"Oh my god," said AI, "we have to go find the captain before its too late!"
"What's going on, TELL MEEEEEEEEEE! TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME!" the Chief began to cry.
"Hush, I'll tell you when we get there, so don't worry."
"Okay, *sniff*"
"Good boy, here is some weed, smoke it later, okay?
"Kay! Thanks!"
"Now, we are going to go to a swamp like place, and I want you to kill everything, kay?"
The Chief nodded vigorously, "hey can the other Chief come, PLEASE?
"No"
"Yes"
"No"
"Yes"
"No"
"Yes"
"No"
"Yes"
"Yes"
"No"
"Yes"
"No" "Yes"
"No" "Yes"
"No" "Yes"
"No"
"Fine!"
"FINE! He doesn't come, and that's final," Chief said.

The Swamp place

The Chief got off the pelican and started to run forward, he saw some really weird/scary aliens and shot them, screamin' "I WANT TO SMOKE MY WEED, AND I CANT UNTILL I KILL YOU LITTLE BASTERDS!"
He still ran screaming "I WANT TO SMOKE MY WEED, AND I CANT UNTILL I KILL YOU LITTLE BASTERDS!"
Then he saw that there was a building in front of him, "hey maybe I should go in there?" he wondered. So he went in their and all this creepy stuff happened.
He saw a guy and said, "Hey, you wanna smoke WEED!?!" and he goes:
"Yeah sure!"
And they smoked. After they where done the guy went all krazy and started to say stuff like: "you wont get me, you wont get ME!" and started to shoot him.
So the chief pulled out a flamethrower (exclusive, to the PC, Basterds!) and torched the guy. Then the flamethrower turned into a duck, witch ate the Chief, and crapped him out as a ninja, and I'm

Starting

To

Get

A

Cramp

Ok better.

The Chief came across a helmet; he put it on, and took it off twenty minutes later a whole lot happier, and wetter (NOT for you little sister, the little dickens!).
Then came the flood, and the chief ran, screaming like a little girl.