Chapter Two-- Cat Lovers Beware!
Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Draco (No longer a cat, but merely a rather bruised arch-enemy) were sitting in the Great Hall during lunch. For some reason, they were at the same table, and I don't wish to explain any further.
It was decided that Professor Snape would be the new headmaster, so basically the school was going down the crapper, if you'll excuse my Finnish. I think.
"Today, we will be taking points from Gryffindor and making me a crown, because I said so! 200 ZILLION points from Gryffindor!" Snape said. A tomato hit him in the face. "Who threw that tomato!?" he yelled.
Draco, to everyone's surprise, stood up. He almost fell over and broke his hip (again), but he stood up. "I did!"
Snape turned him into a cat.
"This most definitely sucks," said Draco as Hermione, instincts taking over, slammed him into Fred Weasley's noggin.
"Hehe, noggin, that's a fun-"
"SHUT IT, HARRY!!"
Anyway, Snape was not at all happy about having fresh produce thrown at him. So he wiped the soggy tomato juice off his face and threw it at Draco. Draco didn't feel a thing, as he was unconscious. Fred Weasley, however, definitely felt a wad of tomato connect with his ear. He reacted by throwing Draco at Snape.
Draco woke up. "AAAAAHHHHH-"
BAM. Fred missed, and Draco was catapulted instead into a portrait of Gandalf the Grey. The last thing he thought before touchdown was 'Hey, I think that guy has a wart.'
Percy Weasley came running into the Hall, waving his arms rapidly. "Help, help, someone told me a joke and I DON'T GET IT!!!"
Hermione jumped up and threw him bodily to the floor. "What was the joke?"
"'Why did the chicken cross the road?' 'To get to the other side.' I DON'T GET IT!! Help meeeeee.." Percy then proceeded to curl up on the floor in the fetal position and suck his thumb.
Everyone, in unison, smacked their foreheads and turned Percy into a ferret.
Draco wobbled over to Ferret-Percy. "Hey, bro! High-five."
Percy threw him at the wall. Everyone applauded politely, and voted for Percy as Mr. Ferret Universe.
Just then Mad-Eye Moody came bursting into the room, and everyone ran for cover. The only one still in the open was Percy the Ferret-Boy. Upon seeing Moody, Percy's poor fur all turned white.
"Yaaaahhh!! White ferret!! MUST... BOUNCE!!" Moody pulled out his wand and made the ferret bounce off the ground, going higher into the air and coming back to earth with a resounding SMACK.
But no one stopped him in time, and Percy went too high, SMACKing into the magically enchanted ceiling.
"That's my brother, you dimwit!" Ron yelled, catching Percy so he didn't SMACK on the floor again.
Moody turned Ron into a cat. Then he turned Crabbe and Goyle into cats, and then Madam Hooch. All the cats just stood still, not knowing what to do.
Back at the edge of the hall, Fred and George Weasley were trying to restrain Hermione by slapping her with live tuna.
For Hermy, however, cat-throwing instincts were dominant, and the smack of the fish across her face was but nothing compared to the will to slam feline animals into walls. "MUST...THROW...CATS!!" She burst free of the fish-slapping twins and ran willy-nilly to the middle of the Hall. "YYYAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"
Crabbe, Goyle, Ron, Draco, and Madam Hooch screamed bloody cat murder and tried to run, but Hermione was too quick for them.
Hermione flung Madam Hooch into Moody's face, threw Draco and Ron into a bowl of pumpkin juice, and Crabbe was soon clinging to the chandeliers. She punted Goyle halfway across the room, and he sounded and looked like one of those 'Screeching footballs' that were so popular a year ago. Fur flew, and within two minutes the cats were all rendered unconscious. Many students fled the Hall in fear of Hermione's cat-oriented rage.
In a flash of Moody's amused and torturous mind, half the people remaining Great Hall were turned into cats.
Hermione stared for a second or two. ".CCAAAATTSSS!!!"
The people that were now cats screeched and ran up the draperies. Snape called for order, just as Hermione began scaling the hangings.
"I call for order!" yelled Snape. Fawkes flew through the window and almost ate him, but quickly spit him back out because he was much too greasy for Fawkes' tastes, thank-you-very-much.
Fred and George ran over to Hermione, dragged her down from the drapes, and started slapping her with tuna again. Ron handed out tuna to all the non-feline students, and they joined in, especially those who were cat-lovers.
"Ha ha!" Percy the ferret stood up weakly at Hermione being beaten up by half the school armed with fish and laughed.
Fawkes flew through the window and ate him.
Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Draco (No longer a cat, but merely a rather bruised arch-enemy) were sitting in the Great Hall during lunch. For some reason, they were at the same table, and I don't wish to explain any further.
It was decided that Professor Snape would be the new headmaster, so basically the school was going down the crapper, if you'll excuse my Finnish. I think.
"Today, we will be taking points from Gryffindor and making me a crown, because I said so! 200 ZILLION points from Gryffindor!" Snape said. A tomato hit him in the face. "Who threw that tomato!?" he yelled.
Draco, to everyone's surprise, stood up. He almost fell over and broke his hip (again), but he stood up. "I did!"
Snape turned him into a cat.
"This most definitely sucks," said Draco as Hermione, instincts taking over, slammed him into Fred Weasley's noggin.
"Hehe, noggin, that's a fun-"
"SHUT IT, HARRY!!"
Anyway, Snape was not at all happy about having fresh produce thrown at him. So he wiped the soggy tomato juice off his face and threw it at Draco. Draco didn't feel a thing, as he was unconscious. Fred Weasley, however, definitely felt a wad of tomato connect with his ear. He reacted by throwing Draco at Snape.
Draco woke up. "AAAAAHHHHH-"
BAM. Fred missed, and Draco was catapulted instead into a portrait of Gandalf the Grey. The last thing he thought before touchdown was 'Hey, I think that guy has a wart.'
Percy Weasley came running into the Hall, waving his arms rapidly. "Help, help, someone told me a joke and I DON'T GET IT!!!"
Hermione jumped up and threw him bodily to the floor. "What was the joke?"
"'Why did the chicken cross the road?' 'To get to the other side.' I DON'T GET IT!! Help meeeeee.." Percy then proceeded to curl up on the floor in the fetal position and suck his thumb.
Everyone, in unison, smacked their foreheads and turned Percy into a ferret.
Draco wobbled over to Ferret-Percy. "Hey, bro! High-five."
Percy threw him at the wall. Everyone applauded politely, and voted for Percy as Mr. Ferret Universe.
Just then Mad-Eye Moody came bursting into the room, and everyone ran for cover. The only one still in the open was Percy the Ferret-Boy. Upon seeing Moody, Percy's poor fur all turned white.
"Yaaaahhh!! White ferret!! MUST... BOUNCE!!" Moody pulled out his wand and made the ferret bounce off the ground, going higher into the air and coming back to earth with a resounding SMACK.
But no one stopped him in time, and Percy went too high, SMACKing into the magically enchanted ceiling.
"That's my brother, you dimwit!" Ron yelled, catching Percy so he didn't SMACK on the floor again.
Moody turned Ron into a cat. Then he turned Crabbe and Goyle into cats, and then Madam Hooch. All the cats just stood still, not knowing what to do.
Back at the edge of the hall, Fred and George Weasley were trying to restrain Hermione by slapping her with live tuna.
For Hermy, however, cat-throwing instincts were dominant, and the smack of the fish across her face was but nothing compared to the will to slam feline animals into walls. "MUST...THROW...CATS!!" She burst free of the fish-slapping twins and ran willy-nilly to the middle of the Hall. "YYYAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"
Crabbe, Goyle, Ron, Draco, and Madam Hooch screamed bloody cat murder and tried to run, but Hermione was too quick for them.
Hermione flung Madam Hooch into Moody's face, threw Draco and Ron into a bowl of pumpkin juice, and Crabbe was soon clinging to the chandeliers. She punted Goyle halfway across the room, and he sounded and looked like one of those 'Screeching footballs' that were so popular a year ago. Fur flew, and within two minutes the cats were all rendered unconscious. Many students fled the Hall in fear of Hermione's cat-oriented rage.
In a flash of Moody's amused and torturous mind, half the people remaining Great Hall were turned into cats.
Hermione stared for a second or two. ".CCAAAATTSSS!!!"
The people that were now cats screeched and ran up the draperies. Snape called for order, just as Hermione began scaling the hangings.
"I call for order!" yelled Snape. Fawkes flew through the window and almost ate him, but quickly spit him back out because he was much too greasy for Fawkes' tastes, thank-you-very-much.
Fred and George ran over to Hermione, dragged her down from the drapes, and started slapping her with tuna again. Ron handed out tuna to all the non-feline students, and they joined in, especially those who were cat-lovers.
"Ha ha!" Percy the ferret stood up weakly at Hermione being beaten up by half the school armed with fish and laughed.
Fawkes flew through the window and ate him.