A/N: Moohaha!! Now to continue my Hungarian rendition of the Song That
Never Ends!!
All: That's not what you were doing!!
Ohh yeah, huh? I was writing a story! About Hermione and her cat-throwing ancestry!
Random Messenger: Delivery!! Delivery for Llama Bob!!
That would be me! *Waves at Random Messenger*
Random Messenger: *Throws the keys to a truckload of sugar at Rubi and/or Llama Bob* Bye! *Waves at camera on his way out*
*Catches the keys and reads the card* 'From nox.' YAY! Thanks, nox! And now. for the story!
****** Chapter Three-- The Return of McCrusher
Now, naturally, when Professor McGon-- I mean, Professor McCrusher heard about Hermione's cat-throwing obsession, she was miffed. Being a cat animagus herself, you know. So she packed up her stuff, moved back to Hogwarts, and became Headmistress.
Almost.
For you see, Hermione wasn't too keen upon giving up her Headmistress throne. And Snape, to everyone's vast surprise, had flat-out died. Too many cats to the head, I suppose. Or perhaps almost being eaten by Fawkes had given him a heart attack. To be honest, nobody really cared. He was buried under the Dungeons, which were then caved in so he couldn't get out, should he suddenly come alive for some reason.
McCrusher arrived at Hogwarts in the midst of a giant party. A group of students had TP'ed the Whomping Willow (Resulting in the deaths and/or concussions of many first-years) and rock music was blasting from the Great Hall. The remaining teachers, it appeared, had barricaded themselves in the greenhouses.
"Yo, it's Professor McGonagall back from Iceland!" Yelled Harry, who was standing on top of the Gryffindor table acting as deejay.
"It's Professor McCrusher, Harry dear."
Suddenly a cat (Draco, in fact) flew over everyone's collective heads and smacked McCrusher in the face. Hermione climbed up the draperies on the side of the Hall and sat on the curtain rail, making herself a pair of cat ears and a tail. Actually, she'd stolen the tail from the London production of the musical CATS (Which had been a horrid disaster because. you know), but was just saying that she'd made it.
McCrusher looked up at her. "You threw that cat! I challenge you to... a wrestling match!"
The music stopped with a scratch. Everyone in the hall stared in silence as Hermione scrabbled down the curtains (Falling halfway and landing on Draco) and stood in front of McCrusher, chewing on a piece of catnip. "I accept."
"Oh, goody." McCrusher wasted no time in conjuring up a wrestling ring (Squashing a few students in the process) and running off to her old office to change into her new wrestling uniform. Hermione dashed off to the Gryffindor girls' dormitory, broke up the game of Truth-or-Dare that was going on, and began making a proper wrestling outfit appear.
=========~~*~*~**
Twenty minutes later, the tables in the Great Hall had been replaced by bleachers to seat the entire school, all cats had been locked up in the Slytherin common room (except for one, who had insisted upon watching the cat-thrower get 'slaughtered'-this was Draco, of course). Harry was selling tickets and Ron was running a concession stand, and many people were soon in dire need of the bathroom. A few of the teachers were even there, albeit looking mighty jumpy.
Then, Hermione was lowered into the ring on a rope from the ceiling. She was wearing a white unitard with matching leg- and arm warmers (Also stolen from the set of CATS) and black knee-high leather boots, with her cat tail on a wide belt around her waist. Her cat ears were now made of aluminum for some reason, and a string of fake pearls was dangling from her (real) ears--from one to the other behind her head--as a sort of fancy earring that could also be used as a lethal weapon. She had also magicked cat makeup onto her face that could only be washed off with a spell. Her long, bushy hair was pulled back in a high ponytail.
"Ooooooh... Aaaaaahhhhh...." The Hall was in awe. Hermione bowed and took her place in one corner of the ring, blowing kisses to a few boys.
An hour later, Hermione was still in her corner, now playing paddleball, and everyone was still waiting for Professor McCrusher to arrive. Finally, she did, on a glitzy rope from the ceiling.
Professor McCrusher's outfit was a sickly green unitard with gold shiny stars on it, a tutu-like skirt, and purple pantyhose. She was also wearing huge black combat boots and had her hair up in a grey bun at the back of her head. She had also used irremovable makeup-two black stars around her eyes. A pink headband with antenna-like attachments was dangling off of her head. The overall impression was a bit... well....
"Aahhh!! It buurrns!!" The Hall was clutching their eyes and rolling on the floor in agony. McCrusher gave them the finger.
"Professor!" Hermione yelled indignantly. "That is not how you treat your fans!"
"Tell it to a wrestler who cares!!" Countered McCrusher as she barreled towards Hermione..
***TO BE CONTINUED***
All: That's not what you were doing!!
Ohh yeah, huh? I was writing a story! About Hermione and her cat-throwing ancestry!
Random Messenger: Delivery!! Delivery for Llama Bob!!
That would be me! *Waves at Random Messenger*
Random Messenger: *Throws the keys to a truckload of sugar at Rubi and/or Llama Bob* Bye! *Waves at camera on his way out*
*Catches the keys and reads the card* 'From nox.' YAY! Thanks, nox! And now. for the story!
****** Chapter Three-- The Return of McCrusher
Now, naturally, when Professor McGon-- I mean, Professor McCrusher heard about Hermione's cat-throwing obsession, she was miffed. Being a cat animagus herself, you know. So she packed up her stuff, moved back to Hogwarts, and became Headmistress.
Almost.
For you see, Hermione wasn't too keen upon giving up her Headmistress throne. And Snape, to everyone's vast surprise, had flat-out died. Too many cats to the head, I suppose. Or perhaps almost being eaten by Fawkes had given him a heart attack. To be honest, nobody really cared. He was buried under the Dungeons, which were then caved in so he couldn't get out, should he suddenly come alive for some reason.
McCrusher arrived at Hogwarts in the midst of a giant party. A group of students had TP'ed the Whomping Willow (Resulting in the deaths and/or concussions of many first-years) and rock music was blasting from the Great Hall. The remaining teachers, it appeared, had barricaded themselves in the greenhouses.
"Yo, it's Professor McGonagall back from Iceland!" Yelled Harry, who was standing on top of the Gryffindor table acting as deejay.
"It's Professor McCrusher, Harry dear."
Suddenly a cat (Draco, in fact) flew over everyone's collective heads and smacked McCrusher in the face. Hermione climbed up the draperies on the side of the Hall and sat on the curtain rail, making herself a pair of cat ears and a tail. Actually, she'd stolen the tail from the London production of the musical CATS (Which had been a horrid disaster because. you know), but was just saying that she'd made it.
McCrusher looked up at her. "You threw that cat! I challenge you to... a wrestling match!"
The music stopped with a scratch. Everyone in the hall stared in silence as Hermione scrabbled down the curtains (Falling halfway and landing on Draco) and stood in front of McCrusher, chewing on a piece of catnip. "I accept."
"Oh, goody." McCrusher wasted no time in conjuring up a wrestling ring (Squashing a few students in the process) and running off to her old office to change into her new wrestling uniform. Hermione dashed off to the Gryffindor girls' dormitory, broke up the game of Truth-or-Dare that was going on, and began making a proper wrestling outfit appear.
=========~~*~*~**
Twenty minutes later, the tables in the Great Hall had been replaced by bleachers to seat the entire school, all cats had been locked up in the Slytherin common room (except for one, who had insisted upon watching the cat-thrower get 'slaughtered'-this was Draco, of course). Harry was selling tickets and Ron was running a concession stand, and many people were soon in dire need of the bathroom. A few of the teachers were even there, albeit looking mighty jumpy.
Then, Hermione was lowered into the ring on a rope from the ceiling. She was wearing a white unitard with matching leg- and arm warmers (Also stolen from the set of CATS) and black knee-high leather boots, with her cat tail on a wide belt around her waist. Her cat ears were now made of aluminum for some reason, and a string of fake pearls was dangling from her (real) ears--from one to the other behind her head--as a sort of fancy earring that could also be used as a lethal weapon. She had also magicked cat makeup onto her face that could only be washed off with a spell. Her long, bushy hair was pulled back in a high ponytail.
"Ooooooh... Aaaaaahhhhh...." The Hall was in awe. Hermione bowed and took her place in one corner of the ring, blowing kisses to a few boys.
An hour later, Hermione was still in her corner, now playing paddleball, and everyone was still waiting for Professor McCrusher to arrive. Finally, she did, on a glitzy rope from the ceiling.
Professor McCrusher's outfit was a sickly green unitard with gold shiny stars on it, a tutu-like skirt, and purple pantyhose. She was also wearing huge black combat boots and had her hair up in a grey bun at the back of her head. She had also used irremovable makeup-two black stars around her eyes. A pink headband with antenna-like attachments was dangling off of her head. The overall impression was a bit... well....
"Aahhh!! It buurrns!!" The Hall was clutching their eyes and rolling on the floor in agony. McCrusher gave them the finger.
"Professor!" Hermione yelled indignantly. "That is not how you treat your fans!"
"Tell it to a wrestler who cares!!" Countered McCrusher as she barreled towards Hermione..
***TO BE CONTINUED***