Disclaimer: Blablabla…
**
„Let's get out of here! " Two suggested as the cheering crowd went to congratulate the freshly married couple.
One nodded and craned his neck to spot Felice under the guests. During the whole ceremony her face had terribly resembled a thundercloud and she had pointedly ignored them. They left the church and entered the restaurant where they headed for the men's room.
"I need to get out of this…well it would be a mockery to call these clothes!" One grumbled and fumbled at the pant's buttons.
Two left his cabin and turned to the sink to wash his hands.
He heard some quietly cursing out of his brother's direction.
"Do you have any problems in there? Hurry up; the meal starts in a few minutes!" Two addressed his twin who still hadn't left his cabin.
One coughed embarrassed.
Two adjusted his tie and sighed.
"What is it?" he asked slightly impatiently. One was always the lazy one.
"I….ahem…got some problems with the pants!" he whispered.
"Excuse me?"
"The pants…I can't get them open!" One whispered very quietly and very ashamed.
Two sighed.
"Well, get out of there and let me have a look at it!" he ordered One.
Slowly One opened the door of his toilet cabin and stepped out.
Two groaned. Somehow One had managed to get half of his shirt between the buttons and the integrated zipper.
He was stuck.
Literally.
**
"Yes, I think you're right, Trin. I really should talk to them, I mean, after all we're adults and nothing really bad had happened!"
Trinity beamed and patted Felice on the arm.
"That's right! And Julia isn't a competition for you!"
They entered the restaurant and Felice looked around.
"I wonder where they are…"
**
"I don't think that that's a good idea…" One complained as Neo kneeled down in front of him to solve his little dilemma.
"Oh shut up!" Neo hissed and bent down to examine the fastener.
He furrowed his brow.
One got fidgety.
"Keep still, will you?" Neo hissed.
"Don't stare at my crotch like this, wonder boy!" One hissed back. "That creeps me out!"
"I don't stare at your crotch! The mere thought makes me throw up! Now hold still!"
Suddenly he grinned.
"And besides, what's there to stare?"
"What do you mean with that?" One flared up and nudged him on the head.
"Aargh! That's it! I don't care, do what you want! I'm not going to help you anymore if you're behaving this immature!"Neo shouted and got up.
Better said he tried to.
*Zzzippp*
"Aargh! Morpheus, help me! Help me, I'm stuck!!" Neo screeched and jumped.
While getting up his tie got caught in the half open fastening of One's pants.
"Two! Help!!" One screamed and shuddered. Neo´s head was now, thanks to the voracious zipper of his pants, firmly stuck at height of his crotch.
Two twitched. Morpheus shuddered. Neo desperately tried to free himself.
Two grabbed Neo´s head and tried to push it away from his crotch.
It was a mess.
In an attempt to help, Morpheus stepped behind Neo and tried to pull his head away, too.
"The switch blade, Two! Cut that damned tie!!" One hissed in panic.
Two pulled out his blade and approached Neo.
That was too much.
Seeing the razor blade getting near his throat, Neo screamed and tried to break free. The sudden motion catapulted the trio against the door which sprung open, so all of them stumbled out onto the restaurant's floor.
**
"Holy shit…." Felice managed to say.
"Oh..my…god..NEO!!" Trinity screeched as she noticed the location of her boyfriend's face.
Morpheus, Neo and One froze on their spot and slowly looked at the women.
Two used the opportunity to cut Neo´s tie and free him out of the dilemma.
Trinity put her hands on her hips, her eyes flaring. Felice looked shocked.
"Neo my dear, would you be so kind to explain to me what that was?" Trinity purred dangerously quiet.
Neo´s face blushed deep red as he tried to explain.
While she listened to Neo´s stammering, someone tapped Felice on the shoulder. She turned around and looked at one of the waiters.
"Excuse me, Mrs. Guildenstern-Jumeaux?"
"You bastard!! Cheating on me, he?" Trinity screeched behind her back.
"Yes?"
"Nononono…please darling..please, it´s not how it looks like! Let me explain!" whimpered Neo.
"There's someone who wishes to speak to you!" the man gestured toward the entrance door.
"Okay, I'm coming!" Felice sighed and left Trinity to deal with the disaster.
**
The restaurant her family had rented for the wedding festivities belonged to the rooms of a very big and very expensive meeting place. She stepped out on the floor and looked around. Suddenly someone approached her from behind and covered her eyes with his hands.
"Guess who!" a familiar voice chuckled.
Felice groaned. Not today, please not, dear gods have mercy!!
"Tom?"
The hands gave her eyes free and she turned around. It was Tom, indeed.
Great!
"Tom, what are you doing here?" she sighed.
Tom gestured towards another hall of the building, which entrance was decorated with a huge banner.
"Annual meeting of the union of martial arts teachers" it said.
"Well isn't this funny? It seems that you're constantly crossing my way!" Felice made a lame attempt to be funny.
Tom suddenly looked at her with the darkest eyes she ever had seen. He took her hand.
"You know, Feli sweetheart, I don't believe any more that its coincidence, I believe its providence!" he whispered.
"What do you mean?" she asked suspiciously.
He stroked her arm.
"You look very lovely in that dress, my dear!" he purred seductively.
Felice blushed. She still wore that terrible red-white dirndl.
"I have to go now, they're serving lunch in a few minutes!" she said and tried to free her arm out of his grasp.
Instead of releasing her, Tom pulled her close.
And then he kissed her.
Felice, who still held a grudge against the Twins, was that shocked at the first moment that she wasn't able to protest.
Tom, who took that as a sign of appreciation, pulled her even close and deepened the kiss.
Finally Felices brain kicked in again and she freed herself out of his embrace.
"I'll see you later, sweetheart!" Tom purred and vanished in the crowd again.
Felice just stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds, and then she decided to return into the restaurant.
"Well, if that isn't a surprise!" someone giggled evilly behind her back.
She turned around.
Damn!
It was Julia…
"So the model daughter and wife isn't that well-behaved like every body believes! You know, I would be very cautiously now with what I say if I were you…"
**
At night, in Felices room.
"What shall I do?"
"Well, you can't do pretty else than waiting and avoiding Tom as much as possible. And avoiding Julia, of course." Trinity pondered.
They were sitting on Felices bed and drinking Whisky.
"You're right, but what do I do if she starts flirting with them again? I'm not sure if I could hold back myself…" Felice gulped and stared at the glass in her hand.
Trinity sighed and helped herself to another drink.
"Why don't you tell them?"
Felice coughed.
"I can't! That's impossible! They would kill him if they knew! You know how protective they are about me…"
Trinity's gaze darkened and she clenched her fist. Felice patted her on the shoulder.
"Are you still angry because that little…accident?"
"No, no of course not!" Trinity hissed through her teeth.
Felice laughed.
"And you told me to act like an adult!"
Trinity smiled.
"Cheers!"
"Prost!"
**
At the same time in Neo´s room
Morpheus grinned and cleared his throat.
After the unfortunately events of the morning Neo had asked to be taught about how to be a proper husband too.
Now the three of them stood in a line, mournful expressions on their faces, while Morpheus paced up and down and stroked his imaginary beard.
Oh he never had felt better since his days as captain of the Nebuchadnezzar. Before Niobe had gotten pregnant, he corrected himself quietly.
"Well…" he began awfully slowly.
Two sighed impatiently.
One suppressed the temptation to whisper "pen pusher" into Neo´s ear, who stood next to him.
Neo listened intently while his facial expression changed from mournful to that of a puppy dog.
Morpheus smirked.
"Well young friends, the first step to keep a woman at your side is to keep the house clean!" he stated, stopped in front of Two and looked him critically in the eye.
Two sighed irritated.
"Answer me; did you ever clean a toilet?"
Two shook his head.
"And you! Did you ever in your life wash the curtains?" he addressed One.
One looked at him as if he had gone nuts.
"Of course not, I'm an assassin! A real good one too! I don't need to wash curtains!" One said stubbornly and tried to look menacingly.
Morpheus just laughed at him.
"And you, did you ever cook a meal for your wife- I mean girlfriend?"
Neo looked ashamed down on his feet. Then he quietly whispered "No".
Morpheus started pacing again.
"Well, today we'll start with something simple!" he opened a closet and pulled out a strange looking machine that none of the Twins had seen in their lives before.
"Today I teach you how to use a vacuum cleaner!" Morpheus beamed.
Five minutes later, all three of them tried to clean the carpet with a terrible old and monstrous looking vacuum cleaner. Neo, who proudly held the pipe, danced in small circles over the carpet and whistled the melody from "YMCA". Two had been ordered to carry the cleaner itself and cursed quietly because on the case of the cleaner seemed to be more dirt then on the whole floor. He feared for his coat and pants. One had been ordered to watch and learn and got bored from all the dancing and whistling. He wrinkled his nose.
"Moooorphi!!!" it yelled from next door. Morpheus twitched.
"I'll be back in a minute! Please don't do anything stupid!!"
He left the room to look after Niobe.
"You've overlooked a bit of fluff. There!" One pointed at a perfectly clean spot on the carpet.
Neo sighed.
"There's nothing!"
"There is!"
"Where?"
"There!" One stepped forward and bent down to show the fluff to the chosen One.
Unfortunately, he got to close to the cleaner pipe and it accidentally vacuumed the border of his coat in. One cursed.
"Turn it off, turn it off! It has eaten my coat!"
Neo fumbled with the pipe.
"Turn it off!"
"Stop yelling, I'm trying!" Neo scolded.
"I knew that you're incompetent, damn pen pusher!"
"Aaarggghhh!" screamed Neo.
"Oh no!" sighed Two and let go off the cleaner to help his twin.
In the attempt to throw his arms over his head, the pipe in Neo´s hands got off One's coat and tilted upwards. Neo himself cowered on the floor and whimpered.
Now unfortunately the pipe got near One's throat. Too near.
"Help!!"
**
"You know, the alcohol I brought from Zion is really good. I distilled it myself!" Trinity said proudly as they were on their way to her room to fetch more to drink.
Felice giggled.
"You've distilled your own schnapps?"
"Yeah, after Neo decided to play the insurance broker I really needed a hobby! I tried knitting, making pottery, sumo wrestling and nude painting."
They finally reached the room Trinity shared with Neo.
"What's that noise?" Felice asked suddenly.
Trinity opened the door.
And cursed.
Two had finally succeeded in getting off the cleaner's pipe from his brother's throat.
Next to them, Morpheus held Neo in something that awfully resembled an embrace. It didn't exactly improve the impression that Neo mumbled strange things and that his hips twitched.
Felice now entered the room and gaped.
Right on One's throat was a HUGE red blotch that suspiciously looked like a love bite.
A HUGE love bite.
The men smiled embarrassed.
The girls looked at each other, then turned on their heels and left the room.
"Oh wonderful!" One groaned as the door smashed shut.
"Now they're thinking we're gay!"
**
Trinity decided to look after Niobe to calm her nerves.
"We've got to help her somehow!" Trinity said to her after she told Niobe about Julia's black mailing.
Niobe grinned evilly.
"Don't worry! I know a few really good tricks…."
"And we have to stay near to her!"
"Of course! As long as she's inside the house that's no problem for me, but outside you'll have to look after her!" Niobe said and patted her belly.
Trinity looked grim.
"I will!"
**
The next morning
"You know, I've always liked your red dress. That one with the silver fastenings!" Julia purred after she had spotted and cornered Felice in the kitchen.
Felice said nothing and looked out of the small window.
"And the golden ring grandma gave to you last Christmas!"
Trinity entered the kitchen from the other side and joined Niobe in front of the coffee machine. Between them and Felice stood several cupboards so that she couldn't see them.
"Why did you leave her alone?" Trinity asked irritated and watched Julia bullying her friend who still remained quiet.
Niobe filled coffee in two cups and decorated them with whipped cream and chocolate powder.
"That looks delicious!" Trinity said and reached for the second cup. Niobe shook her head.
"Ahahahaa…that's especially for Felice!" she twinkled, took the cup and went over to Felice.
Julia looked up in disgust as Niobe approached them.
"For you Feli, you look as if you could need a good coffee! That's my speciality, I call it ´dark dream´."
Felice took the cup from her and Niobe went back to the corner where Trinity stood.
Delicious fragrances after coffee, cream and chocolate flooded the room.
Niobe mentioned for Trinity to listen and watch.
"And I could need a new coat as well!"
Julia licked her lips.
Then she grabbed the mug out of Felices hands.
"Hey!" Felice protested.
"And I'm thirsty!"
She took a deep swig, smiled arrogantly and left the room.
Trinity and Niobe joined Felice who looked really angry.
"And what was that all about?" Trinity wanted to know. Niobe smirked and gave a small bottle to her.
"Laxative extra strong. Only use three drops." Trinity opened the bottle. It was empty.
Felices eye grew big.
"You haven´t…."
Niobe cackled.
"You wouldn't…" Trinity stammered.
"But that's personal injury!"
"Hah! Did Felice offer her the cup? No! It's her own responsibility if she drinks something that wasn't meant for her!"
Trinity and Felice started laughing.
"Niobe you're evil!"
Niobe looked terribly smug.
"Evil? You don't know what's really evil!"
She took a ring with several keys out of her pocket.
"That, ladies, is evil!"
"What's that?" Felice wanted to know.
Niobe smiled dangerously.
Suddenly they heard the sound of someone running wildly upstairs.
"These dear, are the keys to every single toilet in the whole house!"
**
The three of them decided to spend the rest of the day in the privacy of Felices room where they looked videos and ate pizza. The men had been banished from this room because Felice and Trinity were still angry with them. Although Trinity offered her to stay with her the night, Felice refused. She had a hobby to pursue.
"Haunting Julia"
"She's doing it again!" said One as they watched some boring show on TV.
"I know.." Two said.
"We shouldn't let her roam the house in her ghost form. It's still dangerous for her; remember when she got stuck in the staircase?"
Two looked up.
"How could I? The one half of her was in the staircase, the other half in the elevator!"
Then he furrowed his brow.
"You're right! We should look after her and we have to talk to her anyway! The whole thing is childish! We will excuse and everything will be alright again!"
One sighed and nodded.
"Yes, and we don't like to sleep alone anymore!"
"Then let's go!"
They floated through the house and came to a halt in front of a door.
"What does she want inside there?" One asked confused.
Then suddenly a silent scream teared the blockade away that Felice had built up between them the last days. The connection was there again and her surprise and her dismay flooded their own minds. Fast as lightening, they floated into the room where a shaking Felice wasn't able to control her ghost form anymore and phased back and forth. The twins got solid and Two embraced Felice in strong arms to calm her down a bit.
"Sshh its okay, we're here!"
"What's wrong?" One asked warily and looked around the darkened room.
With a shaking finger Felice pointed at the bed.
One stepped closer. There on the bed laid Julia, her baby blue eyes wide open and already dull.
The skilled assassin he was, One immediately noticed that she wasn't breathing anymore.
**
Who has done it?
Any presumptions?
It took me hours to write this chapter, so please, please review!!