret, Anomie?" Kikyo asked as she aimed more carefully this time. If she was going to act she needed to act now. Her time was running out.
Anomie sat down and visibly scowled. She wanted her mommy now and she wanted to go to the future and see grandma.
"Anomie you must answer when you speak back to your mother."
"YOUR NOT MY-" she stopped mid sentence. She was going to get in trouble again. How could she answer without making the woman tell her father?
She got it.
"My mother isn't here." She said in a falsely kind voice.
Kikyo shot again and missed. But the arrow was much closer this time. She took her second to last arrow and strung it once again.
"Well then. How unfortunate it will be when she forgets about you. Then she'll never see you again." Kikyo said almost carelessly.
Anomie looked at the much older woman, suspiciously. "What are you talking about?"
Kikyo aimed very carefully this time. "Everyone knows that when a mother spends too much time away from her child, that the mother forgets about her. The mother stops loving the child and won't care about her anymore." She said.
"You're lying." Anomie replied simply.
"I never lie." Kikyo said.
"My mommy will never forget about me. She loves me too much."
Kikyo shot but missed her mark completely. Hell. She even missed the tree. What the child had said took away her concentration.
Love. What a joke. There was no such thing as love and she would prove it. There was only one thing that mattered in life and that was surviving.
"Oh?" Kikyo said as she picked up her last arrow. She would not be surprised again. "Well don't you think it strange that she hasn't come for you yet?"
Anomie didn't answer at this. That was strange...
"And don't you think it strange that you haven't even been able to pick up her scent?" she asked as she strung the arrow one last time and aimed.
Inuyasha had filled her in on what happened in the forest and had told her that since then, he hadn't picked up her scent.
Again Anomie could not answer this. That was strange too...her mommy really wouldn't be forgetting about her, could she?
"And I think it very strange that when your father took you away from her, she didn't even say a word." Kikyo said and shot. The arrow went speeding towards the dot.
Anomie stared at the ground. She remembered calling out to her mother and that the other man had her....and then it looked like her mother went to sleep. She didn't even look worried or scared!
Anomie panicked and ran towards the forest, following her father's scent. She was scared.
Her mommy forgetting about her!
Kikyo watched her leave and smiled a cold smile. She walked over to the tree and looked at what mark her arrow had hit.
Bull's eye. ---------- --------------------------- ------------------------------------- ---- ---------------------------
Ok that's it but here is a little extra. It's what Kagome made Sango promise:
"Don't hate him, Sango." Kagome had said one late night. She had Anomie wrapped up in a hood and cloak and was carrying her. The young girl was asleep. "Please don't hate him." She begged.
Sango had stood back, Miroku by her side. "Kagome look at what he's doing to you. Look what he ALREADY did to you!" she said angrily. "You don't have to run. You can stay and we can help-"
"Protect me?" Kagome finished for her. She shifted her daughter's weight to her other shoulder. "I can't have people defend me all my life, Sango." She said pointedly.
"Yes, but-"
"I'll be fine. And I'll be back. Just keep your word to me and promise you won't blame Inuyasha for what both of us did." She said and began walking away. "I know I can't." she said more to herself than to the two of them and disappeared in the darkness of the forest.
(SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER!)
Nine years ago (again):
"Oh Inuyasha, it's beautiful." Kagome said. There they sat, at the top of a hill staring up at the night sky. Kagome felt so close to the stars that she could reach out and grab one.
Then as far as Kagome could see, there was a field of wildflowers gently swaying with the night wind. Fireflies seemed to light up the field making it seem too beautiful to be real.
Inuyasha sat next to her and slowly reached out to her hand. "Do you really like it?" he asked. " I was planning on...settling down here." He said slowly. Should he really be saying all this to her?
Kagome looked at him. "It would be a great place to live. There's lots of room." She said thoughtfully. If she could pick any place to live then it would be right here. She was sure of it.
"It may be even fun to raise a family." Inuyasha said all too quickly. All Kagome heard was a blur of words.
Kagome giggled. "Inuyasha do you sound so nervous?"
The last word barely slipped out of Kagome's mouth when Inuyasha suddenly grabbed her, pulled her forward and gave her a deep and heated kiss. Then as quickly as he started, he pushed her away blushing madly. The kiss was only a brief moment. But it would be one that would last forever.
Kagome held her face in her hands as she blushed the same shade of red as Inuyasha, perhaps redder.
No one said anything for a few seconds. Inuyasha would look at Kagome and dart his eyes away and Kagome would do the same. Their hearts were rapid and faces both showed slight embarrassment with a little grin.
Finally their eyes locked and neither was able to look away. Now Kagome realized how close they were next to each other. She was frightened, she had always wished for his love and affection but now that something like that had actually happened she felt sick with nervousness. What would happen now?
"K-......" Inuyasha started to speak but stopped to swallow. This was crazy. The emotions that he was feeling right now, the thoughts that were running through his mind, and the way Kagome looked much more beautiful when her cheeks were slightly pink and her hair gently blowing in the wind were things that felt foreign to him.
Never had he felt this way. Not even with Kikyo. The person he was doing this for. It scared him and he never liked being afraid. He could never handle the feeling of being uncertain about something. It drove him crazy. Kagome drove him crazy because of the uncertainty she always filled him with. Why was she so nice for no reason? What did she want from him? She seemed so easy to trust and to like. To even love. She was too innocent and too pure to be true. She filled him with doubt that she would easily turn on him and that's what made him push her away.
He needed to be certain of everything. To know what he was feeling and thinking. That's why he needed Kikyo. And to his relief, he was certain of that.
"Kagome." He finally choked out. "Kagome, Everything I do is for the sake of the one I love." He said slowly. As if trying to remember and recite something. "So please, don't ever hold it against me."
Kagome stared at him for a long moment. Time seemed to stop and she caught her breath. What was he saying? Did that actually mean....did that actually mean that he loved her?
She couldn't think anymore. She couldn't breathe or talk or move. Yet she found the courage to do so.
Slowly, ever so slowly the two leaned in for a kiss.
It lasted much more than a brief moment.
----------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------
The present:
Kagome screamed as she rolled away, off Sesshomaru's lap and onto the floor. He was gazing at her with an almost surprised expression. What made it even stranger was that after she moved, he did not respond. He still stared in the same spot with the same expression.
Kagome breathed heavily, hand gripping her chest. She didn't know what had happened. All she could remember was that she was having a nightmare. She could see Anomie slowly fading away from her. Out of her grasp. She was trying to run, to reach and hold her but the girl had disappeared completely.
Then she suddenly heard the words "Everything I do is for the sake of the one I love." And memories came flashing back. Touching the stars and smiling happily. Being so fulfilled that the fact of Inuyasha was there with her.
He had changed so much over the years. His heart grew colder towards her. Like a door being shut in her face.
Then as the memory ended she saw Inuyasha, holding Anomie's limp body in his hands. There was a devilish smirk on his face. Kikyo appeared by his side, gripping his arm. She too was smiling.
Kagome brought her gaze down to her daughter and saw her head, rolled back and eyes closed. Her mouth was slightly parted. Her chest...she wasn't breathing. She wasn't moving.
Anomie was dead.
"No." Kagome breathed. She could feel herself shaking. "No." she said, her voice cracking and sounding teary. This was not true. Anomie was not dead and this was not the Inuyasha she knew.
"How c-could" she managed to choke out as she tried to hold back tears. It was just a dream! It wasn't true!
"How c-could" she said again.
Inuyasha laughed. "How could what?" he asked. Though his voice did not fit him. It sounded more like Sesshomaru.
Kagome looked into his eyes, her mouth set in a grim line. "How could you?" She had said and everything went pink.
Then she had woken up. That was all that she had remembered. Kagome stood and inched towards Sesshomaru's statue figure. She touched his hair gently and saw that it still felt the same. Soft and silky. So what was wrong with him? Why was he frozen like ice but still felt naturally warm?
Kagome didn't even wait around to think about it. Her daughter needed her. She could feel it.
Kagome didn't even look back, as she ran from the mansion and into the forest.
----------------- ------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------- ------
"Tag, Dereku!"
" Not uh! That's not fair!"
Anomie began to run, dodging passing villagers and laughing happily. She hadn't seen Dereku in such a long time. He was her only friend. Besides his little brother, Rei.
Her father had surprised her by taking her to Aunt Sango and Uncle Miroku's village for a little while. For a moment she was too distracted to think of her mother.
Sango came out of her home and slowly sat down by Inuyasha. She mustn't try to upset her growing stomach, which was carrying her third child. Inuyasha was sitting Indian style with his sword against his shoulders. They both watched the children in silence.
"She's grown so big." Sango said quietly. She was very well aware of the situation between Inuyasha and Kagome. And it pained her heart to see them like that. But she was keeping her promise to Kagome. She swore she would.
"And I've missed most of it." Inuyasha gave a calm reply. "I swear on my life I won't miss another moment."
Sango sighed and rubbed her stomach. "And Kagome? What about her?....is she well?"
Inuyasha snorted and turned his head to the side. "I couldn't care less. My brother took her. Hopefully she's dead by now." He said almost scornfully.
"You don't mean that, Inu-"
"The hell I don't."
"But she's the mother of your child!" Sango yelled. She was breathing hard, trying not to cry and slap him at the same time. She hated him. Hated him with all her heart and soul but as long as she lived she would keep her word to Kagome.
Inuyasha closed his eyes. "Kikyo can be the mother of my child." He said softly. And for a while that was the last word.
Sango stared at him and shook her head. She leaned back against the hut, carefully and watched Anomie tickle her youngest son while Dereku held him down.
She wanted to kill Inuyasha. But she couldn't. Kagome's request was all she had left of her best friend. And it meant the world to her. Even if it made her want to cry and scream at the same time.
-------------- --------------------------- ---------------------- ---------- ------------ --------------------
The next day:
Anomie awoke from her futon and stretched. She had a lot of fun playing with Dereku and Rei yesterday. She hoped today she could go again!
She ran outside to greet her father but discovered that Kikyo was there instead. She stopped and scowled.
"Good morning Ms.Kikyo" she said through clenched teeth. She had received a beating because of this woman, which only added to her dislike for her.
"You are allowed to call me mother now, Anomie." She replied as she picked up an arrow. She was practicing her archery. A few feet away there was a tree with a tiny red dot in it.
"No thank you Ms.Kikyo." Anomie said as she rolled her eyes. "Have you seen my father?" she asked. She didn't want to stay around her anymore.
Kagome strung her arrow and aimed. "He went hunting for the day. You will stay with me. It will give us more time to.....talk." Kikyo released and the arrow went flying towards the tree, almost hitting the dot. It was only a few inches off. Shrugging slightly she strung another arrow.
Anomie mentally cursed.
" Do you want to know a secret, Anomie?" Kikyo asked as she aimed more carefully this time. If she was going to act she needed to act now. Her time was running out.
Anomie sat down and visibly scowled. She wanted her mommy now and she wanted to go to the future and see grandma.
"Anomie you must answer when you speak back to your mother."
"YOUR NOT MY-" she stopped mid sentence. She was going to get in trouble again. How could she answer without making the woman tell her father?
She got it.
"My mother isn't here." She said in a falsely kind voice.
Kikyo shot again and missed. But the arrow was much closer this time. She took her second to last arrow and strung it once again.
"Well then. How unfortunate it will be when she forgets about you. Then she'll never see you again." Kikyo said almost carelessly.
Anomie looked at the much older woman, suspiciously. "What are you talking about?"
Kikyo aimed very carefully this time. "Everyone knows that when a mother spends too much time away from her child, that the mother forgets about her. The mother stops loving the child and won't care about her anymore." She said.
"You're lying." Anomie replied simply.
"I never lie." Kikyo said.
"My mommy will never forget about me. She loves me too much."
Kikyo shot but missed her mark completely. Hell. She even missed the tree. What the child had said took away her concentration.
Love. What a joke. There was no such thing as love and she would prove it. There was only one thing that mattered in life and that was surviving.
"Oh?" Kikyo said as she picked up her last arrow. She would not be surprised again. "Well don't you think it strange that she hasn't come for you yet?"
Anomie didn't answer at this. That was strange...
"And don't you think it strange that you haven't even been able to pick up her scent?" she asked as she strung the arrow one last time and aimed.
Inuyasha had filled her in on what happened in the forest and had told her that since then, he hadn't picked up her scent.
Again Anomie could not answer this. That was strange too...her mommy really wouldn't be forgetting about her, could she?
"And I think it very strange that when your father took you away from her, she didn't even say a word." Kikyo said and shot. The arrow went speeding towards the dot.
Anomie stared at the ground. She remembered calling out to her mother and that the other man had her....and then it looked like her mother went to sleep. She didn't even look worried or scared!
Anomie panicked and ran towards the forest, following her father's scent. She was scared.
Her mommy forgetting about her!
Kikyo watched her leave and smiled a cold smile. She walked over to the tree and looked at what mark her arrow had hit.
Bull's eye. ---------- --------------------------- ------------------------------------- ---- ---------------------------
Ok that's it but here is a little extra. It's what Kagome made Sango promise:
"Don't hate him, Sango." Kagome had said one late night. She had Anomie wrapped up in a hood and cloak and was carrying her. The young girl was asleep. "Please don't hate him." She begged.
Sango had stood back, Miroku by her side. "Kagome look at what he's doing to you. Look what he ALREADY did to you!" she said angrily. "You don't have to run. You can stay and we can help-"
"Protect me?" Kagome finished for her. She shifted her daughter's weight to her other shoulder. "I can't have people defend me all my life, Sango." She said pointedly.
"Yes, but-"
"I'll be fine. And I'll be back. Just keep your word to me and promise you won't blame Inuyasha for what both of us did." She said and began walking away. "I know I can't." she said more to herself than to the two of them and disappeared in the darkness of the forest.
(SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER!)