This is just a test fic that me and my friend created the other night. There's nothing special about it. If you like it, though, send me a review saying so. I will continue if you do.
I am going to upload a more serious and in-depth story within the next couple of weeks. It will be a crossover of many different Final Fantasies, and will mostly take place on Earth. It's going to be interesting…
Disclaimer: When I grow up, I'm gonna be an evil, oppressive overlord!!! When that happens, I will enslave the developers of Final Fantasy!!! Muahahahahahaha!!! *Thinks for a moment* Wait. How do I become an evil oppressive overlord? *Whips out a 'Conquering the World for Dummies' book thicker than the thickest dictionary* Let's see…
Sephiroth and the Evil Love Potion #9
Rikku and Lulu are standing in the Macalania Travel Agency. Rikku is staring outside as Lulu works on a mysterious potion.
Rikku: This could go wrong, you know?
Lulu: Don't worry. Just do exactly what I told you to do. *Puts cork in a vial with a large pink heart painted on the front* Here, Rikku. It's finished.
Rikku: You sure it will work?
Lulu: Just take it. *Hands Rikku the vial*
Rikku: *Takes vial* Okay, I guess. Thanks, Lulu. *Rikku leaves Macalania Travel Agency and heads off into the woods*
Lulu: (To herself) I don't think this is a good idea. Maybe I should tell him… *Sigh* No, I'll just wait and see what happens…
Rikku is walking through the Macalania Forest with the vial in her hand. She is talking to herself as she walks.
Rikku: At last. He will finally be mine. *Glances at vial* I can't wait to see him confess his love for me. *Comes to a clearing with a small pond* Hmmm. I could use a drink. *Kneels at the edge of the pond* Wow. It's crystal clear. (The vial slips from her hand as she leans over to take a drink and smashes) *Gasp!* (Picks up a shard of broken glass) It's ruined… Lulu's not going to make another one. *Ponders for a moment* Her books! I can make my own! *Stands up and begins walking back to Travel Agency* All right, then. I'll try it. *Disappears into woods* He will be mine…
Little does Rikku know, the love potion drains into the pond. Lady Yuna approaches the pond very tired and thirsty.
Yuna: Thirsty… Huh? *Spots pond* (Yells and flies towards pond) WATER!!! *Kneels at pond* At last! *Takes long drink* That was great. Wonderful, in fact…
As Yuna stands at the lake, Sephiroth marches through the clearing looking mighty proud of himself.
Sephiroth: I wish I knew about this sooner. It was so easy. *Sigh* At least that Jyskal guy was right… *flings back his hair* Ha! I can restart my plans for world domination! *Raises head high* Now I only need to find the black materia again, and I'm good to go!
As Sephiroth marches through, Yuna looks up and spots him. She immediately began having visions of a bright and beautiful future with this truly one-winged angel. Sephiroth notices Yuna and stops in the middle of the clearing. Without a second thought, Yuna bounded over to her Sephy-chan and knocked him to the ground.
Sephiroth: Hey! Hey!!! HEY!!! What the heck do you think you're doing?!
Yuna: My, my! Aren't you handsome! *Tries to plant a kiss on his lips*
Sephiroth: *Screams like a little girl and tries to get up and run away* AHHHH! SOMEBODY HELP ME! I'M BEING MOLESTED BY A TOTAL NUTCASE!
Yuna: *Grabs the hem of his cloak* Where are you going? *Tries to restrain him but fails. Sephiroth stumbles out of the clearing* NOOOO! Come back, my love!
Sephiroth runs aimlessly through the forest and finally spots a thicket to his left. He leaps in and waits for Yuna to pass.
Yuna: Come back, my silver-haired mate. *Comes closer to the thicket* Don't worry, I'll find you. *Walks by thicket and out of sight*
Sephiroth: (rises from the thicket) Phew! That was close. *Hears chirping noises behind him* What the-? *Chicobos stare up at him with big hearts in their eyes* AHHHH! *Sephiroth runs out of the thicket, the chicobos hot on his trail, chirping 'momma' in chocobo language.*
Yuna: *Hears Sephiroth's curses behind her* I'M A-COMIN' HONEY! *Bounds after the lovely voice*
Sephiroth: (comes back to the clearing and pond) *Pant, Pant* Oh…*pant* you gotta be…*pant* kidding me…*wheeze* *Stares into eyes of a very BIG female behemoth, who had just finished a long drink of the infested pond water. The behemoth begins stomping towards him, crying her mournful mating call. Sephiroth screams like a girl. Again.* NOOO! HELP ME! I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE RAPED BY A BEHEMOTH! *Trips over chicobos in his attempt to flee the scene and falls into the arms of the very passionate Yuna*
Yuna: *looks past Sephiroth's shoulder and spots the Behemoth* You never told me there was somebody else! *Thinks for a moment* But I love ya anyways! *Holds him tight and begins covering him with kisses*
Sephiroth: *arms and legs flailing* NO! Let me GO! I'm not your type! I'm an evil overlord! Get OFF! *Caravans arrive at the pond and fifty young women from the Honey Bee Inn get out to drink from the pond* NO! DON'T DRINK THE WATER! *The girls have already taken sips. They look up at Sephiroth's yells and immediately fall in love with him and run to smother him in hugs and kisses*
Caravan drivers: HEY! Where are you goin'? We've gotta be at Don Corneo's mansion in three hours!
Sephiroth: *Almost has himself free from Yuan's grip* Yes! Don's waiting for you! You must go now!
Girls: Screw Don! *Surrounds Sephiroth, posing and batting eyelashes at him* You're such a cutie!
Sephiroth: MOMMY!!! *Jenova appears the girls back off a bit* MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY! *Runs from Yuna into Jenova's… err…'arms'*
Jenova: *pats Sephiroth's back in a reassuring way* What is it sweetie? Mommy's here.
Sephiroth: *in little 'innocent' voice similar to that of a four-year-old* Mommy, those scary ladies are trying to rape me!
Jenova: Well, you are a handsome young man. I'm glad to see you finally broke through your shell
Sephiroth: WHAT?!?! NO! I want you to kill them!
Jenova: They're fine specimens, though! Why don't you settle down?
Sephiroth: I'm 1035 years old! I'm too young to settle down! I haven't fulfilled my dream of becoming an evil, oppressive overlord!
Yuna: Listen to your mother! I'll be sure to treat you just fine. *Attemts to pull Sephiroth into another rib-cracking hug, but is pushed away*
Sephiroth: Never! *Looks around at the girls* NEVER!!!! *Runs away screaming, the girls, behemoth, chicobos, and Yuna hot on his trail*
Rikku is sitting at a small table in the Travel Agency, absorbed in a large, dusty tomb. Lulu walks over.
Lulu: *looks over Rikku's shoulder* What are you doing with my spell book?
Rikku: *jumps three feet off the ground* Oh, umm… I was just…err… *closes book*
Lulu: Let me guess. You messed up with the potion.
Rikku: I-I You see… The water- I tried- but it broke… *Sinks back into chair**Sigh* The potion drained into the pond. It's useless-
Lulu: WHAT?!?! IDIOT! *her crimson eyes seemed to glow* Are you not intelligent enough to know that dropping glass on a rock will break it?
Rikku: Hey, what are you so mad about? The potion won't work after being diluted with water, right?
Lulu: OF COURSE IT WILL! Show me the pond! I only pray no person has taken a drink. *Looks about the room* Where's Lady Yuna?
Sephiroth, drained of energy, finally emerged from the woods.
Sephiroth: *Wipes raindrops from his eyes and jumps at a thunderbolt that struck somewhere nearby* Not this place again… *Begins the slow trek across the muddy plains*
Chicobos: *Chirping and dancing around his feet*
Yuna: Hey, handsome!
Sephiroth: Oh, no… *looks back to see the girls running towards him with umbrellas covering their heads* *He can't help but smile* Three…Two…One…
Lightning rains down upon the group: several girls screamed.
Sephiroth: *Sneaks away*
Lulu is examining the pond. Rikku is watching nervously nearby.
Lulu: *Sigh* By the looks of it, we're too late.
Rikku: Too late? *Runs to Lulu's side* What do you mean?
Lulu: There are many ponds like this one scattered throughout Macalania. They are all connected by underground waterways. *Shook her head slowly* Not only that, but the waterways run all the way to the Moonflow.
Rikku: *Looks shocked* The Moonflow? That's the main water source for all of Spira!
Lulu: Look at these footprints. *Examines footprints by the pond* A behemoth and Lady Yuna drank from this pond. Quite a few other people were recently here, too.
Rikku: How do you know it was Yunie?
Lulu: Only Yuna would wear those hideous things.
Rikku: *Spots a pair of larger footprints* Who's are these?
Lulu: Hmmm… *Examines the footprints* I don't know. They don't look familiar.
Rikku: I wonder if they drank from the pond…
Sephiroth, who was soaked through, slumped down to the floor. He gently laid his back up against the uncomfortable branch-walls of Guadosalam.
Sephiroth: Damn…
Guado kid: *Points at Sephiroth* Hey! It's that freaky guy that escaped from the Farplane!
Female Guado: *Gasp* You! How dare you show your face in this world! This plane of existence is not yours anymore!
Male Guado: Why are you here? *What seemed like the whole population of Guadosalam gathered around the semi-frightened Sephiroth, some blocking the two exits out of the city*
Voice: Let him go. *The Guados looked around* Something important drew him here. He must settle whatever business he has before he's able to rest.
Guado group: *Found the source of the voice and parted, giving a very proper and intimidating looking Guado room to approach Sephiroth*
Seymour: *Bows slightly* I am sorry. You may leave if you wish.
Sephiroth: *Stands up, chicobos falling off his head and out of his lap* Thank you!
Seymour: *Nods and turns away, but Sephiroth calls him back*
Sephiroth: Wait! If a bunch if flirty women and a behemoth pass by, do NOT tell them which direction I went in, okay?
Seymour: *A bit confused* As you wish.