Chapter 10
A Loving Embrace
Disclaimer: I don't own them....why do I have to put this up everytime? I dunno. Well this one goes out yet again to my wonderful reviewers. You guys keep inspiring me to get out the chappies quickly. I mean, this one is going out not more than four hours after chappy 8... I mean I live for your guys' reviews! Well here it is in all it's wonderful glory! *grins* This chappy is mainly Sev helping Harry overcome his sudden fears and to reassure him. I'm speaking from personal experience here so it helps make it realistic.
Sev holds me in his arms, rocking me back and forth like a little child. That's all it takes to break through my defences and make me break down into tears on his shoulder. I cling to him like a child lost in a storm, sobbing my heart out in his arms, making that wonderful black tank top soggy with pearly tears. He says something over and over, but I can't understand him. I'm crying too much. I do catch the tone of his voice and it's soothing and reassuring. I'd normally have been afraid of showing Sev my fears but I believed him when he said that he loves me. I am so glad that he's here, to help me. As a partner. Not as a teacher or a councelor or anything. He's my partner. I know that. But still it feels like there is something broken inside me. Something that I don't know if can be fixed. I think it's my soul. It shattered with that memory. I felt filthy, like someone that doesn't deserve love. I only deserve what I got, hate and violence. No. Sev said I'm not to blame. I believe him. But oh god.....it's so hard to convince myself of that. My mind keeps replaying those damned memories....Why can't I get them to stop? I want them to stop. I shudder as I see it all over again. My mind doesn't have a stop button! Why can't I just forget? "Sev," I sob. "Can you....." I hiccup, "cast....obliv...obliviate...on," I hiccup again, "me?" He holds me close and smooths down my unruly hair. "Madame Pompfrey already did. I don't think it'd help to do it again Harry. They'd just come back when you least expect them and then you'd be even worse. Cry yourself out now and I'll help you get through this. I promise, Harry, I know how you feel. Are your memories replaying themselves?" I nod and he sighs. "I figured they would. Harry just remember that none of this, I repeat, NONE of this is your fault. I'm going to see if we can't bring that jerkoff that calls himself your uncle can be charged with rape. Your memories will be enough, Harry. That's another good reason not to obliviate them. If we do we'll have no evidence. I'm sorry love, but I can't do what you want." I lean down and cry into his shoulder again, trying to get the little movie that's now playing in my head to stop. Suddenly I remember a voice I heard when I first arrived in the Hospital Wing, right after Madame Pompfrey gave me a potion. "Sev, where you in the Hospital Wing when I was brought in?" I looked at him. "Why, Harry?" he asks me. "I remember hearing a male Professor and Madame Pompfrey was talking to him. Then I remember someone talking to me telling me they'd not leave me. Was it you, Sev?" He nods and I hug him close to me. "You said you'd never leave me. Is that true?" "Harry, love, I wouldn't leave you if my life depended on it, especially not right now. The only thing I can think of is to get you calmed down and take you to see Professor Dumbledore. He'll know who to contact to bring Vernon into a trial. You're still an underage wizard and even if you were adult it's illegal." He soothes me back down to his shoulder. I'm nearly cried out for the moment. "All done, sweetling?" he asks gently, rubbing my back. I nod to him and he slowly wipes away my tears. "Do you want to go see Professor Dumbledore? He'll know what to do," he asks me, quietly. I don't think he wanted to disturb me. "I....I suppose I should. The evidence is getting older by the moment," I sigh, nearly hiccuping again. He stands up with me in his arms as though I didn't weigh a thing. He gently sets me on my feet and grabs my Invisibility cloak. "We'll take this to my office and then go see Dumbledore, ok?" At my nod we walk out the door and I wait for him to take it to his office and rejoin me. I stand up straight, not wanting to show anyone that we were together. "Sev, uh, perhaps you'd better be....oh I don't know, snarly at me? Make it look like your not favoring me, not with me." I whisper to him. He looks down at me and smiles sweetly. "I don't want to but I know it's for the best." He winks at me then says, "Alright Potter, you're coming with me to see Proffessor Dumbledore. He'll know what to do with you." He starts to stalk down the halls like he owns them and it's not till he's walking that I realize he's thrown a robe over his clothes. "Uh, Sev?" I whisper. He stops and turns back to me. "Could we, you know, stop by my room so I can get a robe?" He smiles at me then whispers back, "What and cover up those nice clothes? I don't think the Headmaster will mind." "You're probably right, lead away," I whisper. Good thing there's no one in these halls. They'd have to wonder why we were whispering to each other. He stalked along the corridors, I walked in his wake and looked sullen. We reached the gargoyle guarding Professor Dumbledore's office and Sev spit out the password. "Chocolate Kiss," he hissed and the gargoyle jumped out of the way to reveal the winding staircase. We rode it up and Dumbledore said, joyfully, "Come in Harry, Severus. Tell me what's wrong." Sev stalked in the room and sat down in one of the chairs before Dumbledore. I meekly followed, feeling like I was about to burst into tears again. I sat down gingerly on the other chair and didn't look at either of the men in the room. I studied my hands, like I'd never seen them before. I didn't wanna go over this again. Yet I knew I had to. "Albus, Harry's been raped." Sev told Dumbledore.
Sorry for the cliffy but I'll write the next chappy soon......and have it out probably by today or tomorrow I promise! Don't kill me! ~QoF
Disclaimer: I don't own them....why do I have to put this up everytime? I dunno. Well this one goes out yet again to my wonderful reviewers. You guys keep inspiring me to get out the chappies quickly. I mean, this one is going out not more than four hours after chappy 8... I mean I live for your guys' reviews! Well here it is in all it's wonderful glory! *grins* This chappy is mainly Sev helping Harry overcome his sudden fears and to reassure him. I'm speaking from personal experience here so it helps make it realistic.
Sev holds me in his arms, rocking me back and forth like a little child. That's all it takes to break through my defences and make me break down into tears on his shoulder. I cling to him like a child lost in a storm, sobbing my heart out in his arms, making that wonderful black tank top soggy with pearly tears. He says something over and over, but I can't understand him. I'm crying too much. I do catch the tone of his voice and it's soothing and reassuring. I'd normally have been afraid of showing Sev my fears but I believed him when he said that he loves me. I am so glad that he's here, to help me. As a partner. Not as a teacher or a councelor or anything. He's my partner. I know that. But still it feels like there is something broken inside me. Something that I don't know if can be fixed. I think it's my soul. It shattered with that memory. I felt filthy, like someone that doesn't deserve love. I only deserve what I got, hate and violence. No. Sev said I'm not to blame. I believe him. But oh god.....it's so hard to convince myself of that. My mind keeps replaying those damned memories....Why can't I get them to stop? I want them to stop. I shudder as I see it all over again. My mind doesn't have a stop button! Why can't I just forget? "Sev," I sob. "Can you....." I hiccup, "cast....obliv...obliviate...on," I hiccup again, "me?" He holds me close and smooths down my unruly hair. "Madame Pompfrey already did. I don't think it'd help to do it again Harry. They'd just come back when you least expect them and then you'd be even worse. Cry yourself out now and I'll help you get through this. I promise, Harry, I know how you feel. Are your memories replaying themselves?" I nod and he sighs. "I figured they would. Harry just remember that none of this, I repeat, NONE of this is your fault. I'm going to see if we can't bring that jerkoff that calls himself your uncle can be charged with rape. Your memories will be enough, Harry. That's another good reason not to obliviate them. If we do we'll have no evidence. I'm sorry love, but I can't do what you want." I lean down and cry into his shoulder again, trying to get the little movie that's now playing in my head to stop. Suddenly I remember a voice I heard when I first arrived in the Hospital Wing, right after Madame Pompfrey gave me a potion. "Sev, where you in the Hospital Wing when I was brought in?" I looked at him. "Why, Harry?" he asks me. "I remember hearing a male Professor and Madame Pompfrey was talking to him. Then I remember someone talking to me telling me they'd not leave me. Was it you, Sev?" He nods and I hug him close to me. "You said you'd never leave me. Is that true?" "Harry, love, I wouldn't leave you if my life depended on it, especially not right now. The only thing I can think of is to get you calmed down and take you to see Professor Dumbledore. He'll know who to contact to bring Vernon into a trial. You're still an underage wizard and even if you were adult it's illegal." He soothes me back down to his shoulder. I'm nearly cried out for the moment. "All done, sweetling?" he asks gently, rubbing my back. I nod to him and he slowly wipes away my tears. "Do you want to go see Professor Dumbledore? He'll know what to do," he asks me, quietly. I don't think he wanted to disturb me. "I....I suppose I should. The evidence is getting older by the moment," I sigh, nearly hiccuping again. He stands up with me in his arms as though I didn't weigh a thing. He gently sets me on my feet and grabs my Invisibility cloak. "We'll take this to my office and then go see Dumbledore, ok?" At my nod we walk out the door and I wait for him to take it to his office and rejoin me. I stand up straight, not wanting to show anyone that we were together. "Sev, uh, perhaps you'd better be....oh I don't know, snarly at me? Make it look like your not favoring me, not with me." I whisper to him. He looks down at me and smiles sweetly. "I don't want to but I know it's for the best." He winks at me then says, "Alright Potter, you're coming with me to see Proffessor Dumbledore. He'll know what to do with you." He starts to stalk down the halls like he owns them and it's not till he's walking that I realize he's thrown a robe over his clothes. "Uh, Sev?" I whisper. He stops and turns back to me. "Could we, you know, stop by my room so I can get a robe?" He smiles at me then whispers back, "What and cover up those nice clothes? I don't think the Headmaster will mind." "You're probably right, lead away," I whisper. Good thing there's no one in these halls. They'd have to wonder why we were whispering to each other. He stalked along the corridors, I walked in his wake and looked sullen. We reached the gargoyle guarding Professor Dumbledore's office and Sev spit out the password. "Chocolate Kiss," he hissed and the gargoyle jumped out of the way to reveal the winding staircase. We rode it up and Dumbledore said, joyfully, "Come in Harry, Severus. Tell me what's wrong." Sev stalked in the room and sat down in one of the chairs before Dumbledore. I meekly followed, feeling like I was about to burst into tears again. I sat down gingerly on the other chair and didn't look at either of the men in the room. I studied my hands, like I'd never seen them before. I didn't wanna go over this again. Yet I knew I had to. "Albus, Harry's been raped." Sev told Dumbledore.
Sorry for the cliffy but I'll write the next chappy soon......and have it out probably by today or tomorrow I promise! Don't kill me! ~QoF