Chapter 3: My Last Breath (Will's POV)
Hold on to me love
Oh my god. Please, please tell me that isn't him. No, it can't be. Not now. I'm too far gone to be saved. I can't live now. Please, Jack, please be just a hallucination. Of all the times you could have been real don't let it be now, when I'm about to be as imaginary as you have been in the last two years. Please don't be real.J. Jack? No, oh god no. It is him. Damn you, Jack Sparrow! Why couldn't you have come before? When there was still a hope that we could've been together. Oh, oh I forgive you, Jack. Just hold on to me love.
You know I can't stay long
I feel.warm. You know this is the end for me, Sparrow. You know it, as do I. It is the end for me. It is the end of my life. I've stopped bleeding now. I feel no more blood. You see, Jack? You see what you've done to me? I've bled so much there's nothing left to bleed out anymore.but I can't blame you for that. You were right; I should have gone to a doctor. I admit to it. I would say it, but I'm afraid I can hardly speak. I'm glad you came, Jack. I'm glad that my final moments are with you. I want to but, Jack, you know I can't stay long.
All I wanted to say was I love you
I l... love you, Jack. There, I can rest in peace. I've said it, I won't be unsaying it. But.oh god. Oh god, he said it back. He said it back to me. Jack loves me in return. I am sure of it now. The gods are definitely laughing at me. He says a doctor's coming. Hah! As if I can be saved! Oh Jack, I know now that you love me but I fear that I cannot do what you ask. Those words were the only reason that I stayed this long. All I wanted to say was I love you.
And i'm not afraid
I will leave this world as a better place in one way or another. I have loved, and now I know that I have been loved. It is good to know the love that I felt on the night when I fell in love with you I was feeling your love and not only mine. You've given me the greatest gift possible. You've helped me to overcome my demons in the hour when I would need it most. You've given me the chance to say what I've always wanted to be able to. I'm not afraid.
Can you hear me
Can I .can I go to my bed to die? But no, no I cannot you say. I must hold on. My body betrays me with every half breath I take. Can you hear me? Not going to let me go, he says. Oh, I would believe you my love were it not for the fact that I think you have no choice unless you want to hold on to a corpse. You ask me if I understand. Oh yes, I understand you. Your voice rings clear as the crystal you plunder from the riche's homes. Look at it in the positive light. At least I got to see you. one last time.
Can you feel me in your arms
Ah, my love, you still cling to false hope. I'm not going anywhere, you say. I'm staying here with you, you tell me. Do you really think this possible Jack? Do you think this could really be? I wish I could trust your words, I truly wish that I do. I want to. but I can't I can and I will.well, Jack, I don't think I will be able to heed your wishes. But what is this? Do my eyes deceive me? My god. Your. your crying, Jack!
Holding my last breath
I can't believe it. He's crying for me. Yes, my love, I know I cry too. I know that well. I feel pain. Every kind of pain you can feel I feel a measure of it. A very large measure, to be truthful. I'm strong, he says. Stronger than Jack Sparrow ever was. My god my love, do you think me this strong? You want me to fight this desperately? I'll.I'll try.
Safe inside myself
There, it's finally happened. My whole body just went numb. No more bloody pain. No more anything except that warmth. The warmth of Jack is all I feel as he promises me the world. Take me away from here. He wants me to sail around the world with him. He speaks of my own smithy on an island. Together forever.if this moment can last forever then yes, we can. I shall stay with you, but I'm so very tired. I'm tired.
Are all my thoughts of you
Yes, my love, I know you're real. You're never going to let me go. My thoughts are all of you now. They have been for the past two years since you left. I think of you.all the time. My god, my eyes, they are starting to go out on me. I can't.see.
Sweet raptured light
The light. It's starting to leave. I don't know what light it was. The light was shining in back of you, my love. All I could see was your face surrounded by this light but now little specks of darkness invade the heavenly perfection of that light. The resonating light that I had remembered so strongly. How could I forget it? It never left my mind for one second. Your sweet light now raptured with darkness.
It ends here tonight
It is done. Complete darkness. From what I have heard all I have to do now is wait for the light again.
I'll miss the winter
I'll miss the winter. It was always my favorite season. If I had the need I could always run away from a fight from the school children and trip them on the ice from the sea spray near the docks. And Master Brown.it was so cold in the winter. The winds would come into the drafty forge and chill me to the bone. Master Brown would at least keep me warm in the winter. He would let me sleep in his bed with him. He was also a lot gentler in the winter. He wouldn't take me as much, due to his arthritis. He was nearly crippled from its pain at times. When he was sober, as he always was when he had his bouts of arthritis because I refused to bring him enough alcohol to get him drunk, he was a caring man. He never took me, he never hit me. I'll miss that cold season when I would be happier then any other.
A world of fragile things
It was such a beautiful season. A world of fragile things was a winter in Port Royal. The way the ice would freeze over the trees from the spray of the sea scattered in the winds. The crystallized rocks on the shore side. The fluttering flakes of white snow all around me in a storm.
Look for me hiding in a white forest hiding in a hollow tree
I remember when I used to hide from Master Brown. I remember once I ran into the forest behind the forge and I hid from him in a hollow tree. It was so cold. I had gotten myself stuck in there as well. I remember staying in there the night praying I'd live to see my best friend Elizabeth. I remember being so cold. The next morning I was found, shivering and with frostbite by a hunter. He didn't know where to take me so he brought me to his home. I had Mr. Brown's semen frozen on to my chest. It had drenched my shirt and jacket. I had bruises and cuts and I think he had torn me open. I never learned his name, but I stayed with the kind hunter until missing posters were issued a few days later. Before he saw them I said that I was better even though I was still ill with fever and I took my leave. I never saw him again.
(Come find me)
I feel like I'm in that hollow tree again. I'm lost, I can't find my way. I can't move, I can't do anything except think. I'm lost. Come find me.
I know you hear me; I can taste it in your tears
I know you hear me when I think. You said you knew. You knew and you were sorry you didn't come sooner. I can taste them.your tears. I don't know how but I taste them. The bitter tears you cried for me. The tears that convinced me to fight.
Holding my last breath
I still am shocked that you cried for me, my love. I didn't think that angels could cry. I inhaled long before, and now I am still holding my last breath.
Safe inside myself
I'm safe here, somehow. I'm safe from hurt, from anything that I need to run from. Safe from loving you, safe from Master Brown, the wounds from my flogging, loneliness, despair, safe from the pain. When I am asleep.or whatever this might be, I am safe. Safe inside myself.
Are all my thoughts of you
I remember the day I first met you my love. How we dueled in my smithy, how my bastard Master clocked you with a rum bottle like he had done to me many times, how I was once again given no credit and my master was thanked for what I'd done. Doing his civic duty indeed. If his civic duty would be to knock innocent people out then job well done, Master. My god, I can't even lay here now without thinking of you. Are all my thoughts of you?
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight
Will I ever be able to wake up again? Will I ever be able to see that beautiful light? That sweet, raptured light that I saw in my final moments before the darkness took me. I suppose not. Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight.
Closing your eyes to disappear
I need this. I need this solitude all the time if I am to live. I need to be invisible. Even more then I am now, that is. No one really ever takes notice of me. Perhaps they go out of their way not to. But whenever Master Brown takes me that's what I do. Close my eyes and disappear.
You pray your dreams will leave you here
I wish I could be left here forever. Left to drift in the nothingness of this strange dormancy. Every day for the past two years since you left I have prayed it. I prayed that my dreams would let me stay where I can feel the Caribbean breeze without feeling pains from the salt on the air stinging whatever wound I had received from my master the last night. A place where even if there is a storm you never get wet. You stay warm, and dry. You lay and dream about living on the high seas with you, love, and about everything else I've wanted to do. I pray for it every night that my dreams would leave me here.
But still you wake and know the truth
But no, no it is not to be. I receive some pity and relief from my suffering but sleep always leaves me in the end. I suppose that I wanted a bit of a fairytale viewpoint. That you, the dashing young prince would come and save the.other dashing young prince who has fallen into a deep sleep, only to be awakened with a kiss. Sometimes before three days ago when I lost the memory I felt your warmth like this as if you were lying next to me. But still, I wake up every morning and I stretch my hopeful arm out to the other side of the bed. And it broke my heart a little more every time I felt nothing but cold bed sheets.
No one's there
No one's ever there! I hate to feel nothing except cold and for the last three days that is all I have felt! No one's there!
Say goodnight
Oh.oh my. What is this? Everything is starting to fade. Everything. Jack.no. No not again I haven't lost it again. No! I have lost it again! I've lost your warmth, Jack. Maybe you think I'm dead. Oh my. Master Brown? No god! Please not let him have reached me here! Oh no, did I hear what he just said. I did. I heard right. He said to "say goodnight." NO!
Don't be afraid
He couldn't hurt me here. This is my mind. I can allow into it whom I will and he is not allowed. Ah, there is Jack's face. That is what I do wish to see. He is hazy. he is saying something. I think. it is. He's telling me. don't be afraid.
Calling me, calling me as you fade to black
He's calling my name. Calling it to me. He's fading again. He's fading into darkness once more. No, no, Jack I want you to stay. Stay with me, Jack no! Jack, Jack stay.Jack, Jack, don't fade. JACK!
Hold on to me love
Oh my god. Please, please tell me that isn't him. No, it can't be. Not now. I'm too far gone to be saved. I can't live now. Please, Jack, please be just a hallucination. Of all the times you could have been real don't let it be now, when I'm about to be as imaginary as you have been in the last two years. Please don't be real.J. Jack? No, oh god no. It is him. Damn you, Jack Sparrow! Why couldn't you have come before? When there was still a hope that we could've been together. Oh, oh I forgive you, Jack. Just hold on to me love.
You know I can't stay long
I feel.warm. You know this is the end for me, Sparrow. You know it, as do I. It is the end for me. It is the end of my life. I've stopped bleeding now. I feel no more blood. You see, Jack? You see what you've done to me? I've bled so much there's nothing left to bleed out anymore.but I can't blame you for that. You were right; I should have gone to a doctor. I admit to it. I would say it, but I'm afraid I can hardly speak. I'm glad you came, Jack. I'm glad that my final moments are with you. I want to but, Jack, you know I can't stay long.
All I wanted to say was I love you
I l... love you, Jack. There, I can rest in peace. I've said it, I won't be unsaying it. But.oh god. Oh god, he said it back. He said it back to me. Jack loves me in return. I am sure of it now. The gods are definitely laughing at me. He says a doctor's coming. Hah! As if I can be saved! Oh Jack, I know now that you love me but I fear that I cannot do what you ask. Those words were the only reason that I stayed this long. All I wanted to say was I love you.
And i'm not afraid
I will leave this world as a better place in one way or another. I have loved, and now I know that I have been loved. It is good to know the love that I felt on the night when I fell in love with you I was feeling your love and not only mine. You've given me the greatest gift possible. You've helped me to overcome my demons in the hour when I would need it most. You've given me the chance to say what I've always wanted to be able to. I'm not afraid.
Can you hear me
Can I .can I go to my bed to die? But no, no I cannot you say. I must hold on. My body betrays me with every half breath I take. Can you hear me? Not going to let me go, he says. Oh, I would believe you my love were it not for the fact that I think you have no choice unless you want to hold on to a corpse. You ask me if I understand. Oh yes, I understand you. Your voice rings clear as the crystal you plunder from the riche's homes. Look at it in the positive light. At least I got to see you. one last time.
Can you feel me in your arms
Ah, my love, you still cling to false hope. I'm not going anywhere, you say. I'm staying here with you, you tell me. Do you really think this possible Jack? Do you think this could really be? I wish I could trust your words, I truly wish that I do. I want to. but I can't I can and I will.well, Jack, I don't think I will be able to heed your wishes. But what is this? Do my eyes deceive me? My god. Your. your crying, Jack!
Holding my last breath
I can't believe it. He's crying for me. Yes, my love, I know I cry too. I know that well. I feel pain. Every kind of pain you can feel I feel a measure of it. A very large measure, to be truthful. I'm strong, he says. Stronger than Jack Sparrow ever was. My god my love, do you think me this strong? You want me to fight this desperately? I'll.I'll try.
Safe inside myself
There, it's finally happened. My whole body just went numb. No more bloody pain. No more anything except that warmth. The warmth of Jack is all I feel as he promises me the world. Take me away from here. He wants me to sail around the world with him. He speaks of my own smithy on an island. Together forever.if this moment can last forever then yes, we can. I shall stay with you, but I'm so very tired. I'm tired.
Are all my thoughts of you
Yes, my love, I know you're real. You're never going to let me go. My thoughts are all of you now. They have been for the past two years since you left. I think of you.all the time. My god, my eyes, they are starting to go out on me. I can't.see.
Sweet raptured light
The light. It's starting to leave. I don't know what light it was. The light was shining in back of you, my love. All I could see was your face surrounded by this light but now little specks of darkness invade the heavenly perfection of that light. The resonating light that I had remembered so strongly. How could I forget it? It never left my mind for one second. Your sweet light now raptured with darkness.
It ends here tonight
It is done. Complete darkness. From what I have heard all I have to do now is wait for the light again.
I'll miss the winter
I'll miss the winter. It was always my favorite season. If I had the need I could always run away from a fight from the school children and trip them on the ice from the sea spray near the docks. And Master Brown.it was so cold in the winter. The winds would come into the drafty forge and chill me to the bone. Master Brown would at least keep me warm in the winter. He would let me sleep in his bed with him. He was also a lot gentler in the winter. He wouldn't take me as much, due to his arthritis. He was nearly crippled from its pain at times. When he was sober, as he always was when he had his bouts of arthritis because I refused to bring him enough alcohol to get him drunk, he was a caring man. He never took me, he never hit me. I'll miss that cold season when I would be happier then any other.
A world of fragile things
It was such a beautiful season. A world of fragile things was a winter in Port Royal. The way the ice would freeze over the trees from the spray of the sea scattered in the winds. The crystallized rocks on the shore side. The fluttering flakes of white snow all around me in a storm.
Look for me hiding in a white forest hiding in a hollow tree
I remember when I used to hide from Master Brown. I remember once I ran into the forest behind the forge and I hid from him in a hollow tree. It was so cold. I had gotten myself stuck in there as well. I remember staying in there the night praying I'd live to see my best friend Elizabeth. I remember being so cold. The next morning I was found, shivering and with frostbite by a hunter. He didn't know where to take me so he brought me to his home. I had Mr. Brown's semen frozen on to my chest. It had drenched my shirt and jacket. I had bruises and cuts and I think he had torn me open. I never learned his name, but I stayed with the kind hunter until missing posters were issued a few days later. Before he saw them I said that I was better even though I was still ill with fever and I took my leave. I never saw him again.
(Come find me)
I feel like I'm in that hollow tree again. I'm lost, I can't find my way. I can't move, I can't do anything except think. I'm lost. Come find me.
I know you hear me; I can taste it in your tears
I know you hear me when I think. You said you knew. You knew and you were sorry you didn't come sooner. I can taste them.your tears. I don't know how but I taste them. The bitter tears you cried for me. The tears that convinced me to fight.
Holding my last breath
I still am shocked that you cried for me, my love. I didn't think that angels could cry. I inhaled long before, and now I am still holding my last breath.
Safe inside myself
I'm safe here, somehow. I'm safe from hurt, from anything that I need to run from. Safe from loving you, safe from Master Brown, the wounds from my flogging, loneliness, despair, safe from the pain. When I am asleep.or whatever this might be, I am safe. Safe inside myself.
Are all my thoughts of you
I remember the day I first met you my love. How we dueled in my smithy, how my bastard Master clocked you with a rum bottle like he had done to me many times, how I was once again given no credit and my master was thanked for what I'd done. Doing his civic duty indeed. If his civic duty would be to knock innocent people out then job well done, Master. My god, I can't even lay here now without thinking of you. Are all my thoughts of you?
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight
Will I ever be able to wake up again? Will I ever be able to see that beautiful light? That sweet, raptured light that I saw in my final moments before the darkness took me. I suppose not. Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight.
Closing your eyes to disappear
I need this. I need this solitude all the time if I am to live. I need to be invisible. Even more then I am now, that is. No one really ever takes notice of me. Perhaps they go out of their way not to. But whenever Master Brown takes me that's what I do. Close my eyes and disappear.
You pray your dreams will leave you here
I wish I could be left here forever. Left to drift in the nothingness of this strange dormancy. Every day for the past two years since you left I have prayed it. I prayed that my dreams would let me stay where I can feel the Caribbean breeze without feeling pains from the salt on the air stinging whatever wound I had received from my master the last night. A place where even if there is a storm you never get wet. You stay warm, and dry. You lay and dream about living on the high seas with you, love, and about everything else I've wanted to do. I pray for it every night that my dreams would leave me here.
But still you wake and know the truth
But no, no it is not to be. I receive some pity and relief from my suffering but sleep always leaves me in the end. I suppose that I wanted a bit of a fairytale viewpoint. That you, the dashing young prince would come and save the.other dashing young prince who has fallen into a deep sleep, only to be awakened with a kiss. Sometimes before three days ago when I lost the memory I felt your warmth like this as if you were lying next to me. But still, I wake up every morning and I stretch my hopeful arm out to the other side of the bed. And it broke my heart a little more every time I felt nothing but cold bed sheets.
No one's there
No one's ever there! I hate to feel nothing except cold and for the last three days that is all I have felt! No one's there!
Say goodnight
Oh.oh my. What is this? Everything is starting to fade. Everything. Jack.no. No not again I haven't lost it again. No! I have lost it again! I've lost your warmth, Jack. Maybe you think I'm dead. Oh my. Master Brown? No god! Please not let him have reached me here! Oh no, did I hear what he just said. I did. I heard right. He said to "say goodnight." NO!
Don't be afraid
He couldn't hurt me here. This is my mind. I can allow into it whom I will and he is not allowed. Ah, there is Jack's face. That is what I do wish to see. He is hazy. he is saying something. I think. it is. He's telling me. don't be afraid.
Calling me, calling me as you fade to black
He's calling my name. Calling it to me. He's fading again. He's fading into darkness once more. No, no, Jack I want you to stay. Stay with me, Jack no! Jack, Jack stay.Jack, Jack, don't fade. JACK!