A/N: Since I ended with a bit of a cliffhanger, I'll just start right where
we left off.... And OH YEAH, eh-hehe, I'm putting myself in my own story,
as well as four of nox's characters. *Grins innocently* What?? I'm the one
writing this junk I call a story...
******
"Professor!" Hermione yelled indignantly. "That is not how you treat your fans!"
"Tell it to a wrestler who cares!!" Countered McCrusher as she barreled towards Hermione....
****** Chapter Four: The Outcome of the Wrestling Match and the Plot Thickens-- Or Rather, Appears for the First Time
...who quickly sidestepped the ex-teacher, causing her to slam into the rubber railing.
The entire hall cheered, and Harry, who had given up deejay-ing in pursuit of commentating, yelled every millisecond of the happenings into a bullhorn. God help us.
McCrusher had Hermione in a fierce feline headlock, while Hermione desperately tried to pick up the cat-teacher and chuck her at someone's head.
Crusher broke away from Hermione, and-- pulled out her wand! Hey, that's not in the rules!!
"Shut up, I'm a wrestler!!" McCrusher yelled at the narrator. "Serpensortia!"
A giant snake flew out of her wand and landed in front of Hermione, who immediately whipped off her pearl-strand-earring-
"OWW!!"
What NOW?
"Whipping out the earring... that hurts, dammit!" Hermione screamed heavenward.
Oh fine, the narrator said... but this is the last time. I can't stand repeating myself.
A giant snake flew out of Crusher's wand and landed in front of Hermione, who carefully and painlessly took off her pearl-strand-earring, and, using it like a rather glamorous whip, flung the snake across the hall, where it landed on Justin Finch-Fletchley and choked him to death.
"Sorry!" Hermione yelled at Justin, just as she had to go head-to- head with the ex-deputy-headmistress, using a false earring/lethal weapon.
'I know!' McCrusher thought. 'I'll transfigure into a cat! Ha, what a stroke of genius!'
So she did. (Her costume shrunk to fit, by the way.)
Which was a baaaadd idea.
For as soon as she did, something in Hermione snapped. She now saw nothing but cats. Grey cats were staring at her from outside the ring, along with orange cats that were hanging off of the draperies and black-and- white spotted cats that were meowing at her, saying, "Hermione! Hermione! You need to throw us ALL out the windows! And into the ceiling! It's in your BLOOD! You have cat-throwing ancestry in your VEINS! And ARTERIES! And- " The narrator shut them all up with her electric can opener.
Hermione went mad. She picked up a screaming McCrusher and whammed her into the mat, then jumped out of the ring and went berserk, throwing every 'cat' into another 'cat' until she could be restrained by Fred, George, and their Amazing Healing Tuna Fish (Only $10 on E-bay!).
Harry rubbed his sore noggin. "We have to do something about her... Did I mention, hehe... noggin is a fun- AWWK!!"
Everyone in the Great Hall hexed him in unison. The Potter...thing slithered over to a corner and stayed there for most of the chapter.
Fred and George tied, chained, and double-bolted a screaming Hermione to a chair and covered her neck-deep in fresh tuna. "That should hold her."
Hermione began screaming curses at no one in particular at the top of her lungs until Fred gagged her with a spare tuna.
Ron, still in bruised-and-battered cat form, walked over. "So, what do we do now??"
Professor Sprout came in from the greenhouses just then, surveyed the damage, and conjured up a bottle of bright fuchsia and lime green-swirled liquid, looking concerned. "Oh dear... I heard about Hermione's knack for throwing things, but this is just horrid... Anyway, what I have here is a serum that should help her resist the cat-throwing gene that makes her want to hurl Draco out the window and drop-kick one of his cronies across the room..."
Draco, at that moment, came wobbling over on his three broken paws and looked up at Sprout. "Oh, joy--the Mudblood'll be better. I'm SAFE!"
Sprout picked him up and drop-kicked him out the window. Draco could be heard screaming "MRRRWWEEEEERRRRRROOOOWWWWWRR-" SPLASH.
Sprout dusted off her hands and picked up the vial once again. "Now, that takes care of that." The students could only stare as she walked calmly over to Hermione and started pouring the bottle of ugly liquid down her throat.
Hermione went berserk, and swiped the vial out of Sprout's hand when it was about halfway gone. The vial flew out of the window, into the lake, and landed on a rather soggy Draco's head.
Meanwhile, inside, Hermione was just staring up at the crowd around her. Some fuchsia potion dribbled down her chin, and fragrant smoke poured out of her ears--lime from one ear, raspberry from the other.
Harry amazingly changed back into a human being and lost a few brain cells as he step-danced over to Professor Sprout. "Hehe, Hermione smells like a limeberry! And noggin's a fun word."
"SHUT UP!!"
Professor Sprout went out of the room for a few minutes and returned with a very angry-looking Mrs. Norris. Everyone held their breath. Of course, they all hated Mrs. Norris, and didn't give a damn what had happened to Mr. Norris, so secretly they all wished in a way that the potion hadn't worked.
"Look Hermione," said Prof. Sprout, holding Mrs. Norris about two inches away from the girl's face, "it's a caaaattt..."
Nothing happened. Hermione drooled a little, but that was about it.
"Hmm. Well, it must've worked then," said Fred, as he and George started washing away the mound of tuna that surrounded Hermione.
Professor Sprout studied Hermione's face. There was nothing on her clueless-looking face to show that the concoction had worked, but then, there was nothing on the face to show that her brain had not turned into cottage cheese.
"We need to test it."
"Didn't you already test it, with Mrs. Norris?"
"Oh, that could've been just a fluke. What we really need is to surround her with cats. Any cats we can get hold of."
Harry magically gained back his lost brain cells, and snapped his fingers. "I know! There's this musical playing in New York, and it'd be perfect to test Hermione!" The cells were lost as quickly as they had been gained. "Now--now, ask me what it's called!"
Everyone rolled their eyes. This happened often. "What is it called, Harry?" They drawled monotonously.
Harry beamed. "It is called... CATS!"
Everyone gasped.
"That's brilliant, Mr. Potter!" Professor Sprout trilled.
"Frankly, I'm astounded," said Ron.
"I'll conjure up some tickets! But. who's going?"
Harry raised his and Ron's hands and swelled grandly, looking the very picture of noble martyrdom. The ever-spontaneous brain cells came back, thinking this would be fun. "We'll go. It is our duty, as her best friends, to save her from this terrible... thing. Ron and I would go anywhere, do any-- HEY!"
Ron yanked his arm away from Harry. "What the heck are you talking about?! She's a looney, and you're dumber than a sack of beans!! I'm outta here." He then stalked off, fell through a trapdoor, and wound up in the lake.
Fred and George ignored this, and were next to volunteer. "We'd better be there, just incase..."
All of a sudden, three girls and two boys ran up to Sprout, Hermione, and the rest. "You're not leaving without us!" They were about two years younger than Harry and Ron, with the exception of one particularly geeky- looking girl who was the same age as Hermione.
"Who the heck are you?" said George.
It might be good for me to explain now that one of the girls--the older one--was wearing cat ears and a tail similar to Hermione's. Everyone else was staring at her, rather upset. "Hi, I'm Rubi, and this is Cinnamon, Tiger, Zach, and Jordon." Rubi pointed at the other four. Cinnamon, it seemed, was in Gryffindor, Tiger in Slytherin, Zach in Hufflepuff, and Jordon in Ravenclaw.
"Your names are... Tiger and Cinnamon??" Harry asked the two girls.
"Yep!" They replied in unison.
"Peculiar names..."
Everyone shrugged.
Professor Sprout called out to the crowd. "Anyone else??" She waved about the tickets. "Last chance..."
No one moved, rather afraid to be chosen.
"Okay then... Let's roll!"
And Sprout, Harry, Fred, George, Hermione, Tiger, Cinnamon, Zach, Jordon, and Rubi all disappeared in a poof of pink polka-dot smoke.
There was much rejoicing.
******
A/N: YAAAHHHH! Not my best!! But oh well. nox, I hope I didn't misuse your characters too much...
As always, review, and PLEASE review my other stories!! Thankies, all! ~Rubi
******
"Professor!" Hermione yelled indignantly. "That is not how you treat your fans!"
"Tell it to a wrestler who cares!!" Countered McCrusher as she barreled towards Hermione....
****** Chapter Four: The Outcome of the Wrestling Match and the Plot Thickens-- Or Rather, Appears for the First Time
...who quickly sidestepped the ex-teacher, causing her to slam into the rubber railing.
The entire hall cheered, and Harry, who had given up deejay-ing in pursuit of commentating, yelled every millisecond of the happenings into a bullhorn. God help us.
McCrusher had Hermione in a fierce feline headlock, while Hermione desperately tried to pick up the cat-teacher and chuck her at someone's head.
Crusher broke away from Hermione, and-- pulled out her wand! Hey, that's not in the rules!!
"Shut up, I'm a wrestler!!" McCrusher yelled at the narrator. "Serpensortia!"
A giant snake flew out of her wand and landed in front of Hermione, who immediately whipped off her pearl-strand-earring-
"OWW!!"
What NOW?
"Whipping out the earring... that hurts, dammit!" Hermione screamed heavenward.
Oh fine, the narrator said... but this is the last time. I can't stand repeating myself.
A giant snake flew out of Crusher's wand and landed in front of Hermione, who carefully and painlessly took off her pearl-strand-earring, and, using it like a rather glamorous whip, flung the snake across the hall, where it landed on Justin Finch-Fletchley and choked him to death.
"Sorry!" Hermione yelled at Justin, just as she had to go head-to- head with the ex-deputy-headmistress, using a false earring/lethal weapon.
'I know!' McCrusher thought. 'I'll transfigure into a cat! Ha, what a stroke of genius!'
So she did. (Her costume shrunk to fit, by the way.)
Which was a baaaadd idea.
For as soon as she did, something in Hermione snapped. She now saw nothing but cats. Grey cats were staring at her from outside the ring, along with orange cats that were hanging off of the draperies and black-and- white spotted cats that were meowing at her, saying, "Hermione! Hermione! You need to throw us ALL out the windows! And into the ceiling! It's in your BLOOD! You have cat-throwing ancestry in your VEINS! And ARTERIES! And- " The narrator shut them all up with her electric can opener.
Hermione went mad. She picked up a screaming McCrusher and whammed her into the mat, then jumped out of the ring and went berserk, throwing every 'cat' into another 'cat' until she could be restrained by Fred, George, and their Amazing Healing Tuna Fish (Only $10 on E-bay!).
Harry rubbed his sore noggin. "We have to do something about her... Did I mention, hehe... noggin is a fun- AWWK!!"
Everyone in the Great Hall hexed him in unison. The Potter...thing slithered over to a corner and stayed there for most of the chapter.
Fred and George tied, chained, and double-bolted a screaming Hermione to a chair and covered her neck-deep in fresh tuna. "That should hold her."
Hermione began screaming curses at no one in particular at the top of her lungs until Fred gagged her with a spare tuna.
Ron, still in bruised-and-battered cat form, walked over. "So, what do we do now??"
Professor Sprout came in from the greenhouses just then, surveyed the damage, and conjured up a bottle of bright fuchsia and lime green-swirled liquid, looking concerned. "Oh dear... I heard about Hermione's knack for throwing things, but this is just horrid... Anyway, what I have here is a serum that should help her resist the cat-throwing gene that makes her want to hurl Draco out the window and drop-kick one of his cronies across the room..."
Draco, at that moment, came wobbling over on his three broken paws and looked up at Sprout. "Oh, joy--the Mudblood'll be better. I'm SAFE!"
Sprout picked him up and drop-kicked him out the window. Draco could be heard screaming "MRRRWWEEEEERRRRRROOOOWWWWWRR-" SPLASH.
Sprout dusted off her hands and picked up the vial once again. "Now, that takes care of that." The students could only stare as she walked calmly over to Hermione and started pouring the bottle of ugly liquid down her throat.
Hermione went berserk, and swiped the vial out of Sprout's hand when it was about halfway gone. The vial flew out of the window, into the lake, and landed on a rather soggy Draco's head.
Meanwhile, inside, Hermione was just staring up at the crowd around her. Some fuchsia potion dribbled down her chin, and fragrant smoke poured out of her ears--lime from one ear, raspberry from the other.
Harry amazingly changed back into a human being and lost a few brain cells as he step-danced over to Professor Sprout. "Hehe, Hermione smells like a limeberry! And noggin's a fun word."
"SHUT UP!!"
Professor Sprout went out of the room for a few minutes and returned with a very angry-looking Mrs. Norris. Everyone held their breath. Of course, they all hated Mrs. Norris, and didn't give a damn what had happened to Mr. Norris, so secretly they all wished in a way that the potion hadn't worked.
"Look Hermione," said Prof. Sprout, holding Mrs. Norris about two inches away from the girl's face, "it's a caaaattt..."
Nothing happened. Hermione drooled a little, but that was about it.
"Hmm. Well, it must've worked then," said Fred, as he and George started washing away the mound of tuna that surrounded Hermione.
Professor Sprout studied Hermione's face. There was nothing on her clueless-looking face to show that the concoction had worked, but then, there was nothing on the face to show that her brain had not turned into cottage cheese.
"We need to test it."
"Didn't you already test it, with Mrs. Norris?"
"Oh, that could've been just a fluke. What we really need is to surround her with cats. Any cats we can get hold of."
Harry magically gained back his lost brain cells, and snapped his fingers. "I know! There's this musical playing in New York, and it'd be perfect to test Hermione!" The cells were lost as quickly as they had been gained. "Now--now, ask me what it's called!"
Everyone rolled their eyes. This happened often. "What is it called, Harry?" They drawled monotonously.
Harry beamed. "It is called... CATS!"
Everyone gasped.
"That's brilliant, Mr. Potter!" Professor Sprout trilled.
"Frankly, I'm astounded," said Ron.
"I'll conjure up some tickets! But. who's going?"
Harry raised his and Ron's hands and swelled grandly, looking the very picture of noble martyrdom. The ever-spontaneous brain cells came back, thinking this would be fun. "We'll go. It is our duty, as her best friends, to save her from this terrible... thing. Ron and I would go anywhere, do any-- HEY!"
Ron yanked his arm away from Harry. "What the heck are you talking about?! She's a looney, and you're dumber than a sack of beans!! I'm outta here." He then stalked off, fell through a trapdoor, and wound up in the lake.
Fred and George ignored this, and were next to volunteer. "We'd better be there, just incase..."
All of a sudden, three girls and two boys ran up to Sprout, Hermione, and the rest. "You're not leaving without us!" They were about two years younger than Harry and Ron, with the exception of one particularly geeky- looking girl who was the same age as Hermione.
"Who the heck are you?" said George.
It might be good for me to explain now that one of the girls--the older one--was wearing cat ears and a tail similar to Hermione's. Everyone else was staring at her, rather upset. "Hi, I'm Rubi, and this is Cinnamon, Tiger, Zach, and Jordon." Rubi pointed at the other four. Cinnamon, it seemed, was in Gryffindor, Tiger in Slytherin, Zach in Hufflepuff, and Jordon in Ravenclaw.
"Your names are... Tiger and Cinnamon??" Harry asked the two girls.
"Yep!" They replied in unison.
"Peculiar names..."
Everyone shrugged.
Professor Sprout called out to the crowd. "Anyone else??" She waved about the tickets. "Last chance..."
No one moved, rather afraid to be chosen.
"Okay then... Let's roll!"
And Sprout, Harry, Fred, George, Hermione, Tiger, Cinnamon, Zach, Jordon, and Rubi all disappeared in a poof of pink polka-dot smoke.
There was much rejoicing.
******
A/N: YAAAHHHH! Not my best!! But oh well. nox, I hope I didn't misuse your characters too much...
As always, review, and PLEASE review my other stories!! Thankies, all! ~Rubi