I couldn't believe it when you came to me. In front of everyone else you seemed so cold and calculating I thought that you wouldn't need someone. I figured that you needed release, though, and I was all you could get. After all, the mighty X and Zero were busy screwing each other when they weren't screwing Alia. Joining that party would be joining a death trap.

But I thought that you were just with me for that. All you needed from me was a good fuck and, once that was done, you would leave. Outside of the 'bedroom' you never said anything to me that hinted otherwise. You continued to act like nothing had changed and, while I loathe to admit it, I wished that something had. Every night you would come to be and take something from me and I got nothing in return. I was being used, I was whoring myself out to you, and I was getting nothing in return.

So why hadn't I said anything to you? Why hadn't I asked you about this, confronted you, questioned you? Why did I let this continue? I should have stopped it before it got too far, before we both got too wrapped up in our affairs but I, like many other generals before me and like many others that will come after me, felt that coming to you with my emotions would be foolish. We were in a war. My 'feelings' meant nothing.

And then you stopped coming. You were missing. People began to wonder and began to question and I took the duty upon myself to go investigate. Your door wasn't even locked. That was when I began to panic. You were always so meticulous with all your details – Zero often joked that you were programmed without a personality – that I knew that you wouldn't have done this by mistake. Or by carelessness. You wanted someone to find you.

I could have prevented this from happening and yet I was too afraid to voice my feelings. I let you down.

You had committed the reploid version of suicide and had ordered all your systems to shut down. Strange that we had installed the protection against the in X, Zero, Alia, myself, but never once did we think that you would need it. Next to your slumped form was a note. I had this strange feeling – Murphy's Law – that I knew what was written there but I needed to know for sure. I needed to be positive that I was the one responsible for taking your life away.

Your name was ironic in the end. We both struggled against our feelings, refusing to admit them to each other and now we're both dead – Literally for you and metaphorically for me. I'm glad I found you and took the note; I don't want to think what would have happened if X or Zero had found it. X would be understanding but Zero… I don't want to think about that. Ever since Iris died he'd gotten touchy over the subject of love. He would have probably ripped me apart.

How horribly we hurt each other when we try to salvage a piece of ourselves. It would be so easy to take my own life but that would be the easy way out. Alia seems to hate you now; she talks about how much work you've left behind for her and how cowardly it was for you to kill yourself. But, honestly, I think she's jealous that you escaped first.

I love you. And I can never forgive myself for that.