Is there a God?
Chapter 4
"Love's First Glance"
Sleep. Silence. I hear someone. Next to me. Breathing. I wake up slowly. Where am I? I crack open an eye. I don't see anyone. Am I blind? Why can't I see? I close my eyes again before I panic. *You're alright. You're alright.* I thought to myself. I hear breathing again. Someone moving. Who are you? Where are you? Why can't I see you? I open my eyes fully and look around. I see Madam Pompfrey bustling around in her office, but no one near me. I slide up in the bed so I'm semi-inclined. I look around me again. I see a chair next to me. It's empty. Sigh. No one is really here. I'm just thinking it. I feel tears running down my cheek. Then startlingly I feel a gentle finger wipe it away. "Who's there?" I ask, startled. No answer. I feel invisible arms slide around me, cradling me against a firm, warm body. An invisible body. I tense up but that causes me pain. I gasp and the invisible hands brush away my tears again. Then someone lays me back down and strokes my cheek gently. "Who are you?" I ask. "It doesn't matter. I am here for you. Relax, Harry," says a familiar sounding male voice. I try to relax. I feel a hand stroking my side. I hiss as it hits a broken rib. The hand stops and then suddenly I feel nothing. Numbness. I start to drift off to sleep. "I'll stay with you Harry. I'm here. I'll protect you. And I'll never leave you."
Darkness. I'm walking thru darkness. I see a figure before me. It's walking. Walking away from me. Just like everyone else. I'm alone. I'm afraid. I see people. They snicker at me. Why? What is so funny? I look down at myself. I'm naked. I scream. I don't know why but I'm suddenly shaking. Why? I cover myself with my hands. I'm ashamed. I see that figure again. It's moving towards me. A hand grips my arm. PAIN! I pull myself away and suddenly I'm in a different dream. A featureless plain is before me. I stand, naked, on a plain of snow. I don't feel cold for some reason. I start to walk across the snow, looking behind me. I leave no footprints. I know I should be cold but I'm not. I'm numb. I can't feel anything. In the distance I see mountains. Mountains of ice. I walk towards them. They loom closer and closer to me, towering over me. I see someone standing there. A man. A gorgeous man. He reaches out to me but something in me screams "NOOOOO". I run. I run until I can barely breathe. My side is on fire with pain. My foot suddenly screams with agony. I look down and it's turning glassy, icy, like the snow beneath it. I am afraid. It hurts. God make it stop hurting! I watch, fascinated as the ice slowly entombs my leg, shrouding it in it's icy caress. I try to run but I can't. My leg won't move. I stumble and catch myself with my bare hands. One of them gets slashed and I watch as my red blood oozes out and then turns to ice. I'm now cold. So cold. I shiver. I look around and notice I'm suddenly surrounded by ice mountains. I kneel down and cry, but my tears turn to ice as they run down my cheeks. I'm burning up. I must have a fever.
Bright light hits my eyes. Madam Pompfrey holds onto my shoulders, her hands like brands. My skin is ice cold, reflecting my dream. Professor Dumbledore holds onto my right hand but someone is still holding on to my left. I look at Professor Dumbledore but he just smiles at me. "Well Harry. You seem to have bad dreams right now. Are you ok?" I nod silently. I'm more interested in the person holding my hand, the person I can't see. Why can't I see them? Are they under an Invisibility cloak? No....I'd see something....I think at least. I wonder if there's a spell or a potion to make you invisible. Madam Pompfrey puts a vial of something to my mouth and I obediantly swallow. A sweet tasting liquid flows into my mouth and down my throat. It tastes like strawberries and chocolate. A numbing sensation flows throughout my body, wiping away the pain. I start to drift back into my disturbed rest.
A beautiful spring day. Soft green grass under me. Radient sapphire blue sky above me. The wind tossels my black hair, like a friend playing with my hair. I sigh and go back to my book. I am absorbed in this book. It's a muggle book, but it's an interesting story. Something about a gay man realizing he's gay. I feel....something. I think I can relate to him. But why? Why am I feeling like this? Why would I be gay? Or am I? I look up as I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around and there is Professor Snape. Only....it doesn't look like him. His hair is soft and silky, washed and combed. He doesn't have his habitual sneer on his face, instead he has a look of longing. He is dressed in beautiful black leather pants and a black silk shirt with a black cape on. Oh. My heart feels like it's stopped beating. My breath catches in my throat. Oh god. I want him. I want him as I've wanted no one else. He's....beautiful. A god. Oh....why? Why me? Why oh why HIM? I...I need him. I rise to my feet and stumble my way to him. His arms close around me and he holds me. Just holds me. Oh god.....I want this. I've always wanted this. I never let myself feel this way before, but I think I've always loved him.....some deep part of myself has loved him ever since that first Potions class. Oh, this feels so good, so right. He leans my head up and gently kisses my lips. His lips are so soft, so tender. Tears spring to my eyes as I taste him. He's sweet.....so sweet......it's like we were sharing a single piece of candy, letting it melt between our lips. It tastes so......good......oh......I pull back and gasp for breath. "I love you Harry. I always have," he whispers to me. I nod. I feel the same. I know nothing's ever going to be the same. No, not ever again. **************************************************************************** ****** Ok. I put this up originally and forgot to put on a disclaimer....well here it is: Ta da! I DON'T OWN THEM! DON'T SUE ME! I HAVE NOTHING BUT MY IDEAS AND YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM! *cluches ideas to self* HA! *sticks out tongue*
And as always, I'd like to thank my wonderful reviewers!
Macotee rofro05 majikal-musician
Chapter 4
"Love's First Glance"
Sleep. Silence. I hear someone. Next to me. Breathing. I wake up slowly. Where am I? I crack open an eye. I don't see anyone. Am I blind? Why can't I see? I close my eyes again before I panic. *You're alright. You're alright.* I thought to myself. I hear breathing again. Someone moving. Who are you? Where are you? Why can't I see you? I open my eyes fully and look around. I see Madam Pompfrey bustling around in her office, but no one near me. I slide up in the bed so I'm semi-inclined. I look around me again. I see a chair next to me. It's empty. Sigh. No one is really here. I'm just thinking it. I feel tears running down my cheek. Then startlingly I feel a gentle finger wipe it away. "Who's there?" I ask, startled. No answer. I feel invisible arms slide around me, cradling me against a firm, warm body. An invisible body. I tense up but that causes me pain. I gasp and the invisible hands brush away my tears again. Then someone lays me back down and strokes my cheek gently. "Who are you?" I ask. "It doesn't matter. I am here for you. Relax, Harry," says a familiar sounding male voice. I try to relax. I feel a hand stroking my side. I hiss as it hits a broken rib. The hand stops and then suddenly I feel nothing. Numbness. I start to drift off to sleep. "I'll stay with you Harry. I'm here. I'll protect you. And I'll never leave you."
Darkness. I'm walking thru darkness. I see a figure before me. It's walking. Walking away from me. Just like everyone else. I'm alone. I'm afraid. I see people. They snicker at me. Why? What is so funny? I look down at myself. I'm naked. I scream. I don't know why but I'm suddenly shaking. Why? I cover myself with my hands. I'm ashamed. I see that figure again. It's moving towards me. A hand grips my arm. PAIN! I pull myself away and suddenly I'm in a different dream. A featureless plain is before me. I stand, naked, on a plain of snow. I don't feel cold for some reason. I start to walk across the snow, looking behind me. I leave no footprints. I know I should be cold but I'm not. I'm numb. I can't feel anything. In the distance I see mountains. Mountains of ice. I walk towards them. They loom closer and closer to me, towering over me. I see someone standing there. A man. A gorgeous man. He reaches out to me but something in me screams "NOOOOO". I run. I run until I can barely breathe. My side is on fire with pain. My foot suddenly screams with agony. I look down and it's turning glassy, icy, like the snow beneath it. I am afraid. It hurts. God make it stop hurting! I watch, fascinated as the ice slowly entombs my leg, shrouding it in it's icy caress. I try to run but I can't. My leg won't move. I stumble and catch myself with my bare hands. One of them gets slashed and I watch as my red blood oozes out and then turns to ice. I'm now cold. So cold. I shiver. I look around and notice I'm suddenly surrounded by ice mountains. I kneel down and cry, but my tears turn to ice as they run down my cheeks. I'm burning up. I must have a fever.
Bright light hits my eyes. Madam Pompfrey holds onto my shoulders, her hands like brands. My skin is ice cold, reflecting my dream. Professor Dumbledore holds onto my right hand but someone is still holding on to my left. I look at Professor Dumbledore but he just smiles at me. "Well Harry. You seem to have bad dreams right now. Are you ok?" I nod silently. I'm more interested in the person holding my hand, the person I can't see. Why can't I see them? Are they under an Invisibility cloak? No....I'd see something....I think at least. I wonder if there's a spell or a potion to make you invisible. Madam Pompfrey puts a vial of something to my mouth and I obediantly swallow. A sweet tasting liquid flows into my mouth and down my throat. It tastes like strawberries and chocolate. A numbing sensation flows throughout my body, wiping away the pain. I start to drift back into my disturbed rest.
A beautiful spring day. Soft green grass under me. Radient sapphire blue sky above me. The wind tossels my black hair, like a friend playing with my hair. I sigh and go back to my book. I am absorbed in this book. It's a muggle book, but it's an interesting story. Something about a gay man realizing he's gay. I feel....something. I think I can relate to him. But why? Why am I feeling like this? Why would I be gay? Or am I? I look up as I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around and there is Professor Snape. Only....it doesn't look like him. His hair is soft and silky, washed and combed. He doesn't have his habitual sneer on his face, instead he has a look of longing. He is dressed in beautiful black leather pants and a black silk shirt with a black cape on. Oh. My heart feels like it's stopped beating. My breath catches in my throat. Oh god. I want him. I want him as I've wanted no one else. He's....beautiful. A god. Oh....why? Why me? Why oh why HIM? I...I need him. I rise to my feet and stumble my way to him. His arms close around me and he holds me. Just holds me. Oh god.....I want this. I've always wanted this. I never let myself feel this way before, but I think I've always loved him.....some deep part of myself has loved him ever since that first Potions class. Oh, this feels so good, so right. He leans my head up and gently kisses my lips. His lips are so soft, so tender. Tears spring to my eyes as I taste him. He's sweet.....so sweet......it's like we were sharing a single piece of candy, letting it melt between our lips. It tastes so......good......oh......I pull back and gasp for breath. "I love you Harry. I always have," he whispers to me. I nod. I feel the same. I know nothing's ever going to be the same. No, not ever again. **************************************************************************** ****** Ok. I put this up originally and forgot to put on a disclaimer....well here it is: Ta da! I DON'T OWN THEM! DON'T SUE ME! I HAVE NOTHING BUT MY IDEAS AND YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM! *cluches ideas to self* HA! *sticks out tongue*
And as always, I'd like to thank my wonderful reviewers!
Macotee rofro05 majikal-musician