Title: Insanity Lost
Author: Rhiannon
Rating: PG-13 (suicide/death)
Warning: Suicide/death
Disclaimer: System of a down is not mine. I had to borrow the CD from a
friend in fact. Yes this means I can't buy them for myself, there for I
have no money, ie. don't sue me it's useless
Insanity Lost Songfic to ATWA (System of A Down)
Duo sat in the pilot seat, staring out the vid-screens at black space, a dark endless void like the one in his chest. His mind whirled, images of possible futures, his face expressionless in the absence of his usual smile. His façade was failing, it would have held, it would.
Hey you, see me, pictures crazy. All the world I before me passing by. I've got nothing to gain nothing to lose. All the world before me passing by.
He had lost his footing not so long ago. When he realized one little truth, since then he could feel the slow degrading of a river undercutting the banks of his mind. An unstoppable slide down a slippery slope to a place he could not go. The ringing words of his death mantra spearing a lead down to that pit.
You don't care about how I feel.
The desperate leap for the sun, wasn't there still hope?
I don't feel it anymore.
But it was not true.
You don't care about how I feel. I don't feel it anymore. You don't care about how I feel. I don't feel it anymore. You don't care about how I feel. I don't feel it anymore.
Duo looked at the screen, stars twinkled. It was almost time. He flicked it off. No more need for it any more. He looked at his reflection; it wasn't the happy face he was used to seeing. This new face was his new self. He moved his lips in silent words, to see if it was truly him. They reflections lips moved. It was him, there was no other way
Hey you, are me, not so pretty. All the world I've seen before me passing by. Silent my voice, I've got no choice. All the world I've seen before me passing by.
The lips in the reflection reflected words, cruel seeds stinging lies of truth and truth of lies.
You don't care about how I feel, I don't feel it any more. You don't care about how I feel, I don't feel it any more. You don't care about how I feel, I don't feel it any more.
Duo powered down the lights, the reflection faded into the ever growing black abyss.
I don't see anymore
The ever present silence pressing on his muffled ears
I don't hear anymore
His lips stilling to frozen utter motionless.
I don't speak anymore.
Hanging, suspended in that place void of all the senses. Numbing the mind for its final task, so near at hand. Just beyond the next moment of completion.
I don't feel.
Duo closed his eyes against the black, watching one last time his store of memory videos of smiling faces, faces that brought him down.
Hey you, see me, pictures crazy. All the world I've seen before me passing by. I've got nothing to gain, to lose. All the world I've seen before me passing by.
The mantra again. First to surface, break the silent cycle.
You don't care about how I feel, I don't feel it any more. You don't care about how I feel, I don't feel it any more. You don't care about how I feel, I don't feel it any more.
The images coming hard and fast past his eyes, leading him further, further down with his mantra guide. Too much! Too much! Eyes flash open
I don't sleep, anymore.
This is it. The end, the culmination of insanity in the last bearable straw.
I don't eat, anymore.
Time now and present. Pain, swirling head, losing it all. Not to gain, naught to lose. A twitch of a hand. A move so often thwarted, not this time.
I don't live, anymore.
Peace.
I don't feel.
Death is going to its maker in a shower of real-gold glory
Insanity Lost Songfic to ATWA (System of A Down)
Duo sat in the pilot seat, staring out the vid-screens at black space, a dark endless void like the one in his chest. His mind whirled, images of possible futures, his face expressionless in the absence of his usual smile. His façade was failing, it would have held, it would.
Hey you, see me, pictures crazy. All the world I before me passing by. I've got nothing to gain nothing to lose. All the world before me passing by.
He had lost his footing not so long ago. When he realized one little truth, since then he could feel the slow degrading of a river undercutting the banks of his mind. An unstoppable slide down a slippery slope to a place he could not go. The ringing words of his death mantra spearing a lead down to that pit.
You don't care about how I feel.
The desperate leap for the sun, wasn't there still hope?
I don't feel it anymore.
But it was not true.
You don't care about how I feel. I don't feel it anymore. You don't care about how I feel. I don't feel it anymore. You don't care about how I feel. I don't feel it anymore.
Duo looked at the screen, stars twinkled. It was almost time. He flicked it off. No more need for it any more. He looked at his reflection; it wasn't the happy face he was used to seeing. This new face was his new self. He moved his lips in silent words, to see if it was truly him. They reflections lips moved. It was him, there was no other way
Hey you, are me, not so pretty. All the world I've seen before me passing by. Silent my voice, I've got no choice. All the world I've seen before me passing by.
The lips in the reflection reflected words, cruel seeds stinging lies of truth and truth of lies.
You don't care about how I feel, I don't feel it any more. You don't care about how I feel, I don't feel it any more. You don't care about how I feel, I don't feel it any more.
Duo powered down the lights, the reflection faded into the ever growing black abyss.
I don't see anymore
The ever present silence pressing on his muffled ears
I don't hear anymore
His lips stilling to frozen utter motionless.
I don't speak anymore.
Hanging, suspended in that place void of all the senses. Numbing the mind for its final task, so near at hand. Just beyond the next moment of completion.
I don't feel.
Duo closed his eyes against the black, watching one last time his store of memory videos of smiling faces, faces that brought him down.
Hey you, see me, pictures crazy. All the world I've seen before me passing by. I've got nothing to gain, to lose. All the world I've seen before me passing by.
The mantra again. First to surface, break the silent cycle.
You don't care about how I feel, I don't feel it any more. You don't care about how I feel, I don't feel it any more. You don't care about how I feel, I don't feel it any more.
The images coming hard and fast past his eyes, leading him further, further down with his mantra guide. Too much! Too much! Eyes flash open
I don't sleep, anymore.
This is it. The end, the culmination of insanity in the last bearable straw.
I don't eat, anymore.
Time now and present. Pain, swirling head, losing it all. Not to gain, naught to lose. A twitch of a hand. A move so often thwarted, not this time.
I don't live, anymore.
Peace.
I don't feel.
Death is going to its maker in a shower of real-gold glory