Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix and the song below belongs to Donna Summer!
**
„I wouldn't know what to tell her Mama, really! " Felice said to her mother.
"Look Schatz, Sandra always was a….shy person. Innocent in a way just few girls are today. She needs someone to talk to, someone who takes away her fear of the marriage!" her mother said intently.
"Her fear of marriage?"
Annalena Guildenstern shook her head.
"The wedding night!" she explained.
"Oh."
"And I think she would appreciate it more if someone her own generation would talk to her! Why don't you take Niobe and Trinity with you as well? That could be helpful!"
Felice thought of Niobe and her moods and pitied the poor girl. Niobe surely would scare her for good.
"And after you have talked to her you'll have a nice evening! I'll take care of everything!"
Felice sighed in defeat.
Two cursed.
He was lost.
Again.
Damn that big house with the countless floors, corridors and rooms which all looked the same!
He had tried to find the nearest bathroom next to the dining hall and now he wandered aimlessly through the house.
And he had no clue where exactly he was.
He furrowed his brow and looked out of a nearby window. He could see woods. Wonderful! The mansion was surrounded by woods at three of four sides.
Two propped his elbows on the window sill and tried to concentrate.
He didn't want to contact One, because he was sure that his twin would tease him merciless if he found out that he got lost.
Again.
And Felice seemed to be deep in conversation because she didn't respond to his telepathic "knock".
*Squeekasqueekasqueeka*
His head snapped up.
Then something heavy and metallic hit his heels.
"Tehehheeehhee" someone giggled.
He turned around warily.
It was grandma in her wheelchair.
The ancient little woman smiled that toothless smile he had learned to fear again.
He tried to back away.
Damn!
He was cornered between the wheelchair and the window sill.
There were only two options:
Phase
Or jump out of the window.
Well, he couldn't phase because the old lady would likely get a heart attack if he did so and he was sure that Felice wouldn't appreciate that.
And jump out of the window….
"Get a little bit nearer my son, I want to see your face and my eyes are not that good any more!" she cackled.
Now cold sweat began to trickle down his back and drench his fresh shirt.
Slowly, very slowly he bent down till he was eye to eye with grandma. That woman really had to be ancient! The wrinkles in her face reminded him of that Asian dog race which name he already had forgotten. Two grey eyes sparkled mischievously and the thin hands clawed into the brown camel's hair cover on her lap. White-grey hair on her head was fixed in a cement hart knot.
"Oh my, what a pretty boy you are! But you should get out more often, you're too pale!"
Suddenly one of the claw like hands shot out and grasped the flesh of his left cheek in a surprisingly strong grip.
And tugged at it.
Hard.
Till his teeth chattered.
And suddenly jumping out of the window seemed a good idea…
"Grandma!! Let go off him, now!!"
His cheek was released and Two resisted the urge to slump onto his knees and whimper like a frightened child.
Felice rolled her grandmother back into her room and then carefully took Two's hand and guided him back into their suite. On the way she picked up a shocked and confused looking One who immediately grasped her other hand and refused to let go off it till they arrived at their rooms.
She left them on the couch and searched the bar for something alcoholic.
It took three big glasses of cognac to calm them down a bit.
**
Later in the evening…
"And the surprise as I found out that I was pregnant!" Niobe waved her hands dramatically through the air.
Poor Sandra clutched her pillow tighter.
"I had to vomit every morning, before breakfast. And after breakfast. And after lunch, of course!"
Sandra's eyes grew bigger every minute.
"That isn't going as planned!" Trinity hissed to Felice who opened another bottle of champagne.
"And then the pain in my back! Each time I get up it's like a chain saw that cuts through my spine!"
"What a pity that Niobe isn't allowed to drink alcohol at the moment…" she glanced at the bottle and smiled.
"But we still can try to fill Sandra up a little bit!" she smiled devilishly.
"And here we are!" Jürgen said to the Twins as they entered the bar he had chosen for the bachelor parting party.
Two raised his eyebrows. Well, the establishment looked a bit…rustic. Heavy oaken furniture and a lot of dead animal's heads on the walls. Red-white checked tablecloths and oil paintings with hunting scenes.
Disgusting.
And definitely not the kind of bar where the beautiful people went.
He sighed.
Next to him One first shook his head in disgust then his glance got stiff and he started sweating.
Two looked at his twin puzzled and followed his gaze. It was directed at Jürgen who approached them with a bundle of clothes in his arms.
"Here guys, take off your coats and your shirts! Tonight we're all wearing this!" he gave a set of t-shirts and hats to them.
"You're joking!" One started a last attempt to avoid the dawning disaster.
Jürgen´s gaze became stern.
"That's tradition! Don't start complaining, just get over there and put it on!!"
Two sighed defeated and grabbed the offending items out of his arms.
Muttering and cursing, One and Two entered the men's room and changed into their "traditional party clothes" as Jürgen had titled them.
"Oh no! I'm so not wearing this! Have you seen the picture on the shirt?" One complained out of his toilet cabin.
Silence.
Then two white coats were flipped over the door frame at the exactly same moment.
"I'm seriously hoping that we don't see any old acquaintances this night!" Two mumbled.
Two vests landed on the coats.
"That's embarrassing, really!" One complained.
Two simply sulked in his cabin.
Then two ties flew over the cabin's door followed from two light-grey expensive looking shirts.
A minute later both doors opened and the Twins stepped out and looked at their reflections in the mirror over the sink.
One sighed.
"We are getting aggravated…"
"Yes, we are!" Two agreed.
**
Felice (using a banana as microphone and wearing a pink plastic girlie shirt written "Diva" in red glitter on the chest):
"Sittin´ here eatin´ my heart out waitin´
waitin´ for some lover to call
dialled about a thousands numbers lately
almost range the phone off the wall!"
Felice, Trinity and Sandra (after the fourth bottle of champagne, jumping on Sandra's bed):
"Looking for some hot stuff baby this evenin´
I need some hot stuff baby tonight
I need hot stuff
I want some hot stuff
I need hot stuff
Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff
Hot, hot, hot
Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff
Hot, hot, hot
Trinity (wearing a blonde wig and some of Felices stilettos):
"How´s that hot stuff baby this evenin´
I need some hot stuff baby tonight
Gimme little hot stuff baby this evenin´
Hot stuff baaaaaby got to I need your love tonight
I need hot stuff
Looking for hot stuff
I want some hot stuff!"
Niobe (sitting on a chair, totally sober and looking terribly bored):
"Aaaarggghh!!"
Sandra (wearing a French chamber maid's costume with fish net stockings):
"Sittin´ here eatin´ my heart out
no reason
Won´t spend another night on my own
I dialled about a thousand numbers baaaaaaby
I'm bound to find somebody home!"
All three (now almost hysterically):
"Gotta have some hot stuff baby this evenin´
I need some hot stuff baby tonight
Looking´ for some hot stuff baby this evenin´
I need your love baby
Don't need your love tonight
Hot stuff
Baby this evenin´
I need hot stuff baby tonight
Yes, yes, yes now hot stuff baby
I need your hot stuff baby tonight
I want some hot stuff baby this evenin´
Hot stuff baaaaaby
Got to I need your looooooooove tonight!!!"
Then they slumped totally exhausted onto the now slightly ruined bed.
"That was fun!" Sandra beamed.
Trinity plugged the wig off her head and grabbed for the last bottle of champagne.
They relaxed a few minutes in silence.
"You know, that's not fair!" Sandra suddenly complained after another sip.
"What?" Felice asked.
"The men get a party out in town and we are stuck in the house! Unfair!" she pouted.
Trinity hiccupped and squinted at Felice.
"She's got a point there, you know!"
Felice giggled.
"You're just stupid!"
"Huh?" Sandra said.
"Well, if we want to go out, why don't we simply do it?"
**
"Why do I always get pursued into things like that?" Niobe muttered as they drove into the nearest city.
"Because you're the only one left of us who is not drunk yet!" Trinity smirked.
They had changed in a more…suitable outfit for serious partying, which meant that they all (with exception of Niobe of course) now wore mini dresses all over embroidered with sequins. Trinity's was, of course, black. Sandra's was red and Felices was silver. Niobe had forced her belly in black loose silk.
"Okay, where do you want to go?" Niobe asked irritabled.
Felice pondered various clubs and bars.
"There's a pretty cool night club just two streets away! Turn the next left!" she ordered her friend.
"Hey, wait a minute! That's Klaus car over there!" Sandra suddenly screamed and pointed at a small blue car.
Niobe stopped and they all craned their necks.
Out of the open doors of the bar came shouting and party noise.
"And there's Jürgen´s car too!" Felice pointed out.
"Seems we found their party!" Trinity said.
Silence.
"Felice?" Sandra asked shyly.
"Yes?"
"Would it be okay…I mean it couldn't possibly hurt if we…go in and risk a quick glance?"
"You're curious, aren't you?" Trinity teased her.
Felice, who suddenly remembered that the Twins were in there as well, snickered.
"I wouldn't know what could be so bad about it! But don't get angry if they got a stripper in there!"
"A stripper?? No way, Klaus wouldn't do that!" Sandra defended her fiancée.
"Oh Klaus probably not, but Jürgen would!"
"Another good reason to take a look!" Trinity said resolutely and opened the car's door.
"Are you enjoying yourselves my friends?" Jürgen asked and offered them another schnapps.
Doppelkorn, One reminded himself as he gulped the clear liquid in one swig like Jürgen had told them to.
After a first uncomfortable hour they had found themselves pretty quick engaged in several drinking games and tests of courage. All guests had sort of bathed in Doppelkorn and beer and after that hour they didn't feel uncomfortable in their "party clothes" any more.
One was smug because he had won a drinking contest against the landlord himself (the joys of being a program, ah yes!).
And Two was delighted because he finally succeeded in getting the recipe for roast with sauerkraut (he planned to cook it for Felice if they returned home to prevent homesickness).
All in one:
It promised to become a nice evening.
"Are you ready for the big show down then?" Jürgen asked and pointed at the kitchen doors.
A few moments later the doors opened and an enormous cake was rolled in by two waiters.
One raised an eye brow and looked at his Twin. The party was fine so far, but lacked one thing:
Girls.
The cake was placed in the middle of the room and Jürgen mentioned for a slightly drunken Klaus to step forward.
Jürgen´s following little speech ended with a dramatically "Tadaaaahh!!" and out of the cake jumped a really sparsely clothed young woman.
Two blinked and took a second, closer look.
Blonde, wavy hair. With two pink bunny ears attached to it.
Blue eyes.
And that pout on her lips…
It was Julia.
And she was looking at him.
**
"Can you see him?" Trinity asked as they shoved themselves through the incredible noisy crowd.
"Not yet!" Felice answered and tried to calm Niobe down who just attempted to kick one of the drunken men right between the legs.
Then suddenly applause, cheering and wolf whistling could be heard and music kicked in.
That kind of music one would expect in a cheap porn movie.
Sandra's gaze turned determined and she pushed the people who were blocking her way to the sides. Felice, Niobe and Trinity followed in her wake.
More wolf whistling and a bra flew through the air.
Then the crowd in front of them parted and they could see….
At the first moment Felice didn't want to believe her eyes.
Her friends next to her gasped.
There, on the first table sat One and Two, her husbands. They didn't wear their coats anymore, but instead white t-shirts with a naked woman printed on them. And at the place where her genital area should be was a patch of black fur attached. They also wore folkloric green felt hats with chamois beards on them.
But that wasn't exactly what troubled Felice.
It was the fact that her beloved cousin Julia sat on One's lap, her legs spread on Two's. both of them had lipstick on their faces.
Julia only wore her underpants and was about to push One's face right between her breasts.
That beast turned her head and looked Felice in the eye.
And she smirked.
The crowd suddenly got very silent.
Two finally spotted her and had the decency to blush deep pink.
Jürgen appeared out of nowhere and tried to approach her while Felices stomach first did somersaults and then decided to complain about the five bottles champagne they had emptied together.
She snatched the car keys out of Niobes numb hands and fled the bar.
**
Ohoh, Cliffhanger….
Review and I might release you from your curiosity *evil smirk*
And for those of you who wondered why Neo and Morpheus weren't at the party…well, they don't belong to the family, do they?
But don't worry, I didn't forget them ;-)