Misfortune
~*~
Abby stormed after Carter into the lounge.
Carter was sitting on the sofa, his face in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.
"Carter…" he didn't even acknowledge her presence.
"Carter, look at me," she said, trying to make him listen. He didn't move. She sat next to him, rubbing her hand up and down his back, trying to console him, but he wouldn't listen.
"I'm such an idiot," he muttered into his hands.
"No, you're not."
"I am. I tricked myself into thinking I loved her, I tricked myself into being happy and now, all these waves of regret are drowning me. And I don't know what to do." She sat quietly beside him. She didn't want to break the silence and make him uncomfortable.
Was it evil to be happy he needed her?
"It'll be okay," she said, trying to sound reassuring and the sugary fakeness of her voice disgusted even her.
"No, no, it won't. How am I supposed to face them all?" He lifted his face from his hands and looked her in the eye, "They'll mock me. They'll taunt me. They won't understand."
"Carter, I don't think you're a fool. Me. Of all people. I was the person who was most disapproving of your relationship and I don't think any less of you now." He rested his head on her shoulder and she liked the way it felt. She hadn't been this close with someone in a long time.
"Abby, you're different. You're… you're my best friend. You understand a lot of things that other people don't." She didn't know what to say so they sat in a comfortable silence, Carter resting his head on her shoulder and she rubbing his back softly.
They sat like that for a while before Abby got up to continue her shift, stretching her muscles as she left the lounge and closed the door softly behind her.
~*~
Later that evening, on her way out of the hospital, Abby bumped into Carter for the first time since their meeting in the lounge.
"Hey, Abby," he said, looking at his hands.
"Yeah?"
"You want to catch dinner or something tomorrow?" Abby was taken aback. Was he asking her out? She was suddenly very uncomfortable. She liked their friendship, but she had already witnessed the disastrous consequences of a serious relationship with him.
"What, you mean like a date?" she asked jokingly, dreading his response.
"Yeah," he said in all seriousness, still staring at his hands, "something like that."
"Carter…" she began. Why did he have to do this to her? If she said no he would be hurt, and if she said yes, she'd be lying.
"I'm flattered that you ask. But, I feel like I'd be a fall-upon. You just broke up with Kem, she hurt you and you need someone to make up for it. Someone that you can hang out. And I don't mind being your friend, Carter. I'll always be your friend, but I feel like starting a relationship would be rushing things and later we'd both regret it and I don't want you to be something I regret." She said it in all sincerity and she hoped that she hadn't hurt him.
He nodded sheepishly and didn't look up from his downward glance.
"It's okay," he muttered finally, "I was kind of hoping you'd say no." Abby smiled sadly at the figure before her. He was hurting inside and she knew it.
"Carter, it's going to be okay," she said firmly and she kissed him lightly on the cheek before leaving the hospital with Carter watching her go.