SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I don't own them.
The sadness of guilt fills my veins.
They run deep, and distract me,
From memories and pain,
Yet all this guilt will seep through one day.
And destroy my life, in vain.
- frost
18. Labs and guilt, and lovely escapes.
Seifer stared worriedly by a computer, his threat to Odine was clear the first time he talked to him, before he had any blood test done to Quistis. Now his leg bounced rapidly off the floor as he watched Quistis being strapped to a machine, with only a paper robe to cover her. At first she had complained and he had complained for her, and then the professor had made it clear that the clothes had to go for this to be done correctly.
Seifer watched as her shaky hands gripped the stainless steel of the table and she gingerly climbed to lie down on her back. She winced at the extreme coldness of the steel, and the terrible cold she felt right then. Odine stood by, to the left, in the same little mirrored room he was looking at her through.
His hands typed away at something and he muttered a word or two every now and then. Through a mic, he spoke to her and explained the situation; she could see them through the glass and turned her head towards Seifer. He gave her a reassuring smile and sent her a silent vow of love; she smiled in return and prayed to hyne for strength.
"Mz. Trepe, face de ceiling if you will, and I vill send Razer vays to inspect de baby. It iz safe, don't panic, and please don't move. I vill be signaling de starting of de outline of de baby in ten seconds. You must be silent and still." he told her, no less than he said that when a mechanical voice came on and counted the seconds.
Her heart beat wildly in her throat, she would see if it was okay, if it was normal now. The doctor had no reason to think anything was wrong because I was alright, but now I'll know, she thought briefly. Seifer was watching her with a tense back as the professor did his scan.
"Hmm...diz iz very interesting." he whispered as he watched the screen, Seifer stood over his shoulder and peered at the screen. It showed particles and molecules, they looked distorted and as he saw Odine type something, they started to move around in the screen, the colors pulsed and moved. Eventually they formed a mass of Dna strands. Odine typed and then with his finger on the screen marked something and then the mic in the examining room turned on.
"Please step down." Quistis sighed relieved and more anxious than before; she went into a room and changed back into her regular clothes. The feeling of privacy and comfort eased into her being and calmed her little as she joined Seifer in the room Seifer had watched her from. Odine was standing over a computer, his eyes squinted in concentration and his fingers twitched as he thought, then he typed. This routine was upheld for a while before he turned to them and grabbed his beard in contemplation.
"Your baby, iz of diz" he told them, and he pointed to a strange backbone formation, the top of the screen read, fourth to fifth month development. Quistis sighed whatever this is, it's going to start happening in almost a month! She thought as she watched the screen change.
"What is that?" Seifer asked after he stared for a few minutes. Quistis inwardly asked him the same question.
"Your baby, iz not normal, it'z body structure iz not normal." he told them, indicating the screen. Seifer looked at the doctor for a few seconds and then at Quistis, she stared back at that screen with meditative thoughts.
"Can I still have it?" she asked.
"Vell, yes....of course, I'll cut you open, and take it out." he explained, lamely. Quistis' stomach churned at the thought and she shuddered before excusing herself. Seifer sighed annoyed as he stared at the professors' back.
"What's that over there?" he asked suddenly as he pointed to the screen, his fingers grazed softly over the form, below the head and by the back.
"Ah..dis I do not know for shure, but it zeems dat dis area here; vill expand into another limb on each side." he voiced, his small frame hunched over the screen with his accented laced words.
Seifer stared at the screen, in wonder and in thought; he couldn't understand why he couldn't do anything right, not even natural things. His thoughts turned on him as he stared at the screen, his eyes staring through it, unaware of blue sapphires that studied him. I've messed up everything, he thought as he frowned. Quistis saw his fist tense, his frown; walking up to him she placed an arm around his shoulder blades, then the other. He let out a breathe and glanced at her briefly before turning back to the screen, her arms wrapped around him, bringing back a sense of reality and an even more sense of illusion.
"Why is it like that?" Quistis asked as she turned to the doctor, arms coming undone from his form, inwardly he groaned as protest as he laced his fingers with hers and wrapped both his and her arms around her waist.
"I...I do not know, it'z di first time something like dis happens, I've never experiencet such strange results. dey have no explanation, I vant to test you two." he told them as he stared back at them.
Seifer tensed and held her tighter and she nodded her head reluctantly, he made some notes on something and then muttered something and looked at the screen. Seifer and Quistis sat down in the only chair in his office, waiting for him to stop pacing around, Quistis had fallen asleep on his lap, and Seifer was playing with her hair at the moment.
Seifer sighed loudly and waited for the doctor to notice them, he turned to Quistis and noticed her nudge him softly as she tried to burrow deeper into his torso, smiling he let go of her hair and wrapped his arms around her, briefly checking to see the Odine type something at the screen and then make another note on paper and calculator.
"Ah! ..Up! Up, vat do you think dis iz?! Come come it'z time for some tests!" he shrieked as he saw them fast asleep on his chair. Seifer groaned and Quistis grabbed her ears in protest, she mumbled cusses as she got up from her place on his lap, Seifer's eyes widened at his legs, both asleep, he chuckled miserably as he felt the tingling sensation invade his senses. Odine muttered about incompetence as he led them to a room. The whiteness of it all was blinding to Seifer, and the ice blue floors echoed at the sounds of Quistis' whispers.
"What time is it?" she asked Seifer as they followed a stung Odine, he held up his wrist to show that he didn't have a watch; she smiled at him and gripped his hand.
"I vill need you two to get changed into dis, I'll be vaiting outside to lead you to X-rays." he told them handing each a paper rob. Seifer looked at his with disgust, and Quistis groaned.
"Damnit! What the hell is this for?"
"Seifer please. . ." she trailed off, he toke in a deep breath and silently released it, as he resigned to wear the robe; his jacket and shirt off.
"Hey..." he spoke, as he neared her. She looked at him with mild interest.
"What?" her shoes and socks gone, and a shiver ran past her as the coldness invaded her soles.
"I'm sorry." he told her, he looked pensive as he said it and her eyes softened at him.
"For what?" she asked as she disposed of her vest, Seifer stared at her briefly before looking into her eyes.
"For doing this to you." he whispered as he held her face, she frowned and backed away.
"I'm not." she told him as she hugged him, her arms warm against his skin and he felt her strength, beneath him grow.
"But I've caused you so much trouble and pain. And now...."he trailed off unable to find words, Quistis sighed into his ear, her breath soft and warm as it surrounded his sense of sound.
"It's not normal...Quistis...I don't know....you could tell Odine to....I'll understand, he'll understand, no one will judge. Quis...it's got an extra two limbs, what the hell would people say? What would they think? Of you, an abnormality yourself, and it's because of me...." the last part held such sorrow; she wanted to end this train of thought from him. She understood what he was talking about, what he couldn't voice, by the way he spoke, his throat portrayed a sense of guilt and worry for her, it made her smile despite all else.
"Seifer...I can't do that, this baby, its important. We are here because of it, together. I'm with you, in a sense, because it brought us together, not because of its existence but because it made me leave, and it made you see me. Chase me. We are here, because of it." Her voice whispered and surrounded his ears, the importance of his understanding was urgent; her voice hit a realization in him, that she was stronger than he had ever imagined.
He felt her let off a tear; it fell and ran down his chest. Seifer felt it run down him, the drop cascaded until it dried on him. He felt shame for his thoughts; now that he thought on her words, he lowered himself to his knees and hugged her stomach; he hugged her in reassurance, a hug of acceptance. The tears on her cheeks fell harder, landing on his head, her head tipped forward as she wrapped her arms around his hunched form.
"Lets' go. Odine is bound to notice." she spoke, her hands pulled him up, and as he stood he locked eyes with her. An apologetic look passed through his green layers and she kissed away his shame with a look and red lips. They finished changing in silence both lost in thoughts as they exited the room, Odine was found pacing around the doorway with a calculator look-alike as he typed several things down; Quistis cleared her throat and sighed as Seifer grunted behind her.
"Professor Odine?"
"Vhat? Can't you I'm busy." he snapped not looking up, when no one answered he looked up.
"Oh! That's right! Come, come dis way!" he led them to a room, and explained what they had to do. After he showed each how, he went out of the room and used the speaker to take to them. Seifer grunted and cursed openly at the coldness, and Quistis giggled at the scene. Later when they were finished, Odine took blood test of Seifer and sent them out the lab.
"I vill call you when I finish analyzing. My assistant vill show you out." he yelled as he retreated lower into his lab areas, Quistis and Seifer drove back in silence.
"So...you hungry?" he asked as he looked at her.
"No, I can't eat." she told him.
"But aren't you supposed to get hungry?" he asked
"Yes, but not until the fourth or fifth month do I start to crave food."
"Oh." they drove on for a while like that until....
"Stop! Stop! Stop the car!" she yelled, Seifer slowed down and then when it was a safe speed he braked. The car jerked and then the doors were opened, sounds of retching could be heard as Seifer got out and moved to her side and walked up to her, she had ran out and threw up a few feet away from the car.
Seifer stood behind her, not sure how to react, he waited until she straightened up and then went to her. He stood behind her, hugging her she sighed and wrapped her arms around his. Turning around she broke down, her tears mixed with a ragged breathes and Seifer held her protectively as the sunset glowed them orange. They slowly descended into a sitting position, she was curled inside his arms and legs, her head rested back onto the crook of his neck and his head was buried deep into hers. They sat for a time in silence, as the sunset took over the colors of day.
"Did ya know sunsets are the only time of the day that gets you melancholy?" he asked as he closed his eyes inside her tresses.
"Hm?" she said not really paying attention. They stayed there, out in the open until nightfall; Seifer thanked hyne for keeping the monsters away and carried her sleeping form back into the car.
Seifer drove the car into the garage and went to open the passenger door; Quistis heard the movements and woke up, trying to understand the sounds. When she saw Seifer opening the door she frowned first and then closed her eyes.
"What time is it?" she asked with a stretch.
"Eight." he whispered rasped, amused as he helped her up, she slapped his hand away and grinned when he pulled her to him.
"It's only polite to help a lady in distress."
"I'm not in distress."
"I know, that's because I helped you." he grinned, rolling her eyes she pulled away and walked towards the exit of that rental shop, Seifer trailed behind. As they walked by some of the stores and side streets, Seifer noticed Quistis acting different. Her head turned to look around and she would walk slowly and Seifer had to slow down to keep in step with her.
"Hey, Quis..." he trailed off as she pulled him into an alley and then into a kiss. Seifer responded beautifully, his tongue licked her lips, begging for entrance, but she didn't budge, her eyes looked out into the crowds, watching as a few passed; waiting for a certain cowboy and sullen commander to pass.
She lost focus as she became conscious of what Seifer was doing to her, her eyes focused on his lazily closed ones and mimicked the action. His tongue danced inside her mouth, slowly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer still. She was briefly aware of his hands snaking around and behind her back; they rubbed her back muscles and slid lower.
Whimpering heavily she nudged closer and moved a hand lower to his chest and let her nails run along the muscles of his stomach. Seifer's other hand slid under her vest and trailed up, but Quistis reached up and grabbed his hand and pulled it out. She shook the feeling out and looked at him for a second. He tried again as he kissed her lips and cheek and eyelids as she closed them, but she remembered suddenly why she was doing this and pulled away.
"Seif...." she didn't finish as she felt his manhood press against her, she moaned subconsciously and slid both hands under his shirt and tickled his back playfully as she kissed back. She lazily debated stopping as she felt his hands run through her hair. She couldn't even remember if it was loose anymore, her brain clouded by his breath and elated scent.
"No, Seifer we can't. Not here, please...if someone notices....us..." she tried speaking as he ran his tongue along her neck and collarbone, the task was seemingly impossible at the time. He tipped her head back lightly and trailed kisses down her neck, her eyes dilated and she grinded against his hips. Seifer grunted and pulled her closer, at last moment she pulled away from his skin.
"Uh...Seif." she wanted to go somewhere private, her senses dared her not to and she found herself in a losing battle with....herself. Regretting she tore away, his taste still lingering, and fire trails of where he had touched her stayed warm. He looked confused and drunk; he was drunk, in her taste and her smell. He could drink it till it killed him, he reasoned inside his mind.
"What?" he asked so low that Quistis thought his ears were sensitive to sound, as he advanced once more, she held him back with her hands.
"No, we are in public. If someone notices us, they will report us for....." and she trailed off, unable to say the term, Seifer smirked for the first time in a long time. Quistis noticed it, the ghostly shadowed grin of his youth behind his eyes.
She brought a hand up to his face, and smiled as she kissed him. She loved this Seifer, it's true, but it doesn't mean that the man that stood before her wasn't broken, broken and only twenty, such a sad thing to have happen to such a strong spirit, she thought as she looked through the crowds. Not a blur or sign of seed anywhere, she thought as she pulled him out of the alley.
"Come on, we have to go to the hotel." she told him, her hand squeezed his as she sped walked to the hotel, fear of being found with Seifer, of them finding out the situation, of a thousand of things raced through her head as they treaded through the streets, her mind on not being spotted.
Long chapter! Really long. Wow, anyway hope you've enjoyed them so far and thanks for reading. Leave a review and tell me what you thought of the chapter. To all reviewers, thanks and it's appreciated. and to Quistis 88, thanks for the honest answer, I was curious because I wasn't happy with it, anyway. Thanks for reviewing and any future reviewers are thanked.