Storyteller

Mayura Daidouji sat up in her bed, propped by pillows and blankets. Though she was wrapped up in a down comforter, and she had on a thick night gown she was still cold. Cold and alone. It was a feeling she was unused to, but it crept over her more and more often lately. She could feel it, even though she was surrounded by her family. In the way her body creaked as she moved. In the way she would look at her hands, and not recognize them for her own, as frail and wrinkled as they were. In the way little things like sitting up or brushing her hair made her hurt. Or the way sometimes her hair would fall over her shoulder, and instead of the lustrous pink it once was, thin white strands like cob webs caught the corner of her eye. She was tired all the time. She was dying.

"And what do you expect?" she thought.

Dying was probably just natural for a ninety-year-old woman. And she had lived a full life. Her darling daughter, Nana, and her grandchildren would survive her. And she had left them with the rich collection of stories of her youth. Of course, they never believed the stories of the strange mysteries she told them were true. Well, when they were younger, maybe they believed a little. In that way that a child would have no reason to believe that 'gramma' would lie, and no experience to tell them that ghosts and vampires didn't exist. They would listen as she told them about the suit of armor that terrorized her high school or the when she had to outrun zombies in a man-eating hotel, while their mother would shake her head, already having heard the stories a million times. Her grandchildren would stare at her wide-eyed, still believing that such things could happen in every day life. As they got older, as they had memorized her stories, the awe turned to disbelief, and the disbelief became good natured teasing. Her grandchildren thought she had a wonderful imagination.

But that was fine. She knew one day they'd be telling their children about zombie houses and child detectives. Nana had started the tradition already, actually. She had told her little girl, Nana, and Nana had told Arisu and Jun, and they, of course, had gone straight to the source. Even if nobody would believe them, they were pretty good stories, you had to admit. When Mayura looked back on those days she was wistful. Though she loved her family dearly, the most interesting times of her life occurred at the Enjaku detective agency. Sometimes she wondered what her life would have been like if she had stayed. In her more bitter moments she wondered if she'd still be alive. But no. Those were happy times in her life. And they were over now. It seemed like her time had passed in the blink of an eye.

"Somehow, I thought I'd have forever."

"Forever is a long time, Mayura."

"So you say." She recognized that voice, though she'd heard only a handful of times. Mayura smiled and turned to the source of it. It was him. A man she hadn't seen for so many years, but whose face she couldn't forget. Her last mystery. Finally here to be solved before she moved on. His face was ageless, exactly as it had been the last time she saw him, years and years ago when she was still a school girl. And when she saw him leaning against her wall, all green eyes and knowing smirk she felt her heart lift, and the solitude faded. He could always make her happy. He could bring a piece of her back that she hadn't known she'd buried long ago. Perhaps it was nostalgia. Or perhaps…

"You haven't changed at all."

"Neither have you."

Mayura threw back her head and laughed. The sound was bittersweet, and the laughter gave way to a fit of coughing. Her mouth was dry; she reached for the water near her bedside, unable to help the small fit of giggles still bubbling up in her chest. Her throat burned. She hadn't laughed for a long time.

"Liar."

Loki nodded. "I am. But I meant it. You haven't changed. Here." And he pointed to his chest, to his heart.

"Of course," She smiled, maybe a little sadly, and beckoned him over. "Come closer."

He came and sat near her, on the side of her bed. Mayura slowly reached toward him, positive she was dreaming or worse. Her hand almost touched his cheek, dancing down his face, but she wasn't brave enough to find out if he'd really come back to her. She pulled her hand away, but he brought his own up and carefully covered her frail hand with his bringing it to his cheek, leaning into her palm. He was warm.

"Loki," She whispered. "You're still younger than me."

"You know."

"I figured it out. Just before…" She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"You left," His voice was accusing and hurt, and a bit confused. "Why did you leave us?"

She looked away, unable to meet his eyes. Hurt and confusion were not words she associated with the man beside her. Mayura's sigh was the only sound in the room for a long while. She tried to make sense of her reasoning. She had left, soon after her graduation from high school. Even now she couldn't give a real answer. She'd had so many feelings on the matter at the time, and she'd had plenty of time to sort them out, but she couldn't express them.

"I don't know. I think it was a lot of things. I grew up a little. And when I realized what you all really were I started feeling out of place, I think."

Loki shook his head, and held her hand between his. "You were never out of place."

"How can you say that now? Look at you! What about Yamino-san? And Narugami-kun! They haven't aged at all either have they? None of you have changed but I…I…look at me!" Mayura felt her eyes blur. She was frustrated at her inability to answer his question satisfactorily, and her tears only frustrated her further, making her cry harder. God! She was ninety, not some teenager. It was his fault she was like this, she was sure of it. He made her feel so naïve. "Did you expect me to be there forever? To never change, like you? To never figure out what you really were? Isn't that selfish?"

"I stayed for you."

She just couldn't meet his eyes now. She felt guilty, and remorseful, and she hated it. Why was he doing this? Making her regret her actions now. It was the right choice, wasn't it? She never would have fit with them, right?

"I was so happy. I thought I'd lost you, but you came back and I was so happy. But after a few days it began to come back to me, that I didn't know anything about you. And the more I thought about, the more I noticed it was like you didn't want me to know more about you. Whenever something really mysterious would happen, I was out of it and you wouldn't tell me. And I kept thinking about it, and I thought of how much little Loki-kun was like the strange man in the park. And there were just so many things that started to fall into place. It took a while but I got it.
"And you lied to me! You never told me. More and more, I felt like a joke or a pet. Like I was just there to amuse you. It felt like no one took me seriously enough to tell anything really important. It hurt. And it just kept hurting more and more every day until I just had to get away. I didn't want to feel that way anymore."

Loki was shocked that she felt that way. He could only remember Mayura as being bubbly and oblivious, and exuberant. She had never shown any sign of the hurt she professed to feel. He had never told her he was a god, of course, but there was no easy way to do that. If she had asked he would have told her everything, right? It had been for her protection, but somehow he'd hurt her anyway.

"Mayura. I didn't mean to…" he started but she shook her head.

"That was a long time ago, Loki. It doesn't hurt any more. I think I understand you a little now, even, but at the time it hurt so much."

"Did you miss us?"

"All the time, at first. Then less and less. But I would always have days where I was cooking dinner, or trying to fall asleep, and then you'd pop into my head again. I could never forget you."

"I couldn't forget you." He whispered. "At first we thought you'd just gone off to college. That you were busy but that you'd still visit. But then it had been a month and you didn't come. I went to your home, but your father told me you'd gone. He wouldn't tell me where. I searched for you for years, but I couldn't find you. That was embarrassing, you know? A detective who couldn't fine one of the people closest to him? When I finally tracked you down…it was your wedding day. I couldn't confront you then. I went home. I always wondered what happened, but I was scared to find out."

"That was so long ago."

"It doesn't feel long at all to me."

"I suppose it wouldn't."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, he still holding her hand, lost in the past. They sat and wondered what would have happened if they had done things differently. They relived their memories of each other, and little bits of doubt nagged at them. Finally, Mayura put her free hand on Loki's shoulder and looked into eyes. She didn't want to feel this way now. This was their last time together, she knew, and she wanted it to be happy. She wanted him to be happy for her. Loki could see it in her eyes, and tried to think a way to ease the tension they had caused.

"Tell me about your life."

So she did. This story wasn't like the chaotic tales she'd told her children in the past. It was, in fact, positively normal and adventure free. After high school, she had opted out of college, partly because she knew she'd never make it, but mostly because nobody would take her with her high school grades. Instead she wound up as a secretary for one of the mystery magazines she loved reading so much. Mayura had been slightly disappointed over the lack of truth to a lot of the articles, but enjoyed her job anyway. She'd met her husband there. He was a photographer. They had been arguing over the authenticity of one of his UFO pictures he'd taken. It was true she'd never had another strange mystery event in her life, but after Nana, it seemed less important. She was content with her family. She had cared for them, first her daughter, then her grandchildren while her daughter studied abroad, and worked. Nana had become a translator for a major company in the US. She was so proud of them.

And he listened to it all. He asked her questions, making her run through every day, never making her feel she had missed out. He was genuinely interested in what she'd made of herself. Through her story he sat and listened, like she was Scheherazade. Her doubts and fears ebbed away.

"What happened to your husband?" he asked, as she finished.

"Dead. Ten years ago."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not really sad anymore. We were together a long time. But now…"

"Mayura."

"I've been a little lonely since he died." She whispered.

Loki pulled her into his arms, stroking her hair. It was comforting. A tiny piece of her bristled at being treated like a little girl, but she still welcomed the affection. And that inner child he brought out was dancing for joy that he would hold her so close. She nestled her face into his shoulder, wanting to remember how it felt.

"You're not alone, Mayura."

"No. I know. Thank you, Loki. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't…" Mayura buried her face further into the crook of his neck and sighed. Conflicted feelings welled up in her. She had so much to say, but at the same time she would be content with any silence between. It seemed that words mattered less and less. "I'm sorry. How did you find me this time?"

"Skuld. She told me you were…"

Dying.

"I see." For a moment she thought she would cry again, but then she smiled up at him. "Are you here to take me?"

"Excuse me?"

"To take me…to wherever we go when we die?"

"No. I'm just here to say good-bye."

"Oh. I'm glad. I'm really glad I get to say good-bye to you. I think I would regret not getting to do that."

"Mayura. I-"

"Loki-kun is so warm. Could you please just hold me? Just for a moment."

He did as she asked, adjusting their position to me more comfortable for her. Mayura wrapped her arms around his neck, and Loki held her at the waist, carefully resting his chin on her head. He had come to say good-bye, and he was glad he'd had the chance to do so. She had finally closed a chapter of her life she'd never quite finished. Perhaps there was more between them than that, but it was too late for it, and both resigned themselves to just these last few moments. Her arms tightened around his neck for moment and she whispered in his ear.

"Good bye, Loki. Thank you."

He could feel it as her breath fell still, and her heart stopped beating. Her arms went slack. Loki's chest tightened. She was gone. Forever. And now it seemed like she had only been there for a blink of an eye. What was two years to a god? But she was mortal. What would ten years, or twenty, or even eighty have been? Not nearly enough. But now…too late now. Loki placed a small kiss on her forehead.

"Forever is a long time. Good bye Mayura. You'll be missed dearly."

"Grandma?"

Arisu knocked on the door to her grandmother's room. She was worried. Recently, Mayura has stopped eating, always smiling and saying she had no appetite when she or her mother came to take the plates away. It worried her. How would her grandma stay healthy if she never ate? She had to stay and see her great-grandchildren. Arisu put her hand to her swelling stomach. Any day now. Her grandmother had always been a comforting presence in the house. When Arisu was young, Gramma was who you went to when your parents were angry with you. Gramma is who you went to for cake and tea. Gramma was who you went to for a story. A good story, one without the obvious moral. Just pure mischief and adventure. She didn't think she could ever do the stories justice.

There was no answer at the door, so Arisu let herself in quietly. Grandmother Mayura was in bed, as usually these days, with her eyes closed. Sleeping. But even as she thought it, Arisu knew it wasn't right. Her grandmother's room was immaculate, exactly as it had been when Arisu had gone to check on Mayura hours before. But there was something different. Was it colder? And grandmother was so still. Too still…

"Grandma?"

In the night sky, high up above, the stars twinkled down a little brighter than normal, as if trying to catch the ending to a favorite story.

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Author's Notes: Oh, bleh. I need to learn to write humor. This is too heavy. I hate angst. But still. When I was watching the MaLoRa anime, through my mind I kept thinking, "Mayura is Sigyn! Mayura is Sigyn! Mayura is soooo Sigyn!" Imagine my surprise when I started reading fan fiction and finding I wasn't the only one who thought so! *laughs* So I didn't want to write that. I need to be stubbornly different. I was all set to do it too (I have the fic on my hard-drive to prove it), but I think this is more natural. Well, kind of. Can you imagine Mayura at 90? I can't. I think she's so reckless she wouldn't live that long. ^^; But I kind of wanted to write dialogue between a mature Mayura and Loki. And I wanted to create a little bit of romantic atmosphere, but not overtly sexual. Did it work? I don't know. I hope so. ^^;

Oh, and there's really no meaning behind the names of Mayura's family. I just like Arisu and Nana. I thought of trying to do something in-jokey, like Nadeshiko, but I'm not sure I'm clever enough. ;_;

Next I want to write something cute and creepy, like the atmosphere of the show. That's why we love it in the first place, right? And of course with an actual strange mystery. But I'm rubbish at long fics. I don't know if I could do it. But I can try!

-Merore