Going Under
Betrayal of the Heart
I lay still against the cold floor of the cave. My mind was still a blur. The only thing that I seemed to hear was Naraku's command to kill Kouga. No. NO! I-I can't.
I felt tears threatening to fall. I'd only cried with Kouga there. That was the only time I'd cried. He'd allowed me to be weak for the moment. But now...
My hands are soaked with blood as are my garments. Naraku has left me here to take the blame for the rest of his comrades' deaths. Ginta, Hakkaku, all the other wolves...it's all my fault...it's all my fault. IT'S ALL MY FAULT!
I don't know how long I lied there. There were Saimyoushou watching my every move. I don't know how, but Naraku once again held my heart. If I dared disobey him I would be killed. For once, I lifted my head to glance outside. The sun was rising. I lowed my head back down into the puddle of wolf blood letting the shame and guilt soak into me.
I heard fast wind approaching. He was back earlier than he said. I felt no emotion except for the feeling of death. My heart was gone. I could no longer feel what I had for the past few days.
"Kagura, I smelled wolf blood and-" his breathe caught in his throat as he glanced around.
"Kagura," he chocked on my name. I heard his breathing turn slow and raspy as he took the sight before him.
"Get away!" I shrieked at him. He glanced at me with fear all in his eyes. I lifted my blood stained face. He gasped seeing my fan in my hand. I felt the tears pour down my face.
"Just get away! I can't feel it any more! I'm sorry!"
I gasped feeling a pain in my chest. I felt my skin run cold like ice and I fell forward.
"Naraku?" he asked out. What was going on? He didn't sound angry. Last time his friends were killed he nearly killed Inu Yasha. I quickly stood making the pain leave. I swung my fan, my tears going everywhere. Kouga easily dodged it.
"Kagura!" I felt the anger swelling up in him. The only thing written on my face was malice. I couldn't wipe it away. Naraku's hold was stronger somehow. I felt my hand shake as it slowly rose.
"Fujinomai!" I yelled for the attack. I wanted to just die now like I'd wanted to. I wouldn't be about to kill Kouga. It was going to be one of us. If he stayed, he would die. If he left, I would die. Somehow, this seemed like the incident when we tried to curse kill Kagome.
Kouga dodged my attacks, one after the other. I heard him start panting heavily. He stopped, pinned against the wall. My hand, poised for attack. His chest heaved rapidly, faster than I'd ever seen. He was obviously far past out of breathe. My hand started to shake again. He noticed that and leapt forward. My hand swung of its own accord. He crossed his arms over his face as the attacks went through him. I felt horrible as his cried sounded in the caves. This time, his pain wasn't my pleasure.
"Kouga kuruse," I heard a voice say entering the cave. My hand shook, unable to move again. Kouga fell to his side glancing at Naraku. As he heard the phrase he looked back at me. The look of hurt and betrayal was all in his eyes.
"Kuruse."
I shook my head dropping the fan. "No!" I shouted as I grasped my head. Kouga stared wide eyed at me. Naraku reached into his purple hakama and pulled out the glass bead I knew well as my heart. As he grasped it I screamed clutching where my heart should be. I fell to my knees with my head slightly to the side. I felt my blood run cold again as I was sure I was paler than snow. Kouga looked like he'd seen one.
"Naraku..." he snarled out. Naraku laughed as I reached for my fan. No way in hell could I hurt Kouga. I stood and turned to Naraku.
"Kuruse," he repeated. I nodded my head.
"Kagura...no..." I heard Kouga rasp out as he stood on his knees. I turned to Naraku raising my fan.
"Sionara," I swung it at him. His eyes widened in shock at my attack hit him. He clutched the wound it left and squeezed the jewel. I felt something snap as I screamed a shrill tone making even my ears ring. He dropped the jewel that was now...now broken in two. He turned and was gone.
"Kagura!" Kouga yelled. I could barely hear him as I fell back. He caught me easily. When I fell into his arms it felt like I'd fallen off a cliff and landed onto a rock. I screamed out, only making it worse. He lowered me to the ground and quickly did the best he could to rid me of any injuries which were only cuts. He washed the blood off of me and soaked spots in my kimono ridding it of the blood.
I winced feeling a breeze blow past the two large fragments of my heart.
"Kouga-"
"Shh, don't move." His voice was calm and weak.
"I-I'm sorry," I turned my head to the side. He quickly pulled it back up; I think he was making sure I was alive. My voice was so soft whenever I closed my eyes it appeared I was falling into eternal slumber.
He leaned forward kissing my fore head. I felt extreme comfort and forgiveness sweep over me like water in a parched desert. "It's all right, we'll figure something out." I could hear the sadness in his voice. His words were shaky. He occasionally stopped in his sentences taking in a large breathe or to make his tone go from the light high to normal. I knew he was fighting tears.
"We'll find something..." that was it. His voice cracked. I reached up setting my hand over his. He looked at me. I could see the tears brimming on the edges of his eyes.
"It's okay," I whispered reaching up to his face wiping one of the oncoming tears away. I sat up slowly. I wasn't surprised when he grabbed my hand throwing it away.
"No! It's not okay! Naraku killed the last of my tribe! I'm the last wolf of the Western Yoroujok wolf tribe!" Somehow, I could feel what he felt. His heart was shattered, his soul, lost. He didn't have the will to fight any longer. Any demon would normally kill themself. I sensed he was debating on doing that. I quickly reached out to him. I gently set a hand behind his head pulling it to my chest. He looked at me surprised, a faint blush on his cheeks. I wrapped my other arm around him.
"It's okay to cry-it's okay to be weak...sometimes we're like that. I was. I never cried once until you told me it was okay to. I could be scared my life would end and I wouldn't cry."
In an instant I felt his arms wrap around my waist as he sank his face into my chest like a child would a mother. I heard his gasps for air and felt the wetness and knew he was crying.
"I-I should have been there!" I heard him scream, "I should have! It's my fault! If I'd only-only been there!"
I felt tears coming to my eyes. Before, I'd blamed myself, and he said it wasn't my fault. But now he feels as though it's his fault. I heard someone approaching. I lifted my head even though I couldn't see out of the cave since my back was to the entrance.
"It's not your fault," I whispered, barely making it audible. I heard the person walk up behind me.
"What happened?" I heard Kagome's voice. I looked over to them turning myself around. I saw Inu Yasha's face spill his surprise at the sight of Kouga. Kouga was showing his weakness. I stroked the soft hair making up his pony tail as I lowered my head.
"Naraku," I whispered.
"Nani? What's this?" I looked over to the taijiya to see her tap her foot against a broken piece of the red stone. My hands released Kouga as a shrill scream came from me. Everyone turned to look at me. I felt myself fall backwards. Kouga lifted his head quickly catching my head.
"Kagura!" he called out as his tear stricken face glanced me over. I knew I'd gone ghostly pale and cold again. His head turned to the taijiya. He set me down and stood with a face I can't describe.
"Bitch!" I heard him yell as he rose a fist and ran at her. I tried to tell him to stop but my throat wouldn't work. I saw Kagome dash between them.
"Kouga-kun, no!"
It was too late. Even with his speed, he couldn't stop his fist. I heard Kagome's cry as his fist hit her cheek driving her back. I could already see the blood from the corner of her mouth.
"Kagome-chan!" the taijiya yelled catching her. Kagome looked up to Kouga. His face was pouring rivers of tears by now. He fell to his knees and caught himself on his hands. He clenched his hands into fists.
"Damn it all!" I shut my eyes as he rammed his head to the floor in a fit of fury. I opened them slowly and saw he was still okay. He raised a fist pounding it into the ground. His whole body was trembling with fear.
"Damn it all! Damn it all! Damn it all to hell!" He continued repeated the phrases like a spell off of a mantra.
I saw Kagome look at me, then the broken jewel on the ground. She looked around at the bloody pools and dead carcasses. I could tell she was putting all the pieces together like a puzzle. She made the taijiya release her and knelt to Kouga. I could see anger welled up in Inu Yasha's eyes.
"Kouga-kun, I think I know someone who can help."
Betrayal of the Heart
I lay still against the cold floor of the cave. My mind was still a blur. The only thing that I seemed to hear was Naraku's command to kill Kouga. No. NO! I-I can't.
I felt tears threatening to fall. I'd only cried with Kouga there. That was the only time I'd cried. He'd allowed me to be weak for the moment. But now...
My hands are soaked with blood as are my garments. Naraku has left me here to take the blame for the rest of his comrades' deaths. Ginta, Hakkaku, all the other wolves...it's all my fault...it's all my fault. IT'S ALL MY FAULT!
I don't know how long I lied there. There were Saimyoushou watching my every move. I don't know how, but Naraku once again held my heart. If I dared disobey him I would be killed. For once, I lifted my head to glance outside. The sun was rising. I lowed my head back down into the puddle of wolf blood letting the shame and guilt soak into me.
I heard fast wind approaching. He was back earlier than he said. I felt no emotion except for the feeling of death. My heart was gone. I could no longer feel what I had for the past few days.
"Kagura, I smelled wolf blood and-" his breathe caught in his throat as he glanced around.
"Kagura," he chocked on my name. I heard his breathing turn slow and raspy as he took the sight before him.
"Get away!" I shrieked at him. He glanced at me with fear all in his eyes. I lifted my blood stained face. He gasped seeing my fan in my hand. I felt the tears pour down my face.
"Just get away! I can't feel it any more! I'm sorry!"
I gasped feeling a pain in my chest. I felt my skin run cold like ice and I fell forward.
"Naraku?" he asked out. What was going on? He didn't sound angry. Last time his friends were killed he nearly killed Inu Yasha. I quickly stood making the pain leave. I swung my fan, my tears going everywhere. Kouga easily dodged it.
"Kagura!" I felt the anger swelling up in him. The only thing written on my face was malice. I couldn't wipe it away. Naraku's hold was stronger somehow. I felt my hand shake as it slowly rose.
"Fujinomai!" I yelled for the attack. I wanted to just die now like I'd wanted to. I wouldn't be about to kill Kouga. It was going to be one of us. If he stayed, he would die. If he left, I would die. Somehow, this seemed like the incident when we tried to curse kill Kagome.
Kouga dodged my attacks, one after the other. I heard him start panting heavily. He stopped, pinned against the wall. My hand, poised for attack. His chest heaved rapidly, faster than I'd ever seen. He was obviously far past out of breathe. My hand started to shake again. He noticed that and leapt forward. My hand swung of its own accord. He crossed his arms over his face as the attacks went through him. I felt horrible as his cried sounded in the caves. This time, his pain wasn't my pleasure.
"Kouga kuruse," I heard a voice say entering the cave. My hand shook, unable to move again. Kouga fell to his side glancing at Naraku. As he heard the phrase he looked back at me. The look of hurt and betrayal was all in his eyes.
"Kuruse."
I shook my head dropping the fan. "No!" I shouted as I grasped my head. Kouga stared wide eyed at me. Naraku reached into his purple hakama and pulled out the glass bead I knew well as my heart. As he grasped it I screamed clutching where my heart should be. I fell to my knees with my head slightly to the side. I felt my blood run cold again as I was sure I was paler than snow. Kouga looked like he'd seen one.
"Naraku..." he snarled out. Naraku laughed as I reached for my fan. No way in hell could I hurt Kouga. I stood and turned to Naraku.
"Kuruse," he repeated. I nodded my head.
"Kagura...no..." I heard Kouga rasp out as he stood on his knees. I turned to Naraku raising my fan.
"Sionara," I swung it at him. His eyes widened in shock at my attack hit him. He clutched the wound it left and squeezed the jewel. I felt something snap as I screamed a shrill tone making even my ears ring. He dropped the jewel that was now...now broken in two. He turned and was gone.
"Kagura!" Kouga yelled. I could barely hear him as I fell back. He caught me easily. When I fell into his arms it felt like I'd fallen off a cliff and landed onto a rock. I screamed out, only making it worse. He lowered me to the ground and quickly did the best he could to rid me of any injuries which were only cuts. He washed the blood off of me and soaked spots in my kimono ridding it of the blood.
I winced feeling a breeze blow past the two large fragments of my heart.
"Kouga-"
"Shh, don't move." His voice was calm and weak.
"I-I'm sorry," I turned my head to the side. He quickly pulled it back up; I think he was making sure I was alive. My voice was so soft whenever I closed my eyes it appeared I was falling into eternal slumber.
He leaned forward kissing my fore head. I felt extreme comfort and forgiveness sweep over me like water in a parched desert. "It's all right, we'll figure something out." I could hear the sadness in his voice. His words were shaky. He occasionally stopped in his sentences taking in a large breathe or to make his tone go from the light high to normal. I knew he was fighting tears.
"We'll find something..." that was it. His voice cracked. I reached up setting my hand over his. He looked at me. I could see the tears brimming on the edges of his eyes.
"It's okay," I whispered reaching up to his face wiping one of the oncoming tears away. I sat up slowly. I wasn't surprised when he grabbed my hand throwing it away.
"No! It's not okay! Naraku killed the last of my tribe! I'm the last wolf of the Western Yoroujok wolf tribe!" Somehow, I could feel what he felt. His heart was shattered, his soul, lost. He didn't have the will to fight any longer. Any demon would normally kill themself. I sensed he was debating on doing that. I quickly reached out to him. I gently set a hand behind his head pulling it to my chest. He looked at me surprised, a faint blush on his cheeks. I wrapped my other arm around him.
"It's okay to cry-it's okay to be weak...sometimes we're like that. I was. I never cried once until you told me it was okay to. I could be scared my life would end and I wouldn't cry."
In an instant I felt his arms wrap around my waist as he sank his face into my chest like a child would a mother. I heard his gasps for air and felt the wetness and knew he was crying.
"I-I should have been there!" I heard him scream, "I should have! It's my fault! If I'd only-only been there!"
I felt tears coming to my eyes. Before, I'd blamed myself, and he said it wasn't my fault. But now he feels as though it's his fault. I heard someone approaching. I lifted my head even though I couldn't see out of the cave since my back was to the entrance.
"It's not your fault," I whispered, barely making it audible. I heard the person walk up behind me.
"What happened?" I heard Kagome's voice. I looked over to them turning myself around. I saw Inu Yasha's face spill his surprise at the sight of Kouga. Kouga was showing his weakness. I stroked the soft hair making up his pony tail as I lowered my head.
"Naraku," I whispered.
"Nani? What's this?" I looked over to the taijiya to see her tap her foot against a broken piece of the red stone. My hands released Kouga as a shrill scream came from me. Everyone turned to look at me. I felt myself fall backwards. Kouga lifted his head quickly catching my head.
"Kagura!" he called out as his tear stricken face glanced me over. I knew I'd gone ghostly pale and cold again. His head turned to the taijiya. He set me down and stood with a face I can't describe.
"Bitch!" I heard him yell as he rose a fist and ran at her. I tried to tell him to stop but my throat wouldn't work. I saw Kagome dash between them.
"Kouga-kun, no!"
It was too late. Even with his speed, he couldn't stop his fist. I heard Kagome's cry as his fist hit her cheek driving her back. I could already see the blood from the corner of her mouth.
"Kagome-chan!" the taijiya yelled catching her. Kagome looked up to Kouga. His face was pouring rivers of tears by now. He fell to his knees and caught himself on his hands. He clenched his hands into fists.
"Damn it all!" I shut my eyes as he rammed his head to the floor in a fit of fury. I opened them slowly and saw he was still okay. He raised a fist pounding it into the ground. His whole body was trembling with fear.
"Damn it all! Damn it all! Damn it all to hell!" He continued repeated the phrases like a spell off of a mantra.
I saw Kagome look at me, then the broken jewel on the ground. She looked around at the bloody pools and dead carcasses. I could tell she was putting all the pieces together like a puzzle. She made the taijiya release her and knelt to Kouga. I could see anger welled up in Inu Yasha's eyes.
"Kouga-kun, I think I know someone who can help."