Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, its characters and concepts belong to Rumiko Takahashi and those enterprises to whom she has given publishing rights. Ah! Megami-sama, its characters and concepts belong to Fujishima Kosuke and those enterprises to whom such rights were given. This work does not intend to infringe upon those rights, nor is it intended for commercial use.
Chapter 2
Mara shuffled the small deck of cards that began to glow in her hands. She picked up a cubic like object of the size of a soccer ball from a box. "Everything set? Shall we play?"
The object turned out to be an oversized die, but instead of numbers or small holes the die's sides contained a chibi version of each unwilling player.
"Ah, I was almost forgetting. Your new qualities will only begin to appear upon your return to Nerima and you'll have to figure them out by yourselves. Some will be quite easy to discover but others won't. I'll start the game," and with that the demoness threw the die.
The players held their breath as the huge die rolled around. They were martial artists, even if their level of skill and commitment to the Art varied significantly, and therefore more used to be acting instead of being helpless spectators, especially when their own future was being shaped in front of them.
Slowly the die stopped spinning and the first unlucky member of the Nerima Wrecking Crew was no other than Hibiki Ryouga, who was sitting dejectedly on his chair and looking like he had just thrown a perfect Shi Shi Houkoudan on their heads.
The boy barely acknowledged the cards glowing in bright yellow that were fluctuating in front of him. Extending his hand he picked one and returned to his sulking.
Mousse was next but whatever deity the nearsighted amazon worshipped, besides Shampoo, of course, was probably looking out for him at that moment and when he touched the card it became red.
"Ah, a lucky one. That was one of your own cards, Mousse," pointed out the demoness. "Here, you throw the die this time." The amazon's luck streak continued and his nemesis was chosen next. Mousse couldn't help but grin.
'Damn the stupid duck,' thought the pigtailed boy as he glared at the amazon, along with the fiancée brigade. Having placed his glasses on the top of his head, Mousse was quite oblivious to the visual assault.
Cautiously he grabbed one of the levitating cards and to his horror it didn't turn red.
Ranma settled for the best way of taking revenge against Mousse. Waving his arms in a clear message to the demoness, he asked for the die. Mara quickly complied, a clear sign that he shouldn't be doing it, but caution had been thrown out the window some time ago. When the die ceased moving the chibi draw of Ukyou was on top.
Ranma looked sheepishly at his oldest friend, trying his best to make a wordless apology.
'It's not like it's his fault, anyway,' concluded the chef, shrugging her shoulders and showing her fiancé that it didn't matter. 'I'm not like Ryouga to blame him for everything wrong in my live.' She didn't take one of her own problems, but she did take the die from the demoness' hands. It was, after all, a small measure of control in this strange situation.
She changed her mind when she ended cursing herself a second time in a row and again Lady Luck didn't grace her with a red card.
Mara picked the die and when Ukyou refused to throw it again and made the roll herself. Akane was next and despite her name she got a yellow one.
Fuming from it, she demanded the die and tried to hit the demoness right in the head. Mara was ready for it and just dodged the improvised projectile. Ranma wasn't and the die bounced on his head before holding still with Shampoo's caricature.
'Take that Bimbo,' Akane mouthed to Shampoo, who was too far away to understand the words, but close enough to realize the meaning. She caught somebody else's card.
"We are halfway through the game now," said the demoness as she handed the die to Shampoo, "only six more cards to go." Before Mara finished speaking the cube was on the air and headed straight to Akane's chair. She jerked violently trying to avoid it, causing the chair's front legs to be in the air and when the die hit her the extra momentum was enough to make her fall.
Mara didn't bother to raise Akane from the floor and just waved the cards in front of Mousse, who had been chosen again. He wasn't as lucky this time and ended with a yellow card.
The game continued for a brief time, and everyone received another card, save Mousse who ended with just one. Ukyou was looking miserably having caught three.
"It has been a pleasure playing with you," Mara announced, waving goodbyes to them. "You are going back to where I caught you so you can all start your brand new lives! Be seeing you!"
The demoness snapped her fingers one last time and they were gone. 'Now comes the fun part,' she thought, getting ready to another 'little game'. 'Can't wait to watch what they will be doing.'
---
Cologne was franticly searching the tomes of lore she brought from the Joketsuzoku village, looking for something that could explain the events she had witnessed. Through the long story of their people they have interacted with a fair number of gods and demons, if the records were to be believed. However, the demoness behavior seemed quite gratuitous, unless the two adolescents were involved with things much more serious than their little antics with son-in-law and the rest of young fools around.
She really doubted that.
She was about to stop her research and go see if Ranma had disappeared was well, if only as confirmation, since something so strange was bound to involve him as well, when she heard some noises in the restaurant's main hall. She darted out her room with all the speed she could muster, discovering Shampoo and Mousse back, in the exact same places where she had last seen them. Shampoo was unconscious on the ground but Mousse was up, watching her great-granddaughter as if it was the first time he had laid his eyes on her.
"Mousse? What have happened?" asked the elder, who was now examining the fallen amazon. "Mousse?" she repeated the question, before settling for a more blunt form to snap the boy out of his reverie.
Mousse stared at her with unusually alive eyes for an instant, before shouting a quick scream. He began to shudder.
'He must be in shock,' Cologne concluded, turning her attention to the boy, since Shampoo didn't seem to be in danger. "Mousse, what have happened," she asked slowly. "Are you okay?"
"Y-yes, I-I think I am," he replied, not quite sure of the answer himself and looking only at Shampoo's prostrated body.
"Can you fetch Toufuu-sensei? I want him to give my great-granddaughter a more careful examination. Was she really a demoness, Mousse?"
Mousse only nodded, doing his best to avoid eye contact.
"Mousse, do you think you could do that?" Again he nodded. "Then go quickly, Mousse. I'll bring her upstairs." But the boy stayed still.
"Mousse!" she yelled, jumping at his face to get his attention. "GO!" And with a quick movement she opened the door and unceremoniously she pushed the teenager on the street.
"Good grace! The boy was almost out of it! But I think he'll manage to reach the doctor," she thought aloud. "And what does he mean with 'ignorance is bliss'?"
---
"So..."
"What now?"
Ranma and Akane were just looking at each other for the last couple of minutes, unsure of what to do.
Ranma breathed deeply. "First things first, we should check out if we have Jusenkyou curses.
"Y-yes, I think that's wise," Akane answered. "Let's get some water."
The canal was the nearest source of the universal solvent, but the steel fence separated them and jumping in it wasn't the more practical way of testing for curses.
"Akane, let's go to that bridge, there we can get some," he suggested.
"Hey, when did you change back? I was wondering..."
Ranma just shrugged. "No idea, when I got there I was already a guy, at least I think so. I don't remember bein' splashed with hot water. Com'on Akane, this is more important."
"Let's go then. No point in avoiding the inevitable."
"If we are cursed, then yes, there it ain't nothin' we can do to avoid water."
"Did you pick your curse, Ranma?"
"Yeah, I did. Let's get moving!"
They reached the bridge quickly and there they found a bunch of plastic cups. Someone must had had a picnic by the river's bank and left a lot of discarded material behind. They filled an unused cup with river water each.
"So, on three we splash each other, okay?" asked Ranma, getting in position. "One, two, THREE!"
The jet of water forced Akane to blink and when she opened her eyes again Ranma was gone and his clothes were on the ground.
"Oh, Ranma, still cursed..." she said, torn between jumping in joy for being free of Jusenkyou's touch herself and being sad for her fiancé. Something inside Ranma's clothes began to move, trying to escape the silk prison of his chinese garment.
Akane was just too apprehensive to help Ranma out of his own clothes, so she waited. After an instant something small and black began to appear from the collar of the long sleeved red shirt.
---
"SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN!"
It was the fourth chi blast Ryouga called forth from the depths of his soul in rapid succession, scarring the ground around him even more. The boy was standing in the center of a hole already several feet deep and the soil was looking like tightly compressed.
The fourth blast finally took all the depression out of his system. Whatever the rope that tied him to that chair was made of, it was both extremely resistant and somehow stopped him from using depression to fuel his favorite chi projection technique. The 'Lion's Roar Shot' was more than just that, it was also an important escape valve for the often depressed boy. He paid the price for such dependency when was forced to cope with his feelings the standard way.
Ryouga collapsed on the dirt with a small smile on his lips. Finally he would savor the sweetness of oblivion, at least for a little while.
---
Ukyou was back on the door of her restaurant, which was now open. The already disoriented chef couldn't understand it. When she had left she had closed the door and no one else had the key. She stepped in.
"Ukyou-sama! Are you okay?" asked the worried Kunoichi from behind the grill. "Where have you been? I couldn't find you anywhere."
Still suffering from the effects of the teleport spell, all Ukyou could do was sit at one of the many empty tables.
"Here, Ukyou-sama, take a cup of water," offered Konatsu, joining his boss at the table.
The chef gladly accepted the water and slowly sipped it. "Sugar, what time now?"
"School will be out anytime now, Ukyou-sama. When you didn't show up to open the restaurant for lunch I, I broke in through a window. I apologize for my actions, Ukyou-sama," Konatsu pleaded.
"Is no problem, sugar, you did well," answered the chef. "You managed the lunch crowd all by self?"
"I did the best I could, but I can't cook as quick and well as you do, Ukyou-sama. The customers complained about your absence."
Ukyou nodded. The kunoichi was getting better by the day but he had problems cooking quickly. Facing the lunch crowd alone must have been an ordeal to her friend. "Can you handle the restaurant until night?" she asked, standing up and looking for something in the kitchen. "Ukyou no feel well today," she concluded, reappearing in the room with the kettle usually reserved for Ranma.
"I'll try," answered a puzzled Konatsu, looking his boss going upstairs. 'What could have happened to Ukyou? Does she want to make some tea? And why is she speaking like that?' he briefly wondered before resuming his post in the grill.
---
Ranma was not happy. He had hoped to be finally freed from the pools of sorrow. Instead, he was engulfed by his own clothes and discovered that silk wasn't the best fabric to escaped from when turning into something small.
Now he had the same vulnerability that Shampoo, Mousse and Ryouga possessed before this day; he was just a splash away from being a terrific martial artist to turning into a cute, little and defenseless animal. He couldn't even see what he had become from inside the bizarre confinement. 'Man, if I've turned into a pig, Akane is going to rip me apart'. He was also eager to find out if his fiancée had the same luck he had had, so he redoubled his efforts.
After a minute he reached the collar of his shirt and bracing himself for the worst he ventured out of his lair.
"Ranma?" asked a very afraid Akane.
The question was lost on the boy, however. He thought he was ready for anything, but the vision in front of his eyes robbed the air from his lungs and for once Saotome Ranma reacted in a very intelligent and proper way, given the circumstances.
He fainted.
"Oh, Ranma, what we are going to do now?" she asked the fallen cat aloud. Akane was deadly scared, Ranma ended up receiving Shampoo's curse, but instead of being a white cat with purple socks, like Shampoo's cursed form, Neko-Ranma was a small black cat, with bright blue eyes. "Stupid Bimbo," she muttered, trying to reanimate the unconscious cat. 'Is he going into the Nekoken, or what? He has just become his own nightmare...' she thought, trying to figure a way to help him. 'Hot water! Sure, it worked before, it should work this time, too!' I think hot water will make him snap out of it!'
She quickly shoved his clothes into his bag and placed both on shoulder hold. Carefully she picked up the prostrate cat and started walking back home, where they would have the privacy they needed.
After a minute she began to smooth out the black cat's fur absent-mindedly. The hold was uncomfortable and something was pressing her breasts. She tried to adjust her bra, but it still bothered her. 'I think I'll need a bigger one,' she thought with a smile on her face.
---
Konatsu was right and school was out. Daisuki and Hiroshi were discussing the absence of Furinkan most famous students, namely Tatewaki, last seen two days ago, Ranma and his two fiancées, Akane and Ukyou, on their way home.
"What she said?" asked Daisuki.
"About Kunou? That he'd returned to his previous nickname."
"What!?" he deadpanned. "Man, I can't believe you keep spending yen with Nabiki, what kind of answer is this?"
"The cheapest one," the other boy answered with a grin.
"Do you remember Kuno's last nickname?"
"Hell if I know, I was hoping you would. I didn't want to spend more 100 yen with Nabiki."
The best source of information in Furinkan High School was, of course, Tendou Nabiki, suitably nicknamed 'The Ice Queen'. Prices were high, especially if the student's body was seeking it with the usual ardor, but always accurate. Anything regarding the local martial artists and their fights was always in high demand and everyone was sure that a good story would accompany the missing students, as usual.
The price also varied accordingly with its clarity. The cheapest answer cost only one hundred yen but allowed Nabiki to delivery it in the most obscure way possible. The 'cryptic answer', as it was called, lured students that enjoyed playing mind games with the hope of beating Nabiki on her own turf as well as students that couldn't afford the more expensive replies. Some believed that Nabiki also enjoyed playing mind games, others believed that this was her sense of humor in action and finally there were those who believed it to be another of her evil schemes to attract curious students that would eventually give up trying to figure out what she had meant in the first place and would have to pay the full price to have peace of mind. As usually in cases like this, truth laid somewhere in between.
In the other extremity of the spectrum there was the 'Tatewaki answer'. No one knew for sure what made the 'Tatewaki answer' so hideously expensive, because the only student in Furinkan with enough money to even consider buying it was Kunou Tatewaki himself. Some conjectured that this answer was given in archaic speech, with substantial influence from Shakespeare's works and possibly in 5-7-5 syllables Haiku, but the majority thought the answer was delivered with several visual aids and with small words only. There were no argument about the fact that the chances of the delusional kendoist ever acquiring a clue relied on professional and extremely well paid help.
"What she said on Ranma and the girls?"
"'The asset's value is under evaluation'... do you think she doesn't know?" Hiroshi questioned.
"Ha! I wouldn't bet on it! Haven't you heard the saying? 'If Nabiki doesn't know, it didn't happen!'"
Both boys laughed at that, even though some students actually trusted it.
"But I would bet there's a good story behind it. It always does!"
"Yeah, and it's always expensive to get it from Nabiki," replied Hiroshi, turning a corner and receiving the shock of his life.
"Hey dude, what's the matter?" asked Daisuki, wondering what caused his friend to stop so abruptly and star at someone open mouthed. Seeing he would receive no response from him, he tried to figure out what was the cause of his amazement, only to repeat the other's boy actions.
A couple of minutes passed by before Hiroshi could speak again.
"Say, isn't that..."
"Yes, it is."
"In a school..."
"Yep."
"Carrying a cat, for God's sake!"
"Think so."
"Man, what's next? Nabiki giving money away?"
"Kunou refusing to go on a date with Akane?"
"Happousai becoming a Shinto priest?"
"Good one! Hinako-sensei being a delinquent?"
"Happened already, pal."
"Ah, right, I forgot."
"Man, what it will be worth for Nabiki?"
"Heh, no doubt she was thinking about how much she would charge us. That's just priceless!"
"Yeah, life in Nerima is never boring."
---
Ukyou was trembling in her bathroom, a hand over the shower's faucet and a bucket with hot water ready for immediate use. As any businesswoman worth its salt Ukyou had a good mind when it came to numbers and she had already calculated the odds of receiving a cat or duck curse or worse, the odds of receiving both.
Being around Ranma so much gave her a good idea of the misery brought by the pools of sorrow to those afflicted. Again and again she saw her Ranchan being splashed, in the most strange circumstances and often in the worst possible moment, to the point of risking being forced to commit ritual suicide. Of course, almost everything in her beloved's life seemed to happen this way, but both Mousse and Shampoo agreed that their curses worked pretty much like that. To them, Jusenkyou was almost an sentient being.
It would be easier to dismiss the thought as foolishness if the other events involving the pigtailed boy weren't as strange. Still, the most unbelievable events never happened with her around, unless she was the one organizing it, like the Tunnel of Lost Love. Her first time left a sour taste on her mouth.
'Can't delay it any longer,' she sighed. With a jerk she opened the faucet and water started to wash over her body. An instant later the faucet was several feet above her.
"BWEEE!"
---
'Why those perverts are staring at me like that?' thought Akane on her way home. 'Why Ranma put up with those guys? Sure, they were his best buddies in school, but the way they look at his female half. At least they never joined the hentai horde in the morning attacks after Kunou speech'.
It was a new feeling for Akane. She still despised the way they leered her during gym classes and hated even more the way they just gawked her a few minutes ago, but for the first time in many months she didn't feel the need to beat the hell out of them and she liked it so far.
'No more 'urge to mallet rising'!' she thought happily.
She was three blocks away from home when she saw Mousse running full speed in her direction and looking very distressed. To her surprise he recognized her even without his glasses and stopped in front of her. Absently she held Ranma closer to her chest.
"Which way to Toufuu-sensei office?" he asked in an almost crazy fashion.
"That way, Mousse," she answered, pointing out the direction he had come in the first place.
"Thanks for once, Saotome," and promptly he resumed his run in the opposite direction.
'Is he going crazy or what?' considered Akane. 'I thought he wouldn't recognize me without his glasses. I wonder why he's looking so desperate to reach the sensei. I was sure he knew to way, too. Oh well, at least he didn't cause any trouble.'
---
"Where that blasted fool can be?" Cologne complained, holding Shampoo's hand at her bed. "He should have returned with the doctor already!"
At her snap Shampoo moaned. "Shampoo! Are you awake? What are you feeling?"
Slowly the lavender haired amazon opened her eyes. She wished she hadn't, it was just painful to do that. "Great-grandmother, I'm suffering from a terrible headache and my eyes are hurting."
"Rest still, child, I'll bring you some medicine."
Cologne descended the stairs to pick up a glass of water and an aspirin and so doing passed in front of the phone. Chastising herself for not thinking about calling the doctor before, she opened the small booklet that contained all the important numbers and quickly dialed his number.
"Moshi moshi, Ono speaking."
"Hello doctor, it's Cologne speaking from the Nekohanten. I've sent Mousse to bring you here. Has he showed up?"
"Hello Elder. No, I'm afraid I haven't seen Mousse. What's the matter?"
"I need you to come here immediately to examine my great-granddaughter."
"Shampoo? Is she alright? What have happened?"
"I would rather not discuss the details over the phone, doctor. Suffice to say she's not in immediate danger but I don't want to move her needlessly."
"I understand. I'm not attending any patients right now, so I'll be there in a couple of minutes."
"Thank you, doctor."
Still berating herself for having forgotten the telephone, she climbed up the stairs to join Shampoo.
"Here child, take an aspirin. Rest now, doctor Toufuu will soon be here."
Shampoo moaned again but gladly accepted the tablet.
---
Ukyou couldn't believe this. She was ready to accept being a cat, or even a duck, but turning into a small black piglet was a complete surprise for her.
'How is it possible?' the chef considered. 'No one has this kind of curse!'
Buta-Ukyou was having a lot of trouble trying to reach the hot water. The bucket she had prepared was too high for her to jump in with her short legs. Had she become a cat or a duck, as she feared, getting splashed by the miraculous hot water would have been an easy feat.
"BWEE!" she complained again. The indignity of it! Of all stupid pools to be cursed with this must be one of the worst! Loosing her cool, Ukyou made a short run and tried to jump inside the bucket. She didn't make it, but managed to hold on the border. Struggling to get inside, she caused the bucket to fall over her.
The hot water was splashed all over the bathroom's floor, but enough fell on Ukyou to revert her to her normal body.
Still trembling, Ukyou began to towel, trying to get dry as fast as possible and mortally afraid to turn into a small piglet again. She entered her bedroom and closed the door, bolting it.
Sitting down on her bed, she began to cry softly.
---
"Tadaima!" exclaimed Akane, entering the living room of Tendo-ke. She wasn't looking forward to all the explanation she would have to do, but it would be near impossible to avoid confrontation when she was showing up with a cat. She didn't even have time to figure out what she had received from the infernal game.
If the living room was empty there were good chances she would be able to make a bee-line to the bathroom. Once she arrived there all she would have to do was throw Ranma in the tub and hope it would be enough to make him snap out of the Nekoken.
Unfortunately for her the living room was full and only Kasumi wasn't present. From the noises she was hearing, the eldest Tendou daughter was in the kitchen. She was expecting lots of question, but not the blank gaze she was receiving from his sister, or the incredulity on the face of his father and from Genma. They were looking at her like she was some kind of ghost or apparition.
"Oneechan, why are looking at me like that?" she asked her sister. Nabiki was usually extremely composed, imperturbable even, which made her face look even funnier. She had just spitted out a mouthful of green tea over the magazine she was reading and haven't make a single move to try to make her cover the damages.
Nabiki was, in fact, quite shocked. She might not be a mathematician, but her life evolved around constants and variables and how both interacted. The key for success, in her mind, was to rely on the constants as foundation and work with the variables in the more profitable way possible. It also important to keep an eye for the constants, since they could change, even if such changes were rare, and be sure that the variables never crystallize into constants that could compromise her positions. Constants could even change in great numbers at the same time, creating an instability that was both dangerous and attractive. Dangerous because the variables would interact with the new constants in unforeseen ways and attractive for the same reason, as it allowed the sharp of mind to maximize profit while the duller minds struggled to cope with the novelties.
Unfortunately for Nabiki, the number of constants that have been broken was just too great to her to react accordingly and her brain called for all available power to try to understand the events that were occurring today, barely leaving enough to keep life support going.
First, Ranma and Akane didn't make to the school today. While strange, it wasn't something totally unexpected and without precedent. Ukyou was missing today, too, which might have been a coincidence, but given the new facts, Nabiki discarded the thought;
Second, Ranma just showed up in her cursed body. Again, not a surprise by itself, given the way the boy seemed to attract water and the preponderance of cold water over the hot specimen. The surprise consisted in the fact that she wasn't wearing her usual chinese clothing, but a Furinkan High School uniform and a female one at that. That was one of the constants going down. She never expected to see Ranma in an uniform. In fact, there could well be a pool on it. She would have made a mental note to check it later if she had brain power available for the task;
Third, and most grave, Ranma was not only holding, by her own freewill, a black cat, she was even petting the aforementioned feline! While keeping her sanity! This, of course, contradicted her previous behaviour when exposed to this particularly animal, which normally would send her to the brink of madness and sometimes over it;
Fourth, not satisfied in defying the beliefs Nabiki held dear, Ranma had the audacity of calling her 'oneechan'! In a normal day she would have mocked her, asking if the marriage date had been chosen or possibly charge her to keep the Freudian's slip secret.
But now nothing could be dismissed so easily. Perhaps she had hit her head against a boulder again, or more probable, her sister had hit her with the large mallet. Perhaps the Nekoken has finally made her mind break and react like that.
Too busy running simulation scenarios, Nabiki didn't perceive her older sister enter the room, gasp and then release a large tea-tray, which clattered soundly on the floor.
"Oh, my!" exclaimed the unflappable Tendou.
Akane decided she had enough and began to enter the core of the household. She would deal with them later. She knew how Ranma would react if the cat she was carrying wasn't him, but that was just ridiculous!
---
Shampoo was glad. The pain in her eyes was receding and she believe she would be able to open her eyes again in a short time. She heard someone knock on the door and waited a minute.
"Hello Shampoo, how are you doing today?" asked doctor Toufuu.
"Aiyah! Good morning, Toufuu-sensei. My eyes are bothering me and I can't see very well. I had a headache but I took an aspirin and the pain is almost gone," she answered her previous employer. The amazon had enjoyed working with the kind doctor and trusted him like no other outsider male, including Ranma.
The doctor raised an eyebrow at her first answer. "Shampoo, do you know it's over three in the afternoon?"
"I had no idea, doctor. I thought we were still in the morning."
"I see your command of the language has greatly improved, Shampoo."
It was the Joketsuzoku Elder's turn to raise an eyebrow. Only now she'd noticed her great-granddaughter was speaking in flawless Japanese.
"Yes, Shampoo, how this has come to pass?" Cologne asked, while the doctor examined the young amazon's eyes.
The doctor began to make several questions to Shampoo, which kept her from answering her great-grandmother until the end of the examination.
"She's in perfect health, elder, save for her eyes. I fear she has developed some degree of myopia, and she'll have to consult an ophthalmologist to determine it accurately. That's probably the cause of her headache. If you don't mind, I would like to know why you've called me here so suddenly. It doesn't seem an emergency to me."
"She was kidnapped today by a demonical entity, doctor."
"Great-grandmother is right, sensei."
"Oh," exclaimed the surprised chiropractor. Nerima was a strange place at times but this easily took the cake. "Do you think there's a relation?"
Cologne looked curiously at her great-granddaughter, that was a question she wanted answered herself.
Shampoo looked away, more on habit than to avoid looking at them directly at their faces. She had problems even to discern the blurs in front of her and only the sound of their voices allowed her to identify who she was speaking to.
She explained how she was abducted, who else was there and the game they were forced to play.
"I see," said Toufuu with a incredulous look on his face. "Am I to believe you had chosen your problems with the Japanese language?"
Shampoo only nodded.
"I understand. In the same way, you think you've received your eyesight problems from someone else?"
"Y-yes, when we get here I couldn't see Mousse and he was talking to me only a couple of meters away. My head was hurting bad and then I collapsed on the floor."
"Elder, does Mousse keep a spare of his glasses around? I want to check something."
"Of course, doctor. I'll try to find a pair in his rooms. The boy has a good number of them."
Cologne return in a minute and placed the glasses on the girl's hands. It were too big for her slim face but it worked nevertheless.
"Can you see better now, Shampoo?"
"Yes, sensei. But it still strange, I can't see as well as I did."
"Shampoo, you should consult an ophthalmologist as soon as possible. I can indicate one, if you want."
"Shampoo," questioned Cologne, "what else did you choose? You said each one picked two problems."
"I, I," she stammered. "The Maoniichuan curse," she finally answered, almost whispering.
"My goodness! The demon could manipulate Jusenkyou's magic like that!" exclaimed the Matriarch. Jusenkyou curses were extremely strong and Cologne believe the origin of the pools to be related with the Kami or possibly with their counterparts from down under.
To test the theory the doctor grabbed a nearby glass of water and turned it on the girl, who remained unchanged.
"You're free from the curses, Shampoo. I'm glad you're no longer a cat."
At that Shampoo shuddered and began to panic. Scenes of a pit, darkness, yowls and terrible claws and fangs were appearing in her head. "C-C-CATS! GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!" The scared girl jump out of the bed and knocked herself out cold, hitting the wardrobe head first.
Toufuu picked the girl up and gently put her on the bed again.
"Son-in-law, you didn't..."
"This is serious, Elder. I think I will see how Ranma and Akane are doing. Then I'll check how the okomiyaki chef is doing."
"Please do, Ono-san. I'll be taking care of my great-granddaughter and wait for the fool that works here. Thanks for coming so quickly. I hope you'll accept your payment as usual."
"As long as you're cooking, elder, as long as you're cooking."
---
Ukyou has finally stopped crying and was thinking. The only black piglet she had ever seen in Nerima was Akane's pet, P-chan. And P-chan was always wearing a black and yellow bandana, just like Ryouga.
It was the only explanation possible. Ryouga was there with them, and she couldn't remember ever seeing Ryouga and P-chan together. That the fool was in love with Akane she knew well, but how he would manage to keep it a secret?
'Ranma! He had to know! And that would explain all the pigs jokes and insults he uses! But how come he let it happen? Why doesn't he tell Akane her pet pig is Ryouga?'
Frustrated with the lack of answers and enraged with the lost boy, Ukyou settled to give the boy a piece of her mind and the business end of her spatula. Arming herself with her weapons of choice, she gained the street.
The Tendou doujou seemed a good place to start searching.
---
Mousse was an amazon with a mission. Probably the most dangerous type, even it the mission was a simple one – reach doctor Toufuu office, and bring him to the Nekohanten. What could go wrong?
Dangerous words, especially for Neriman martial artists.
The doctor has obviously relocate his office and despite having asked several passersby for directions of his new office, he couldn't find the damn place!
'Saotome! You must have given me false directions to stop me helping my beloved Shampoo so you could do it yourself! You'll pay for this!' he thought, almost growling.
The buildings around him were becoming scarce and soon he found himself in a rural area.
'Rural area in Tokyo?' the boy wondered. He stop running and decide to ask a nearby farmer where he was and how to get back home.
"Excuse me, sir, could you please inform where I am? And which is the best way to reach the Nerima Ward?"
The farmer stop his work and yelled to a woman who was close by.
"Hey wife, you ain't going to believe it, there's another one!"
"Another one? I don't understand you, sir."
The woman joined them and her husband addressed her, laughing. "He also want to know how to go to Nerima!"
"What my husband is trying to say is that a boy your age with a huge pack and a black and yellow bandana is always passing by asking this same question! If you find him you two can travel together," she said, smacking her unhelpful husband in the arm.
"NOOOOOOO!!!!" screamed the amazon, running down the road.
"Hey, he's going in the right direction! And we haven't even told him anything."
"We should have tried that a long time ago," the man responded, resuming his work.
---
'Great! The furou is full!' thought Akane, entering the bathroom. She would have to literally throw Neko-Ranma in the furou and then run away to avoid seeing him in the nude. She would never give the hentai this satisfaction. Even in the worst scenario he would still be on the Nekoken and she would have to quiet him the normal way. 'Hope he won't do anything perverted if it comes to that, we can't just splash him to bring him back now,' she concluded, passing by the redheaded in the mirror.
Redheaded in the mirror?
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Author's notes:
Appointing the problems of the NWC was a hard thing to do and I kept changing my mind each time I thought about it. In the end, I've decided to do exactly the same thing Mara did and randomly roll the results with the aid of my trusty dice. I've rolled three sets of results.
In one Ranma and Shampoo were lucky enough to be free of any problems and Mousse had the three other Jusenkyou curses (I ain't touching that one not even with a 10 feet pole) and therefore not suitable for this story. The second was just a recipe for homicide, with Ryouga with both the Nekoken and the Maoniichuan curse, Shampoo with Akane's temper and Ranma with Ukyou's hatred for his father. The third one worked like a charm, and I've got some results that I would never have picked consciously, but proved to be very funny to write about.
I would like to thank Chi Vanye, who kindly offered to pre-read my work.
Please review my story, it is greatly appreciated.
By Fangorn (3-VIII-2003)
fangorn_ff@terra.com.br