Chapter 5: Lies And Confessions
Haruka asked Michiru to sit down in the living room, the aqua haired woman accepting gladly, while she made her way into the kitchen and opened the fridge. "Do you want something to drink?" the blonde called over to where Michiru sat, giving her best to sound as normal and calm as possible. It was hard for her to keep the shaking out of her voice. "No, thanks." Michiru replied politely, but what she said next wasn't so respectfully. "Do you?" Harukas hand, which had been reaching for a can of coke, froze in mid-air. The blonde turned her head to look at her guest, her eyes filled with anger for a few seconds…before the anger vanished and was replaced with dull shame. "Yes." She admitted while taking the can out of the fridge and tearing it open, taking a big gulp from it before kicking the freezer's door close and walking over into the living room where Michiru sat on the couch, letting herself fall into one of the chairs and looking at the aqua haired social worker. "I'm not just wanting a drink, I'm craving for one." Michiru nodded, as if she knew what Haruka meant with that, folding her hands in her lap. "This craving, like you call it, will be over soon, Haruka. Then it will get easier for you with every day you pass…if you don't drink anymore that is. No alcohol at all, not even beer or champagne. A single glass will be enough to throw back into the life you were living until you decided to stop drinking." "Why are you telling me all of this?" Haruka asked bluntly, taking another sip from her coke, silently wishing that it was mixed with whiskey. "Because you are what I call a Special Case, Haruka." Michiru answered, leaning back into the cushion of the couch. "A Special Case, eh?" Haruka repeated, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "How come?" "You are in more danger of having a relapse than the other people who are part of our program." Michiru explained, holding the blondes gaze with her own. It was the first time that she noticed how beautiful Harukas eyes were. They were of a rich, teal colour, and although all about Haruka – her body language, her voice and her movements – seemed to show a beaten, defeated woman, her eyes told something else. They said that Haruka still was tough and strong, no matter how miserable she felt or how hard things would get. The blondes eyes told Michiru that the person opposite of her didn't give up, no matter what crossed her path. "Why?" Haruka now asked, leaning forward – probably her way of showing interest, the social worker decided. "Because you are lonely." Michiru softly replied, and suddenly the strong expression vanished from Harukas eyes, only to be replaced with something that looked like shock. "Lonely?" she stammered out, staring at the aqua haired woman with disbelief. "Yes, lonely." Michiru repeated, already feeling sorry for Haruka. She knew what she had to do next – show the woman how friendless she actually was – but she also knew that it was another step in the program, and therefore necessary. "Think about it, Haruka. How many close friends do you have?" Haruka opened her mouth to answer, then closed it again after a few moments. She racked her brain to come up with the name of someone she would call a close friend, but nothing came out. "None." She finally softly replied, her gaze falling away from the aqua haired woman's face and on the carpet. "A girlfriend?" Michiru now asked, making Haruka wonder for one second how on earth the woman had found out that she was gay – before the answer became clear to her. Of course Takeshi had told her. She silently shook her head, suddenly finding herself unable to talk – the thick lump that seemed to appear in her throat more and more was there again. Please, God, don't make her ask about my family. She suddenly thought to herself, her heart clenching itself together at the sheer thought of talking about what other people called family, but she only called "a bunch of dickheads". But of course, Michiru asked. "And family?" "I don't have a family. They died." Haruka mumbled, not looking up. Michiru immediately knew that the blonde was lying; she wanted her to believe that her family was dead, but for some reason the aqua haired woman was convinced that this wasn't the truth. During the years she had worked for the AA, she had met a lot of people who had tried to lie to her, and by now, she had some kind of sixth sense when it came to feeling if somebody was telling the truth or not. She decided that she wouldn't confront Haruka about her lie though; the time for asking about her family again would come, but not yet. "You're right." Haruka now softly spoke, making the aqua haired woman snap out of her thoughts and look at the blonde again. "I'm lonely…I never realized how much." Slowly, Michiru reached out and gently took one of Harukas hands into hers. The blonde flinched visibly at the contact, her eyes not just looking up – they shot up, filled with so much fear that Michiru nearly shrank back from her. She looks as if I'm about to hit her. The aqua haired woman thought to herself Maybe she was hit a lot when she was younger. Maybe that's why she lies about her family and says that they are dead. The voice Michiru always called her "Sherlock-Holmes-Voice" spoke up, making Michiru wonder if this could be the reason for all of this – for Harukas drinking habits as well as for the scared look in her eyes. "I won't hurt you." she now softly spoke, saying the words not just because she had planned to do so, but more likely out of a strange impulse. The scared look vanished from Harukas eyes – not completely, but at least she didn't look like a deer caught in the headlights of an approaching car anymore. The slight fear that still was there though vanished within two seconds, only to be replaced with the usual hardness. "I never thought you would." Haruka replied, harshly pulling her hand out of Michirus grasp. And that's the second lie for today. The Sherlock-Holmes-Voice spoke in Michirus mind. For one second, she was sure that you would, and she knows that you know. "Good." The aqua haired woman replied, knowing that if she would confront Haruka with the fact that she had lied to her now, she would be lost forever – and not just for the program. The blonde had to trust her first, then they both could think about the best way to get her away from the booze. "What I want to know, Haruka…do you have any alcohol here? In your apartment?" Haruka shook her head, with Michiru knowing that she wasn't lying this time. "No. I got rid of all of it earlier today." She replied, letting out a small sigh afterwards. "And right now, I wish I wouldn't have done that. I never needed a drink more than now." She admitted, looking away from Michirus face again and down on her feet. "I know, Haruka. But you'll get over that want…I'm sure you will." Haruka let out a small snort and looked back up to the social worker again. "How would you know? You have no clue of how hard it is to wake up with your hands shaking like crazy and with your body practically screaming for whiskey." She replied harshly. Michiru just looked at her calmly for a few moments before she replied, and what she said was the first thing that touched Haruka. "Oh yes, I do have a clue, Haruka. I was an alcoholic myself five years ago."