Disclaimer: I own nothing…sadly. Also I have been very indecisive with the ending of this chapter and got the guts to pick a ending and so here it is. Hope you enjoy!
SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1The stars like to twinkle, and tweak with us,
They use us, and they abuse us.
And we're fateful toys,
that rust because of this mistrust.
- frost
Quistis rolled over to the side, the bed growing uncomfortable for the time being, standing and stretching like a cat. She walked over to sit by the chair she had propped up next to the bed in a fashion that allowed her feet to rest up on the bed. The TV had no cable but you could buy movies and she found a good action movie to watch for the rest of the morning. The nights rest's gone to shit anyway, she thought as she purchased it through the TV..
"Crap.....chick crap....ugh! Guy crap...Hm?" she voiced.
For the first time in a while she had stopped retching in the mornings, of course she retched twice as much during the day but that didn't matter; she barely went out anyway. Esthar was big, there were crowds, large, long stores, and it had districts......plus those pods have been making me sick lately, she thought.
The sun wasn't up yet, the clock on the TV listings read four fifteen, and ignoring it Quistis sighed as she saw a message that told her to click a combination so she could watch the movie. The TV lit up the room in a pale glow of radiating colors, the sounds were low. She found herself wanting sleep during some point in the movie when one of the main characters accidentally shoots his partner. Quistis rolled her eyes as she turned over to the bed, the movie sounded low in the background.
The bed askew, with sheets tossed about, her limbs stretched out entangled in the whiteness. The darkness of the night still engulfed the corners and areas that the TV didn't grip.
Quistis swiped her mind of all thoughts; they kept her up with questions that didn't have answers. Quistis worried a lot now, she was pregnant, and she didn't know who she was outside seed, now she was by herself.
Her situation wasn't at a high point, so her thoughts disturbed her more than she'd like to admit, especially when it concerned the baby the fact that she's going to have to support it with no one but herself scared her. Yes, she could handle ruby dragons and Ultimacia and monsters in the middle of an island with just a whip and snip of blue magic but this was a human being, what the hell am I supposed to do with a human being?! She thought.
Obviously her thoughts came back to her; she shoved them away and tried to get some sleep. The night was fading now, a grayish darkness descending instead of just black, eventually she let her eyelids shut close from the weight they carried. Seifer broke out into curses after he visited the fifth hotel that night. The city, it seemed didn't sleep much.
The hotels were open, and he had visited a lot since he got there, he got the same answers every time, big ass shoving no's. Damn it, what the hell is going on? A beautiful blonde doesn't disappear how could she with this many assholes wandering around......would I have been mistaken in direction? No! No! Fucking way! Okay that's it; next name on the list is my hotel I don't give a shit anymore I need sleep..., he thought as he switched districts one final time that morning.
The day still wasn't up, the streets lit up with yellowish and grayish hues mixed with the sky and street lamps. A strange man popped up into a screen inside the hotel he walked into, the screen dispersed and he found the man on a desk a little father from the entrance.
After he got his room, the receptionist or whoever the hell that little elf looking opera star was got a bellhop to show him his suite. Damn! This is better than that chair in the boat, ten times better, he thought as he entered his room. The bellhop waited expectantly with a hand out, Seifer sneered as he went to give him his tip.
"Thanks...." he told the kid, shaking his hand, the poor boy left clutching his hand to his gut, Seifer chuckled a little before turning to his bed.
He threw off his coat and hung it up on a chair. The boots he was wearing thudding against the carpet, his pants unbuttoned and the belt hung loosely, undone, finally undressed into his boxers he free fell onto the bed. Growling at the discomfort, he kicked and shoved the first comforter and left the white sheets on him. Asleep once his head hit the pillows, the sun had crawled up onto the curtains to glow a dark, sweet yellow around inside his room.
Squall sat with Rinoa and the gang that afternoon in the cafeteria, everyone was busy chatting, then Selphie spoke really loudly. She came running and was hopping anxiously as she spoke.
"Hey! Hey! Where's Quistis? I went to her dorm? Cause I haven't seen her in a couple of days, and well, has anybody seen her?" she said as she relaxed, squall was about to open his mouth when Zell spoke up.
"You know how Quistis gets some times; she's probably been really busy."
"Yeah but I haven't seen her at all....it's like she disappeared." Rinoa added, the week had been hectic but she had just realized how disappeared Quistis seemed to be these past few days. Rinoa looked towards squall, as if anticipating something.
"Squall have you seen Quistis around lately?" she asked finally, after everyone answered that they hadn't seen her. And when he opened his mouth, everybody grew silent.....he was going to speak.
"She went on vacation." he said shortly, Rinoa and Selphie's heads dropped a little, that wasn't such good news.
"Where? Why? Did she say anything? How do you know?" asked Selphie hyperactively, as she moved around in Irvine's lap. And once again everyone quieted as he opened his mouth....more words were going to come out.
"She said that something was missing."
"From what?" asked Zell, his girlfriend was cuddled against him, soundly oblivious to the world.
"Her life" he said monotonously.
"How come you know and not us?" Rinoa asked, Selphie nodded along to the question.
"I saw her last."
"When was that?" Rinoa asked again, Selphie was looking down....sad that Quistis didn't say goodbye to her, Irvine patted her shoulder and she cuddled until she felt better.
"A few nights ago, when I went to get dinner here." he said, seemingly tired of talking.
"An' why didn'cha tell us?" Irvine asked, his cowboy accent lacing with his words.
"You didn't ask me." he said with a shrug of his shoulders, Rinoa rolled her eyes along with everyone else. Zell wanted to yell at him for that answer but his girlfriend had fallen asleep on him, she'd give him hell if he yelled in her ears.
Quistis woke up later that morning a few times, and after her bathroom walks she went back to sleep. The sounds of the streets drowned out, so everything was quiet. Smiling at the peace she let herself dream. Seifer was in the midst of a terrible dream himself, the knight turned over and tossed around for hours before the dream turned into nothing.
The sun shined and it glazed over the city, Quistis woke up around that time, one o clock and she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. The warmness of the bed still in her flesh as she walked to the bathroom, Seifer washed his face and teeth, and she inspected her smile when she finished, pulling on his pants and shirt, she walked back into the room for her shoes. His boots slid in nicely and he buttoned the buckles on them, outside her door she had to be quick when she felt the need to use the bathroom and ran back in. Seifer walked down the hall and up to the elevators, pressing the button several times, she sighed as she walked out after shutting the door, the walk to the elevators was short.
"Wait! Wait! Hold the door!" she yelled as the elevator closed, she sighed seeing the numbers light up as it went down. Pressing the button she waited for the next one. Seifer was by the receptionist desk, asking for Quistis, he knew it would be a slim chance of her staying the same place he was at but he had to try.
"Ah, yes! Lovely lady she is indeed!" the elf-man told him happily, Seifer looked irritated as he waited for him to stop.
"So she's staying here?"
"Yes! Boy yes! Why don't you leave me alone and talk to her yourself! She's right there!" he said as he tilted his head towards the elevators. Seifer's blood drained and he felt as if his whole body would jump out of his skin, turning his head slightly he saw her walk out into the street.
"Thanks...." he muttered before he followed her out the door. Then he stopped, just outside the hotel, I found her.....I actually found her...I...what do I say? What if she hates me? Damn it, I'm such a chicken wuss! Quistis what do you think? He asked her lastly inwardly. Quistis was walking to her next appointment with her maternity doctor. She was lost, and she felt terrible, she'd been drifting in and out of sleep the past few nights and hadn't actually gotten much rest. Then there was the fact that she was only nineteen years old and pregnant.....well saving for Abby...but they wanted it, she thought; then she stopped in her tracks.
"Do I want it?" she asked herself out loud, the words came out soft, quiet and meant for her ears only the question was sounded out, slow. She was afraid to answer.....to the side, in the sidewalk she stood, sullen and grim, afraid she'll say no. no! I won't....its mine! The thought was rapid and it came, just like the thought of not having it, came; subconsciously she started walking again, her thoughts trailing with her feet.
Seifer frowned, what if she isn't sick? Would she think me still a mistake? I still need to talk to her even if she doesn't want to......do I really need to talk to her? Can I just let this go.....I wish I would. Seifer thought as he followed her into the building, he was far enough so she didn't notice him but close enough to keep her in sight.
He waited outside until she entered the elevator and till he saw which floor it stopped on, he read the number and then went to see what type of business she had here. Seventh floor..... Maternity? What the hell...she got pregnant! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what the hell? I'm just this thing she screwed on the side? When did she get pregnant? He had to find out, fuming he went out the building and found another building across the street that he could pretend to window shop at. Looking through the reflection of the window to behind him, he watched for her to come down.
Quistis felt....she didn't even want to use any words to describe what she just felt.....the kid, is not coming out that way! Its...it's...its just not possible! She screamed inside her head to the doctor. Walking out to the waiting room she felt alien, here she was young, alone, and pregnant......well, I feel like I'm fifty....I've seen so much, a war vet, a retired teacher, I taught so many, I wonder how everyone is doing? She thought as she left the building.
Seifer followed her as soon as she left the building, slowly and stealthy he walked, noticing her turn into a horizonese buffet. Smirking he turned to follow when he remembered one thing, he was staying at the same hotel as her. Wait! Okay it made sense when I followed her into the building, but now it's just getting ridiculous, he told himself. I need to think, I can't see her yet, he thought as he walked in the opposite direction.
Seifer went back to the docks outside the city, and checked in on the crew, everything was running smooth and he told them to go get a room in the inn by the docks, he grabbed some spare clothes and left. Seifer slammed the door and let the stress run through his veins; he needed to take his anger out on something. Walking, or striding around his room he saw the pool and grabbed the only shorts he brought along that were actually pants that unzipped into shorts; grabbing a towel he went barefooted by the stairs since it had an exit door that led to the pool.
An hour or two later Quistis was walking back to her room when she slowed down because of a blonde beach boy that was playing with his hair and was unable to walk at the same time. She tried to get around him but he stopped and slouched, shaking his head with the towel.
"Excuse me, could you move? Please?" she added, she was tired, and had the worst headache she'd had this week. The man turned around with the towel over his head and sighed sadly as he dropped his hands, the towel remained.
"I'm sorry...I cannot" he told her, she snapped up, shocked or surprised by the answer. She frowned as he moved forward and started to remove the towel from his head. Seifer smirked as he saw her face, she was beautiful, he had to admit, and everything so far was worth it but what of her words? Would it still be worth his while to have gone after her?
"Seifer?" she whispered, her voice suddenly gone, what? He was dead! She thought panicked as she backed away; Seifer frowned and held up his hands. She didn't know what to say, for a few seconds she debated her words carefully.
"What are you doing here? I thought you were dead?" he looked at her confused, dead? He thought. Her demeanor was strict and worthy of a seed, as she examined him, her head suddenly hurt more than ever.
"What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice not portraying sarcasm.
"It's not respectful to answer questions with questions."
"Don't ask stupid questions!" she was about to say something but stopped as someone passed by them, grabbing his arm she pulled him inside her room, locking the door she turned back to him.
"It was a reasonable question! Everyone thinks your dead!" Seifer frowned, looking at her.
"What are you talking about?"
"What are you talking about, Seifer?"
"You knew I was alive! You have to remember, there is no fucking way that you can't." he asked, drawing closer, Quistis thought he was crazy, she clenched her teeth, her headache was banging instead her head now.
"Remember?.......refresh my memory. What should I remember?" she asked as she tried to figure out what he was talking about. She should be handcuffing him, dragging him down to the police, or army, but she had to find out what it was she was supposed to know. The way he spoke….so confident he was talking truth, she thought. Seifer stared, mouth hanging open, shocked, the letter, did she really mean forget like this kind of forget? No! she can't pretend this never happened! Not this way, its just not….Quistis.
"You don't remember any of it. Not even before the wine?" he asked unbelieving, trying to see if he could get her to crack. She scowled.
"What?" she asked confused.
"What about the fire? And the storm?" he asked as he walked closer, she stood her ground.
"Almasy, I don't know what your referring to." She had almost called him Seifer again, she used to never call him Seifer.
"The conversation? …the fight and power going out?" what the hell is he talking about? She thought. I would have remembered having seen Seifer alive before this, she thought.
"Seifer that isn't possible. This is the first time I see you since the war."
"Liar!" he growled, he stood in front of her now, inches from her face.
"What? No!" she yelled.
"Oh! Yeah?" he asked, he placed his hands on her face and placed his lips to her ears. Quistis froze, of shock, get him away, she told herself. After he tells you what he's going to say, wait till he talks, she told herself.
"And what of this?" he whispered, his voice changed, husked as one of his hands tickled her jaw line carefully, his lips breathing hot air onto her skin; the lines of his fingers brushing her skin. Quistis closed her eyes, breathing in, and then his scent filled her nose, the smell was familiar, she absent mindedly sighed as it became the only thing she smelt. She wanted to push him away, but her hands felt heavy.
"And what of your cries for me?" he asked quietly, kissing her cheek, her jaw line, and under it, slowly. She raised her hands ready to place them on his chest and push away. He wasn't talking about anything she'd done, she had to stop this nonsense, she thought, but he kept distracting her.
"And what of our kisses?" he asked as he looked at her lips, then her eyes. She froze, her mouth agape; her thoughts coming back to her as she looked at his eyes. This was Seifer? She thought. She always was stuck on Seifer, but…he was a murderer…and apparently crazy, she thought. Her thoughts washed away as he leaned in, I have to stop this, she thought, then she tasted him. And her eyes grew wise with recognition. She pulled away shocked, looking startled and confused and lost; she suddenly had that headache again.
"You're the bartender!?" she pointed an accusing finger at him, questioning and stating the truth in one go. Seifer frowned, shaking his head; he let the taste of her die away. Her thoughts died away after she heard him agree, his words harsher than a simple yes; by then her vision had clouded and she fell.
Ah thanks to Quistis 889 my reviewer, thanks for your support. You have no idea how grateful I am for it. Can I ask you a question? Do I write too descriptively? Because I'm beginning to think so…..ya know Hemmingway was descriptive as hell……that's not the point. Anyway stay tuned for the next chapter readers! I have no clue when it's coming out...