**
Later in the morning, Felice left the house with her sports bag and a long shopping list.
She loaded the bag in her small black cabriolet and drove into the inner city.
In a few days, they would take the plane to visit her family and she still had no clue what present to buy for her parent's wedding anniversary.
And not only for her parents.
There were still her grandparents and a whole bunch of younger cousins who would expect at least some small presents.
Well, these she could buy with the Twins in tow. At least then she could choose in peace because no salesman would dare to pester her when her lovely husbands were around.
But before she could go shopping, her martial arts training became due.
She sighed.
Fighting had never been one of her interests, but the Twins insisted that she had to be able to defend herself properly. First, they had tried to teach her themselves.
Felice winced mentally as she remembered that disaster.
One and Two, well especially Two, weren't able to understand or simply accept that she didn't inherit their fighting skills. After all she could phase and shared their telepathically link, even if the connection wasn't as strong as between the Twins.
Two, who was a god damned perfectionist, firmly believed that she just didn't try hard enough.
It had been nerve-wracking.
Surprisingly, it had been One who had found a compromise.
She would do her martial arts training in one of the many studios in town.
But training her how to fight with her razor-blade, which she almost hated more than training kung-fu, would still be their responsibility.
After they had come to terms with that, One and Two had spent three weeks to choose a suitable teacher for her.
In their own and subtle way, of course.
This meant that they had stalked the poor men after work and attacked them in dark corners to test their abilities, of course.
And they didn't have fun thereby, of course…
Tom, her present trainer, had to wear those nice bandages for weeks.
She liked Tom; he was a nice person and a good trainer. And training with him was certainly more relaxing than training with your own husband.
There was just one problem…
Tom was a very communicative person, very curious about her personal life.
And not uninterested in her.
He had seen her wedding ring, of course.
But she couldn't introduce One or Two to him, of course. Or both of them.
Not after they had beaten him to a bloody pulp just a month ago.
And after all those weeks with her excuses, she feared that he believed that her husband was just imaginary and an excuse to keep men away from her.
**
"Hi Feli, sweetheart! How are you this wonderful morning?" Tom asked cheerily as she entered the studio.
"Oh fine, and you?" Felice asked and put her bag on the floor.
"Well, better…certainly better! Do you want to hear the news before we begin with the training?"
"Of course, what is it?"
"The police finally released a composite picture of those two mad men who attacked me last month!" he announced proudly.
"OH!"
"Do you want to see it?" he asked eagerly.
"Sure, let me see!" Felice murmured with shaking voice.
Tom gave a sheet to her.
Felice gazed at it and then audibly exhaled her breath.
Fortunately, the two ridiculous faces on the sheet had nothing in common with her beloved husbands.
She studied the picture.
Two pale and definitive ugly faces with crooked teeth and hollow eyes looked at her.
Tom, who interpreted her curiosity as fear, laid an arm around her shoulders.
"That was the fight of my life, sweetheart!" he said and put on airs.
"I kicked and punched, but they wouldn't surrender! But then I made my final move, this wonderful trick I'm going to teach you one day sweetheart, and then they went to the ground, beaten and begging for mercy!"
Felice, who knew that the Twins just had treated him kind because they wanted him to teach her and not because they weren't able to kick his ass, desperately tried to stifle a giggle that dared to escape her throat.
**
"How much time is left?" asked One, who sat cross-legged on the carpet and tried to assemble his clothes tree. Again.
Two, who just returned from buying food in his preferred super market, heaved three full bags into the kitchen. One got up from the carpet and followed him, leaving a trace of sawdust behind him. Two looked at his watch after he put down the bags.
"Just thirty minutes till we pick her up! Did you scrub the toilet like she told you to?" he smirked.
One pouted.
"Why do I always have to do that?"
"Because it was you who scared the last cleaning lady away!!" Two scolded.
"I didn't!"
"Yes, you did! You've hidden behind the shower curtain, almost naked, with those awful goggles on and a rubber ducky on your head. And then you said ´Booo`!"
"You thought it was funny!"
"Thhh! You know how touchy humans can be! Stop complaining and go scrub the toilet! I'll prepare lunch in the meantime!!"
One craned his neck as Two drained the bags.
"What will you cook today?" he asked carefully.
"Tagliatelle con salmone!" Two said proudly.
"Huh?"
Two snorted.
"Pasta with salmon, nitwit!"
"Oh yummy yummy!" One sighed and left for the bathroom.
**
"Tom?" Felice asked after their training.
"What is it, sweetheart?"
"I just wanted to tell you that I won't be here the next two or three weeks!"
Tom got up from behind his desk and approached her curiously.
"I'm going to visit my family. You know family celebrations and that stuff!"
"Well, that's interesting! Where do they live?" he asked.
"Germany." Felice closed her bag and prepared to leave.
"I'm going to miss you, but maybe…who knows? The world is small!" he winked at her and took her bag.
"Let me carry this for you!"
"Thank you, but that won't be necessary! I parked just a block away!"
With good reason, as the twins had promised to pick her up. The black cabriolet was too small for shopping. They had agreed to stay in their jeep and wait till she would come out. If Tom accompanied her, he would see them.
"Oh, but I insist! There are far too many criminals on the streets these days! I couldn't forgive myself if something would happen to you, not with these two mad albinos around! A charming young lady like you would be easy prey for them, you know!"
"But-"
"No arguments, Feli! I escort you to your car. Really, you can be so stubborn sometimes!"
Felice sighed.
Tom grabbed her bag and together they left the studio.
As they went around the corner, Felice could already see the familiar jeep which stood right behind her own car. Two white silhouettes stood out against the windshield if you looked closer. Fortunately, Tom was so busy with flirting that he didn't notice it.
*Down!* she activated the telepathically link between them.
Two minds winded themselves into her own. For the split of a second, she could see through One's eyes, watching herself next to a tall man with short brown hair and brown eyes approaching the car. She stopped.
"Is everything alright?" Tom asked and grasped her elbow.
Anger surged through their connection.
She shook his hand off.
*Get down! Hide! He mustn't see you!"*
"Felice?"
"Uh oh, everything alright, don´t worry!"
Tom eyed her sceptically.
"You´re looking a bit too pale for my taste…I know, what about a nice hot coffee? That would be good for you now!" he suggested.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw the two white silhouettes phase and get invisible.
But the angry feeling was still there.
The Twins were definitely not amused.
Another problem she had to get rid off soon.
Jealousy.
"Oh I'm fine!" she looked at her watch.
"Oooh and I'm terribly late! I'm sorry Tom, but I have to go now! I see you in three weeks then!!" she pulled the bag out of his hands and run the last few meters to her car and put her bag in, secretely watching Tom till he disappeared behind the corner shaking his head and smiling.
Great.
Now he thought she was being shy.
She closed the trunk and sighed.
Feeling the Twins getting solid again, she got into the jeep and sat down between them.
Two seemed to be grumpy while a highly unpleasant smirk played around One's mouth. She kissed them on the cheek.
Two, always being the one driving, started the motor.
The first minutes passed in silence.
"He touched you!" One stated the obvious.
Felice sighed. She was doing that a lot since the last six months, she thought.
"In a social accepted way!" she tried to explain.
Two's lips formed into a sneer.
"Touching other men's wives is socially accepted?" One asked acidly.
"One…." Felice said in a warning tone.
"Don't start it again! We had this discussion already! You can't murder every man who shakes my hand or volunteers to carry my bag! That's totally usual behaviour for humans!"
She took his hand and stroked it.
"We should have kicked his ass as we had the chance!" Two said quietly.
Felice rolled her eyes in disbelief.
Men!!
**
In the shopping mall
"Look at these! Nice, aren't they?" Felice said and held up two terribly gaudy porcelain figures. A shepherd and a milkmaid.
One and Two shuddered simultaneously.
Two managed to nod.
Because they had promised Felice to behave, One decided to ignore the impudent salesman who pestered his wife all the time and the fat old man, who still lingered a few meters away from them. Never getting nearer but constantly making eyes at his wife.
Felice gave the figurines to the ecstatic salesman who suspected the sale of his life and proceeded to look at another few representatives of bad taste.
One nudged Two in the ribs and pointed with his chin at fat man, who in the meantime pretended to study a porcelain guide while in truth eyeing Felices bottom with great interest. Two raised his eyebrow and studied the man. Then he shook his head.
He didn't want to anger Felice more than necessary.
Felice finished buying another two porcelain figures, a cupid and a horseman, and looked at the two of them.
"What about you two choosing some nice razor blades or something like that for the male part of the family?"
They entered the arms shop in the basement, where the Twins broke in some kind of hysterically euphoria while studying a hundred and one different sorts of razor- and snap blades, examining and swirling them in their hands and making comments about them.
Felice suddenly was reminded of two boys who just broke into a candy store.
She turned to look into a shelf where the owner had decorated some of the smallest silver pistols she had ever seen as she noticed a shadow lurking in the corner next to her.
It was fat man and he gifted her with a particularly lecherous gaze.
Maybe she shouldn't have worn the leather corset today?
She shuddered and stepped beside One who was busy examining a switchblade.
"Do me a favour?" she asked and fluttered her eyelashes at him.
One got that dreamy look behind his sunglasses again and nodded.
"Everything, my dear!"
"See that man over there? I want you to go and scare him to death! Would you do that for me?"
Now Two's head perked up behind another shelf with blades and he stepped beside his twin.
One's lips started quivering and he lowered the switchblade.
"Say that again!" his voice was raspy.
Felice smiled lascivious.
So that was the kind of dirty talk that turned One on?
Interesting…
Standing on tiptoes, she brought her face near to One's and whispered in a low and seductive voice.
"I…want…you…to…kick…his..ass!" she purred.
The switch blade dropped out of his hand and onto the floor.
"Oh yesss! Baby, I love you!" One nearly cried.
Then he was gone in a whirlwind of silver coat.
She smiled smugly and turned to look at Two.
He opened his mouth to speak.
Out came just a small croak. His throat was terribly dry…
"And what do you think about this one?" Felice asked innocently and pointed at a very expensive silver dagger.
**
Thirty minutes later, they left the shop and returned to their car.
Felice didn't ask what One had done to the man; she didn't really want to know…
At least she had been able to satisfy the killer instinct in them a little and she had been able to do her shopping.
All in all acceptable results for today!
*RIP*
One of her bags had ripped under the pressure of too much horrible tawdry presents and vomited its contents out on the marble floor.
As she and the Twins got on their knees to collect the items, Felice glanced through the shop window next to her.
Wait a minute, this face looked awfully familiar!
She nudged Two in the ribs. Hard.
"Look, isn't that Neo in there?"
**
What has One done to the man?
Will we see Tom again in this story (*wink wink, nudge nudge*)?
And will the Twins do unspeakable things to him?
Will we get to hear a speech about the joys of insurance brokerage from Neo?
And will One finally succeed in assembling his master piece of handy craft?
Be nice and review!
Reviews make me write faster ;-)