Sirius's Funeral
Harry woke up with a pounding headache. He yawned as he looked over to see Lupin fast asleep in a chair next to him. What happened last night? Harry wondered as he scanned the room to also see Madam Pomfrey asleep on the floor. Harry put on his glasses and got up from the couch. He felt light headed as he made his was around Dumbledore's office trying to recall what happened to him last night. He couldn't remember anything. Did I even get the charm put on me? Harry wondered. He couldn't stop yawning and felt like half of his brain was missing. Sirius what happened last night?
Harry it's better if you don't know. A voice responded. Harry reached up and touched his scar, why isn't it burning? The charm must have worked! Harry thought happily as he went over to Lupin to wake him up.
"Lupin, the charm worked!" Harry screamed.
"Wha- Harry? Oh that's great." Lupin responded in a different tone than usual.
"Man but I have such a headache, I can't remember anything from last night." Harry explained to him.
"Oh you don't do you?"
"No, why what happened?"
"Is our young Harry awake?" Came a voice traveling down his office stairs to meet them.
"Dumbledore! The charm worked! My scar, it doesn't burn!" Harry ran up to him feeling happier than usual.
"Well I supposed it would, seeing how much anger was kept inside of you. Harry last night you—"
"What do you mean I kept so much anger built up inside of me Professor?" Harry interrupted.
"Well the charm works in a way of releasing all of the tension and anger built up inside of you by using very strong words I might add. So everything you were thinking that was being held up over you was released for us all to hear Harry. But don't worry, nothing you said is going to be held against you."
"Dumbledore, what did I exactly say?" Harry wondered, not wanting to really know the answer as he looked over at Lupin to see a sad look on his face.
"Harry, think of all of the things that were upsetting you, that is what you put into words and barked at us all. Now I might ask you, to repeat what you said about Serveus."
"What did I say about Serveus?" Asked Harry hoping he hadn't said anything too nasty.
"Well you said something about a meeting you two had and if you told me something he told you, then he would give you to Voldemort. Now Harry, what is it that he didn't want you to tell me?" Harry just looked up at Dumbledore not knowing whether he should tell him or not. "Harry…"
"Well he's a death eater, he still is from before, he always has been, and – and Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyal, they- they're death eaters too." Harry tried to explain.
"Well you didn't say anything about Malfoy—"
"Nothing? How could I not, he's my biggest rival!"
"Harry may I ask you not to interrupt me, oh Madam Pomfrey, how nice of you to join us." Said Dumbledore noticing Poppy getting herself up from the floor. "Anyways, you're sure that Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyal are death eaters? I mean they seem a bit young to be –"
"But aren't I a bit young to be the one who has to defeat Voldemort?" Harry put in.
"Harry you can't fight fate, and Serveus, you're sure—"
"Dumbledore you can extract that memory from me and put it in the Pensive, I'm sure. Please don't tell Snape I told you, or he's going to – to bring me to Voldemort. Voldemort's gotten much stronger than he was before, I don't know if I'm going to be able to beat him Dumbledore."
"Harry, you will, when the time comes, not now, but in time. You have many wizards powers put in with yours, including Voldemort himself. Now that Voldemort is blocked from your thoughts for the time being, you can think freely, and get through your classes easier."
"Professor, what do you mean, 'for the time being'?"
"Voldemort is, as you say, stronger, he will find a way to break that charm put on you. And when he does-" Dumbledore added to see the look on Harry's face, "-we will deal with the problem then."
"What are you going to do about Snape?"
"Well since I can't approach him, and since he knows too much about this school and my ways, then we should go on as if it never happened. Pretend you haven't told me anything, until I figure out a way to deal with this situation." Dumbledore told Harry.
"Now Poppy, can I speak with you in my office?"
"Of course Headmaster." Said Madam Pomfrey as she followed Dumbledore up the stairs to his main office.
"Lupin I-" Harry started.
"No Harry, you're right, everything you said is right."
"But I don't remember what I said."
"Harry, when I found out you were born, I only got to see you once, I didn't know why at the time, but when I taught here, I found out that they thought me as the spy. When I held you, I felt something I never had before. I can't explain it. And last night you said you were supposed to have a little sister, Harry, I- you, you're definitely going through too much at your age. You've suffered more in your sixteen years of life than others have suffered in sixty or seventy years of their lives. I'm not going to hold you up to anything from last night, you deserved to get it off your chest."
"But Lupin, what did I say?"
"You don't need to worry about it." Said Lupin now standing up out of his chair as if motioning to leave.
"Lupin, please don't go. I-I don't want you to end up like Sirius, or my parents…" Harry forced out, "And that's how I truly feel about that." Harry added trying to scratch away anything bad he said about Lupin last night. This must've hit Lupin deep because he stopped in his tracks and just turned around to face Harry. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but no words came to his mouth.
"Lupin, if I don't have you anymore, than I don't have anyone left for a memory of my dad. I never knew what he was like, I never got to hear any of his Hogwarts stories, I never got to do much with him at all. I didn't even know him a year." Harry told Lupin feeling that he held off his feelings to Sirius in the past, and look what happened to him. Harry didn't want any regrets this time. He decided to tell Lupin of the dreams he's been having, and of the woman's scream he's been hearing, which he thinks belongs to Mrs. Weasly. Lupin just stood there and listened to all of this. Harry felt different now, he felt older, more mature, ready for anything at this moment.
"Harry, I have to fight. It's my job."
"But you're not going to be the one it comes down to with Voldemort, I am. So what's the point of fighting him now if it's not going to matter later?"
"Harry, we are all fighting to protect you. If we aren't fighting, and Voldemort finishes you off when you are not ready to fight, then everyone in the world has no future. So it's up to us to stall time for you."
"Everyone else can do it Lupin, please, not you." Harry's words were really hitting Lupin hard and Harry could tell that if he just pushed a little bit more…
"Harry, I'm sorry, but I have to fight, for you. Please don't make this any harder. Just really work hard in school Harry. Oh yea, during the time we put the charm on you, we discussed that the funeral should be held as quickly as possible while the charm is still working. Tomorrow Harry. Tomorrow is the funeral for Sirius, even though he's not really gone, he's with you." Harry's face looked grave. And Lupin walked up to him and went up to his hair and messed it up even more than it was and said, "Lighten up their buddy."
"Lighten up? How can I Lupin? How can I when my life is the way it is?"
"Harry, I lost him too you know, and I knew him much longer, basically my whole life. He was always there for me, in school, in adult hood after Azkaban. And your parents, James, he was also one of my best friends Harry. You have to understand I lost these people after having a whole childhood with them. And Peter, it disgusts me how much I shared with him as a kid. Good for nothing… I wished me and Sirius killed him when we had the chance, none of this would've happened. And it's not your fault either; you did what your father would've done. Harry it scares me how much you're like him. I almost call you James all the time. So please, try to live life to its fullest no matter how bad it seems. That's why I have to fight. I can't sit around and think what could've been." Harry then understood what Lupin was trying to explain to him. Harry nodded and Lupin pulled Harry into a one armed hug, "Harry if I wasn't a werewolf I would ask you to live with me. But I don't want to put you in any more danger than you are already in, plus the Order is my home now, except for once a month I might add." He laughed at this and Harry forced one out with him. "I'll see you tomorrow kid." Lupin pulled away and made his way down the spiral stairs and past the guarding Gargoyles. Harry didn't know whether to stay and wait for Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey, or go and enjoy the rest of his day without Voldemort while he could. Harry decided to leave and he ran all the way to the Gryffindor tower. He just wanted to talk with Hermione and Ron. Harry made it up to the Gryffindor common room and burst through to see Hermione and Ron sitting by the fire.
"Ron! Hermione! He's gone! Voldemort's gone!"
"Harry! What? What do you mean he's gone?" Hermione wondered.
"Well not physically, but he's not reading me anymore, Dumbledore and Professor Flitwick did some kind of charm on me, so Voldemort can't read me for the time being." Harry explained to them everything that's been happening to him the past week from Snape, to his visions, to Occlumency lessons, and how Sirius is with him, everything. He finished by telling them what was going to be happening tomorrow. "And tomorrow… tomorrow, is – is his funeral, Sirius's." Harry said softly.
"Harry, don't worry about it too much, I mean you said it yourself, Sirius is a part of you." Hermione tried to convince Harry.
"I know, but still, it's just so hard, and Lupin…" Harry told them of the talk him and Lupin just had.
"Well Harry, Lupin is right you know. And getting back to Snape and Malfoy! Death eaters!" Hermione screamed.
"I know Harry! Finally we are able to prove that Snape never did turn good, that cheating good for nothing…"
"Ron! Don't say those kinds of words! Anyways Harry, so how do you feel?" Hermione wondered.
"Well my headache went away, and I feel, I feel relaxed. I haven't felt this way in so long. I feel ready to produce the best Patronous ever!" Harry joked.
"Well Moody dismissed our class after your incident. But the class was so freaked out, so were Ron and I. That was THE Voldemort talking to us. The one we had learned and heard about for all of the years of our life and we actually heard him." Hermione told Harry. "I think everyone's going to definitely view you in a new perspective Harry. They hear what you do, but they've never really witnessed how you do it, or what you go through until yesterday."
"Yeah well, it sucks I can tell them that much." Harry laughed.
"Harry it's not funny!"
"Oh Hermione lighten up." Said Ron now joining in with Harry.
"Ron, want to go and fly around?" Harry asked him. "I want to really go free!"
"Yeah, lets go get our brooms!"
"Hermione you can come if you'd like too." Harry put in.
"That's alright, I've got Arithmacy to study for, and if we have Sirius's funeral tomorrow I'd like to have all of my work done." Hermione told them.
"Suit yourself!" Sad Ron running up the stairs to the dormitory to get his broomstick. Harry followed.
Then they started to run out of the school to the Quidditch field. Harry mounted his broom and took off as soon as he made it outside and past Sir Nicholas. Harry flew around in the air, and he could feel the breeze flowing through his hair. His mother's song was going through his head and he looked up and could've sworn he saw her face in the clouds. Harry smiled up in the sky as he started to swirl around on his broomstick and go 150 miles per hour. Harry felt the best he had since his first Quidditch game. You fly just like your father, Harry. Came another familiar voice. Harry then stopped abruptly and saw that Ron was nowhere in sight. Then Harry looked behind him and saw that Ron was just catching up with Harry for Harry's broom was much faster than Ron's.
"Harry don't go so fast."
"Sorry Ron. I can't help it." Harry then took off again and flew around the Quidditch field a ton of times. He loved flying on his broomstick. Perfect cure! Until tomorrow…
Harry got up and put on some black clothes. They were big on Harry from them once being owned by Dudley. Ron was up and getting ready himself. When they were both ready, Ron went,
"Come on Harry, Hermione's probably waiting in the common room for us." Harry nodded feeling extremely upset as he followed Ron down the spiral stairs. Hermione was standing there looking as upset as Harry felt. They all looked at each other, and then at the fire where Sirius had talked to them through in the past.
"Well are you all ready?" Came Minerva's voice as she came into the Gryffindor common room. Professor McGonagall had only come into the Gryffindor common room twice that Harry could remember. Once in his second year to tell them about the new rules regarding the Chamber of Secrets, and another time in his third year when he had gotten his firebolt and she thought it could be cursed by Sirius who they thought was after Harry at the time.
All three of them nodded at Professor McGonagall and they all left the Gryffindor tower and made their way to Dumbledore's office.
"Harry could I speak with you a second, Hermione, Ron you can go up. Chocolate mint." Professor McGonagall said and Hermione and Ron made their way up to Dumbledore's office. Harry had forgotten to tell Hermione and Ron that Minerva was his Godmother.
"Harry, about the whole Godmother situation—"
"Professor, I understand, you don't need to explain yourself."
"No but Harry I do, what you said last night really made me think, and I had no right to keep that from you. I thought that if I gave you a Nimbus Two-Thousand in your first year then that would be like a gift for you from your Godmother. I was planning on telling you, but I just never did."
"Professor, I really can't remember anything that happened last night so I'm sorry for whatever I said." Harry apologized wondering how many other hurtful things he said. And now thinking about his Nimbus Two-Thousand it all made sense in why she gave him the best broom of the time. Then Harry thought it was kind of funny that both of his Godparents gave him broomsticks, the best broomsticks of the time.
"Harry your mother was a very sweet woman and—"
"Was it you who sung the song yesterday?" Harry wondered.
"What song?" Minerva wondered.
"So it wasn't you?" Harry wondered.
"No Harry." Then was it my mum trying to tell me to hold on… Harry wondered.
"Well Harry lets go into Dumbledore's office, he has a Portkey in which we are going to be using to get to the graveyard." Professor McGonagall explained.
"Chocolate Mint." The Gargoyles jumped aside and let Harry and Minerva through.
The last couple years of Harry's life, he was able to keep all of his feelings inside. After the death of his godfather, things had changed. He was no longer able to let things build, and he was no longer able to not speak his mind. When he was mad or upset he would show his feelings. It's been a whole new view for Harry.
As Harry and Minerva made their way up the spiral stairs, Harry noticed that Moody was also joining them to Sirius's funeral.
"Alright, everyone going to this from Hogwarts is here, and it's about time to go. Everyone grab onto this book." Said Dumbledore seeing Minerva and Harry coming in to join the others. Harry took one corner of the blue book with his fingers, and within a couple more minutes Harry felt a jerk up from underneath his navel and felt a hard landing into a graveyard. The sun wasn't out; instead the sky was covered with dark gray clouds. Harry looked around the graveyard and saw a group of familiar people ten yards away. Harry started toward them. Everyone looked so grim and Harry saw Lupin.
"Harry, I must warn you who Sirius is buried next to—" Lupin started but Harry made his way around him and saw two joined graves standing next to Sirius's. Harry's heart froze as he read the names engraved on the stones. Harry eyes were fighting tears as the song his mum sang to him rang in his ears.
Here lies Lily Potter
Loving mother and wife. Ended
Bravely in trying to keep her son
Alive from Lord Voldemort. She
Was very caring and devoted.
RIP
Here lies James Potter
Loving father and husband. Passed
Bravely in trying to give time for his
Wife and son to escape Lord Volde
-mort. One of the brightest wizards
Of his time.
RIP
Harry had never thought to visit his parents' grave before. Harry never really thought about it. Now that he was reading the gravestones a huge lump formed in Harry's throat as he tried not to let his emotions out. Harry dared turned his head to face Sirius's grave, which lay next to his father's.
Here lies Sirius Black
Loving Godfather and best friend
Died in protection for his Godson
Against his cousin, a death eater.
One of the brightest wizards of his
Time.
RIP
Harry couldn't help the silent tears from streaming down his cheeks. Looking at all of these gravestones made him notice that all of them died in protection for him. He was the cause of all of their deaths. Harry wanted to break down, to cry all of his pain away, but he couldn't, not with everyone watching him. Harry instead knelt down to the graves and felt his bottom lip start to tremble. His eyes kept scanning the gravestones and all of the words written on them. His eyes became blurry and Harry felt it was now almost impossible to keep in his pain. Harry tried to take in deep breaths to try and calm himself but he couldn't help thinking it is all my fault, they all died in action to protect me. I did this to them. It is all my fault.
Lupin must have noticed all of the pain Harry was going through because he knelt himself beside Harry and said,
"Harry there is no need for you to be brave now. This is a very rough time for you, let it out." Harry started to sniff to keep in his tears, but Harry felt them start to erupt from his eyes as he tried to burry his face in his hands to cover his eyes; the sound started to come with the tears. Harry couldn't keep it in anymore. These were his parents and Godparent that died, he had a right to cry and be miserable in front of the others. Lupin then put his arm around Harry and Harry turned into him and put his head on his shoulder and just started to cry miserably. He couldn't hold it in as hard as he tried.
"It's alright Harry, let it out." Lupin kept saying and his voice became squeaky as though he too was fighting back tears. As Harry cried he kept saying to himself over and over again.
"It's all my fault, all my fault. I did this to them. It's all my fault, if I hadn't existed then this would've never happened to them, it's all my fault."
"Harry don't think like that, it's not your fault, it's Voldemort's. Harry you are what brought their life into a new meaning, a better meaning." Lupin comforted.
Harry now was uncontrollable with his tears and every time he tried to stop, more came. The song his mother sang to him was now playing in his ears as the memories he saw with them flashed through his mind. Then he had the replay of their last words going through him as he put it to picture to match the dead bodies he saw with Sirius beyond the veil. They were so lifeless, so cold… And then Sirius's expression when Harry had told him that he wanted to live with him on their way out of the shrieking Shack played through his mind. Then the one armed hug he had with Sirius and all the times they talked. Then Sirius's lifeless stunned face shown in Harry's mind as he tumbled backwards into the veil. Harry continued to cry and Lupin continued to comfort Harry.
Anytime you feel
Like you just can't hold on
Just hold onto my love
And I'll help you be strong
But you're so afraid to loose
And baby I can't reach your heart
I can't face this world that's keeping us apart
And I can be the one to show you
Everything you missed before
Just hold on now
'Cause I could be the one to give you more
Anytime you need love baby I'm on your side
Just let me be the one I can make it all right
Anytime you need love baby you're in my heart
I can make it all right
I look into your eyes
And I feel it coming through
I can't help but want you more that I want to
So baby take all of your fears
And cast them all on me
'Cause all I ever wanted was just to make you see
That I could be the one to give you
All you've been searching for
Just hold onto my love
And baby let me give you more
And you know that anytime you need love baby I'm on your side
Just let me the one I can make it all right
Anytime you need love baby you're in my heart
I can make it all right
Now there's no way out
And I can't help the way I feel
Cause baby you're the fire
And I'll be waiting right here
You know my love is real
Anytime you need love baby I'm on your side
Just let me be the one I can make it all right
Anytime you need love baby you're in my heart
I can make it all right…
Harry's mum's song repeated through his ears as he suddenly got strength to stop crying and dry his tears. He then got up from where he was kneeling with Lupin to see everyone looking sadly at him. Harry could feel his eyes swollen with redness as he scanned all of their faces. His eyes started swelling with tears again but he dried his eyes as he went to stand next to Ron and Hermione who were afraid to make eye contact with him. Lupin then stood up and began to speak.
"Sirius was a great man, brilliant and caring, he never gave up in what he believed in. Through our school years him and James were quite the pair. I never saw one without the other. They were always breaking rules and making others laugh. Sirius was so brilliant that he and James found out a way to become Animigus's just so I wouldn't have to be alone on my nights of transformations. He could transform into a big dog and was known in "our group" as Padfoot. James was Prongs, and Peter was Wormtail. Since I was a werewolf I was known as Moony. Sirius was always there when any of us needed him. He would put his life out there for any of us, as he showed a couple of months ago. Being James's best friend, and the best man at his wedding, he was appointed Godfather to James's and Lily's son Harry. Sirius was so happy to be Godfather; it was the best thing that ever happened to him. When I came to teach at school and saw Harry for the first time on the Hogwarts Express, I couldn't believe the spitting image of James I was seeing with Lily's eyes. Then Sirius had an all-time low of his life – his best friend and wife passed leaving Sirius very miserable and wanting to get revenge on Wormtail who Sirius had switched to be the Potters' Secret-Keeper. Wormtail turned things around when Sirius cornered him and made Sirius look like the murderer. Sirius then spent twelve long years in Azkaban when he saw the Daily Prophet article about a family who won the draw for money. On one of the boy's shoulder was none other than Wormtail, the one who we all thought was one of the ones that Sirius killed. Seeing that Wormtail was going to Hogwarts where Harry was, Sirius felt he had to break out and save him, and get revenge on Wormtail. Harry was what meant so much to Sirius, and he didn't want him put in danger from Wormtail. Sirius then escaped from Azkaban and succeeded in saving Harry, but didn't manage to get revenge on Wormtail who we all now know escaped away to bring the Dark Lord back to power. Harry now knew about Sirius and they started their lives together. One always there for the other, just like Sirius and James. Sirius now had all the meaning to his life back, he had Harry. Every time that Sirius and Harry were together they both had sparks flying between them. Perfect relationship – Godfather and Godson. Sirius loved Harry like a son, and felt sworn into protecting him, not only because he was his best friends son, but because he was his godson. Harry in turn felt Sirius as a father figure and felt he couldn't loose another father, so he would throw out his life for Sirius. Harry showed this as he saw a vision produced by Voldemort to see Sirius being tortured by Voldemort, and tried everything to go and save Sirius. The vision Harry saw and thought was real wasn't, and Harry's life and his friends' lives were now in high danger. When the Order heard of this information, instead of staying in the house where he was told to, he came with us to save the one thing in his life, which mattered most, Harry. While putting his life out to protect his Godson, Sirius was killed and fell into the veil. Dying behind the veil enables that wizard to have to choice of becoming a part of any other wizard to protect and share powers with, or they can choose to go onto the death world. Sirius of course felt his duty of protecting Harry wasn't over and he chose to be a part of Harry, and protect Harry. He is with Harry right now, protecting him, and guiding him to make the right decisions. Sirius is the most caring and devoted person I know. He lives in all of our hearts, and will remain there until our time comes and we are able to be with him in death. Sirius I would say rest in peace, but you deserve more than that, and seeing as you are given more, living within Harry, then I need not say more then, you impacted so many lives for the best and continue to make us long to be like you. We love you Sirius, I love you Padfoot."
Lupin then bowed his head down in silence and the rest of them followed as if putting in their own words into the casket about to be lowered. Harry stood there playing memories in his head of him and Sirius together and could see Sirius's eyes glowing in every one. Harry's heart was in pain; he felt as though someone was ripping apart. Oh how Harry ached to be with Sirius one more time. Harry looked up to see the golden-polished wood casket with a golden plate on it with the words Sirius Black engraved in it being lowered into Sirius's grave. Harry wanted to jump in after it, but he reframed himself from doing so. He's not dead; he's living within me. Harry told himself over and over again. Harry then walked over to a patch of flowers and threw most of them in with Sirius before they started to cover his casket with the dirt to cover it. Then Harry turned to his parents' graves and placed the remaining flowers in his hands on them.
You guys have always been there when I needed you. Every time I escaped from Voldemort it had to do something with you guys. I just wish we could've had a life together and I could've had the little sister you wanted to give me. And Sirius, dad, thank you so much for appointing him my Godfather. He says I fly just like you did, but I guess I will never know… They also say I look just like you did dad, but I have mum's eyes. I have pictures of you guys and I can't stop looking at them. Mum, you're so beautiful and have such a beautiful voice. I love your song, it gives me hope. And dad, I got your hair definitely. Never lies flat. But mum, your sister and her family are so mean. They treat me as though I don't exist, I don't get any love from them at all. They never accept me for me, they want me to be like Dudley, but I can't change who I am. I would give anything to even spend one day with you guys, a perfect life, a magic life, and a perfect family. I'm sorry I haven't come to visit you in the past, but it didn't click that you had a funeral and was buried and all. Believe me when I say Voldemort is going to pay for what he did to us, I won't let him live anything down. I love you mum, and I love you dad. I'm going to make you proud and I can't wait till the day when we can be together again. I love you, bye.
Harry bowed his head down one more time and then looked up around him to see that many have left the funeral. Everyone that was going back to Hogwarts was still there, and Lupin. When they saw that Harry was done giving in his word to his parents, they came over to him. Lupin asked him,
"Harry do you feel all right?"
"I'll live." Harry responded trying not to think about death.
"Harry, if you want to spend the night at the Order—"
"No that's ok… I'm just going to go back to Hogwarts and fly." Harry told Lupin. "That was a really touching speech."
"Well I only spoke the truth Harry, now you should go get some rest, and have time to yourself. Write if you need me. I'll keep in touch." And with that Lupin gave Harry a warm filled hug and then apparated away.
"Well I just finished setting up another Portkey." Dumbledore told the rest as he came up to the remaining. "Should be about three minutes before we are transported."
They all just stood around in silence. Harry tried to keep his eyes away from the graves and tried to focus on something happy, but not a happy memory was coming to his mind.
"All right about time. Everyone touch some part of the book again." Dumbledore told them and they all took a part of the book again. Within ten seconds Harry was feeling a jerk up from underneath his navel. Then he saw he was back at Hogwarts in Dumbledore's office. As soon as they landed, Harry took off and down and out of Dumbledore's office. He went running for his broomstick. Harry needed to get his mind off of everything that just happened.
He grabbed his broomstick and ran back outside past the Gryffindor ghost. He quickly mounted his broomstick and took flight. He circled around the school and the lake; he let the cool breeze make his hair fly backward. He took in deep breaths of the fall breeze as he let his soul fly free. Harry's eye then caught site of the Whomping Willow. They all used to hang out there… my dad, Sirius…. If I fly fast maybe I can make it down the tunnel. Ready one…two…three! Harry then flew as fast as he could down the hole by the Whomping Willow, which led to the Shrieking Shack. His broom was too fast for the branches to even try to swing at him. Harry made his way down the tunnel and collapsed on the Shrieking Shack floor. He looked around at all of the dusty furnishings and his eye caught site of a not so dusty streak on the floor in front of him. Harry got himself up and remembered that the streak of less dust is where Sirius in the form of a black dog had dragged Ron three years ago. Harry followed the streak and it brought him to the room where Harry had first seen Sirius. He thought Sirius was a criminal then and came close to killing him.
"Going to kill me, Harry?"
"You killed my parents."
"I don't deny it, but if you heard the whole story."
"The whole story? You sold them to Voldemort and that's all I need to know."
"You've got to listen to me, you'll regret it if you don't…. you don't understand…."
"They've – got — a — right — to — know — everything! Ron's kept him as a pet! There are parts even I don't understand! And Harry – you owe Harry the truth, Sirius!"
"Er – Mr. Black – Sirius? If you don't mind me asking, how—how did you get out of Azkaban if you didn't use Dark Magic?"
"I don't know how I did it, I think the reason I never lost my mind was because I knew I was innocent. But then I saw Peter in that picture… I realized that he was at Hogwarts with Harry … perfectly positioned to act, if one hint reached his ears that the Dark Side was gathering strength again … ready to strike the moment he could be sure of his allies… and deliver the last Potter to them. If he gave them Harry, who'd dare say he betrayed Lord Voldemort? He would be welcomed back with honors… so you see I had to do something, I was the only one who knew Peter was still alive… I swam as a dog back o the mainland… I journeyed north and slipped into the Hogwarts grounds as a dog. I've been living in the forest ever since, except when I came to watch the Quidditch of course. You fly as well as your father did, Harry… Believe me, believe me, Harry. I never betrayed James and Lily. I would have died before I betrayed them."
"NO! Harry… Harry… you look just like your father…just like him…."
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO HARRY? HOW DARE YOU FACE HIM? HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT JAMES IN FRONT OF HIM?"
"Harry, James wouldn't have wanted me killed… James would have understood, Harry … he would have shown me mercy…."
"You sold Lily and James to Voldemort, Do you deny it?"
"You don't understand! He would have killed me, Sirius!"
"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED! DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!"
"You should have realized, if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would. Good-bye Peter."
"NO! You can't kill him you just can't. I don't reckon my dad would've wanted them to become killers just for you, Peter."
Clips of words were going through Harry's brain of the night of meeting Sirius for the first time in twelve years. We were all right here, right here. He was right here… Harry collapsed himself on the bed and began to let streaming tears go down his face. And many years ago, my dad, my dad was in this very house, my dad was here. Harry felt like he could go crazy as he jumped up and started throwing anything that he could get his hands on. He went through the whole Shrieking Shack and terrorized the place, just like his father and friends did years ago. He took out all of his anger out on any object that was in front of him. He heard screams from outside saying,
"IT REALLY IS HAUNTED!"
But Harry didn't care. He just wanted to get out all of his anger and pain.
"I hate you Peter! I hate you Voldemort! I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!" Harry screamed as he continued to throw anything and everything. Then out of nowhere he collapsed on the floor and started to cry hysterically and slam his fists on the floor. "Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave me? Why? Why? I want a dad! I want a mum! I want a little sister! I want a Godfather! I HATE MY LIFE! I HATE MY DESTINY! It's not worth the pain… its not worth it!" Harry screamed, as he was uncontrollable with anger and pain. No one's here to look at me act like this, but why do I feel eyes are watching me? Harry asked himself as he continued to cry. Those were my parents' graves… why hadn't anyone told me about them before? And Sirius, Sirius, you didn't get to go to their funeral either. You're life was cheated just as mine is…
Harry then released his last bit of anger by throwing the vase lying on the table next to him. This house was now even more broken down than is had been before Harry came into it, and Harry didn't feel too much better about himself either. Harry then went through phases, crying, and then silence, and then crying again.
It was becoming dark now and Harry felt so bad that he didn't want to go back to the castle. What if Malfoy sees me on the way up? Harry then made his way up to the room he started in and flung himself on the dirty bed. Harry sat there staring up at the ceiling and thinking about his parents and Sirius. Harry then felt a bit more relaxed and at ease.
He grabbed his broomstick that he left on the floor and held it close as he drifted off into the sleep he needed.
Author's note: Wow now this was a depressing chappie. Poor Harry… The next chappie lightens everything up though, not giving anything away! But YOU BETTER HAVE CRIED IN THIS CHAPPIE! And people where are my reviews? I would like to get up to a hundred people! And Christmas is coming! YAY! And later this year we have not only finals but also Apparation tests! Its funny cause sixteen year olds in our world look forward to getting their license; and sixteen year olds in Harry's world get to look forward to being able to Apparate! Well I would like to read some reviews people but otherwise I hope you are enjoying my chappies, and in the next one the depression comes to an end! FINALLY! AHH! Oh yes and reread the end of the third book to get the quotes! I LOVE the third book, my fav. Oh yes and the lyrics to the song Lily Potter sings belongs to # 11 on Kelly Clarkson's cd. Her songs are so sad especially when you're writing sad parts to you story! Hehe well I gtg study for bio! Ugg! ENJOY!