Sorry for the delay. I had issues. Well, I still do, but that's as good an excuse as any.

~Star Mouse

@@@

Chapter 30: Repunzel Barbie (TM) and the doorless dreamhouse.

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Angel looked towards the two newest Slayers, who were fighting back to back, shouting a frantic conversation in Thai over the shrieks of exploding vampires. They seemed to have a pretty good rhythm down, and many of the vamps were crowding around them, trying to take out what they now perceived as the greatest threat. That gave him a little leeway to work his way to the brunette with the baseball bat.

"Dawn!"

She whirled, smacking a vampire across the face. "Little. Busy!"

Angel came up beside her and threw off a vamp with a mace. Dawn acknowledged him by shifting her stance so he could get back to back with her.

"Now!"

Beyond one of his attackers' shoulder, Angel saw Birdie drop her weapons and thrust her arms out in front of her. Light exploded from her palms, effectively incinerating a line of about ten vampires. She fell backwards, and Petchra dusted a vamp that had tried to take advantage of her moment of weakness.

Okay, that's useful.

Birdie stood upright, and took a stake from Petchra.

"We can do it once every five minutes or so! Stay out of the way!" she called out.

"Don't worry," he muttered, grabbing another by the neck and twisting it's head off. They were doing well, but it wasn't enough. Obviously, the entire army hadn't been camping in the basement. The vampires just kept coming, and he could feel his strength waning.

*

"So, you didn't train much in jail, huh?" Buffy gave the other Slayer another vicious kick. She easily blocked the counterattack, and threw a punch at her face. "You're really not on the top of your game. At least last time I was sore after..."

Faith flew back, skidding across the polished wooden floor. She frictioned to a stop, and lay there for a minute, stunned. This wasn't going well.

"Aw, c'mon. You aren't even trying. Are you?" Faith lay helplessly as Buffy leaned over into her dome of vision. The blonde seemed thoughtful.

"Maybe if I..." She reached down.

*

Angel heard Faith scream, and was running for the stage before he realized what he was doing. He vaulted the rise and ripped the blonde away from the prostrate form on the floor.

"Back off."

Buffy shook him off and danced back. "Oh, knight gallant. You're quite the hero these days. Does it really make you feel better?"

Beside him, Faith climbed to her feet. He shooed her off towards the cafeteria proper. The brunette jumped off the stage and fought her way to Dawn. Angel turned back to his former love, who was watching him with hip and eyebrow cocked.

"Buffy, I know you're in there somewhere. Fight it, Buffy. Think about what you're doi--Ungh!"

"You know, Spike didn't try to get through to me."

Angel shook off the blow in time to block the next one. "Spike?" He lashed out with a leg, and managed to connect with her solar plexus. His internal hiss of triumph was tempered by the fact that It didn't seem to really phase her. He didn't know if it was the demon or just hard living, but this Buffy was much tougher then the last one he'd fought. She just kept attacking, chatting pleasantly all the while.

"Yeah, you haven't heard that story, have you? A lot's happened since you hopped a bus out of Dodge. He was in love with me for a while, you know." She kicked Angel in the knee. "But somewhere between my fucking his brains out and his getting a soul, we drifted apart." She pulled back to punch him again. "Shame how that happens."

A cool grip closed over her fist. "Isn't it though?" Her head whipped around and then back when Spike clubbed her in the jaw.

"Nice to see ya, Peaches. Now get your arse off the stage."

"Spike--"

"Get off the stage and help the Slayers. Now!" Spike vamped against Buffy's struggles. He realised she was inevitably working free of his grip, and threw her clear across the stage. "Why. Are you. Still. Here?"

Angel stood, uncertain, until Dawn screamed. He dove off the stage into the sick and twisted mosh pit of creatures of darkness.

Buffy pulled herself to her feet, all easy menace and uninjured grace. "I'd rather be fighting you anyway."

Spike growled low in his throat. "Mutual."

They simultaneously threw themselves at each other.

@@@

"Ties that bind, strengthen, draw tight. Connectors, guide this traveller though the veil and back. Guide him. Connectors, guide him. Ties that bind. Connectors, strengthen, draw tight..."

"G-man. Is it working?"

Giles shook his head. "I have no way of knowing. We won't be able to tell until Spike activates the transfer."

"That's another thing. How come Spike gets to save the world?"

"Well, I'd say he's due a few apocoli. Besides, you got the last one."

"...Connectors, ties that bind, strengthen, draw tight. Connectors, ties that bind, strengthen, draw tight. Guide this traveller through the veil and back."

@@@

{Punch, punch, kick kick, taunt, taunt, punch punch...}

"Ha!" Spike pinned Buffy against the cement block wall of the stage behind the curtains. He held her roughly in place with an arm splayed across her upper chest and a bent leg crossed over hers. For the moment she was immobilized.

She struggled, but to no avail, and settled for spitting blood in his face. "Coward. Not gonna let me fight? You afraid I'm gonna--"

He smashed his lips against hers, ripping at her cheeks with his fangs.

He gripped her head with both hands as he bit savagely at her mouth. "Pwerstrnsferthrwthevesselsintothistravlr."

@@@

"--draw tight. Guide this traveller--!" There was a pause, and both witches jerked. Willow recovered first.

"Connectors, strengthen, draw tight, guide thistravellerthroughtheveilandbacknow!"

There was a flash.

Then a pause.

Then a cough. "Did it work?"

Marion shook herself. She looked to Willow for confirmation. "I--I believe so."

"It was different," Willow agreed.

Xander looked at the other people nervously. "So now what? What does Spike do now that he's got an all access pass into Buffy's head, and by the way, I really don't like the sound of that."

The witches looked at each other.

"I dunno."

@ @ @

[cue songfic]

I'm stuck in my ivory tower.
I'm sitting on my ivory bed.
I have absolute power
over the world inside my head.
But it doesn't really matter,
'cause I'll never see my love again.
And I'm stuck in this ivory tower...

@ @ @

"Once upon a time, there was a kind and generous king, who ruled over a great and prosperous kingdom," the singsong voice began.

"His daughter, the princess, was very beautiful, with hair like spun gold thread. Unfortunately, she was such a smart-ass bitch that her father was forced to lock her up in a high high tower, where she couldn't be a menace to society."

Buffy jolted awake. "Wha--?"

She registered the doorless walls and stone slab floors at nearly exactly the same time she registered the stiff fabric tangling up her legs.

"Wha-huh?" she rearticulated, staring down at her volumous skirts. My God, I'm wearing a corset. ...And a parachute.

She stood as quickly as she could from the cliched cot in the corner and rushed to the single window, batting at her volumous dress in vain effort to subdue it. She tripped and caught herself against the stone edge of the glassless window.

It was a beautiful sunny day, eerily similar to the day Willow nearly destroyed the world. The kind of day that makes you glad to be alive. Old folksy pastures and fields stretched to the horizon in a checkerboard pattern.

She glanced down, and gulped. She had to be thirty stories up. No stairs. No handy ropes...

"No escape."

Buffy whirled, with difficulty, to face the voice. She eyed the brunette in blue, and attempted to menace. "How did you get in here?"

An annoying smirk. But not the right smirk. "Wrong question. How did you get in here?"

How did I get here? "Will you give me a straight answer?"

The man shrugged. "Sure. If that's what you really want." What's that accent? Eastern European?

"I want."

"You are here because you lost a fight with one demon, and threw a fight with another. Don't you remember?"

~A protection amulet. It'll, you know, protect you. --Kick my ass. Literally? I'm losing control, I can feel it.~

"Willow..."

"Yes. For a well-meaning friend, she endangers your lives on a fairly regular basis."

Buffy ignored that, still thinking. "So where am I now?"

"Mm. Tougher question. Though not entirely accurate, the answer 'inside your own mind,' will probably be the most satisfactory."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "My mind. So I'm locked in a tower like Repunzel Barbie ...in my head?"

"That's correct."

"And this is because of the demon Willow, Dawn, and Marion summoned?"

"Are you going to repeat everything I say?"

Buffy scowled. "No. I'm just confirming. Now, next question. If this is my head, then who the hell are you?"

The man smiled. "My name is Dorjan Vadas."

@ @ @

In my head, you love me.
You'll carry me away
into a setting sun, and before the day is done
we'll already be married.
It's so perfect in my head.
But I must be careful where I tread,

for I'm locked in an ivory tower
and I'm sitting on my ivory bed
I have absolute power
over the world inside my head
but it doesn't really matter
cause I'll never see my Love again
and I'm stuck in this ivory tower. . .

@ @ @

Buffy's brow furrowed. "Dorjan Vadas? Is that supposed to mean something to me?"

His lip quirked. "Probably not. However, it might interest you to know that as we are so ...pleasantly conversing, our counterparts are attempting to establish a new world order."

"What?"

"Your friends are waging war against you. The Slayers are at war with you. You're at war with them. Such a thing has only happened once before..."

"...Faith."

"Yes," he agreed. "But she's there now. She's fighting the battles you should be fighting.

"I-- I would be--" Buffy defended, confused. Vadas waved her words away.

"Yes. Except you let yourself be taken down early. Not very helpful, were you? And now your body is running around your town, causing hell for your little friends, and you are to busy sealing yourself here," he indicated the stone chamber, "to notice."

Buffy bit her lip, trying not to think about what he was really saying. "Why am I noticing now?"

"Pardon?"

"Why am I hearing all this now, instead of earlier?"

Dorjan smiled. "Because you, like any princess worth her salt, have gained a champion."

@ @ @

"What the bloody hell is this?"

He squinted.
He couldn't see.
He brought a hand to his face, and his elbow squeaked in protest.
He twisted his torso and got pinched in the side.
He figured it out.
He was wearing a damn stupid suit of armour!

Spike tried to walk. He tripped. He tried to get up. It was no good. He had no flexibility, and just kind of rocked a little, like a turtle on it's back. His legs desperately flailed around, trying to work up enough momentum to flip, getting more and more pissed off.

Inside the helmet, he vamped out. With a roar, Spike wrenched at the shining silver plating, ripping through it like tin foil.

...When nothing was left but a pile of scrap, and his normal ensomble of black and black had been revealed, he stood up, still shedding little filings. With vindictive glee, he drop-kicked the plumed helmet into the ...field-filled distance?

Blinking in the bright, for~some~reason~non-lethal daylight, Spike bit his cheek.

"Uh huh."

He spotted a tower in the distance. It practically screamed 'Climb me and save the princess'. There was even a cloud hanging over it, providing the only gloom in the view.

"Well, that looks pretty straight-forward," he mused. He glanced down at the recently deceased armour, and fished a sharp piece of what had once been a thigh plate out of the pile. Fingering the edge gave him a bleeding thumb, and a smirk. Damn good knife, this.

"Right then," he said, hefting his new toy. "Prince Charming, eat your heart out." Then, lower, "On second thought, allow me."

And with that, Spike started off on a grand quest to save the woman he under-no-circumstances-loved.

@ @ @

"Spike's going to save me?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"Correct."

Buffy flopped down on the hard floor. Luckily, the skirts provided a lot of padding. "Oh, goodie. The one person in the world that hates me more than just about anything."

Dorjan smiled. "Oh, there are more than one, I assure you."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "I kinda knew that. But why him, of all people? He can't be doing it by choice." Giles probably threatened to stake him. Or maybe Willow gave the toads speech.

"Because he," Dorjan said calmly, "of all people, is the only one who can."

Buffy glared at him a second, not sure why, then darted for the window. About halfway there, she tripped over he long skirts and bounced off the wall. She glared down at the offending fabric. "This bites," she whimpered.

"But isn't it what you wanted?"

She turned on what she was increasing sure was her captor. "What are you talking about?"

Dorjan eyed her for a moment, then abruptly switched topics. "Who are you?"

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "Since you know so much, why don't you tell me?"

"I can't. This is your impromptu journey of self-discovery. Not mine."

Buffy watched him suspiciously, before answering, "The Slayer."

He smiled. "There now. That wasn't so hard, now was it? Let's try another one: What are you, child?"

There was a pause.

"Hey..."

"Answer the question, please."

"That was a cheap trick," she said, berating herself for falling for it.

"You wish to change your answer?"

"Yeah. My who's Buffy Summers, california girl, blah blah blah. My what's the Vampire Slayer. You know. the Chosen One?"

He pointed. "There. That's the root of this all. You are not even sure of who you are, and you lean on that to give yourself meaning. You define yourself by what you are, not who you are, by what you were chosen to be, not by who you choose to be."

"That's-- It's not--" Buffy sputtered. "I just didn't know what you meant," she argued. "That's the only reason I hesitated at all."

The blue-clothed man shook his head. "No, it's more than that. It must be. And it's tearing you apart. Why else would you be here?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "I thought you already answered that one, oh wise Zandar. I lost a fight with a demon."

"You lost a fight, yes. But why?"

"Uh, because it was stronger than me?"

"Perhaps. Or perhaps you didn't want to win? Perhaps you wanted to be saved."

Buffy glared at him, even as her brain cycled through his meaning. "What are you getting at?"

He shrugged. "It's your mind, Vampire Slayer. You are the one who made it a prison. It is you who chose, however subliminally, to become a damsel in distress."

@ @ @

I pace the room
It's round and stone.
I want to escape, but this place is my home
I have nowhere to go
I have nowhere to ride
I have no real reason to try to hide. 'Cause
I have an Ivory Tower.

@ @ @

Spike hadn't gotten a hundred yards before there was a voice behind him.

"Vampire!"

He turned. "Yeah. Pretty good guess, given the sunshine and all." There was a yellow, amphibious creature with fly eyes standing in the grass. "You must be a roadblock."

"Do not go on," it said.

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Is Buffy in the tower?"

The creature nodded.

"Then I go on. Now bugger off." Spike turned around and started off again.

"Do not go on, Vampire!" the yellow thing called. Against his better judgement, Spike turned back, again.

"Why not?"

The creature approached, feet making sckchluck,sckchluck noises in the tall grass. "It is not worth your time. You will get no thanks. She will use you, like she did before. Reject your love, like she did before."

Spike spread his arms wide and stared into the sky. "For pity's sake, people! I am not in love with the bitch!"

"Then why go on? I promise, you will be greatly rewarded should you desist, and be greatly tried should you proceed."

Spike smirked. "Trust me. If I'm going to be around the Slayer for any length of time, it's going to be trying."

"Then stay. Claim your reward..." A mountain of shiny things blinked into existence behind the frog. Spike eyed the pile.

"Very pretty," he said, and started off again.

"Vampire!"

With a roar, Spike spun and stabbed the butt-ugly thing through the gut with his scrap metal knife. He twisted as he yanked it out, letting the dead creature flop to the ground, and eyed the dripping length of his weapon with distaste. He swiped it clean against one of the thing's feet, then started off again.

"Told you to bugger off."

@ @ @

I'm locked in an ivory tower
and I'm sitting on my ivory bed
I have absolute power
over the world inside my head
but it doesn't really matter
cause I'll never see my Love again
and I'm stuck in this ivory tower. . .
I'm stuck in this ivory tower.
Forever. The end.

@ @ @

Lyrics from 1FB&Co's "Ivory Tower."

Notice how I got sick of the fighting scenes? How irritating are those?--

Also, I wanted to remind anyone who's forgotton that Birdie can do the 'energy discharge thing', as is mentioned in one of the single digit chapters. I think I'll have to go back and put in some more mention of that somewhere, so it doesn't seem so totally random. It may not be obvious that the basement explosion was also started in that manner. Blame my writing. It's a jerk, anyway.

I'm debating posting the firsts of four new WIPS. Just out of curiostiy, will anyone read them?

~Star Mouse
[Irony Menu] [Continued Soon!]


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