Crocodile's Alternative-Lifestyle Adventure
Chapter 3 -- Alabasta! HO! [Alternative title: i'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorry ]
Mihawk stared at the letter infront of him; looking at the text, letting it all absorb fully into his mind. Crocodile, the man he'd sent -- well, technically, HE didn't send ANY of the letters to the other man himself -- but nonetheless, he'd sent..well, one...But the other man wanted to meet already. He blinked a few times, memorizing the address scrawled on the envelope. He closed his eyes and nodded, "I'm going to meet this man," he declared, looking around for Shanks and Ben, to inform them he was leaving, despite the fact he had no idea what the hell a 'Rain Dinners' was, or how you could get there.
"MIHAWK!! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!! DINNER!!" called Ben's gruff voice. Mihawk's stomach growled -- dinner was a good idea right about now. He'd break the news to them both there -- that way, if Shanks started sobbing about his friend leaving, Ben would be there to..er..snuggle some sense into the man. Although the mere thought of affection (especially between Shanks and Ben) sickened Mihawk, the sooner he could get away from them, the better! He quickly jaunted off to eat with the other men.
On the mighty island of mystery, the crew generally ate wherever they wanted. They also tended to eat whatever was around as well -- becuase it's the pirate-y thing to do. However, Ben usually took pretty good care of Shanks, and would cook for his captain -- and, because Mihawk was a close friend to Shanks, Mihawk reaped the benefits of that. Sure, Ben's cooking skills were sub-par, but at least they were a step above and beyond "Boil water. Open box. Pour contents of box into boiling water. Cook for ten minutes. Eat". Mihawk had to admit that, although a master at swordsmanship, he was a complete idiot when it came to food preparation. He once burned water.
Shanks sat on an over-turned bucket, fork and knife in hand, grinning, waiting for Ben to bring him whatever delicious, simplistic meal his first mate had prepared. Mihawk sat down a little farther than next to him, on a nearby rock, unsheathing his dagger from the cross-sheath it had, and catching a fork that Shanks decided to throw at his head -- most likely with the intent of knocking Mihawk's hat off, just so that the red-head could giggle with giddy, school-girlish glee. "Don't throw things at my head," Mihawk cautioned, "You might lose another arm.."
"Stop threatening Shanks, and eat your food," Ben said, walking over, putting a plate of rice and broccoli infront of Mihawk, and then one infront of Shanks, before sitting down himself, across from Shanks, on a rock, adjacent to Mihawk, with his own plate. Mihawk, hungry as..well, something that's really hungry and shovels food into thier mouths like a robot in fear of somebody else taking it on them. Shanks just sat there, staring at his food. Ben looked at Shanks, "What's wrong?"
"...There's green things on my plate.." Shanks said, staring at the broccoli on his plate.
"It's called broccoli. Eat it. It's good for you."
"NO." Shanks said, folding his arm over his chest and turning his head away.
"Why not?" Ben demanded.
"Because it's yucky-looking!"
"You haven't even tasted it! Try some!"
"NOOOO!!!!" whined Shanks, "It's green, it's yucky-smelling and IT LOOKS LIKE A BABY TREE!!"
"Just eat is Shanks..." Mihawk muttered.
"NO!!!!!" the red-head cried, having a childish tantrum. He suddenly stopped, "Ben..? When a boy tree and a girl tree love each other very much, do they make broccoli?"
"Yes Shanks. A girl tree and a boy tree do the pants-less no-no and make broccoli." Ben sighed.
"....Really?!" Shanks said, eyes lighting up.
"No. Now just eat it."
"NOOOOO!!!!!!"
"I'm leaving for Alabasta in the morning.."Mihawk piped in. Both men looked to Mihawk.
"WHAAAAT?!" Shanks cried. "You're LEAVING us?! But..But why?! NOOO!! Stay with us, Mihawk!! I'll eat my broccoli like a good boy!! See? See?!" Shanks said, spearing a piece with his fork and shoving it into his mouth -- making the most disgusted faces and gagging noises as he possibly could as he did so. Ben sighed and lit up a new cigar,
"Alabasta...That's where you're new man-friend lives..isn't it?" Ben asked. Mihawk nodded,
"Yes..He wants to meet.."
"AWWWW!!!!!" Shanks squeeled.
"Shut the hell up," Mihawk said, glaring at Shanks.
"How do you plan on getting there, Mihawk?" Ben asked, ignoring Shanks.
"I'll take my boat.." Mihawk stated, adjusting his hat a little.
"...No you won't.." Ben said, hiding a grin behind a large hand.
"What do you mean?" Mihawk asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Lucky Roux and Yassop got wasted last night and..well, let's just say, your boat has seen better days..."
"WHAT?!?!?! FATTY AND BAD SKIN?!!? ARGH!!!" Mihawk yelled, taking his hat off, and throwing it to the ground with such force, it bounced back up and landed on his head.
".....That was pretty cool.."Ben said, blinking, staring at Mihawk's hat.
"Paaaaayyyy attention to meeeeeee.." Shanks whined.
"Quiet Shanks. The adults are speaking." Ben said, hushing his lover. Mihawk sighed,
"How am I going to get to Alabasta NOW?!" Mihawk said, rubbing his temples. Shanks got up, making sure the plate full of rice and disgusting broccoli would fall face first onto the sand, and put his only good arm around Mihawk's neck,
"Well Fool-Buddy...We'll take you!" Shanks said, happily.
"Duh-wha??" Mihawk asked, eyes wide, blinking. His goal was to get AWAY from these freaks -- AWAY.
"Pack up mates!!" Shanks called to his crew, "The Red-Hair Pirate Crew is goin' to ALABASTA!!"
"ALABASTA HERE WE COME!!" Yassop yelled, punching the air with a fist, and then glaring at Mihawk, "I do NOT have bad skin.."
~*~*~*~*~
Nico sat in a chair by the door that the postman would drop the mail in at -- Crocodile, being the saavy business-type man he attempted to be, decided that the postman should bring all of their mail a door located at the back of the casino -- making him pass by all the roulette tables, the bar, and the slot machines, in hopes of giving the poor, mentally unstable lunatic with the .44 in his mail bag another addiction. Nico sat, tapping her nails together, staring at the mail slot with dead-set eyes...Waiting....Watching...Her heart rate speeding up as the moment she was waiting for would soon come.
Several envelopes got shoved through the mail slot. Nico BOLTED up and grabbed hold of the knob -- only to find, it was locked. "ARGH!!!!!" she screamed, "FUCKING....NOZZLE!!!" She'd forgotten exactally what the little knob on the door was called -- she'd been known to do that from time to time, and it made her very cross. She unlocked the infernal device, and opened the door, screaming out into the crowded casino, "I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME MR.POSTMAN!!!!! .....UNLESS YOU'RE A GHOST. THEN DON'T HAUNT ME. PLEASE. KAY? THAAANKS!!" and with that, she closed the door. Crocodile came up behind her, holding a Ziggy mug with coffee in it.
"Feeling better?" he asked. Nico turned around and nodded to Crocodile,
"Much better," she replied, and then took the mug from him, and sipping on the coffee.
".....That's my Ziggy mug..." Crocodile said, moping.
"Oh grow up."
Crocodile pushed Nico aside and bent down to pick up the mail -- Nico decided to use this to her advantage, and gave her boss a 'friendly' smack on the rear end. Crocodile blinked and looked over his shoulder at her, just as she pulled her hand away. "...Did you just slap my ass?" he questioned. Nico attempted to look as innocent as possible.
"SLAP your ASS? NO sir!! Not me! Never! It must have been that...bean...you ate.." she replied, innocently whistling. A doofy grin crossed Crocodile's face,
"Yeah.. That was one HELL of a three-bean salad.." he said. Nico sweatdropped.
"You.. didn't actually eat that, did you..?" she questioned, remembering how the two of them had cleaned out a mini fridge in one of the rooms Crocodile didn't go in very often, and they had discovered that foul-smelling container of only gods-knew-what. They decided on it being three-bean salad from the Taco Taco Fantastico down the street -- they had ordered it three months ago.
"Well.. Why not? I mean.. It was in the fridge..and not entirely open.." he said. Nico clutched her stomach.
"Excuse me. I'm going to be sick..." she said, running off to the can-room, dropping the Ziggy mug. Crocodile stood up after catching the mug.
"Gee... Nico's sure been acting strange this past... while..." Crocodile said to himself -- unable to do simple math problems in his head because too much grease from his hair had seeped into his brain, therefore unable to calculate out how long Nico'd been acting strange (it had been no more than a week or so). "She must be hopped up on the crack."
~*~*~*~*~
Mihawk and the Akakami pirate crew were sailing towards Alabasta -- Mihawk was still pretty pissy that Shanks wanted to come along to meet Crocodile, but Ben told him that he's do his best to keep Shanks busy for at least a few hours. Mihawk sighed and leaned over the side of the ship, his arms dangling, looking both angry and bored -- only something Mihawk knew how to do. Shanks popped up behind the hawk-eyed man. "Heeey MIIIHAAAAWK!" he cried.
"What?" Mihawk said, not even startled. Shanks frowned, upset that he couldn't scare the bejesus out of Mihawk anymore.
"What ever happened to that one guy you were dating? Do-Flamming-Homo or something.."
"Doflamingo?"
"Yeah! That guy! Wore the pink..thing.."
"We decided it was best to move on. He was sleeping with an ugly man that looked like a bear, and I was sleeping with you while you breifly cheated on Ben--"
"SHH!!" Shanks yelled. "Ben doesn't know about that!!"
"Yes he does,"Mihawk said, grinning.
"What do you mean?!" Shanks asked, eyes wide.
"I told him a couple minutes ago.."
"Ahh!! That's why he's ignoring me!!" Shanks cried out, tears forming in his eyes. "I need to go apologize to him!!" and with that, Shanks ran off. Mihawk smirked and stood upright, following after Shanks -- this is something he'd HAVE to see, peticularly considering he didn't tell Ben ANYTHING.
"BEN!! I'M SORRY!!" Shanks cried. Mihawk was standing right near the red-haired captain now, whom was banging his fist on the bathroom door. "PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!"
"I'M ON THE CAN!!" Ben shouted, "AND I FORGIVE YOU! For whatever it was you did.." Ben said back, flipping through the newspaper. Mihawk started laughing and pointed at Shanks.
"Ha ha! You've been FORGIVEN!"
"DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME!!" Shanks yelled at Mihawk, now sobbing.
"MIHAWK!! DID YOU MAKE SHANKS CRY?!" Ben shouted.
"No, he's just being an idiot." Mihawk replied to the bathroom door.
"He does that alot," Ben said, returning to reading the newspaper while on the crapper.
~*~*~*~*~
Crocodile sat sprawled out in a chair in the Baroque Works meeting room, his feet up on the table. Nico sat nearby, in a tacky inflatable chair she brought down from one of the upper hippie-retro rooms, flipping through a random gay porn magazine she'd found underneath it. Crocodile streched out, "Wow Miss All Sunday..How about this HEAT?" he asked, as he unbuttoned his shirt with his bling-bling covered hand.
"Uh..huh.." Nico replied, looking at the centerfold of the magazine, glancing over at Crocodile unbuttoning his shirt. Crocodile looked down at his chest and broke out laughing,
"Wow! Hey Nico!! Check it out! My nipple's like a JUNIOR MINT!"
"Sir? That IS a Junior Mint.." Nico replied, sweatdropping. Crocodile blinked and picked off the Junior Mint that was stuck to his right nipple.
"I LOVE chocolate.." he said, looking to Nico, grinning, "But I can't eat it.." he continued, popping the half-melted chocolate coated mint into his mouth that had probably been stuck to him for several days by this point, "Because it'll make me FAT.." he said as he chewed, "But it's SOOOOO GOOD!!"
"Yes sir.. Whatever." Nico responded -- she'd stopped listening a few minutes ago.
"...Miss All Sunday!! Are you reading PORN!?" Crocodile asked, sounding semi-disgusted.
"....No..." Nico responded, looking slightly ashamed, trying to hide the magazine.
"..Then what were you looking at?!"
"...Sometimes? When I look at my viens; my hands they remind me of these two snakes that love."
"..Oh, okay." Crocodile said, "That's okay then."
"Sir? Are you SURE that you want to meet this guy?"
"What guy?" Crocodile asked, licking his finger and trying to rub off the remaining chocolate that had encrusted itself to his nipple.
"This..Mihawk... guy.." Nico said, sounding slighlty bitter.
"..Mi...hawk..?" Crocodile asked, blinking.
"...The guy who's built like a tank and had abs you can grate cheese on?"
"Oh!! That guy!! Yeah!"
"Well, he's probably going to show up either today or tomorrow.." Nico said, half-muttering. Crocodile gasped.
"OH MY GOD!! I NEED TO GET CHANGED!!" and with that, he bolted up from the chair and tripped up the stairs. Nico gaspsed and got up, running over.
"Mr.0!! Are you alright?!"
"DID SOMEBODY SAY BONDAGE?!" Crocodile cried, jumping up.
"No?" Nico said, now offically confused.
"...Oh.." Crocodile said, hanging his head and walking off.
"...My boss is WEIRD..."
~END PART 3! ~
A note from Baka Kitsune:
Okay, yyyeah. VEY overdue and semi rushed.. but enjoy it!! There WILL be a part 4! After exams. I PROMISE. By FEBRUARY!! If a 4th part isn't up by Feb., PLEASE message me via AIM or MSN or Yahoo and SLAP ME WITH A LUTEFISH. Understood? MAHH-VELOUS!
Chapter 3 -- Alabasta! HO! [Alternative title: i'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorry ]
Mihawk stared at the letter infront of him; looking at the text, letting it all absorb fully into his mind. Crocodile, the man he'd sent -- well, technically, HE didn't send ANY of the letters to the other man himself -- but nonetheless, he'd sent..well, one...But the other man wanted to meet already. He blinked a few times, memorizing the address scrawled on the envelope. He closed his eyes and nodded, "I'm going to meet this man," he declared, looking around for Shanks and Ben, to inform them he was leaving, despite the fact he had no idea what the hell a 'Rain Dinners' was, or how you could get there.
"MIHAWK!! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!! DINNER!!" called Ben's gruff voice. Mihawk's stomach growled -- dinner was a good idea right about now. He'd break the news to them both there -- that way, if Shanks started sobbing about his friend leaving, Ben would be there to..er..snuggle some sense into the man. Although the mere thought of affection (especially between Shanks and Ben) sickened Mihawk, the sooner he could get away from them, the better! He quickly jaunted off to eat with the other men.
On the mighty island of mystery, the crew generally ate wherever they wanted. They also tended to eat whatever was around as well -- becuase it's the pirate-y thing to do. However, Ben usually took pretty good care of Shanks, and would cook for his captain -- and, because Mihawk was a close friend to Shanks, Mihawk reaped the benefits of that. Sure, Ben's cooking skills were sub-par, but at least they were a step above and beyond "Boil water. Open box. Pour contents of box into boiling water. Cook for ten minutes. Eat". Mihawk had to admit that, although a master at swordsmanship, he was a complete idiot when it came to food preparation. He once burned water.
Shanks sat on an over-turned bucket, fork and knife in hand, grinning, waiting for Ben to bring him whatever delicious, simplistic meal his first mate had prepared. Mihawk sat down a little farther than next to him, on a nearby rock, unsheathing his dagger from the cross-sheath it had, and catching a fork that Shanks decided to throw at his head -- most likely with the intent of knocking Mihawk's hat off, just so that the red-head could giggle with giddy, school-girlish glee. "Don't throw things at my head," Mihawk cautioned, "You might lose another arm.."
"Stop threatening Shanks, and eat your food," Ben said, walking over, putting a plate of rice and broccoli infront of Mihawk, and then one infront of Shanks, before sitting down himself, across from Shanks, on a rock, adjacent to Mihawk, with his own plate. Mihawk, hungry as..well, something that's really hungry and shovels food into thier mouths like a robot in fear of somebody else taking it on them. Shanks just sat there, staring at his food. Ben looked at Shanks, "What's wrong?"
"...There's green things on my plate.." Shanks said, staring at the broccoli on his plate.
"It's called broccoli. Eat it. It's good for you."
"NO." Shanks said, folding his arm over his chest and turning his head away.
"Why not?" Ben demanded.
"Because it's yucky-looking!"
"You haven't even tasted it! Try some!"
"NOOOO!!!!" whined Shanks, "It's green, it's yucky-smelling and IT LOOKS LIKE A BABY TREE!!"
"Just eat is Shanks..." Mihawk muttered.
"NO!!!!!" the red-head cried, having a childish tantrum. He suddenly stopped, "Ben..? When a boy tree and a girl tree love each other very much, do they make broccoli?"
"Yes Shanks. A girl tree and a boy tree do the pants-less no-no and make broccoli." Ben sighed.
"....Really?!" Shanks said, eyes lighting up.
"No. Now just eat it."
"NOOOOO!!!!!!"
"I'm leaving for Alabasta in the morning.."Mihawk piped in. Both men looked to Mihawk.
"WHAAAAT?!" Shanks cried. "You're LEAVING us?! But..But why?! NOOO!! Stay with us, Mihawk!! I'll eat my broccoli like a good boy!! See? See?!" Shanks said, spearing a piece with his fork and shoving it into his mouth -- making the most disgusted faces and gagging noises as he possibly could as he did so. Ben sighed and lit up a new cigar,
"Alabasta...That's where you're new man-friend lives..isn't it?" Ben asked. Mihawk nodded,
"Yes..He wants to meet.."
"AWWWW!!!!!" Shanks squeeled.
"Shut the hell up," Mihawk said, glaring at Shanks.
"How do you plan on getting there, Mihawk?" Ben asked, ignoring Shanks.
"I'll take my boat.." Mihawk stated, adjusting his hat a little.
"...No you won't.." Ben said, hiding a grin behind a large hand.
"What do you mean?" Mihawk asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Lucky Roux and Yassop got wasted last night and..well, let's just say, your boat has seen better days..."
"WHAT?!?!?! FATTY AND BAD SKIN?!!? ARGH!!!" Mihawk yelled, taking his hat off, and throwing it to the ground with such force, it bounced back up and landed on his head.
".....That was pretty cool.."Ben said, blinking, staring at Mihawk's hat.
"Paaaaayyyy attention to meeeeeee.." Shanks whined.
"Quiet Shanks. The adults are speaking." Ben said, hushing his lover. Mihawk sighed,
"How am I going to get to Alabasta NOW?!" Mihawk said, rubbing his temples. Shanks got up, making sure the plate full of rice and disgusting broccoli would fall face first onto the sand, and put his only good arm around Mihawk's neck,
"Well Fool-Buddy...We'll take you!" Shanks said, happily.
"Duh-wha??" Mihawk asked, eyes wide, blinking. His goal was to get AWAY from these freaks -- AWAY.
"Pack up mates!!" Shanks called to his crew, "The Red-Hair Pirate Crew is goin' to ALABASTA!!"
"ALABASTA HERE WE COME!!" Yassop yelled, punching the air with a fist, and then glaring at Mihawk, "I do NOT have bad skin.."
~*~*~*~*~
Nico sat in a chair by the door that the postman would drop the mail in at -- Crocodile, being the saavy business-type man he attempted to be, decided that the postman should bring all of their mail a door located at the back of the casino -- making him pass by all the roulette tables, the bar, and the slot machines, in hopes of giving the poor, mentally unstable lunatic with the .44 in his mail bag another addiction. Nico sat, tapping her nails together, staring at the mail slot with dead-set eyes...Waiting....Watching...Her heart rate speeding up as the moment she was waiting for would soon come.
Several envelopes got shoved through the mail slot. Nico BOLTED up and grabbed hold of the knob -- only to find, it was locked. "ARGH!!!!!" she screamed, "FUCKING....NOZZLE!!!" She'd forgotten exactally what the little knob on the door was called -- she'd been known to do that from time to time, and it made her very cross. She unlocked the infernal device, and opened the door, screaming out into the crowded casino, "I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME MR.POSTMAN!!!!! .....UNLESS YOU'RE A GHOST. THEN DON'T HAUNT ME. PLEASE. KAY? THAAANKS!!" and with that, she closed the door. Crocodile came up behind her, holding a Ziggy mug with coffee in it.
"Feeling better?" he asked. Nico turned around and nodded to Crocodile,
"Much better," she replied, and then took the mug from him, and sipping on the coffee.
".....That's my Ziggy mug..." Crocodile said, moping.
"Oh grow up."
Crocodile pushed Nico aside and bent down to pick up the mail -- Nico decided to use this to her advantage, and gave her boss a 'friendly' smack on the rear end. Crocodile blinked and looked over his shoulder at her, just as she pulled her hand away. "...Did you just slap my ass?" he questioned. Nico attempted to look as innocent as possible.
"SLAP your ASS? NO sir!! Not me! Never! It must have been that...bean...you ate.." she replied, innocently whistling. A doofy grin crossed Crocodile's face,
"Yeah.. That was one HELL of a three-bean salad.." he said. Nico sweatdropped.
"You.. didn't actually eat that, did you..?" she questioned, remembering how the two of them had cleaned out a mini fridge in one of the rooms Crocodile didn't go in very often, and they had discovered that foul-smelling container of only gods-knew-what. They decided on it being three-bean salad from the Taco Taco Fantastico down the street -- they had ordered it three months ago.
"Well.. Why not? I mean.. It was in the fridge..and not entirely open.." he said. Nico clutched her stomach.
"Excuse me. I'm going to be sick..." she said, running off to the can-room, dropping the Ziggy mug. Crocodile stood up after catching the mug.
"Gee... Nico's sure been acting strange this past... while..." Crocodile said to himself -- unable to do simple math problems in his head because too much grease from his hair had seeped into his brain, therefore unable to calculate out how long Nico'd been acting strange (it had been no more than a week or so). "She must be hopped up on the crack."
~*~*~*~*~
Mihawk and the Akakami pirate crew were sailing towards Alabasta -- Mihawk was still pretty pissy that Shanks wanted to come along to meet Crocodile, but Ben told him that he's do his best to keep Shanks busy for at least a few hours. Mihawk sighed and leaned over the side of the ship, his arms dangling, looking both angry and bored -- only something Mihawk knew how to do. Shanks popped up behind the hawk-eyed man. "Heeey MIIIHAAAAWK!" he cried.
"What?" Mihawk said, not even startled. Shanks frowned, upset that he couldn't scare the bejesus out of Mihawk anymore.
"What ever happened to that one guy you were dating? Do-Flamming-Homo or something.."
"Doflamingo?"
"Yeah! That guy! Wore the pink..thing.."
"We decided it was best to move on. He was sleeping with an ugly man that looked like a bear, and I was sleeping with you while you breifly cheated on Ben--"
"SHH!!" Shanks yelled. "Ben doesn't know about that!!"
"Yes he does,"Mihawk said, grinning.
"What do you mean?!" Shanks asked, eyes wide.
"I told him a couple minutes ago.."
"Ahh!! That's why he's ignoring me!!" Shanks cried out, tears forming in his eyes. "I need to go apologize to him!!" and with that, Shanks ran off. Mihawk smirked and stood upright, following after Shanks -- this is something he'd HAVE to see, peticularly considering he didn't tell Ben ANYTHING.
"BEN!! I'M SORRY!!" Shanks cried. Mihawk was standing right near the red-haired captain now, whom was banging his fist on the bathroom door. "PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!"
"I'M ON THE CAN!!" Ben shouted, "AND I FORGIVE YOU! For whatever it was you did.." Ben said back, flipping through the newspaper. Mihawk started laughing and pointed at Shanks.
"Ha ha! You've been FORGIVEN!"
"DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME!!" Shanks yelled at Mihawk, now sobbing.
"MIHAWK!! DID YOU MAKE SHANKS CRY?!" Ben shouted.
"No, he's just being an idiot." Mihawk replied to the bathroom door.
"He does that alot," Ben said, returning to reading the newspaper while on the crapper.
~*~*~*~*~
Crocodile sat sprawled out in a chair in the Baroque Works meeting room, his feet up on the table. Nico sat nearby, in a tacky inflatable chair she brought down from one of the upper hippie-retro rooms, flipping through a random gay porn magazine she'd found underneath it. Crocodile streched out, "Wow Miss All Sunday..How about this HEAT?" he asked, as he unbuttoned his shirt with his bling-bling covered hand.
"Uh..huh.." Nico replied, looking at the centerfold of the magazine, glancing over at Crocodile unbuttoning his shirt. Crocodile looked down at his chest and broke out laughing,
"Wow! Hey Nico!! Check it out! My nipple's like a JUNIOR MINT!"
"Sir? That IS a Junior Mint.." Nico replied, sweatdropping. Crocodile blinked and picked off the Junior Mint that was stuck to his right nipple.
"I LOVE chocolate.." he said, looking to Nico, grinning, "But I can't eat it.." he continued, popping the half-melted chocolate coated mint into his mouth that had probably been stuck to him for several days by this point, "Because it'll make me FAT.." he said as he chewed, "But it's SOOOOO GOOD!!"
"Yes sir.. Whatever." Nico responded -- she'd stopped listening a few minutes ago.
"...Miss All Sunday!! Are you reading PORN!?" Crocodile asked, sounding semi-disgusted.
"....No..." Nico responded, looking slightly ashamed, trying to hide the magazine.
"..Then what were you looking at?!"
"...Sometimes? When I look at my viens; my hands they remind me of these two snakes that love."
"..Oh, okay." Crocodile said, "That's okay then."
"Sir? Are you SURE that you want to meet this guy?"
"What guy?" Crocodile asked, licking his finger and trying to rub off the remaining chocolate that had encrusted itself to his nipple.
"This..Mihawk... guy.." Nico said, sounding slighlty bitter.
"..Mi...hawk..?" Crocodile asked, blinking.
"...The guy who's built like a tank and had abs you can grate cheese on?"
"Oh!! That guy!! Yeah!"
"Well, he's probably going to show up either today or tomorrow.." Nico said, half-muttering. Crocodile gasped.
"OH MY GOD!! I NEED TO GET CHANGED!!" and with that, he bolted up from the chair and tripped up the stairs. Nico gaspsed and got up, running over.
"Mr.0!! Are you alright?!"
"DID SOMEBODY SAY BONDAGE?!" Crocodile cried, jumping up.
"No?" Nico said, now offically confused.
"...Oh.." Crocodile said, hanging his head and walking off.
"...My boss is WEIRD..."
~END PART 3! ~
A note from Baka Kitsune:
Okay, yyyeah. VEY overdue and semi rushed.. but enjoy it!! There WILL be a part 4! After exams. I PROMISE. By FEBRUARY!! If a 4th part isn't up by Feb., PLEASE message me via AIM or MSN or Yahoo and SLAP ME WITH A LUTEFISH. Understood? MAHH-VELOUS!