Battle in Britain!
To Metal Dragon1: Yeah. Poor, poor Craig never catches a break. How are Paul, Craig, and Ace related to Austin Powers? Well, we'll find out!
To Wizard1: Yeah, a bit of a coincidence formed on my part. I like Mel Gibson, although I never saw "What Women Want". I saw all three Austin Powers movies and I thought Austin would exhibit some kind of odd power over women. I don't think Jake really cares where Emma is, what she does, or the circumstances of their meeting. Anytime, anywhere, Jake will attack Emma Frost. I think the kids would be doing a lot of puking at the sight of Austin's teeth before the picture. I do like your idea, though. I think Wanda might enjoy it very much! BTW, WHERE'S CHAPTER THREE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! PIT IT UP NOW PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE
To JCKIDSMART: Hope this Kelly Torture helps brighten your day!
To Red Witch: And it only gets wilder! What will I do next? Find out! Oh yeah, I read the new chapters of IHNP. Love 'em! I see you Evo-tized John Proudstar too! I BEAT YOU! I BEAT YOU TO THE PUNCH!
To Sparky Genocide: Thanks! Now I have the whole gang! Maybe I will have our heroes visit Grace Bros. I can certainly imagine Mr. Humphries being related to Donald. Maybe I will do that! Thanks! Y'know, I remembered the theme for "Are You Being Served". I think it's the very first hip-hop song!
To Aaron: I thought the ability to read women's minds would be appropriate for Austin Powers. Yeah, and something tells me Emma will end up regretting ever trying to screw around with Jake Wildfire. Let's just say you mess with one Wildfire, you mess with their whole family, and Jake Wildfire has quite a family...
Welcome to a new feature of L1701E's stories, Profile Time! Where I give you information on a character in my Misfit-verse. Let's take a look at Virus in our premiere:
Virus Allegiance: Dreadnok Real Name: Vincent James Nationality: British Birthplace: London, England Hair: Brown Eyes: Brown Powers: Virus can possess and take control of any electronic device, much like a ghost possessing a person. He also has an intuitive genius for inventing. He has a genius-level IQ, but his mental health is usually in question.
Personality: It is possible Virus suffers from paranoia and possibly he suffers from severe mental illness. No one knows for sure, because no one's ever been able to get him in the psychiatrist's office. He is an arrogant, yet cowardly Dreadnok. Virus often prefers to fight with his many devices and machines rather than use physical means. He is obsessed with East Coast Misfits leader Althea Delgado, aka Wavedancer. He believes her boyfriend Todd is a demon mentally controlling her, and that she truly loves him. As a result, Virus often tries to destroy Toad more than any other Misfit, even though he hates them all. Extremely proud of his creations, Virus has been known to go into fits of rage whenever GI Joe or the Misfits destroy his inventions.
Strengths: His brains and knack for devices makes him a dangerous foe. He often carries various devices on his person and only he knows what he carries on him. Even when he sleeps, he always has some kind of hidden trick on him.
Weaknesses: Often in battle, Virus will only focus on Toad if he's around, ignoring other opponents. This makes him extremely vulnerable to attack. His reluctance to attack Wavedancer has earned him a few beatings. Also, Virus's questionable mental health has often made him unpredictable. His arrogance often puts him at odds with the other Dreadnoks. His cowardly nature often shows when he runs away after one of his machines is destroyed.
Note: A lot about Virus' past is unknown including how he joined the Dreadnoks, his family life, how he first met Wavedancer, and how he developed his madness-inducing crush on her.
That's Virus's profile! Now on to the story!
Chapter 4: Mission Revealed!
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(Streets of London, England)
"What the heck is everyone's problem in this country?" Senator Kelly grumbled. He had come to England for a vacation. Unfortunately he forgot one of the major rules of traveling in Great Britain: In Great Britain, everyone drove on the left side of the road.
"YOU DUMB YANK!!!"
"HEY STUPID, OTHER BLOODY LANE!!!" Several English drivers screamed and hollered at the hapless American driver.
"YOU MOVE!!! YOU'RE ON THE WRONG LANE!!!! Dumb Brits." Kelly grumbled. "OH MY GOD!!!!" Kelly screamed. He had a head-on with a bus. He ran out and hollered at the bus. "YOU WERE ON THE WRONG MOTHER%$#*&! LANE!!!! WHAT WAS YOUR PROBLEM!!!!" A whole bunch of drunken English soccer hooligans emerged from the bus, all clad in the colors of English soccer team Manchester United.
"Oy!" One hooligan, a bald man with bad teeth, clad in a Manchester United jersey and black shorts, pointed at Kelly's tie. It was blue. "That tie's blue!"
"He's a fan of the Scots!" Another hooligan screamed.
"KILL HIM!!!!" A third yelled. The hooligans jumped the frightened Kelly and started beating him savagely.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWCHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!! OH GOD HELP ME!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY GOD WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
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(Austin's Pad)
"You see, technically, I'm Paul, Craig, and Ace's grand-uncle." Austin explained his relation to the Starr Brothers and Cousin. "You see, I have a brother who is Paul, Craig, and Ace's grandfather. I was frozen for thirty years, so I never really had a chance to start my own branch of the family." Austin had brought the Misfits and Joes to his office. With him was two pretty girls in golden 60s-esque outfits. The agent turned to them.
"Angie, Jane, be a couple dears and get some sodas for everyone?"
"Yes, Mr. Powers." The ladies giggled as they left.
"Well, how do you explain the differences between the last names?" Cover Girl asked.
"Well baby, God you look shagadelic, anyway, My brother Mick Powers must've had a daughter with the maiden name Powers, and married a man named Starr. Anyway, as for Ace, he may have had another daughter who also was with a man named Starr." Austin chuckled.
"My dad's name is Ronnie Starr. He must be your nephew." Ace realized.
"Yes." Austin grinned. "He is. I don't know much about Mick's family. The man was very secretive." Austin sighed. "He never told anybody anything. He liked to not be noticed. He was a bit of an oddball."
"I know the feeling about being the family oddball." Craig grumbled.
"Aw relax, Craig." Paul grinned. "Wanda still loves ya."
"Paul, shut up!" Craig snapped. Austin raised an eyebrow.
"Craig has a bit of a thing for Wanda here." Lance said, pointing at Wanda. Wanda shrugged.
"I can't help it." Wanda shrugged. "I love teasing Craig."
"Whatever happened to the old brooding Wanda I once knew that used to abuse me all the time?" Pietro whined. Wanda punched him. "That's better." He said before he passed out. The Misfits and Joes heard a beeping.
"Oh God, always in the middle of bloody catch-up time." Austin grumbled. He pulled out a remote from the compartment on a couch. He pointed it at a large painting of himself and pressed a button. The painting moved away, revealing a screen. The screen lit up, revealing a man in a suit and short blond hair.
"Hello, Austin." He said in a cultured voice.
"Basil! How lovely." Austin grinned. "By the way, have you met me nephews Paul, Craig, and Ace?" He pointed at the three mutants. Basil smiled.
"Charmed. I see you have the Misfits and the Joes with you. I'm glad you all are here. Look at this." An image of a lime green van appeared on the television. "This is the RAV, the Rolls-Royce Assault Van."
"Looks more like a Dodge Caravan." Pietro quipped. "That color is so tacky."
"For once, I agree." Wanda sighed. "Only one color is good for that vehicle: red."
"Would've looked better in blue with silver-and-black racing stripes." Ace grinned.
"Basic black. Gives a veil of mystery to it." Craig suggested.
"It looks like a regular van, but it's really an advanced battle machine, complete with hidden weapons systems. Its skin is really high-grade titanium, which is able to withstand small-arms fire and even bazooka blasts." Basil explained.
"Poor Bazooka would hate that thing." Bulldog quipped.
"We need you to help us guard this van until we can get it to the Pit." Basil explained. "You'll be working with Staff Sergeant David Bennett on this."
"It'll be nice seeing Big Ben again." Cover Girl smiled.
"And that guy owes me some stories!" Bulldog exclaimed.
Well, the Joes' mission is revealed. Can Austin, the Joes, and the Misfits protect the RAV? What madness will happen next? What is Dr. Evil up to? What is Cobra up to? Find out in the next exciting chapter! Suggestions needed badly!
To Metal Dragon1: Yeah. Poor, poor Craig never catches a break. How are Paul, Craig, and Ace related to Austin Powers? Well, we'll find out!
To Wizard1: Yeah, a bit of a coincidence formed on my part. I like Mel Gibson, although I never saw "What Women Want". I saw all three Austin Powers movies and I thought Austin would exhibit some kind of odd power over women. I don't think Jake really cares where Emma is, what she does, or the circumstances of their meeting. Anytime, anywhere, Jake will attack Emma Frost. I think the kids would be doing a lot of puking at the sight of Austin's teeth before the picture. I do like your idea, though. I think Wanda might enjoy it very much! BTW, WHERE'S CHAPTER THREE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! PIT IT UP NOW PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE
To JCKIDSMART: Hope this Kelly Torture helps brighten your day!
To Red Witch: And it only gets wilder! What will I do next? Find out! Oh yeah, I read the new chapters of IHNP. Love 'em! I see you Evo-tized John Proudstar too! I BEAT YOU! I BEAT YOU TO THE PUNCH!
To Sparky Genocide: Thanks! Now I have the whole gang! Maybe I will have our heroes visit Grace Bros. I can certainly imagine Mr. Humphries being related to Donald. Maybe I will do that! Thanks! Y'know, I remembered the theme for "Are You Being Served". I think it's the very first hip-hop song!
To Aaron: I thought the ability to read women's minds would be appropriate for Austin Powers. Yeah, and something tells me Emma will end up regretting ever trying to screw around with Jake Wildfire. Let's just say you mess with one Wildfire, you mess with their whole family, and Jake Wildfire has quite a family...
Welcome to a new feature of L1701E's stories, Profile Time! Where I give you information on a character in my Misfit-verse. Let's take a look at Virus in our premiere:
Virus Allegiance: Dreadnok Real Name: Vincent James Nationality: British Birthplace: London, England Hair: Brown Eyes: Brown Powers: Virus can possess and take control of any electronic device, much like a ghost possessing a person. He also has an intuitive genius for inventing. He has a genius-level IQ, but his mental health is usually in question.
Personality: It is possible Virus suffers from paranoia and possibly he suffers from severe mental illness. No one knows for sure, because no one's ever been able to get him in the psychiatrist's office. He is an arrogant, yet cowardly Dreadnok. Virus often prefers to fight with his many devices and machines rather than use physical means. He is obsessed with East Coast Misfits leader Althea Delgado, aka Wavedancer. He believes her boyfriend Todd is a demon mentally controlling her, and that she truly loves him. As a result, Virus often tries to destroy Toad more than any other Misfit, even though he hates them all. Extremely proud of his creations, Virus has been known to go into fits of rage whenever GI Joe or the Misfits destroy his inventions.
Strengths: His brains and knack for devices makes him a dangerous foe. He often carries various devices on his person and only he knows what he carries on him. Even when he sleeps, he always has some kind of hidden trick on him.
Weaknesses: Often in battle, Virus will only focus on Toad if he's around, ignoring other opponents. This makes him extremely vulnerable to attack. His reluctance to attack Wavedancer has earned him a few beatings. Also, Virus's questionable mental health has often made him unpredictable. His arrogance often puts him at odds with the other Dreadnoks. His cowardly nature often shows when he runs away after one of his machines is destroyed.
Note: A lot about Virus' past is unknown including how he joined the Dreadnoks, his family life, how he first met Wavedancer, and how he developed his madness-inducing crush on her.
That's Virus's profile! Now on to the story!
Chapter 4: Mission Revealed!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Streets of London, England)
"What the heck is everyone's problem in this country?" Senator Kelly grumbled. He had come to England for a vacation. Unfortunately he forgot one of the major rules of traveling in Great Britain: In Great Britain, everyone drove on the left side of the road.
"YOU DUMB YANK!!!"
"HEY STUPID, OTHER BLOODY LANE!!!" Several English drivers screamed and hollered at the hapless American driver.
"YOU MOVE!!! YOU'RE ON THE WRONG LANE!!!! Dumb Brits." Kelly grumbled. "OH MY GOD!!!!" Kelly screamed. He had a head-on with a bus. He ran out and hollered at the bus. "YOU WERE ON THE WRONG MOTHER%$#*&! LANE!!!! WHAT WAS YOUR PROBLEM!!!!" A whole bunch of drunken English soccer hooligans emerged from the bus, all clad in the colors of English soccer team Manchester United.
"Oy!" One hooligan, a bald man with bad teeth, clad in a Manchester United jersey and black shorts, pointed at Kelly's tie. It was blue. "That tie's blue!"
"He's a fan of the Scots!" Another hooligan screamed.
"KILL HIM!!!!" A third yelled. The hooligans jumped the frightened Kelly and started beating him savagely.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWCHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!! OH GOD HELP ME!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY GOD WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Austin's Pad)
"You see, technically, I'm Paul, Craig, and Ace's grand-uncle." Austin explained his relation to the Starr Brothers and Cousin. "You see, I have a brother who is Paul, Craig, and Ace's grandfather. I was frozen for thirty years, so I never really had a chance to start my own branch of the family." Austin had brought the Misfits and Joes to his office. With him was two pretty girls in golden 60s-esque outfits. The agent turned to them.
"Angie, Jane, be a couple dears and get some sodas for everyone?"
"Yes, Mr. Powers." The ladies giggled as they left.
"Well, how do you explain the differences between the last names?" Cover Girl asked.
"Well baby, God you look shagadelic, anyway, My brother Mick Powers must've had a daughter with the maiden name Powers, and married a man named Starr. Anyway, as for Ace, he may have had another daughter who also was with a man named Starr." Austin chuckled.
"My dad's name is Ronnie Starr. He must be your nephew." Ace realized.
"Yes." Austin grinned. "He is. I don't know much about Mick's family. The man was very secretive." Austin sighed. "He never told anybody anything. He liked to not be noticed. He was a bit of an oddball."
"I know the feeling about being the family oddball." Craig grumbled.
"Aw relax, Craig." Paul grinned. "Wanda still loves ya."
"Paul, shut up!" Craig snapped. Austin raised an eyebrow.
"Craig has a bit of a thing for Wanda here." Lance said, pointing at Wanda. Wanda shrugged.
"I can't help it." Wanda shrugged. "I love teasing Craig."
"Whatever happened to the old brooding Wanda I once knew that used to abuse me all the time?" Pietro whined. Wanda punched him. "That's better." He said before he passed out. The Misfits and Joes heard a beeping.
"Oh God, always in the middle of bloody catch-up time." Austin grumbled. He pulled out a remote from the compartment on a couch. He pointed it at a large painting of himself and pressed a button. The painting moved away, revealing a screen. The screen lit up, revealing a man in a suit and short blond hair.
"Hello, Austin." He said in a cultured voice.
"Basil! How lovely." Austin grinned. "By the way, have you met me nephews Paul, Craig, and Ace?" He pointed at the three mutants. Basil smiled.
"Charmed. I see you have the Misfits and the Joes with you. I'm glad you all are here. Look at this." An image of a lime green van appeared on the television. "This is the RAV, the Rolls-Royce Assault Van."
"Looks more like a Dodge Caravan." Pietro quipped. "That color is so tacky."
"For once, I agree." Wanda sighed. "Only one color is good for that vehicle: red."
"Would've looked better in blue with silver-and-black racing stripes." Ace grinned.
"Basic black. Gives a veil of mystery to it." Craig suggested.
"It looks like a regular van, but it's really an advanced battle machine, complete with hidden weapons systems. Its skin is really high-grade titanium, which is able to withstand small-arms fire and even bazooka blasts." Basil explained.
"Poor Bazooka would hate that thing." Bulldog quipped.
"We need you to help us guard this van until we can get it to the Pit." Basil explained. "You'll be working with Staff Sergeant David Bennett on this."
"It'll be nice seeing Big Ben again." Cover Girl smiled.
"And that guy owes me some stories!" Bulldog exclaimed.
Well, the Joes' mission is revealed. Can Austin, the Joes, and the Misfits protect the RAV? What madness will happen next? What is Dr. Evil up to? What is Cobra up to? Find out in the next exciting chapter! Suggestions needed badly!