Chapter 1
Beginnings
Disclaimer: I don't own them! Get over it! The charries all belong to the wonderful J.K. Rowlings. The song "The Shadow-Lover" belongs to Mercedes Lackey and Heather Alexander. I don't own the song either, but it's very pretty. Go listen to it! You can buy the record at Firebirdarts.com. You should also read her Valdemar series. Mercedes Lackey is the author that got me interested in fantasy books and she's inspired me to start trying to write my own story! Chapter one of that is on FictionPress.net under the name StoryCrafter. Anywho....READ AND REVIEW....tell me what you think of the new chappy one! ~QoF
~Shadow lover never seen by day
Only deep in dreams do you appear
Wisdom tells me I should turn away
The love of mist and shadows are unclear~
June 17th Dear Journal, I feel so alone. Ron and Hermoine are together and I have no one. I sat there and watched them make out on the couches and I couldn't do anything. I have no one. Well I have a hope of someone but....I don't know if he feels the same way....I love Snape, but I fear I love in vain. Will I ever get up the nerve to talk to him? To tell him? I feel so unloved, so alone in life. Why am I so alone? Everyone loves me. I'm the Boy-Who-Lived right?
~Nothing can I hold of you, but thought
Shadow lover, mist and twilight wrought
Shadow lover, comfort me in pain
Who I love although I never see your face.~
Why can't everyone understand me? I just want someone to talk to....I know that Ron and Hermoine are there for me but...they're just...oblivious sometimes...I mean, they have each other and all they do is give me a pity party whenever I'm around them, because I don't have anyone....No all I have are dreams that won't come true. How could they? I'm in love with the Head of Slytherin house! I'm the hero of Gryffindor....it'd never work. I'd be too afraid to tell him...I mean what if he said no? I'd be humiliated.
~All who'd have me fear you speak in vain
Never would I shrink from your embrace
Shadow lover, gentle is your hand
Never could another understand~
I couldn't take it if he said no. Oh god, what do I do? I'm sitting here, writing to myself. This isn't helping! Honestly, though, what did I think it'd do? Answer me? I don't think so. I just...oh god I don't know what I feel anymore. This is my last year here and you'd think I'd be happy, because I don't have to live with the Dursley's anymore after this year, but no, here I sit, miserable. I'd even take Dobby as company, at least he could cheer me up! I've gotten no letters from anyone and I feel...awful. Alone. Unloved.
~Shadow lover, sooth me when I'm worn
Mourn for all who left me here alone
When my grieve to be born
When my burdens crushing great have grown~
My grief is too much. I keep looking at the scrapbook that Hagrid gave me at the end of my first year. I see my parents, so happy. Why'd Voldemort have to kill them??? Why them? What'd they ever do to him??? Wasn't he before their time? I don't know anymore! I have tears in my eyes, just from thinking of them! I hate living here, and I hate living without them.
~Shadow lover, I cannot forget
Help me bear the burdens I have yet
Shadow lover, you alone can know
How I long to reach a point of peace~
I feel as though no one truely knows the real me, the real Harry. I'm just a boy who's all alone. Everyone expects me to be this wonderful Wizard, but....I don't know. Hermoine's better at magic than I am! And having to deal with Malfoy and his goons...I swear, it's almost as bad dealing with them as it is living here.
~How I fade with weariness and woe
How I long for you to bring release
Shadow lover, court me in my dreams
Bring the peace the suffering redeems~
I just want peace. Is that not possible? Probably not...not for me, the hero of the Wizarding World! Everyone knows me, and they all expect that I'm gonna always be happy and always gonna be able to defeat Voldemort, and it's driving me batty! I swear, it makes me wish that I was someone else. Even my dreams are plagued with people wanting me to do something for them.
~Shadow lover, from the shadows made
Lead me into shadows once again
Where you lead I cannot be afraid
For with you I shall come home again~
I know that I'll be ok though. It's just...I feel so alone. I feel sad and lonely. I just wish I could talk to someone, someone who'd understand me. Not be horrified that I have feelings for Professor Snape, or be horrified I'm not perfect. I guess I'll just have to keep confiding in these yellowed pages. I'll have to confide in myself. Goodnight, Diary. Signed, Harry
I close my diary and hide it under my loose floorboard. I make sure it's nice and closed so the Dursley's won't find it and read it. I lay back on the bed and stare at the ceiling. The setting sun is sending shadows dancing across it, fleeing from the impending darkness. "Harry! Harry Potter, come here this instant!" Uncle Vernon roars at me. "Yes, sir," I say as I rise to go to him. "I'll not have you sulking around this house! You're a disgrace to us and I wish you'd just...." Vernon trailed off, looking in my eyes. "You insolent little brat! How dare you look me in the face!" His hammy hand reaches out and cuffs me upside the ear. "I'll teach you to not look at me! Freak!" I'm being hit, repeatedly. I black out.... **********
Ok folks....this is the mellower beginning to the story. It gives a little more background into what was happening in the old chapter one. Hope you guys like it!^_^ tell me what you think of it! Is it too descriptive? What?
Disclaimer: I don't own them! Get over it! The charries all belong to the wonderful J.K. Rowlings. The song "The Shadow-Lover" belongs to Mercedes Lackey and Heather Alexander. I don't own the song either, but it's very pretty. Go listen to it! You can buy the record at Firebirdarts.com. You should also read her Valdemar series. Mercedes Lackey is the author that got me interested in fantasy books and she's inspired me to start trying to write my own story! Chapter one of that is on FictionPress.net under the name StoryCrafter. Anywho....READ AND REVIEW....tell me what you think of the new chappy one! ~QoF
~Shadow lover never seen by day
Only deep in dreams do you appear
Wisdom tells me I should turn away
The love of mist and shadows are unclear~
June 17th Dear Journal, I feel so alone. Ron and Hermoine are together and I have no one. I sat there and watched them make out on the couches and I couldn't do anything. I have no one. Well I have a hope of someone but....I don't know if he feels the same way....I love Snape, but I fear I love in vain. Will I ever get up the nerve to talk to him? To tell him? I feel so unloved, so alone in life. Why am I so alone? Everyone loves me. I'm the Boy-Who-Lived right?
~Nothing can I hold of you, but thought
Shadow lover, mist and twilight wrought
Shadow lover, comfort me in pain
Who I love although I never see your face.~
Why can't everyone understand me? I just want someone to talk to....I know that Ron and Hermoine are there for me but...they're just...oblivious sometimes...I mean, they have each other and all they do is give me a pity party whenever I'm around them, because I don't have anyone....No all I have are dreams that won't come true. How could they? I'm in love with the Head of Slytherin house! I'm the hero of Gryffindor....it'd never work. I'd be too afraid to tell him...I mean what if he said no? I'd be humiliated.
~All who'd have me fear you speak in vain
Never would I shrink from your embrace
Shadow lover, gentle is your hand
Never could another understand~
I couldn't take it if he said no. Oh god, what do I do? I'm sitting here, writing to myself. This isn't helping! Honestly, though, what did I think it'd do? Answer me? I don't think so. I just...oh god I don't know what I feel anymore. This is my last year here and you'd think I'd be happy, because I don't have to live with the Dursley's anymore after this year, but no, here I sit, miserable. I'd even take Dobby as company, at least he could cheer me up! I've gotten no letters from anyone and I feel...awful. Alone. Unloved.
~Shadow lover, sooth me when I'm worn
Mourn for all who left me here alone
When my grieve to be born
When my burdens crushing great have grown~
My grief is too much. I keep looking at the scrapbook that Hagrid gave me at the end of my first year. I see my parents, so happy. Why'd Voldemort have to kill them??? Why them? What'd they ever do to him??? Wasn't he before their time? I don't know anymore! I have tears in my eyes, just from thinking of them! I hate living here, and I hate living without them.
~Shadow lover, I cannot forget
Help me bear the burdens I have yet
Shadow lover, you alone can know
How I long to reach a point of peace~
I feel as though no one truely knows the real me, the real Harry. I'm just a boy who's all alone. Everyone expects me to be this wonderful Wizard, but....I don't know. Hermoine's better at magic than I am! And having to deal with Malfoy and his goons...I swear, it's almost as bad dealing with them as it is living here.
~How I fade with weariness and woe
How I long for you to bring release
Shadow lover, court me in my dreams
Bring the peace the suffering redeems~
I just want peace. Is that not possible? Probably not...not for me, the hero of the Wizarding World! Everyone knows me, and they all expect that I'm gonna always be happy and always gonna be able to defeat Voldemort, and it's driving me batty! I swear, it makes me wish that I was someone else. Even my dreams are plagued with people wanting me to do something for them.
~Shadow lover, from the shadows made
Lead me into shadows once again
Where you lead I cannot be afraid
For with you I shall come home again~
I know that I'll be ok though. It's just...I feel so alone. I feel sad and lonely. I just wish I could talk to someone, someone who'd understand me. Not be horrified that I have feelings for Professor Snape, or be horrified I'm not perfect. I guess I'll just have to keep confiding in these yellowed pages. I'll have to confide in myself. Goodnight, Diary. Signed, Harry
I close my diary and hide it under my loose floorboard. I make sure it's nice and closed so the Dursley's won't find it and read it. I lay back on the bed and stare at the ceiling. The setting sun is sending shadows dancing across it, fleeing from the impending darkness. "Harry! Harry Potter, come here this instant!" Uncle Vernon roars at me. "Yes, sir," I say as I rise to go to him. "I'll not have you sulking around this house! You're a disgrace to us and I wish you'd just...." Vernon trailed off, looking in my eyes. "You insolent little brat! How dare you look me in the face!" His hammy hand reaches out and cuffs me upside the ear. "I'll teach you to not look at me! Freak!" I'm being hit, repeatedly. I black out.... **********
Ok folks....this is the mellower beginning to the story. It gives a little more background into what was happening in the old chapter one. Hope you guys like it!^_^ tell me what you think of it! Is it too descriptive? What?