House of Walls
Author: Orrymain
Author Email: marciastudley@comcast.net (Feedback welcome)
Author Website: http://orrymain.raikiri.net/fanfichome.html
Category: Slash, Romance, Established Relationship
Pairing: Jack/Daniel .... and it's all J/D
Rating: PG-13
Season: 7 - late February 2004 (pre-Chimera)
Spoilers: None
Size: 22kb, short story
Written: February 21,25-26,29, 2004
Summary: Daniel decides to buy a house, and Jack wonders why!
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. A gal can dream though!
Notes:
1) This fic stands alone, but it does reference my past fics, "Messages of a Friendship"
2) Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better: Quingem, Suzanna, Claudia, Sheryl!
House of Walls
by Orrymain
"Is this seat taken?" Marie asked.
"No, please," Daniel motioned towards the chair. He had a smile on his face as he struggled to chew the last bite of chicken from the salad he was eating for lunch in the SGC commissary. "How's your day going, Marie?"
"Oh, pretty much the same. It's quiet here today." She watched Daniel nod casually. "Of course, SG-1 hasn't been off-world yet today either," Marie snickered.
Daniel stopped chewing his food, and then when he continued, did it very slowly, almost as if in "slo mo" mode. "Good one, Marie."
"Thank you, Doctor Jackson," the pretty nurse laughed.
Marie liked Daniel. She had from the first moment she had laid eyes on him a few years ago when she joined the staff at Cheyenne Mountain. She'd actually kissed him once, but then he'd taken her to lunch and explained that there could never be anything between them. He was married, and the kiss should never have happened. She had been disappointed, but still held out a small flicker of hope in her heart, especially since he was a widower now.
The two chatted jovially for quite a while about current events, recent missions, Marie's lack of a love life, and Daniel's latest injury, a small paper cut from the day before when he had dropped a file and the edges of one of the papers grazed his finger, resulting in the cut.
"At least it's not infected," Marie said.
"Please, don't even think it. It's still February, and I've already seen more of the infirmary than I care to for the entire year!"
"Oh, Daniel, I've been meaning to tell you. I purchased this really classic looking Egyptian-style wall hanging for my guest room. It's incredible! You should come by and see it one day!"
Daniel nodded in affirmation.
"I love decorating. I change my decor every couple of years. How about you?"
"No, not really. My ... the apartment looks pretty much the same as always."
"You know, I keep wondering why you still live in an apartment. They're so ... temporary. Daniel," Marie leaned forward, "there is this really lovely little house for sale near my home. It's perfect for a bachelor like yourself. You should go by and take a look."
"No, I don't think so. I'm ... happy with the apartment."
"But think of all that money you give to a landlord every month. A house is an investment. You aren't planning on leaving or anything, are you?" she asked hesitantly.
"Oh no, this is ... home now. I, uh, no ... this is home."
"I'm glad, and that's all the more reason to buy a house and really make it your own, you know?"
They chatted a bit longer and then Daniel excused himself to continue the research he was working on.
====
"There ... just a couple more to go," Daniel said to no one as he paid his monthly bills. He'd already taken care of the ones that he was responsible for at the house, and now he was working on the apartment -- gas, electricity, sewer, water, rent. "Okay, let's see ..."
Daniel prepared the online check and sighed. "$1325 for what?"
He switched off the computer and went downstairs. Jack was dusting the furniture, wearing his gray sweatsuit. Daniel had a real affinity for that old gray outfit. He shivered just thinking about the first time he'd taken it off of his husband when they had made love for the first time.
"Jack, I've been thinking ..."
"Should I run and hide?" Jack quipped. Daniel stared him down.
"Sorry. Thinking about what?"
"I, uh ..."
Jack wiped his hands on the rag he had been using. "Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like this?"
"You get feelings? Wow! I'm impressed." Daniel had a smile on his face as he teased the love of his life.
"I'll have you know I've got a feeling right now."
"Do I even want to know?"
"Sure you do, Danny. That's the thing I love about you -- you're so nosey." Jack's chocolate brown eyes were sparkling with life at the little game he and Daniel were playing at the moment.
"I'm not nosey, I'm ... I'm ..."
"Nosey! Full on elephant-like trunky nosey," Jack grinned.
"Your knowledge of the English language never ceases to amaze me, Colonel O'Neill."
"I am an enigma, it's true. I like to think of myself as a man with many layers."
"I'm not stripping you again, Jack -- at least, not now," Daniel spoke with a luster in his eyes. "Honestly! Is everything about ... you know, with you?"
"You know? You're calling it, you know? Geez, Danny, you're getting me all ... up with your sexual innuendos."
"It was not an innuendo!"
"I mean if you want us to get more intimately acquainted, all you had to do was say so."
"What? I never said ..."
"Did, too!"
"Did not!"
"Did!"
"Jack! Can we get back to the point please?"
"See! I told you I had a feeling that you were going to say that."
"You did not!"
"I was going to before you started suggesting you wanted to practice the art of frottage with me."
"You ... I ..."
Jack was totally pleased with himself. Getting Daniel off balance was never easy, but it was one of Jack's favorite sporting events! Nothing in the world was sexier to Jack than when his archaeologist was all befuddled as he was at the moment.
"Well, I'm glad we got that all sorted out. Now can we please get back to the subject at hand, which is that you've been thinking, which for some reason usually means I'm not going to like what I hear."
"That's because you're paranoid!"
"Very funny, Daniel. Are you going to tell me or is this a national secret?"
Daniel took a deep breath and spoke the words about 120 miles per hour. "I think it's a waste of money to pay $1325 a month for an apartment I barely recognize anymore, and I want to buy a house. What do you think?"
Daniel folded his arms and walked a few feet to the other side of his husband. He was waiting for the eruption, and he didn't have to wait very long.
Jack studied Daniel. "Let me get this straight. You want to buy a house, and you're asking me what I think. Have I got that straight?"
"Yes."
"No!"
"No, what?"
"No, Daniel, you are NOT buying a house. You HAVE a house. THIS one! Unless you've decided we need a new one?"
"Gawd, no. I love this house. I mean ... I was thinking I could sub-let the apartment and invest in a house."
"No," Jack said as he turned around to dust the table by the sofa.
"Jack, just listen!"
"NO! NO! NO! Or as you sometimes like to say, NYET!" Jack spoke sarcastically causing Daniel's eyebrows to raise.
"Old history, Love. Jack," Daniel put his finger up in front of his body, "just hear me out."
"WHAT PART OF NO DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU HAVE A HOUSE, DANIEL. WHY ... WHY WOULD YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE?"
"Jack ..."
"Or is there something you want to tell me? WHY? Come on, Daniel, tell me!"
Daniel took a breath and walked towards Jack.
"NO WAY ARE YOU BUYING A FRIGGIN' HOUSE!"
"Jack," Daniel put his arms around his soulmate's neck. He smiled and blinked a couple of times. "Listen ... to ... me," and then Daniel kissed his husband, a full, deep, very wet kiss that had Jack thinking about something other than houses ... for a moment.
"Did you hear that?" Daniel asked when he pulled back.
"You don't need a house. A house is ... permanent. WE'RE PERMANENT. NO! NO! NO!" The veins in Jack's neck bulged as he shouted in Daniel's face. "Nooooommmmmmmph," this second kiss went even deeper than the first. It lasted so long that both men were gasping for air when it stopped.
"Did you hear me that time?" Daniel's soul asked.
"Okay, this ... isn't about us." It was a statement that had really been a question for the older man.
"Exactly. Will you listen now?"
"Why do you want to buy a house?" Jack asked, walking outside of Daniel's personal space, needing some distance to digest what was about to come.
"I was talking to Marie last week, and ..."
"Marie has the hots for you, remember!"
"Jack, come on. That was years ago. Get over it already!"
"She likes you. Be blind if you want, but I see it in her eyes. She wants your body! She wants you to buy a house so she can help you decorate, then cook your dinner, then get where only I get to go, until finally she has somewhere to hang her stockings! I can see them now, draped all around the bathroom."
"Try and get a grip, Jack."
"I'd like to grip her around the neck."
"Marie?"
"Is that what she's calling herself nowadays? Used to go under the name of Mata Hari. She's not interested in your living arrangements Daniel, she's after your ..."
"Body. Yes, I know, you've told me." Daniel smiled a soft, sensuous smile, "Well, if she wants my body, that's too bad for her because my body belongs to a certain Air Force studmuffin."
"Studmuffin," Jack echoed as he folded his arms. Daniel didn't call him that often and usually when he did it was in the throws of passion. Jack had never decided whether or not he approved of the nickname, but one thing he did approve of was the lust in Daniel's eyes whenever his lover spoke the word.
"You want to hear this or not?"
"Go on."
"There's a house she mentioned. She wondered why I hadn't purchased one since I've indicated that I plan to be here for a very long time. Long story short, she also mentioned the investment potential, and that's the thing I haven't been able to get out of my mind."
"Why is she so interested in your living arrangements if she hasn't got a little plan to plant herself in your brand new bedroom?"
"Jack, you really need some therapy. Maybe McKenzie could help you talk through your insecurities."
"Insecurities? That quack? Low blow, Daniel -- which is what she's after, by the way."
"This conversation is getting stranger and stranger by the minute," Daniel said, wondering just how much further down this crazy path they could go. "Do you mind if I continue, or do you have some other words of wisdom you'd like to impart?"
Daniel began to pace a little as he talked, "Jack, I pay $1325 for space that means nothing to us. It's a ... a facade. Think about what that $1325 could mean for our ... our family," he said shyly.
Jack smiled in acknowledgement of their plans to have children at some point in the future.
"For Christmas, you gave me a bond for our children, remember?"
Jack nodded. "Because I think we need to plan, to help them in case stuff happens to us."
"Jack, if I sub-let the apartment, it would pay for itself until the lease expires. And if I bought a house, it would be an investment for our future. As soon as you retire, we could sell it or ..."
Jack couldn't help himself. His breathing was heavy and his blood pressure was on the verge of skyrocketing. He shook his head, "No. I don't care, Daniel. Rent is ... rent!"
"The house that I looked at is only about 12 minutes away, and it ..."
"You looked at a house? You are kidding, aren't you?" Jack's anger increased. "YOU ACTUALLY FRIGGIN' WENT HOUSE-HUNTING WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME?"
"It was on the way ..."
"I DON'T CARE. NO! READ MY LIPS, DANIEL! THE ANSWER IS UNEQUIVALLY NO! YOU ARE NOT BUYING A HOUSE. HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?" Jack turned and stormed outside, not waiting for a response of any kind.
Daniel shook his head and sighed. He stared at the carpet for a minute, and then the sound of the filter drew his attention to his fish. He smiled. "You know, if I didn't love him so much, I'd strangle him myself. But, I do, even when he is a cantankerous old grizzly bear."
Renewing his focus, Daniel went outside. He sat down next to Jack on the patio steps. Jack was petting Bijou, and Katie was sunning herself in the middle of the lawn. Daniel gently rubbed his shoulder against Jack's.
Daniel slipped his arm through Jack's, and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. When he spoke, the words were soft and loving, "Love, if you really don't want me to buy the house, I won't."
Jack looked at Daniel. He spoke sternly. "I don't want you to buy the house."
Daniel nodded, "Okay." He stood and rubbed his hands together for a moment. "Why don't we take the girls for a walk? It's a beautiful day out."
"Sure. Why don't we?" Jack agreed.
The couple went for a nice long walk. They did some more cleaning when they got home, and ate a cozy dinner for two in front of the fireplace. Then, Jack and Daniel watched "Young Frankenstein" on cable before making out for an hour on the sofa, which was the precursor to an intense lovemaking session in their bedroom, after which they fell asleep, completely satiated and happy.
Jack woke up at 4:15 a.m. and wasn't able to go back to sleep. "Danny?" he shook his lover gently.
"Sleeping, shhhhh," Daniel said.
"Okay, Love, but I'm going out on the roof for a while."
"Need pillow. Sleeee..."
"You stay here. I only woke you up because you keep yelling at me for not waking you up, and then you wake up and you're alone and you say you don't like that, not that I'm crazy about it either, but ... oh, for crying out loud, I'm talking to a sleeping geek. Cute, but sleeping."
Jack rolled gently out of Daniel's embrace. He put on his gray sweatsuit again and headed outside. He walked to the railing on the roof deck, pressing his hands against the wooden rail, and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes to take in the crisp feeling of the air.
Then he laughed, "Missed me, eh?"
Daniel yawned. He had put his arms around Jack's waist, and now he leaned his head against Jack's back. He closed his eyes and yawned again.
"J'ck, pillow gone. Why?"
"Tell me about the house, Danny."
Suddenly alert, Daniel's eyes opened. "Look at me," Daniel instructed, spinning his lover around to face him. "I meant what I said. You said you didn't want me to buy it, so I won't."
"You don't need my permission."
"No, I don't, but we're married, Jack, and I don't think we should go out buying houses and things unless we both agree. Do you?"
"You're not angry with me. Why?"
"Because I think I know why you don't want me to."
"Why?"
"You're scared. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you're wondering if I want out. You're thinking I'm looking for some place to run to, or that I want some kind of backup. You're worried I don't love you like I used to. Things like that," Daniel spoke as his hands caressed Jack's chest.
"You ... do love me."
"But not like I used to."
Jack's heart stopped.
"Jack, you crazy loon. Every second of every day, I love you more. Every time, every single time I think that my heart can't hold anymore, I ... I find it's bigger than ever, more wondrous, more complete. It's not anything like it was that very first night, or just last night." Daniel cupped Jack's face, "I love you, Jack, in ways I still can't fathom or understand."
Jack kissed his heart, because Daniel was his heart. He held him close. "I was scared, Danny. I'm sorry. I shouldn't doubt you, not ever."
"You don't."
"What?"
"Jack, I'm the expert on self-doubt. It's not me you were unsure of, was it?"
Jack smiled. "I guess a piece of me still thinks, still wonders, 'why me?"
"The old 'I'm a broken-down Colonel with bad knees' garbage, right?" Daniel asked.
Jack sighed, "Something like that."
"But you know better."
"You keep reminding me."
"And I always will, Jack. Let's go back to bed," Daniel kissed Jack again.
"Angel, please. Tell me about the house, and the logic behind it again."
"Okay. Jack, I checked the zoning laws. When you retire, we could sell it and easily make money on it. It's in a prime location. Or if we wanted to turn it into an office for whatever we end up doing, we could. The zoning there is perfect for small offices that don't use hazardous materials."
"So we'd save the rent money. What about maintenance and the bills?"
"It's a trade off. We could do the outside work ourselves, make it a weekly outting with the girls. There's a big lawn. The house itself is pretty small. The loft almost seems bigger, but the investment potential is huge. And, like I said, it's closer."
"How many times did you have to go back and forth to figure that out?"
"About five. I found the perfect path. Twelve minutes from our home."
Jack nodded.
"Jack, I told you last year that this place was home. That's ... a bit of a lie."
"What?" Jack asked in alarm.
"This," Daniel patted the spot over Jack's heart, "This is my home, right here. Your heart. You're my home, Jack. It doesn't matter where we are, because here," Daniel caressed the spot, "here's where I live. This house. It's full of you. Your scent. Your essence. Memorabilia and things that symbolize you. I love this house. I love it because it's a representation of you."
Daniel kissed Jack briefly on the lips, "Love, the loft, it's space, empty space, and that new house. Jack, it's not home. All it is, all it can ever be, is a house of walls, a structure to store trinkets and furniture that is meaningless, except for the piano. Do you understand? You're my home. That place ... it's just a shelter that we still need to play a game that we both hate, but at least some good could come out of it because in the end, we help secure our children's financial future."
"I love you, Danny."
"I love you, too!"
"Why don't you show me the house tomorrow, and we'll go from there?"
Daniel nodded, but added, "Jack, any doubts at all, and we aren't getting it or any other house. I don't want you to ever second guess this."
"Nah, 12 minutes. When you have to do those fake sleepovers, it'll be easier now."
"Gawd, I love Covert Ops 102."
"The advanced course!" Jack smirked lustfully.
"It was one of your best training ideas ever," Daniel spoke, lust in his eyes from the memories alone.
"We could have some fun with this new house."
"Lots of fun, Jack. New places to ... you know!"
Jack laughed at his lover's modesty. "Don't ever change, Angel."
"Never," Daniel said leaning in for another kiss just before the two collapsed to the ground for an impromptu lovemaking session.
====
Jack looked around the empty apartment. He went to the bedroom where years of memories played through his mind. Eventually, he ended up on the balcony overlooking Colorado Springs.
"You were a good apartment. I didn't hate you. I just hated what you represented. I'm actually going to miss this," Jack touched the balcony railing, "although not the memory of when Danny almost took a header from here."
"Not one of my best memories, either," Daniel smiled as he leaned against the entryway.
"It wasn't a bad place."
"No, it wasn't," Daniel looked around. "It's so empty now."
"Did the Kennedys say when they were moving in?"
"Not until Monday. I think they'll like it here. I did ... that first year."
Jack went to Daniel and scooped him into his arms and kissed him. "You know, Angel, I thought that when we eventually burned the lease to this place that it would mean ..." Jack's voice cracked a little.
Daniel leaned in for a tender kiss, "It won't be long, Jack."
"Come on, you," Jack said, tugging on Daniel's hand, "We have a house to unpack."
The two went to the door and took a final look at the barren loft. Then they faced each other and smiled. Jack turned out the light, and for the last time, Daniel locked the door. They went to the elevator, and in silence rode it down to the ground level. Then they walked to the rental truck parked in the front that was loaded with boxes and furniture from the apartment.
They leaned against the truck and looked up at the apartment balcony.
"Regrets?" Jack asked.
"Not a one. Not a single one. I love you. You're my heart, Jack."
"And you're my soul. We'd better go."
The two drove to the new facade, the new place of their hiding in plain sight game. Sam and Teal'c dropped by to help Daniel move in. The teammates and friends ordered pizza and enjoyed their day, but by the end of it, they were all exhausted.
"This is a pretty small place, Daniel," Sam commented as she straightened out a couple of shelves.
"I don't need much room. It's just me after all."
Sam smiled covertly at Daniel, and then Jack. They had told her the real reason for the move, but Teal'c still didn't know about Jack and Daniel being lovers -- at least not officially.
It was almost 1 a.m. Sam and Teal'c had gone, and the house was set up with all the furniture in place. Daniel had things pretty much where he wanted them.
"Don't you think this is a funny place for a bed, Daniel?" Jack said, noticing the smaller bed that Daniel had purchased was sitting almost at an angle in the middle of the room."
"Small house. Besides, it doesn't really matter, does it?"
Jack laughed. "No, it sure doesn't."
"Jack?"
"Yes, Love?"
"Let's go home."
"I thought I was your home."
"Exactly!" Daniel said, shoving Jack down on the bed where they kissed passionately. "This building ... just a house of walls, Jack ... but you, you're my home."
Jack and Daniel made love in the homes of each other's hearts and souls, knowing that the only walls that existed for them, were the walls their two bodies framed together.
~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~
Author: Orrymain
Author Email: marciastudley@comcast.net (Feedback welcome)
Author Website: http://orrymain.raikiri.net/fanfichome.html
Category: Slash, Romance, Established Relationship
Pairing: Jack/Daniel .... and it's all J/D
Rating: PG-13
Season: 7 - late February 2004 (pre-Chimera)
Spoilers: None
Size: 22kb, short story
Written: February 21,25-26,29, 2004
Summary: Daniel decides to buy a house, and Jack wonders why!
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. A gal can dream though!
Notes:
1) This fic stands alone, but it does reference my past fics, "Messages of a Friendship"
2) Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better: Quingem, Suzanna, Claudia, Sheryl!
House of Walls
by Orrymain
"Is this seat taken?" Marie asked.
"No, please," Daniel motioned towards the chair. He had a smile on his face as he struggled to chew the last bite of chicken from the salad he was eating for lunch in the SGC commissary. "How's your day going, Marie?"
"Oh, pretty much the same. It's quiet here today." She watched Daniel nod casually. "Of course, SG-1 hasn't been off-world yet today either," Marie snickered.
Daniel stopped chewing his food, and then when he continued, did it very slowly, almost as if in "slo mo" mode. "Good one, Marie."
"Thank you, Doctor Jackson," the pretty nurse laughed.
Marie liked Daniel. She had from the first moment she had laid eyes on him a few years ago when she joined the staff at Cheyenne Mountain. She'd actually kissed him once, but then he'd taken her to lunch and explained that there could never be anything between them. He was married, and the kiss should never have happened. She had been disappointed, but still held out a small flicker of hope in her heart, especially since he was a widower now.
The two chatted jovially for quite a while about current events, recent missions, Marie's lack of a love life, and Daniel's latest injury, a small paper cut from the day before when he had dropped a file and the edges of one of the papers grazed his finger, resulting in the cut.
"At least it's not infected," Marie said.
"Please, don't even think it. It's still February, and I've already seen more of the infirmary than I care to for the entire year!"
"Oh, Daniel, I've been meaning to tell you. I purchased this really classic looking Egyptian-style wall hanging for my guest room. It's incredible! You should come by and see it one day!"
Daniel nodded in affirmation.
"I love decorating. I change my decor every couple of years. How about you?"
"No, not really. My ... the apartment looks pretty much the same as always."
"You know, I keep wondering why you still live in an apartment. They're so ... temporary. Daniel," Marie leaned forward, "there is this really lovely little house for sale near my home. It's perfect for a bachelor like yourself. You should go by and take a look."
"No, I don't think so. I'm ... happy with the apartment."
"But think of all that money you give to a landlord every month. A house is an investment. You aren't planning on leaving or anything, are you?" she asked hesitantly.
"Oh no, this is ... home now. I, uh, no ... this is home."
"I'm glad, and that's all the more reason to buy a house and really make it your own, you know?"
They chatted a bit longer and then Daniel excused himself to continue the research he was working on.
====
"There ... just a couple more to go," Daniel said to no one as he paid his monthly bills. He'd already taken care of the ones that he was responsible for at the house, and now he was working on the apartment -- gas, electricity, sewer, water, rent. "Okay, let's see ..."
Daniel prepared the online check and sighed. "$1325 for what?"
He switched off the computer and went downstairs. Jack was dusting the furniture, wearing his gray sweatsuit. Daniel had a real affinity for that old gray outfit. He shivered just thinking about the first time he'd taken it off of his husband when they had made love for the first time.
"Jack, I've been thinking ..."
"Should I run and hide?" Jack quipped. Daniel stared him down.
"Sorry. Thinking about what?"
"I, uh ..."
Jack wiped his hands on the rag he had been using. "Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like this?"
"You get feelings? Wow! I'm impressed." Daniel had a smile on his face as he teased the love of his life.
"I'll have you know I've got a feeling right now."
"Do I even want to know?"
"Sure you do, Danny. That's the thing I love about you -- you're so nosey." Jack's chocolate brown eyes were sparkling with life at the little game he and Daniel were playing at the moment.
"I'm not nosey, I'm ... I'm ..."
"Nosey! Full on elephant-like trunky nosey," Jack grinned.
"Your knowledge of the English language never ceases to amaze me, Colonel O'Neill."
"I am an enigma, it's true. I like to think of myself as a man with many layers."
"I'm not stripping you again, Jack -- at least, not now," Daniel spoke with a luster in his eyes. "Honestly! Is everything about ... you know, with you?"
"You know? You're calling it, you know? Geez, Danny, you're getting me all ... up with your sexual innuendos."
"It was not an innuendo!"
"I mean if you want us to get more intimately acquainted, all you had to do was say so."
"What? I never said ..."
"Did, too!"
"Did not!"
"Did!"
"Jack! Can we get back to the point please?"
"See! I told you I had a feeling that you were going to say that."
"You did not!"
"I was going to before you started suggesting you wanted to practice the art of frottage with me."
"You ... I ..."
Jack was totally pleased with himself. Getting Daniel off balance was never easy, but it was one of Jack's favorite sporting events! Nothing in the world was sexier to Jack than when his archaeologist was all befuddled as he was at the moment.
"Well, I'm glad we got that all sorted out. Now can we please get back to the subject at hand, which is that you've been thinking, which for some reason usually means I'm not going to like what I hear."
"That's because you're paranoid!"
"Very funny, Daniel. Are you going to tell me or is this a national secret?"
Daniel took a deep breath and spoke the words about 120 miles per hour. "I think it's a waste of money to pay $1325 a month for an apartment I barely recognize anymore, and I want to buy a house. What do you think?"
Daniel folded his arms and walked a few feet to the other side of his husband. He was waiting for the eruption, and he didn't have to wait very long.
Jack studied Daniel. "Let me get this straight. You want to buy a house, and you're asking me what I think. Have I got that straight?"
"Yes."
"No!"
"No, what?"
"No, Daniel, you are NOT buying a house. You HAVE a house. THIS one! Unless you've decided we need a new one?"
"Gawd, no. I love this house. I mean ... I was thinking I could sub-let the apartment and invest in a house."
"No," Jack said as he turned around to dust the table by the sofa.
"Jack, just listen!"
"NO! NO! NO! Or as you sometimes like to say, NYET!" Jack spoke sarcastically causing Daniel's eyebrows to raise.
"Old history, Love. Jack," Daniel put his finger up in front of his body, "just hear me out."
"WHAT PART OF NO DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU HAVE A HOUSE, DANIEL. WHY ... WHY WOULD YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE?"
"Jack ..."
"Or is there something you want to tell me? WHY? Come on, Daniel, tell me!"
Daniel took a breath and walked towards Jack.
"NO WAY ARE YOU BUYING A FRIGGIN' HOUSE!"
"Jack," Daniel put his arms around his soulmate's neck. He smiled and blinked a couple of times. "Listen ... to ... me," and then Daniel kissed his husband, a full, deep, very wet kiss that had Jack thinking about something other than houses ... for a moment.
"Did you hear that?" Daniel asked when he pulled back.
"You don't need a house. A house is ... permanent. WE'RE PERMANENT. NO! NO! NO!" The veins in Jack's neck bulged as he shouted in Daniel's face. "Nooooommmmmmmph," this second kiss went even deeper than the first. It lasted so long that both men were gasping for air when it stopped.
"Did you hear me that time?" Daniel's soul asked.
"Okay, this ... isn't about us." It was a statement that had really been a question for the older man.
"Exactly. Will you listen now?"
"Why do you want to buy a house?" Jack asked, walking outside of Daniel's personal space, needing some distance to digest what was about to come.
"I was talking to Marie last week, and ..."
"Marie has the hots for you, remember!"
"Jack, come on. That was years ago. Get over it already!"
"She likes you. Be blind if you want, but I see it in her eyes. She wants your body! She wants you to buy a house so she can help you decorate, then cook your dinner, then get where only I get to go, until finally she has somewhere to hang her stockings! I can see them now, draped all around the bathroom."
"Try and get a grip, Jack."
"I'd like to grip her around the neck."
"Marie?"
"Is that what she's calling herself nowadays? Used to go under the name of Mata Hari. She's not interested in your living arrangements Daniel, she's after your ..."
"Body. Yes, I know, you've told me." Daniel smiled a soft, sensuous smile, "Well, if she wants my body, that's too bad for her because my body belongs to a certain Air Force studmuffin."
"Studmuffin," Jack echoed as he folded his arms. Daniel didn't call him that often and usually when he did it was in the throws of passion. Jack had never decided whether or not he approved of the nickname, but one thing he did approve of was the lust in Daniel's eyes whenever his lover spoke the word.
"You want to hear this or not?"
"Go on."
"There's a house she mentioned. She wondered why I hadn't purchased one since I've indicated that I plan to be here for a very long time. Long story short, she also mentioned the investment potential, and that's the thing I haven't been able to get out of my mind."
"Why is she so interested in your living arrangements if she hasn't got a little plan to plant herself in your brand new bedroom?"
"Jack, you really need some therapy. Maybe McKenzie could help you talk through your insecurities."
"Insecurities? That quack? Low blow, Daniel -- which is what she's after, by the way."
"This conversation is getting stranger and stranger by the minute," Daniel said, wondering just how much further down this crazy path they could go. "Do you mind if I continue, or do you have some other words of wisdom you'd like to impart?"
Daniel began to pace a little as he talked, "Jack, I pay $1325 for space that means nothing to us. It's a ... a facade. Think about what that $1325 could mean for our ... our family," he said shyly.
Jack smiled in acknowledgement of their plans to have children at some point in the future.
"For Christmas, you gave me a bond for our children, remember?"
Jack nodded. "Because I think we need to plan, to help them in case stuff happens to us."
"Jack, if I sub-let the apartment, it would pay for itself until the lease expires. And if I bought a house, it would be an investment for our future. As soon as you retire, we could sell it or ..."
Jack couldn't help himself. His breathing was heavy and his blood pressure was on the verge of skyrocketing. He shook his head, "No. I don't care, Daniel. Rent is ... rent!"
"The house that I looked at is only about 12 minutes away, and it ..."
"You looked at a house? You are kidding, aren't you?" Jack's anger increased. "YOU ACTUALLY FRIGGIN' WENT HOUSE-HUNTING WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME?"
"It was on the way ..."
"I DON'T CARE. NO! READ MY LIPS, DANIEL! THE ANSWER IS UNEQUIVALLY NO! YOU ARE NOT BUYING A HOUSE. HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?" Jack turned and stormed outside, not waiting for a response of any kind.
Daniel shook his head and sighed. He stared at the carpet for a minute, and then the sound of the filter drew his attention to his fish. He smiled. "You know, if I didn't love him so much, I'd strangle him myself. But, I do, even when he is a cantankerous old grizzly bear."
Renewing his focus, Daniel went outside. He sat down next to Jack on the patio steps. Jack was petting Bijou, and Katie was sunning herself in the middle of the lawn. Daniel gently rubbed his shoulder against Jack's.
Daniel slipped his arm through Jack's, and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. When he spoke, the words were soft and loving, "Love, if you really don't want me to buy the house, I won't."
Jack looked at Daniel. He spoke sternly. "I don't want you to buy the house."
Daniel nodded, "Okay." He stood and rubbed his hands together for a moment. "Why don't we take the girls for a walk? It's a beautiful day out."
"Sure. Why don't we?" Jack agreed.
The couple went for a nice long walk. They did some more cleaning when they got home, and ate a cozy dinner for two in front of the fireplace. Then, Jack and Daniel watched "Young Frankenstein" on cable before making out for an hour on the sofa, which was the precursor to an intense lovemaking session in their bedroom, after which they fell asleep, completely satiated and happy.
Jack woke up at 4:15 a.m. and wasn't able to go back to sleep. "Danny?" he shook his lover gently.
"Sleeping, shhhhh," Daniel said.
"Okay, Love, but I'm going out on the roof for a while."
"Need pillow. Sleeee..."
"You stay here. I only woke you up because you keep yelling at me for not waking you up, and then you wake up and you're alone and you say you don't like that, not that I'm crazy about it either, but ... oh, for crying out loud, I'm talking to a sleeping geek. Cute, but sleeping."
Jack rolled gently out of Daniel's embrace. He put on his gray sweatsuit again and headed outside. He walked to the railing on the roof deck, pressing his hands against the wooden rail, and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes to take in the crisp feeling of the air.
Then he laughed, "Missed me, eh?"
Daniel yawned. He had put his arms around Jack's waist, and now he leaned his head against Jack's back. He closed his eyes and yawned again.
"J'ck, pillow gone. Why?"
"Tell me about the house, Danny."
Suddenly alert, Daniel's eyes opened. "Look at me," Daniel instructed, spinning his lover around to face him. "I meant what I said. You said you didn't want me to buy it, so I won't."
"You don't need my permission."
"No, I don't, but we're married, Jack, and I don't think we should go out buying houses and things unless we both agree. Do you?"
"You're not angry with me. Why?"
"Because I think I know why you don't want me to."
"Why?"
"You're scared. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you're wondering if I want out. You're thinking I'm looking for some place to run to, or that I want some kind of backup. You're worried I don't love you like I used to. Things like that," Daniel spoke as his hands caressed Jack's chest.
"You ... do love me."
"But not like I used to."
Jack's heart stopped.
"Jack, you crazy loon. Every second of every day, I love you more. Every time, every single time I think that my heart can't hold anymore, I ... I find it's bigger than ever, more wondrous, more complete. It's not anything like it was that very first night, or just last night." Daniel cupped Jack's face, "I love you, Jack, in ways I still can't fathom or understand."
Jack kissed his heart, because Daniel was his heart. He held him close. "I was scared, Danny. I'm sorry. I shouldn't doubt you, not ever."
"You don't."
"What?"
"Jack, I'm the expert on self-doubt. It's not me you were unsure of, was it?"
Jack smiled. "I guess a piece of me still thinks, still wonders, 'why me?"
"The old 'I'm a broken-down Colonel with bad knees' garbage, right?" Daniel asked.
Jack sighed, "Something like that."
"But you know better."
"You keep reminding me."
"And I always will, Jack. Let's go back to bed," Daniel kissed Jack again.
"Angel, please. Tell me about the house, and the logic behind it again."
"Okay. Jack, I checked the zoning laws. When you retire, we could sell it and easily make money on it. It's in a prime location. Or if we wanted to turn it into an office for whatever we end up doing, we could. The zoning there is perfect for small offices that don't use hazardous materials."
"So we'd save the rent money. What about maintenance and the bills?"
"It's a trade off. We could do the outside work ourselves, make it a weekly outting with the girls. There's a big lawn. The house itself is pretty small. The loft almost seems bigger, but the investment potential is huge. And, like I said, it's closer."
"How many times did you have to go back and forth to figure that out?"
"About five. I found the perfect path. Twelve minutes from our home."
Jack nodded.
"Jack, I told you last year that this place was home. That's ... a bit of a lie."
"What?" Jack asked in alarm.
"This," Daniel patted the spot over Jack's heart, "This is my home, right here. Your heart. You're my home, Jack. It doesn't matter where we are, because here," Daniel caressed the spot, "here's where I live. This house. It's full of you. Your scent. Your essence. Memorabilia and things that symbolize you. I love this house. I love it because it's a representation of you."
Daniel kissed Jack briefly on the lips, "Love, the loft, it's space, empty space, and that new house. Jack, it's not home. All it is, all it can ever be, is a house of walls, a structure to store trinkets and furniture that is meaningless, except for the piano. Do you understand? You're my home. That place ... it's just a shelter that we still need to play a game that we both hate, but at least some good could come out of it because in the end, we help secure our children's financial future."
"I love you, Danny."
"I love you, too!"
"Why don't you show me the house tomorrow, and we'll go from there?"
Daniel nodded, but added, "Jack, any doubts at all, and we aren't getting it or any other house. I don't want you to ever second guess this."
"Nah, 12 minutes. When you have to do those fake sleepovers, it'll be easier now."
"Gawd, I love Covert Ops 102."
"The advanced course!" Jack smirked lustfully.
"It was one of your best training ideas ever," Daniel spoke, lust in his eyes from the memories alone.
"We could have some fun with this new house."
"Lots of fun, Jack. New places to ... you know!"
Jack laughed at his lover's modesty. "Don't ever change, Angel."
"Never," Daniel said leaning in for another kiss just before the two collapsed to the ground for an impromptu lovemaking session.
====
Jack looked around the empty apartment. He went to the bedroom where years of memories played through his mind. Eventually, he ended up on the balcony overlooking Colorado Springs.
"You were a good apartment. I didn't hate you. I just hated what you represented. I'm actually going to miss this," Jack touched the balcony railing, "although not the memory of when Danny almost took a header from here."
"Not one of my best memories, either," Daniel smiled as he leaned against the entryway.
"It wasn't a bad place."
"No, it wasn't," Daniel looked around. "It's so empty now."
"Did the Kennedys say when they were moving in?"
"Not until Monday. I think they'll like it here. I did ... that first year."
Jack went to Daniel and scooped him into his arms and kissed him. "You know, Angel, I thought that when we eventually burned the lease to this place that it would mean ..." Jack's voice cracked a little.
Daniel leaned in for a tender kiss, "It won't be long, Jack."
"Come on, you," Jack said, tugging on Daniel's hand, "We have a house to unpack."
The two went to the door and took a final look at the barren loft. Then they faced each other and smiled. Jack turned out the light, and for the last time, Daniel locked the door. They went to the elevator, and in silence rode it down to the ground level. Then they walked to the rental truck parked in the front that was loaded with boxes and furniture from the apartment.
They leaned against the truck and looked up at the apartment balcony.
"Regrets?" Jack asked.
"Not a one. Not a single one. I love you. You're my heart, Jack."
"And you're my soul. We'd better go."
The two drove to the new facade, the new place of their hiding in plain sight game. Sam and Teal'c dropped by to help Daniel move in. The teammates and friends ordered pizza and enjoyed their day, but by the end of it, they were all exhausted.
"This is a pretty small place, Daniel," Sam commented as she straightened out a couple of shelves.
"I don't need much room. It's just me after all."
Sam smiled covertly at Daniel, and then Jack. They had told her the real reason for the move, but Teal'c still didn't know about Jack and Daniel being lovers -- at least not officially.
It was almost 1 a.m. Sam and Teal'c had gone, and the house was set up with all the furniture in place. Daniel had things pretty much where he wanted them.
"Don't you think this is a funny place for a bed, Daniel?" Jack said, noticing the smaller bed that Daniel had purchased was sitting almost at an angle in the middle of the room."
"Small house. Besides, it doesn't really matter, does it?"
Jack laughed. "No, it sure doesn't."
"Jack?"
"Yes, Love?"
"Let's go home."
"I thought I was your home."
"Exactly!" Daniel said, shoving Jack down on the bed where they kissed passionately. "This building ... just a house of walls, Jack ... but you, you're my home."
Jack and Daniel made love in the homes of each other's hearts and souls, knowing that the only walls that existed for them, were the walls their two bodies framed together.
~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~