Oh, writer's block; oh writer's block, how could you be so mean…?

I have intense writer's block right now. It's driving me nuts…I have nothing to do and I can't even write! *wails*


Sorry for the long time before I updated -^_^-

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February 8th

Sonomi stared up at the ceiling. She was exhausted, yet couldn't fall asleep. It was late, she had no clue what time it was. Yet sleep eluded her. Kietsu had worn her out. The little girl was a bundle of energy. She had thought the evening would be a piece of cake. How late could a two-year-old stay up?

She had sorely underestimated the child of Kamatari and Gesshoku.

Kietsu wanted to play with every single toy she owned in turn and dragged Sonomi through the whole house. She gave her a tour of the springs, pointing out her favorite places, her father's favorite places, her mother's favorite places…She had wanted a bath, which Sonomi flat out refused, wanted snacks, drinks, games and stories.

The whole evening had been nothing but "Mi; Mi! C'mere, Mi! Lookit this!" and Kietsu running back and forth, bringing things to her, showing her things.

It was around ten-thirty when she finally convinced Kietsu it was time for bed. At this point, she was ready to fall asleep standing up and wanted to get the girl to sleep. Where could a little kid possibly get so much energy?

She helped the little girl change her clothes and get ready for bed. Then she tucked her in, covering her with several blankets, finding her stuffed kitsune. Kietsu snuggled up, comfortable in her little Western bed, hugging the stuffed toy, and asked for another story.

Sonomi thought hard, trying to figure out a good story to tell the little girl. A grin crossed her face as she recalled all of their escapades from back before Kamatari and Gessho were married. So she began spinning a tail of all kinds of things the five had experienced, the child listening with interest.

After Kietsu finally fell asleep, Sonomi dragged herself down the hall to her own room and flopped down into bed. She was so tired she didn't even bother changing her clothes. She lay they, staring into the darkness, wondering where in hell Kamatari and Gessho found the energy to take care of that wild child every day.

The sandman avoided her that night.

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Harusame woke sometime early in the morning. The sky was gray and the air in the room chilly. She snuggled back down under the blankets and deeper into Sojiro's arms. She was comfortable there; it felt natural to be held by him. He was still sleeping, holding her close, his breathing deep and shallow.

She lay there, thinking about her relationship with Sojiro. She thought of him and all the years they'd spent together and she smiled to herself. Life was going well. Sure, they'd had some crazy adventures, but things always worked out. She wondered if he would ever be brave enough to ask her to marry him and what she would say if he did.

What would I tell him? I do love him so much…But get married? I don't know…It would hurt him a lot if I said "no" but what if I say yes and it turns out to be a big mistake? What if our marriage is a total disaster? Not everybody can have happy endings like Gessho and Kamatari.

What if it's better that we're just friends?

And what if I'm being silly?

She sighed. Sojiro hadn't even proposed to her yet and she was a nervous wreck. That was not a good thing.

Her thoughts drifted back to the previous night. He had kissed her under the moonlight, causing her to blush like mad. Why can't I get over my shyness? Why am I such a big baby? She sighed a second time. This is so complicated…

Sojiro says he loves me. But love…Love's such an old fashioned word. The way people think about it…It's not all romance and candle-light and roses. Sometimes it hurts so much…And sometimes it's so confusing. I mean, look at Gessho…She was in love with Kamatari for so long and he thought he was a woman. That must've been so hard on her.

And Sou…he's got a lot to deal with of his own. All of that crap Shishio fed him must still be rotting in the back of his brain. He is different now from when I first met him, but he's still suffering. Even if his smiles are real now…Even if he doesn't hide behind them…Shishio still lurks in his mind.

…How do I get rid of him?

She twisted around in his arms, turning to face him. His dark hair fell lightly across his forehead and a smile was on his face. He looked so positively genki when he slept. If only he could be like that all the time…Poor Sojiro had lost his innocence when he was no more than a child and had struggled for a long time to get it back.

She wanted to be the one to put the light into his eyes.

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Gessho stretched and yawned.

It was late morning and she felt lazy for having slept in so long, but she had been tired after a busy day. Kamatari was flittering around the room, searching for his clothes. She propped herself up on one elbow, watching as he moved around. It was odd to wake up to the bed beside her empty; she was used to being underneath him when she woke.

She flopped back down on the bed, stretching a second time. Cold weather made all her joints stiff and the bedroom had potential to get chilly. She ran her fingers through her hair, then her hand traveled down to her waist. She rubbed her belly, wondering what kind of child this baby would be. Kietsu was boisterous and carefree. She was so much like her father…But would this baby be different? She herself had tendencies to be quiet and withdrawn at times, like Nisshoku. Maybe this child would be more like that…

But did she want a child like that? Nissho was difficult and overbearing…She was cold and stand-offish. What would she do with a child like her sister? A frown crossed her face. Eh, I'm worrying before I even have any cause to worry…

"Oh, you're awake. Morning, Darling." Kamatari smiled at her as she fumbled around for her glasses. He was wearing an extra long-sleeved shirt under his gi; it was positively frigid that morning.

She slid her glasses on and watched him as he combed his short hair. "Ohayo." She yawned. Rising to a sitting position, one of the blankets slid off her shoulders. She shivered. "It's freezing in here." She drew the blanket back up; it still retained some of the warmth from her body as she slept.

"It's freezing outside as well. You'd better dress warmly. I don't want you getting sick." He pulled his haori on over his gi, wrapping it tightly around himself. Then he crossed the room to her, sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling, Koishii?"

She made a face. "I'm fine. We're not going to go through all of this again, are we?" She distinctly remembered how he had hovered over her while she was pregnant with Kietsu; how overprotective he'd been. It had driven her mad; she was so used to taking care of herself.

"Oh, let me have my fun." He grinned puckishly, his voice sassy and full of amusement. His eyes sparkled and she thumped him on the arm.

"Torture, you mean. Fun at my expense. I don't enjoy it at all." She turned away, her arms folded across her chest.

He pouted a little. "I just love you, that's all. I don't want to see anything bad happen to another person I love."

Another person I love…He means Shishio. Her heart cried for him. Would he ever get over his loss? She was patient -heaven knows she was patient- but she couldn't go one forever with him living in the past like that. It was killing her slowly. She looked back at him. "Nothing bad will happen to me. Nothing bad happened with Kietsu, did it?"

A light frown crossed his face. "Darling, I can't help but worry. What would I do without you in my life? There would be nothing for me; nothing at all. How would I take care of Kietsu alone? I need you by my side. I can't do it alone." He stroked her cheek, his fingers cold, yet loving and warm.

She smiled softly, responding to his touch by leaning into the caress. He did have her best interest in mind, after all. She was glad he was so attentive. He was the kind of person who put his whole heart and soul into anything he did. "I would never leave you alone. I wouldn't leave you for anything. And I would never leave Kietsu."

Right on cue, the little girl tore into the room. She clambered up onto the bed, crawling into her mother's lap to share the blanket. "It's cold." She chattered.


"Of course it's cold, Sweetness." Her father told her fondly, "Didn't you see all the snow?"

She frowned at him, her brown eyes full of tears. "Snow is bad! It means Oba-san won't come home." She reminded him.

"So it does, Little Lady. But I'm sure Nisshoku will try her best to get here to see you." He said softly, wondering if Nissho had planned on coming home at all, "Did you have fun with Sonomi last night?" He smoothly changed the subject.

"Hai!" Kietsu nodded cheerfully up at him from where she sat in her mama's arms, "We played and she told me stories!"

"Oh? What kind of stories?" He tipped his head to one side, regarding his daughter.

"Stories 'bout you an' Mama!" She laughed, "You got stoled by the sake man!"

A blush crossed Kamatari's face at the mention of Seijiro Hiko the 13th kidnapping him for sake money. He had hoped that story would never leak out to the general public because it was embarrassing. But then, Sonomi had never cared if she embarrassed other people or not.

Kietsu snuggled up to her mother, trying to get warm. It had been cold in her bedroom that morning and she was all shivery. Her mama was so warm there in all those blankets…She looked up at Gessho, taking in her serene expression. Something was…different…about her. She looked different. Same hair, same eyes, nose and mouth, but nonetheless, something about her was different.

The little girl's gaze shifted downward. Mama's lap seemed softer than usual. Maybe it was because of the blankets…Kietsu shrugged, cuddling up in Gessho's arms. "Almost my birthday." She reminded her.

"Yes, Little One, it is." Her mother nodded in agreement, "You're growing up so fast. I remember when you were a tiny baby."

"Mama, why dun you an' Papa have another baby? I wanna sister like Aoi." The girl said matter-of-factly, "It's boring here an' I have no one to play with."

Kamatari opened his mouth to tell her, but Gesshoku cut him off with a warning glance. Then she looked back at their daughter. "You want a sister, Kietsu? Is that what you want?"

"Yup! That's what I want fer my birthday!" She nodded to confirm this, "I wanna sister."

Her parents grinned at one another. Kamatari now understood. Gessho wanted to wait to tell her…It would be a birthday present for the child. Oh, Kietsu would be so happy with that…

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Sojiro woke to find Harusame with her face pressed up against his chest. She was snuggled next to him, her arms around him. He blushed lightly, happy that she was so close to him. Her body radiated warmth and love. He felt a million emotions rushing through his body, causing his spine to tingle.

"I love you…" He whispered.

She shifted in his arms, mumbling something incomprehensible, her dark brown eyes blinking open. "You say something, Sou…?" She yawned.

"Oh, no." He smiled cutely, "Nothing at all." No new bravery. He had used it up the night before.…Maybe later. He wanted to tell her so badly just how much it was he loved her, but he was far too shy. Instead, he released her from his grasp and crawled out of bed.

His bare feet hit the cold floor and he shivered. "It's pretty cold today." He told her, glancing over his shoulder, "I have an idea we'll be spending the day inside drinking tea."

She smiled at him. That didn't sound so bad. Maybe they could talk…Maybe they would both feel courageous and maybe…

Maybe he would finally propose.

Just maybe.

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Geez, this took me FOREVER, didn't it?? I'm soooooooo sorry! I've had terrible writer's block and only got over it today . I don't know when I'll next update; tomorrow will be busy and Sunday I'm moving back into my dorm.

Been getting lots of good Pink Floyd from Drew…I have some of the best songs now! Make sure you check out the link to my fanart posted at deviantART; some of it was inspired by Pink Floyd! ^^v