Chapter 7
Finding faith
As the years passed on, so did the simple childhood of Kurt Wagner. By the time Kurt turned fourteen in November of 1998, he had become a wonder amoungst the circus. Trent had taught him everything he knew about being a good swordsman, not to mention all the fine skills of being a trapeze artist; and Kurt excelled in both.
In fact, Kurt took most people's breath away when they sat on his or her break and watched him perform a simple routine he made up. For a young teen, he had accomplished the same amount that others in the circus had taken ten years to learn. Everyone was more than impressed to say the least. As of now, Kurt's audience consisted of the circus members, but Amanda mentioned that her mother was thinking of making him part of the act; the only draw back from that was the reaction people would have towards a mutant.
However, the trapeze wasn't the only change in young Wagner's life. The incident that happened four years ago in the church changed Kurt. Since then, Kurt has taken an active action in praying and worshiping under the Catholic religion. Although he never saw the mutant priest since that night, Kurt never forgot what he was told about letting faith guide him in the path of life.
Although Kurt was following a different life than most teenagers in the world by living in a circus and praying to God several hours a day, Kurt's mind was developing like anyone else's. And like every adolescence, his biggest question was, "What's the point of life?"
Unlike most though, Kurt found his life more complicated when figuring just why he was put on this earth. Every night Kurt would ask God for some answer as to why he was created to look like a demon, why people were afraid of him, and most of all why he wasn't accepted. The circus was easy to get along with because everyone there wasn't considered normal either; but when it came to the outside world, people screamed and pointed when they caught a glimpse of Kurt, either that or they laughed at the "silly costume."
During the past few years, the circus came in contact with a man that could pick up a single car with one hand, which of course was not human at all. Margali talked to this man several times and learned that he couldn't keep a job because most jobs were too light, so to speak, and he'd break anything he touched, mostly because he didn't know his own strength. After a few weeks, Margali hired the man and so came the second mutant on the team.
Kurt was fascinated with the new recruit, but although the man was a mutant, no one would know it unless he did such things as picking up cars. This man, who went by the name of Alexi Strong (a surname he gave himself when his parents died), was what most people could consider a teen heartthrob. Tall, lean, yet muscular, Alexi's wavy brown hair and bright blue eyes gave him the perfect look of a pretty boy.
Alexi and Kurt got along very well, probably because they felt comfortable knowing that the other was a mutant, but Kurt couldn't help but envy his new friend for the body God granted him.
"Why, Father," Kurt asked himself several times during the first week he met Alexi, "Why must I look like a mutant and have everyone fear me? Why can't I fit in?"
Kurt's heart sank every time he'd see people fawning over Alexi, especially Amanda. He didn't know when it happened, but he realized it had been growing deep inside him for a long time now. Every time he saw the almost sixteen-year-old girl he had grown up with, his heart skipped a beat. At first he ignored it and didn't think anything of his emotions, but with time he came to realize that at some point he had developed feelings for Amanda Sefton.
Although, those feelings and thoughts were crushed when he saw her walking around back home in Munich with a boy she knew from school. Making out, hugging, or holding hands, Kurt wanted to curl into a ball and sulk because he knew he'd never be in that picture.
Kurt knew that it wasn't easy being a mutant no matter what you looked like. Lately there had been more reports of mutants letting themselves be known to the public, and the reaction wasn't good—and they all were normal looking.
Through time, though, Kurt came to the realization that no matter how much he wished upon that first star at night, and no matter how much he prayed to God, he couldn't change who he was. Amanda asked him one night how he was able to finally get out of his depressive moods and denials and was surprised when he replied, "By reading the scriptures and following His teachings."
Amanda didn't understand much of what Kurt felt when it came to religion. Her mother was never a religious person, and she rarely prayed, if at all. Like most people her age, Amanda questioned if there was a higher being, and if there was she didn't see it as a benefit to her life. Although she had friends and enjoyed good times with them, people liked to laugh because her mother worked in a circus where their parents were doctors, teachers, or even factory workers.
Amanda wished she could have the faith that Kurt had. She needed something to believe in from time to time, but every time she did take the chance and pray at night, life only seemed to get harder. The summer months were the only times she could escape from the peer pressure.
During that summer Margali made a new schedule of the countries the circus would travel to. During an outdoor meeting she held on her farmhouse property, she read the list and looked up for approval from the older members.
"We'll do a few shows up in Northern Germany, of course Berlin," she said as she flipped through a few pages on the clipboard she held. "Of course make our annual appearance in Sweden and Norway, probably Ireland for a change, and most likely Russia. Sound good?"
"When do we leave?" Chester asked his way of saying it's acceptable.
Alexi raised his hand as if he were in a classroom. When eyes shifted to him he cleared his deep voice and looked at Margali. "I heard something about going to the States? That next year?"
Margali shook her head. "Going across seas will cost a lot more than we have right now. I'd prefer to take a boat 'cause that way we can keep our own vehicles, like when we go to Ireland and England. And when we are over there we'd be there for some time." She looked at the chart that held all of the money numbers. "I think within the next five years, maybe."
Small conversations started up once she put the clipboard down and got up to get the grills going for a big picnic dinner. Woodhead pulled out his guitar and with a few drinks in a couple of the crewmembers the laughter, terrible dancing, and a few attempts at singing started up.
Kurt sat on the side watching the entertainment being provided by his circus family. He loved this life. It couldn't get any better than this.
"Hey there," Margali said as she took a seat next to him. "Why not go out there and have fun with them?"
Kurt shrugged. "I'm fine here."
"Well, you should enjoy yourself, because if you'll accept this you'll be very busy for some time."
Kurt looked at her with bewilderment, wondering what she was getting at. Margali smiled and held up a poster. Kurt's eyes glanced at the picture of the twin fire-breathers and read the text around it:
The Szardos' traveling Munich Circus
Proudly presents
An All New Show
Featuring:
Trent Brown, the spectacular aerialist
Varick & Vilmos, the fire breathing V-Brothers
Hannelore, a famous Arabian horse trainer
and for the first time
Nightcrawler, the youngest German trapeze artist
Kurt had to reread the last line to see if he had seen it right. "Nightcrawler…. That's my name." He looked up at Margali, who gave him a warm smile.
"If you're willing, we've got a whole show set up centered around you. Your skills are amazing and I know you can make it big, Kurt."
Kurt thought about it for a moment. Then he realized that this was what he was born to do. This was God's answer for him being a mutant. His unnatural agility made him able to do the hardest stunts with ease, and his demon-like tail was an extra limb to help him go farther than anyone could.
"I'll do it," he said. "But…I'm afraid I'll mess up and make a fool of myself."
"You won't," Margali assured him. "I know you'll do just fine."
The trip to Sweden was very long and very tiresome, but the Munich Circus was used to it by now. Sweden was one of their yearly stops and sometimes they made it a point to make two appearances instead of one a year. Kurt enjoyed Sweden for its scenery, which he spent a lot of time viewing while the others were working and he was reading some sort of book. He would've gone with Amanda on several occasions to the nearby towns they visited, but he didn't dare. Although finding his way around wouldn't have been a problem and his knowledge of speaking fluent Swedish gave him a heads up to what was going on, but he feared what people would say about him, as always.
Yet that wasn't the topic on Kurt's mind as they made their way to the Swedish town they were to camp in. A knot was constant in Kurt's stomach and he didn't feel like eating when the time came. Kurt was never one to be known for being nervous, but the thought of performing in front of hundreds of strangers sent his nerves on high alert.
The camp didn't take much more than a day to set up once they arrived. Being on the performance team now, Kurt didn't have to help much with the preparations he normally would've assisted in. Instead he was busy learning what he had to do for his act that included six other members, including another trapeze artist.
"We're doing a skit that includes an angel and the devil," Woodhead explained to the group. "Not much we can explain until the trapeze is ready to go—then we can practice it out. But I know they've got the costumes ready in the makeup trailer."
Kurt followed the others to the trailer almost ready to lay a finger on the part he was to play. And his assumptions were right. Margali stood inside, fishing out the four monk costumes, two angel costumes, and finally a devil's costume, although it wasn't the traditional red suit one would expect.
"And for Nightcrawler," Margali said as she tossed Kurt the outfit. "And you get to carry around this," she said. She held up small trident, similar to one you'd see Satan carrying around in books.
Kurt tried not to show his disappointment. Honestly, he thought he'd have a chance at his own solo performance, not one where he'd be viewed as a devil. But Chester later assured him that it was the best part where people wouldn't recognize him as a mutant.
That night, when everyone went to bed earlier to get a good nights rest before the opening show the next day, Kurt sat on top the roof of one of the trailers, having teleported there for some privacy. He knew that Alexi, who he now shared a trailer with, couldn't hear him, for the strong mutant could sleep through a nuclear war without a problem.
Kurt's fingers played with the rosary beads the priest had given him. Yellow eyes shifted to the clear sky above and Kurt wondered how terrible the next day was going to be. "Vater unser in Himmel, Geheiligt werde dein Name, Dein Reich komme, Dein Wille geschehe, wie im Himmel so auf Erden."
Kurt paused from the Lord's prayer he spoke in German and looked at the white circus tent a few yards from where he sat on the trailer. "Unser tägliches Brot gib uns heute. Und vergib uns unsere Schuld, wie auch wir vergeben unsern Schuldigern. Und führe uns von dem Bösen Denn Dein ist das Reich und die Kraft und die Herrlichkeit in Ewigkeit…. Amen."
The only thing that could be heard for a few moments was the pleasant sound of crickets chirping in the distance and a slight breeze dashing through the trees. Kurt's fingers continued to hold and roll the rosary beads and the silver cross as he bowed his head and closed his eyes. "Father, please give me strength…. Help me give a good show and not make a fool of myself."
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German Translations: I found the Lord's Prayer in German on some site a while ago, so I thought it'd be neat to use it in this chapter to emphasize Kurt's nationality and faith in God. I'm not going to translate the entire prayer word for word, but if you don't know it and would like to, either do a search or email me or something. It's not hard to find on the net though.