Disclaimer: The characters belong to the Great and Almighty Terry Pratchett (except for Father Akria).
Notice: Hi all, sorry about it taking so long to get in another chapter but the site's messing me up bigtime. I'll do how Rincewind got his power in the next chapter.
Chapter 2: Ridcully's Pain
"All right, now that you're all finally here I will tell you the bad new-"
"ZZZZZZZZZZ, ZZZZZZZZZ."
"Who is that? I demand to know who it is!"
"It's the Lecturer in Recent Runes, Archchancellor. He's giving a lecture in room 3B."
"Ahhhhh, isn't that sweet? WAKE UP YOU IMBECILE!!! Now, maybe we can get on. Anyway, Rincewand-
"-Wind, Archchancellor-"
Ridcully's Look silenced the speaker in seconds.
"OK, this Rincewind has stolen the VERBUM VERITASTIC, if you please, Librarian. You know, the Word of Truth, deadly in the wrong hands, the whole
End-Of-The-World-Introductory-Package-Buy-One, Get-One-Free-For-All-Eternity thing?"
"Erm, I have a question, Archchancellor?"
"Yes?"
"Erm, can we discuss this after dinner, only it's a whole TEN minutes since it started, we'll starve at this rate and also it's lamb chops today..."
At this there was a general chorus of 'yes, he's right's to further aggravate the Archchancellor.
"FINE, PUT THE SAFETY OF THE DISC AT STAKE JUST BECAUSE OF STEAK! SURE, LEAVE RIDCULLY TO HANDLE IT, HE'LL DO IT NO PROBLEM!"
"Good man, Archchancellor," said the Head of Advisably Applied Magic (the opposite of Ponder Stibbons, the Head of Inadvisably Applied Magic and only
sane man in the University).
When they had all filed out the room, Ponder approached Ridcully and said,
"Archchancellor, why don't you find Father Akria, you know, the High Priest of the Lady."
"Good idea Stibbons, we'll start right away."
"But Archchancellor, I..."
Ridcully had already walked away. 'Great', thought Ponder, 'me and my big mouth'.
"Hahahahahahahaha..."
"Rincewind, you old weasel, how are you?"
"Well, I have got an ulcer coming on in my stomach and- What am I doing?!? Cohen?
"Yes?"
"You're finally dead..."
"What?"
BAZAAM! BOOM! AND ANY OTHER SOUND EFFECTS YOU CAN THINK OF!
"Whut?" said Hamish as Rincewind left.
"He said Cohen's RED, Hamish!" shouted Boy Willie.
"Whut did he say?"
"Oh dear, is it time for his gruel already?" asked Teach Number Two (Teach, who was the Disc's first barbarian teacher, had trained another person to do his jobs in
his abscence.)
"Also, do any of you feel any different?" said Teach No. Two after he had tried several unsuccessful times to lift Hamish's gruel pot.
"Hello boys!" chirped a woman standing behind them along with 6 others. She just had time to scream before Cohen, in his spectral form, chopped off her head.
"Not another bloody Valkyrie. We died once already in the Last Hero and we won't do it again. Come on lads, let's strike so's we get a better job in the next fanfic."
With that they walked off, occasionally moaning about their backs.
"(Author) Hey, you guys can't quit now. It's my story- Hey, get back here! Oh, guys..."
And thus, an author always gets the cold shoulder.
Notice: Hi all, sorry about it taking so long to get in another chapter but the site's messing me up bigtime. I'll do how Rincewind got his power in the next chapter.
Chapter 2: Ridcully's Pain
"All right, now that you're all finally here I will tell you the bad new-"
"ZZZZZZZZZZ, ZZZZZZZZZ."
"Who is that? I demand to know who it is!"
"It's the Lecturer in Recent Runes, Archchancellor. He's giving a lecture in room 3B."
"Ahhhhh, isn't that sweet? WAKE UP YOU IMBECILE!!! Now, maybe we can get on. Anyway, Rincewand-
"-Wind, Archchancellor-"
Ridcully's Look silenced the speaker in seconds.
"OK, this Rincewind has stolen the VERBUM VERITASTIC, if you please, Librarian. You know, the Word of Truth, deadly in the wrong hands, the whole
End-Of-The-World-Introductory-Package-Buy-One, Get-One-Free-For-All-Eternity thing?"
"Erm, I have a question, Archchancellor?"
"Yes?"
"Erm, can we discuss this after dinner, only it's a whole TEN minutes since it started, we'll starve at this rate and also it's lamb chops today..."
At this there was a general chorus of 'yes, he's right's to further aggravate the Archchancellor.
"FINE, PUT THE SAFETY OF THE DISC AT STAKE JUST BECAUSE OF STEAK! SURE, LEAVE RIDCULLY TO HANDLE IT, HE'LL DO IT NO PROBLEM!"
"Good man, Archchancellor," said the Head of Advisably Applied Magic (the opposite of Ponder Stibbons, the Head of Inadvisably Applied Magic and only
sane man in the University).
When they had all filed out the room, Ponder approached Ridcully and said,
"Archchancellor, why don't you find Father Akria, you know, the High Priest of the Lady."
"Good idea Stibbons, we'll start right away."
"But Archchancellor, I..."
Ridcully had already walked away. 'Great', thought Ponder, 'me and my big mouth'.
"Hahahahahahahaha..."
"Rincewind, you old weasel, how are you?"
"Well, I have got an ulcer coming on in my stomach and- What am I doing?!? Cohen?
"Yes?"
"You're finally dead..."
"What?"
BAZAAM! BOOM! AND ANY OTHER SOUND EFFECTS YOU CAN THINK OF!
"Whut?" said Hamish as Rincewind left.
"He said Cohen's RED, Hamish!" shouted Boy Willie.
"Whut did he say?"
"Oh dear, is it time for his gruel already?" asked Teach Number Two (Teach, who was the Disc's first barbarian teacher, had trained another person to do his jobs in
his abscence.)
"Also, do any of you feel any different?" said Teach No. Two after he had tried several unsuccessful times to lift Hamish's gruel pot.
"Hello boys!" chirped a woman standing behind them along with 6 others. She just had time to scream before Cohen, in his spectral form, chopped off her head.
"Not another bloody Valkyrie. We died once already in the Last Hero and we won't do it again. Come on lads, let's strike so's we get a better job in the next fanfic."
With that they walked off, occasionally moaning about their backs.
"(Author) Hey, you guys can't quit now. It's my story- Hey, get back here! Oh, guys..."
And thus, an author always gets the cold shoulder.