Battle in Britain!

To Wizard1:Yeah, what took so long with Lance? Oh, We'll see if Cobra Commander and Doctor Evil start fighting like schoolgirls. Poor Dr. Evil, he's so out of touch. Who'll show up? Well, we'll see. Will we see Fat Bastard vs. Fred? Well, that would be a REAL Clash of the Titans! Find out!

To Red Witch: Will there be a slap fight between Cobra Commander and Dr. Evil? Who knows. I'd really like to see your takes on the Starr Family, Virus, the West Coast Misfits, and all the other craziness that goes on in my Misfit-verse. I'm glad you'll give Paul and Craig in your parodies. I also liked Mr. Murphy. Reminded me of Pietro. Oh, and BTW, I figured out Lina's mutation! Her mutation is insect-based, right? She'll have insect- like characteristics, like the Ultimate Universe version of the Wasp. In the ultimate Universe, the Wasp is a mutant.

To Jckidsmart: Kelly and Duncan torture in England? Well, I can see what I can do for you. I do remember that rocket joke. I don't know if I can do it in this story, though.

To Sparky Genocide: Yeah, I can imagine Austin Powers coming on to the female Joes. But knowing his charms, they'd love it! Hmmm, Misfits stopping by at Grace Bros. Who was the junior assistant of Ms. Slocombe, the pretty blonde. I can't remember her name. I want to be sure I have all the characters.

Chapter 3: Mutants of London!

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(London, England)

"Wow!" Wanda looked around at the old buildings that comprised London. "It's amazing. Many of these buildings are even older than the ones back home."

"Would it be considered an international incident if an Australian hanging with a bunch of Americans started the Second Great Fire of London?" John grinned.

"Don't you get any bright ideas." Lance warned. Jake noticed a long black car in front of a train station, and a certain blonde telepath emerging from it. The sneering wrestler slipped away, but not before grabbing a crowbar from a nearby construction site.

"Well we should check out Picadilly Circus. I think it's an old Roman town square." Cover Girl nodded.

"Too bad Sis is out on a mission." Bulldog grinned. "She'd love to be back home. This place beings back a lot of memories."

"Maybe we'll see Big Ben again." Shipwreck laughed.

"Who?" Bulldog wondered.

"You and Lionheart weren't the first English Joes." Low Light nodded. "We had a member codenamed Big Ben for a while. Came from the SAS."

"Oh, was his real name David J. Bennett?" Bulldog's eyes widened.

"Yes. Staff Sergeant David Bennett." Shipwreck nodded.

"He was the one who recommended me and my sister be sent to GI Joe in the first place!" Bulldog laughed. "What a bloody small world! He was my best friend! I had no idea he was a Joe himself! That man has a lot of stories to tell me and a lot of explaining to do."

"Well, Big Ben always enjoyed gambling with Ace." Cover Girl grinned.

"Oh, this I gotta hear!" Bulldog laughed. The gang heard a horrified scream and a rage-filled roar.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" The diamond-skinned Emma Frost flew through a wall of the train station headfirst like she was thrown by something powerful. And the thrower was a blood-seeking Jake Wildfire in his dragon form. A crowbar was wrapped around his fist.

"YOU CROSSED THE WRONG MUTANT, FROST!!!!!" Jake roared, spitting an inferno in the telepath's face. The Hellions' instructor covered herself, and felt the flames. She suffered no real additional injury, but the layer of diamond over her body was charred. She fell on her knees with a grunt. Jake approached her slowly and cocked back his crowbar-wearing fist. "Now, you'll get yours!" Jake had to hold her by the neck as she slumped out of consciousness. He was about to throw the punch when he fell to the ground with a moan. Althea had nailed him with a knockout dart.

"Bloody Yanks. Always fighting everywhere, with superpowers, without superpowers, they think the whole world's their bloody boxing ring." The English crowd grumbled things along the lines of that as it dispersed. The Joes picked up Red Dragon, who was changing back to human form.

"I'll kill her...I'll kill her...Make her pay..." Jake murmured.

"She'll get hers, Jake. Be sure of that." Low Light said under his breath as he looked at the recovering Emma Frost.

"You should keep that monster on a leash!" She hollered angrily.

"Ah shaddap!" Shipwreck snapped. "Personally, I would've let him finish." He added under his breath.

"I seriously need to talk to Jake after he wakes up." Althea sighed.

"Hey, maybe we should go see my uncle now." Ace said in an attempt to ease the mood.

"Where is he?" Wanda asked.

"Well at this time, knowing him, he's over at his pad. C'mon. I'll take you all." Ace smiled.

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(A 1960s-themed luxury apartment, London)

"Welcome to my uncle's pad." Ace grinned. It was like the set of a 1960s edition of American Bandstand. People, clad in their best 60s wares, were having fun and dancing to the sounds of Strawberry Alarm Clock's "Incense and Peppermints". There were even cages with bikini-clad, painted go-go dancers. "Hey! Uncle Austin! UNCLE AUSTIN!!"

"Groovy party, baby!" An Englishman grinned. He had black glasses, and brown hair. He was clad in a blue and light-blue pinstripe jacket and pants with an orange frilly shirt underneath. Around his neck was a gold medallion of the symbol for male. His teeth were white, but they were artificially whitened. He looked over the party like an emperor over his subjects. They cheered at the sight of the man.

"UNCLE AUSTIN!!!!!" Ace's voice called. The man turned his head.

"My nephew Ace! Groovy!" Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, ran down the steps and ran to his nephew, enveloping him in a big hug. "My God, Ace! I haven't seen you since you were twelve!"

"Yeah. Everyone, this is my uncle. Technically, he's my grand-uncle, considering he was frozen for several decades. Austin Powers, England's best secret agent. The International Man of Mystery. Women want him, and men want to be him. He was one of my idols as a kid." Ace grinned, introducing the agent.

"Hello." He said. His accent was similar to legendary actor Michael Caine. The gang noticed that Austin Powers bore a sight resemblance to comedian Mike Myers. "Nice to meet you all."

"This is Althea Delgado, her father Shipwreck, Cover Girl, Bulldog, Low Light, Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, Lance Alvers, Todd Tolensky, Fred Dukes, St. John Allerdyce, Xi, Jake Wildfire, and Lila Cheney." Ace introduced. "And these are Paul and Craig Starr, my cousins. You have more nephews, Uncle Austin." Austin laughed.

"Bloody incredible." Austin chuckled.

"I'm related to this clown?" Craig asked in disbelief. "Oh my God, I hate my family." Austin held Cover Girl's hand.

"Courtney Krieger, right?" He grinned. She blushed.

"Now he'd know her real name?" Shipwreck scratched his head.

"Uncle Austin got into an accident as a kid, and he gained feminine telepathy." Ace replied.

"Huh?" Pietro wondered.

"He can read women's minds." Fred translated.

"That would explain how he's able to charm women so well." Pietro raised an eyebrow.

"Well, he doesn't actively enter a woman's mind. He can, but he normally doesn't. His brain works more like an antenna." Ace explained. "It's like an antenna receiving radio signals. Well, Uncle Austin's brain is an antenna for women's thoughts."

"Why can he only read the minds of women?" Wanda asked.

"Well, it has been proven that women's and men's minds work differently. Maybe it's those differences. What exactly happened?" Fred asked.

"Got struck by lightning." Ace shrugged.

Well, Austin Powers has a special talent! What madness will happen next? What was up with that van in the last chapter? What is Cobra up to? What is Dr. Evil up to? Will the Misfits and Austin be able to save the day? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!