Crocodile's Alternative-Lifestyle Adventure
Chapter 4: Q-BERT
(title suggested by Doug)
"This was a wonderful idea.." Shanks whispered into Ben's ear. Ben smiled and wrapped his arms around Shanks' naked body; as the two men shared a hot bath together, hidden away below deck. They hadn't really had much time to bathe together since Mihawk had been living with them -- on account they figured that they couldn't leave Mihawk unattended due to inevitable fact he'd kill every single member of the Red-Hair pirates. Mihawk assured them he would be okay as long as non of them pissed him off; so the two men figured they'd be fine. Shanks rested his chest against Ben's; the red-head's lips nearly touching those of the dark-haired man. "Make love me me, Ben.." Shanks whispered, "I want you deep inside me.." he moaned softly as he rubbed his hips against the other man's. "Kiss me.."
The two men leaned in to one and other; thier lips nearly touching, when Mihawk bust into the room and shouted as loud as he could -- "MARBLE TUPLIP JUICY TREE!!!". Both Ben and Shanks jumped to opposite ends of the stared at Mihawk -- angry, confused AND completly weireded out at the same time by Mihawk's outburst. Mihawk clapped his hands together and laughed at the two men. "Oh MAN!! you guys should see the looks on your faces!!" he cried -- he really wasn't acting very Mihawk-y today.
"GET OUT OF HERE!!" Shanks screamed, throwing a bar of soap at Mihawk's head -- missing by no less than a foot. Mihawk sighed and shook his head;
"We're about to dock. We've reached Alabasta. Come on. .. We need to figure out how to get to this.. "Rainy Land" place.. or whatever.." Mihawk said; realizing now he had NO idea where the hell he was. Ben sighed,
"Fine.. we'll be up in a few minutes.." Ben said. Mihawk nodded and left. Shanks pouted,
"But I wanted to have sex.." he whined.
"We will...later." Ben said, leaning over and kissing Shanks on the forehead.
~*~*~*~*~
Mihawk climbed back up to the upper-deck and streched out. "Ahh.. What a nice day.." and suddenly, a bird smucked into his face. "STABBLE STABBLE STABBLE!!!" he shouted, groping for something to stab the bird with. The bird squacked, dropping a letter it was carrying and flew away. Mihawk turned around and shook his fist in the direction the bird had gone, screaming, "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT YOU FREAKIN' OUSEUX!!!
"umm.. Mihawk? There was only one bird.." Yassop said, timidly. Mihawk turned around and glared,
"You better pretend you don't speak French RIGHT now, Jesus Bu.." Mihawk warned.
"My name is Yassop.." Yassop corrected.
"Suure it is CRAIG." Yassop figured it was now time to back off about trying to get Mihawk to say his name right.
"Look! The bird dropped something!"
"Ooh.. We should open it.." Mihawk said, picking up the envelope. "It might be coupons for free General Mills products!"
"Even thier Old El Paso taco sauce?" Yassop gasped,
"ESPECIALLY their Old El Paso taco sauce!"
"Wow.. What an age we live in..." Yassop said in awe. Mihawk opened up the envelope; and found only a letter inside. He quickly read it to himself.
"Hmm..." he said, musing to himself.
"What's a hmm?" Shanks asked; appearing fully-dressed behind Mihawk. Mihawk turned his head to the red-head,
"There's a carriage waiting outside this town to take us to where Crocodile lives.." Mihawk said. Shanks blinked, and Ben walked over to the group,
"How did these people know where you'd be?" he asked -- Ben had super hearing and was able to hear the whole conversation. Mihawk looked up and pointed to the sky.
"Satelites.." he whispered.
"Uh-huh... Yes... Satelites... Riiiiight..." Ben said. Shanks shrugged,
"Well, let's just get to the cart -- Yassop, you and the rest of the crew stay here. We'll be back...at some point.. We'll bring you back something nice" Shanks said, patting Yassop on the head and then batting one of Yassop's dreadlocks.
"Please stop that." Yassop said with a sweatdrop.
"Yes Shanks, listen to Terrance, and let's go" Mihawk said, now impatient.
~*~*~*~*~
Crocodile stood in the bathroom, a leg on the toilet seat, wearing only a pair of boxers that looked as if they'd been made from his yellow-plaid shirt. "When the working day is done; girls - they want to have fun! Oh girls just want to have fun!" he sang, as he sloppily shaved his hairy legs. "Tee hee! I am gonna look so pretty for my date!" he said. Nico sighed from where she sat -- which was on the edge of the bathtub.
"Shave UP you idiot.." she said, an annoyed tone in her voice.
"Huh?" Crocodile said, blinking. He tried shaving in the opposite direction he'd been going in -- realizing it was much easier that way. "Thank you Miss All Sunday! Now I'll be sure to look pretty for my date with Derwood!"
"His name, is Mihawk."
"Yes! Mihawk, of course! Derwood Mihawk!"
"Juraquille.."
"Dracul?"
"Yes, that's an acceptable spelling.."
"..Spelling..?"
"Nevermind..." Nico sighed. "This guy is TOTALLY wrong for you anyways."
"What do you mean?" Crocodile asked; extremely confused.
"Finish shaving and meet me in the meeting room later on... I need to go stalk the postman.." she said, getting up and leaving. Crocodile sighed and shook his head,
"That crack is really getting to her..I should get her into rehab.."
~*~*~*~*~
"Chaka?? Chaka? Where are you?" Pell said impatiently, looking around the palace for the other guard. "Damnit..Where is that damn dog?!"
"I'm right here." Pell turned around and saw Chaka there, carrying an empty can of what was once lilac-purple coloured paint. Pell stared at the remnants of the can and then glared up at the large-nosed man.
"I HOPE that can was used to paint our room and NOT for what I think it was.." he said, bitterly. Chaka whistled innocently and looked away fom Pell,
"I swear I didn' use it to throw at Kohza.."
And with those words, Kohza walked by the two guards with Vivi beside him -- muttering angerly, his hair, face, glasses, coat, scarf and shirt covered with lilac coloured paint. Pell scowled at Chaka, "You are SO dead.. That was OUR special thing..and you go and do it without me.. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THROWING PAINT AT KOHZA!!" he yelled.
"Honey, please, calm down.. You're making a scene.."
"I am NOT making a scene! If I was making, oh-ho-ho-boy you would KNOW I was making a scene!!"
"Well.. Just forgive me and we can get going to the Rain Base.." Chaka sighed
"Fine. Let's go." and with that, the two men headed off to the place where Crocodile's Casino is -- because sometimes we don't know how correct our subtitles are.
~*~*~*~*~
"...That is the first time I have EVER seen a turtle smoking a cigar.." Ben said as he, Shanks and Mihawk got out of the cart. They'd finally arrived at thier destination -- outside a bustling casino town in Alabasta.
"So... this is the place your lover lives, Mihawk?" Shanks asked.
"My possible "lover", yes..I... think.." he said.
"Hey, this place looks great! We should do some shopping Ben-Ben!!" Shanks squeeled, adding quickly, "As long as you don't buy any creepy desert broccoli!!" Ben sighed,
"I won't.."
"Alright, while you guys get groceries, I'll go meet this guy.. Okay?" Mihawk said.
"Sounds fine to me." Ben agreed, "How about you, Shanks?" Ben asked, blinking, looking around for Shanks, "Captain..?"
Shanks had wandered off ahead and was playing on the ground with some children who were playing jacks. "Ooh!! I got TWOSIES!" the red-head cried out gleefully. Ben sighed and shook his head.
"We'll see you later, Mihawk."
Mihawk walked off in a direction that would get him away from Ben and the red-haired man-child with hairy legs known as Shanks. Though he usually had a very good sense of direction on the sea, Mihawk was a moron in towns. He was literally walking in a circle -- but what was truly sad, was he was just walking in the very same spot, in a circular pattern. "Durr... WHERE am I?"
~*~*~*~*~
Pell walked along beside Chaka -- they'd gotten to the Rainy place. Chaka looked over at Pell, "Soooo....Are you ever going to tell me about the guy you had once who was better than me in bed?" he asked, bluntly. Pell stopped and his cheeks flushed a little. It had been a long time since he'd even mentioned that to Chaka -- mentioned about that one-night stand he'd had with a very attractive man with interesting facial hair (after Pell had mentioned that one night several months back, Chaka grew a handle-bar mustache -- everyone in the palace DEMANDED he cut it off after two days). It wasn't a very passionate affair -- in fact, Pell had pretended to be foreign and spoke very strangely the whole time -- but it was one hell of a memortable event. Pell shook his head, clearing it of all memories of the other man.
Pell opened his mouth to speak, but as he did he saw just ahead of him, walking in circles, the man he'd spent that unforgettable night with -- Dracul Mihawk. Pell swallowed hard, and was stuck for words for a moment. Then, an idea struck him -- possibly the most brilliant idea in the history of man-kind.. "Well Pell? Are you?" Chaka asked. Pell turned around and cleared his throat, shouting as loudly as he could, doing everything he possibly could to draw attention to himself --
"CHA-KA!!!! I WANT TO TAAAALK TO YOOOOOU!!!" Pell shouted with a ridiculous accent. "I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE TRRRREEEEEATING ME, CHA-KA!!!! YOU TREAT ME LIKE ANI-MAL!!"
Chaka stared wide-eyed at the shorter man, feeling VERY embarrassed right now -- a crowd was gathering around them. "But.. But you were a desert falcon ten minutes ago!" he tried to argue. Pell was no where near done.
"I AM ALBASTAIN MAN NOW, CHA-KA!! I WANT WHAT IS COMING TO ME!"
"Well..What do you want?!"
"HALF!!!!!" Pell shouted, "HALF CHA-KA!!!" Chaka stared at Pell -- he couldn't believe he was hearing this. He only prayed that Pell was finished.
"Erm...Umm..." Chaka was stuck for words now.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATE-LY?!"
"Umm.. umm.. We make good love?!" Chaka blurted out -- now he was just pulling things out of the air.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.. FOR ME... LATE-LY!?!"
Mihawk came over after hearing the whole thing. He recognized Pell almost insantly. "Pell? Is that you, my funny foreign friend?" he asked. Chaka stared at Mihawk -- noticing the uniue facial hair immidietly. Pell looked to Mihawk,
"OH MIHA-K! I AM ALBASTAIN CITIZEN NOW! IT WONDERFUL! HAVING DI-VORCE WITH CHA-KA!"
"I see, that's nice.I hope it all works out for you and you're unhappy with half his stuff--" Mihawk began, intending on asking Pell how to get to the Casino.
"OH! HAPPY I WILL BE! CHA-KA!! I GET BLENDER."
"Wait just a damn minute--" Chaka said, getting angry. The last thing he wanted was Pell to leave him -- AND take the blender.
"Say, do either of you know how to get to some "Rain Dinners" place? It's..a casino?" Mihawk asked, sweatdropping, feeling sort of stupid asking for directions -- but from the progress he'd made earlier, he figured he'd be wandering around all day at that pace. Pell and Chaka both pointed to the right -- they had been standing RIGHT infront of the place.
Mihawk quickly thanked Pell and Chaka, and ran off into the casino. Mihawk didn't like the casino -- too many fat people. A lot of them were ugly too... Smelled bad...and they had small hands. Mihawk continued on his way to the back of the Casino where there was a sign that read "VIP". He knocked on the door -- well, actually, his fist was ready to knock on the door, but it suddenly flew open and Nico snarled, "YOU FINALLY COME CRAWLING BACK DO YOU?! AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS! I WAITED FOR YOU, AND YOU NEVER SAID A WORD TO ME! I HIT YOU WITH A 2x4 FOR GOD'S SAKE! WE SPENT THAT INCREDIBLE NIGHT TOGETHER AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN OUR SON! I WROTE YOU ALL THOSE LETTERS AND NEVER ONCE DID YOU RESPOND YOU HORRIBLE, AWFUL, DISGRACEFUL MAN!!!!" she screamed, slamming the door. Mihawk stood there, and blinked, eyes wide with both fear and shock, not entirely sure of what the hell was going on. Nico shyly opened the door again, and took Mihawk by the wrist, leading him inside. "Sorry...I thought you the postman.." she muttered. Mihawk, although now a little weirded-out, decided it was a good enough apology.
Nico led Mihawk down to the Baroque Works meeting room, where Crocodile was waiting. "Your new boy-toy is here, sir.." Nico said, a little bitterly. Mihawk walked down the stairs casually. Crocodile stood up and looked at Mihawk, pouting.
"NO! That's NOT him!!" he shouted. Mihawk stopped and blinked. Nico ran down the stairs, thinking Crocodile may have come to his senses.
"What do you mean, sir?" she asked. Crocodile sobbed,
"I THOUGHT HE'D BE NAKED!! LIKE IN THE PICTURE!!!"
Mihawk and Nico both sweatdropped. He KNEW Ben sent that picture (despite his constant denile of it), but he still felt pretty embarrassed about that. "Umm... Should I just leave?" Mihawk asked. Crocodile looked up, recognizing Mihawk's voice.
"I.. I know that voice.." he said, racing over to Mihawk, staring at him. Mihawk stared back. Both men suddenly leapt back, pointing at each other, shouting out happily,
"I REMEMBER YOU!!!"
Both men laughed and hugged each other, Mihawk patting Crocodile on the back. "You were at the Christmas party!" Crocodile said.
"Yeah! And so were you!" Mihawk replied.
"You're the guy who got a lap-dance from Kuma!!" Crocodile said, snorting with laughter. Mihawk scowled,
"A lap-dance is STILL a lap-dance...No matter WHAT is giving it to you...At least I didn't get raped by Doflamingo."
"I've said this to everyone, so I'll say it again. He didn't RAPE me, I was ASLEEP."
"Suuure."
"...Well, I'm disturbed." Nico said, getting very uncomfortable. Mihawk turned and looked at Nico,
"Ah.. yeah, I remember you. You got drunk and made arms grow out of Shanks' chest just to hear him scream like a girl.." he said. Nico flushed slightly from embrassment -- remember that part of the night.
"So, Mihawk, where are we going to go for our first date?! LOOK! I shaved my LEGS!!"
"Sir, can I talk to you over here for a minute?" Nico asked, remembering she meant to have a little "talk" with her boss.
"Hm? Sure... One minute, Mihawk," Crocodile said, walking over to Nico. "What is it Miss All Sunday?"
"This man is completly wrong for you," Nico said, bluntly -- not caring that Mihawk was within earshot.
"How? Explain?" Crocodile asked, sternly.
"He smells like cobbler."
"Now now.. by accusing Mihawk of smelling like cobbler, you're only accusing yourself," Crocodile said, shaking a finger at her.
"What is THAT supposed to mean?!" she asked.
"Give me a new reason."
"He's...not exactally perfect.."
"He may not be perfect, but at least he's SPANISH."
"..That has very little relevance to what we're talking about.."
"Oh Nico, it has LOADS to do with what we're talking about!"
"May.. I cut in for a moment?" Mihawk asked, walking over to them. Nico glared at Mihawk,
"FINE." she hissed bitterly. Mihawk put an arm around Crocodile, looking at Nico,
"Now, I may not be the best man in the world.. But I know ALL the words to Bohemian Rhapsody--"
"Everyone knows the words to that song!" Nico argued.
"Oh forget it.." Mihawk said, "Just let us date in peace!"
"This ain't over.." Nico hissed, the two men walking off.
Crocodile looked to over to Mihawk once they were away from Nico, "Don't mind her..she's going through cocaine withdrawl.." he said. Mihawk nodded,
"I see.."
"So, where are we going on our DATE??" Crocodile asked. Mihawk smirked,
"To the BEST damn place in town..But not until later tonight.. I will pick you up at eight."
~END PART 4~
--A Note From Baka Kitsune---
BWHAHAHA!! It's DONE!! Chapter 4 is DONE! n__n What will happen in part 5? ONLY TIME WILL TELL!! Sorry that this is late -- nobody smacked me with a lutefish. _
Chapter 4: Q-BERT
(title suggested by Doug)
"This was a wonderful idea.." Shanks whispered into Ben's ear. Ben smiled and wrapped his arms around Shanks' naked body; as the two men shared a hot bath together, hidden away below deck. They hadn't really had much time to bathe together since Mihawk had been living with them -- on account they figured that they couldn't leave Mihawk unattended due to inevitable fact he'd kill every single member of the Red-Hair pirates. Mihawk assured them he would be okay as long as non of them pissed him off; so the two men figured they'd be fine. Shanks rested his chest against Ben's; the red-head's lips nearly touching those of the dark-haired man. "Make love me me, Ben.." Shanks whispered, "I want you deep inside me.." he moaned softly as he rubbed his hips against the other man's. "Kiss me.."
The two men leaned in to one and other; thier lips nearly touching, when Mihawk bust into the room and shouted as loud as he could -- "MARBLE TUPLIP JUICY TREE!!!". Both Ben and Shanks jumped to opposite ends of the stared at Mihawk -- angry, confused AND completly weireded out at the same time by Mihawk's outburst. Mihawk clapped his hands together and laughed at the two men. "Oh MAN!! you guys should see the looks on your faces!!" he cried -- he really wasn't acting very Mihawk-y today.
"GET OUT OF HERE!!" Shanks screamed, throwing a bar of soap at Mihawk's head -- missing by no less than a foot. Mihawk sighed and shook his head;
"We're about to dock. We've reached Alabasta. Come on. .. We need to figure out how to get to this.. "Rainy Land" place.. or whatever.." Mihawk said; realizing now he had NO idea where the hell he was. Ben sighed,
"Fine.. we'll be up in a few minutes.." Ben said. Mihawk nodded and left. Shanks pouted,
"But I wanted to have sex.." he whined.
"We will...later." Ben said, leaning over and kissing Shanks on the forehead.
~*~*~*~*~
Mihawk climbed back up to the upper-deck and streched out. "Ahh.. What a nice day.." and suddenly, a bird smucked into his face. "STABBLE STABBLE STABBLE!!!" he shouted, groping for something to stab the bird with. The bird squacked, dropping a letter it was carrying and flew away. Mihawk turned around and shook his fist in the direction the bird had gone, screaming, "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT YOU FREAKIN' OUSEUX!!!
"umm.. Mihawk? There was only one bird.." Yassop said, timidly. Mihawk turned around and glared,
"You better pretend you don't speak French RIGHT now, Jesus Bu.." Mihawk warned.
"My name is Yassop.." Yassop corrected.
"Suure it is CRAIG." Yassop figured it was now time to back off about trying to get Mihawk to say his name right.
"Look! The bird dropped something!"
"Ooh.. We should open it.." Mihawk said, picking up the envelope. "It might be coupons for free General Mills products!"
"Even thier Old El Paso taco sauce?" Yassop gasped,
"ESPECIALLY their Old El Paso taco sauce!"
"Wow.. What an age we live in..." Yassop said in awe. Mihawk opened up the envelope; and found only a letter inside. He quickly read it to himself.
"Hmm..." he said, musing to himself.
"What's a hmm?" Shanks asked; appearing fully-dressed behind Mihawk. Mihawk turned his head to the red-head,
"There's a carriage waiting outside this town to take us to where Crocodile lives.." Mihawk said. Shanks blinked, and Ben walked over to the group,
"How did these people know where you'd be?" he asked -- Ben had super hearing and was able to hear the whole conversation. Mihawk looked up and pointed to the sky.
"Satelites.." he whispered.
"Uh-huh... Yes... Satelites... Riiiiight..." Ben said. Shanks shrugged,
"Well, let's just get to the cart -- Yassop, you and the rest of the crew stay here. We'll be back...at some point.. We'll bring you back something nice" Shanks said, patting Yassop on the head and then batting one of Yassop's dreadlocks.
"Please stop that." Yassop said with a sweatdrop.
"Yes Shanks, listen to Terrance, and let's go" Mihawk said, now impatient.
~*~*~*~*~
Crocodile stood in the bathroom, a leg on the toilet seat, wearing only a pair of boxers that looked as if they'd been made from his yellow-plaid shirt. "When the working day is done; girls - they want to have fun! Oh girls just want to have fun!" he sang, as he sloppily shaved his hairy legs. "Tee hee! I am gonna look so pretty for my date!" he said. Nico sighed from where she sat -- which was on the edge of the bathtub.
"Shave UP you idiot.." she said, an annoyed tone in her voice.
"Huh?" Crocodile said, blinking. He tried shaving in the opposite direction he'd been going in -- realizing it was much easier that way. "Thank you Miss All Sunday! Now I'll be sure to look pretty for my date with Derwood!"
"His name, is Mihawk."
"Yes! Mihawk, of course! Derwood Mihawk!"
"Juraquille.."
"Dracul?"
"Yes, that's an acceptable spelling.."
"..Spelling..?"
"Nevermind..." Nico sighed. "This guy is TOTALLY wrong for you anyways."
"What do you mean?" Crocodile asked; extremely confused.
"Finish shaving and meet me in the meeting room later on... I need to go stalk the postman.." she said, getting up and leaving. Crocodile sighed and shook his head,
"That crack is really getting to her..I should get her into rehab.."
~*~*~*~*~
"Chaka?? Chaka? Where are you?" Pell said impatiently, looking around the palace for the other guard. "Damnit..Where is that damn dog?!"
"I'm right here." Pell turned around and saw Chaka there, carrying an empty can of what was once lilac-purple coloured paint. Pell stared at the remnants of the can and then glared up at the large-nosed man.
"I HOPE that can was used to paint our room and NOT for what I think it was.." he said, bitterly. Chaka whistled innocently and looked away fom Pell,
"I swear I didn' use it to throw at Kohza.."
And with those words, Kohza walked by the two guards with Vivi beside him -- muttering angerly, his hair, face, glasses, coat, scarf and shirt covered with lilac coloured paint. Pell scowled at Chaka, "You are SO dead.. That was OUR special thing..and you go and do it without me.. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THROWING PAINT AT KOHZA!!" he yelled.
"Honey, please, calm down.. You're making a scene.."
"I am NOT making a scene! If I was making, oh-ho-ho-boy you would KNOW I was making a scene!!"
"Well.. Just forgive me and we can get going to the Rain Base.." Chaka sighed
"Fine. Let's go." and with that, the two men headed off to the place where Crocodile's Casino is -- because sometimes we don't know how correct our subtitles are.
~*~*~*~*~
"...That is the first time I have EVER seen a turtle smoking a cigar.." Ben said as he, Shanks and Mihawk got out of the cart. They'd finally arrived at thier destination -- outside a bustling casino town in Alabasta.
"So... this is the place your lover lives, Mihawk?" Shanks asked.
"My possible "lover", yes..I... think.." he said.
"Hey, this place looks great! We should do some shopping Ben-Ben!!" Shanks squeeled, adding quickly, "As long as you don't buy any creepy desert broccoli!!" Ben sighed,
"I won't.."
"Alright, while you guys get groceries, I'll go meet this guy.. Okay?" Mihawk said.
"Sounds fine to me." Ben agreed, "How about you, Shanks?" Ben asked, blinking, looking around for Shanks, "Captain..?"
Shanks had wandered off ahead and was playing on the ground with some children who were playing jacks. "Ooh!! I got TWOSIES!" the red-head cried out gleefully. Ben sighed and shook his head.
"We'll see you later, Mihawk."
Mihawk walked off in a direction that would get him away from Ben and the red-haired man-child with hairy legs known as Shanks. Though he usually had a very good sense of direction on the sea, Mihawk was a moron in towns. He was literally walking in a circle -- but what was truly sad, was he was just walking in the very same spot, in a circular pattern. "Durr... WHERE am I?"
~*~*~*~*~
Pell walked along beside Chaka -- they'd gotten to the Rainy place. Chaka looked over at Pell, "Soooo....Are you ever going to tell me about the guy you had once who was better than me in bed?" he asked, bluntly. Pell stopped and his cheeks flushed a little. It had been a long time since he'd even mentioned that to Chaka -- mentioned about that one-night stand he'd had with a very attractive man with interesting facial hair (after Pell had mentioned that one night several months back, Chaka grew a handle-bar mustache -- everyone in the palace DEMANDED he cut it off after two days). It wasn't a very passionate affair -- in fact, Pell had pretended to be foreign and spoke very strangely the whole time -- but it was one hell of a memortable event. Pell shook his head, clearing it of all memories of the other man.
Pell opened his mouth to speak, but as he did he saw just ahead of him, walking in circles, the man he'd spent that unforgettable night with -- Dracul Mihawk. Pell swallowed hard, and was stuck for words for a moment. Then, an idea struck him -- possibly the most brilliant idea in the history of man-kind.. "Well Pell? Are you?" Chaka asked. Pell turned around and cleared his throat, shouting as loudly as he could, doing everything he possibly could to draw attention to himself --
"CHA-KA!!!! I WANT TO TAAAALK TO YOOOOOU!!!" Pell shouted with a ridiculous accent. "I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE TRRRREEEEEATING ME, CHA-KA!!!! YOU TREAT ME LIKE ANI-MAL!!"
Chaka stared wide-eyed at the shorter man, feeling VERY embarrassed right now -- a crowd was gathering around them. "But.. But you were a desert falcon ten minutes ago!" he tried to argue. Pell was no where near done.
"I AM ALBASTAIN MAN NOW, CHA-KA!! I WANT WHAT IS COMING TO ME!"
"Well..What do you want?!"
"HALF!!!!!" Pell shouted, "HALF CHA-KA!!!" Chaka stared at Pell -- he couldn't believe he was hearing this. He only prayed that Pell was finished.
"Erm...Umm..." Chaka was stuck for words now.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATE-LY?!"
"Umm.. umm.. We make good love?!" Chaka blurted out -- now he was just pulling things out of the air.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.. FOR ME... LATE-LY!?!"
Mihawk came over after hearing the whole thing. He recognized Pell almost insantly. "Pell? Is that you, my funny foreign friend?" he asked. Chaka stared at Mihawk -- noticing the uniue facial hair immidietly. Pell looked to Mihawk,
"OH MIHA-K! I AM ALBASTAIN CITIZEN NOW! IT WONDERFUL! HAVING DI-VORCE WITH CHA-KA!"
"I see, that's nice.I hope it all works out for you and you're unhappy with half his stuff--" Mihawk began, intending on asking Pell how to get to the Casino.
"OH! HAPPY I WILL BE! CHA-KA!! I GET BLENDER."
"Wait just a damn minute--" Chaka said, getting angry. The last thing he wanted was Pell to leave him -- AND take the blender.
"Say, do either of you know how to get to some "Rain Dinners" place? It's..a casino?" Mihawk asked, sweatdropping, feeling sort of stupid asking for directions -- but from the progress he'd made earlier, he figured he'd be wandering around all day at that pace. Pell and Chaka both pointed to the right -- they had been standing RIGHT infront of the place.
Mihawk quickly thanked Pell and Chaka, and ran off into the casino. Mihawk didn't like the casino -- too many fat people. A lot of them were ugly too... Smelled bad...and they had small hands. Mihawk continued on his way to the back of the Casino where there was a sign that read "VIP". He knocked on the door -- well, actually, his fist was ready to knock on the door, but it suddenly flew open and Nico snarled, "YOU FINALLY COME CRAWLING BACK DO YOU?! AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS! I WAITED FOR YOU, AND YOU NEVER SAID A WORD TO ME! I HIT YOU WITH A 2x4 FOR GOD'S SAKE! WE SPENT THAT INCREDIBLE NIGHT TOGETHER AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN OUR SON! I WROTE YOU ALL THOSE LETTERS AND NEVER ONCE DID YOU RESPOND YOU HORRIBLE, AWFUL, DISGRACEFUL MAN!!!!" she screamed, slamming the door. Mihawk stood there, and blinked, eyes wide with both fear and shock, not entirely sure of what the hell was going on. Nico shyly opened the door again, and took Mihawk by the wrist, leading him inside. "Sorry...I thought you the postman.." she muttered. Mihawk, although now a little weirded-out, decided it was a good enough apology.
Nico led Mihawk down to the Baroque Works meeting room, where Crocodile was waiting. "Your new boy-toy is here, sir.." Nico said, a little bitterly. Mihawk walked down the stairs casually. Crocodile stood up and looked at Mihawk, pouting.
"NO! That's NOT him!!" he shouted. Mihawk stopped and blinked. Nico ran down the stairs, thinking Crocodile may have come to his senses.
"What do you mean, sir?" she asked. Crocodile sobbed,
"I THOUGHT HE'D BE NAKED!! LIKE IN THE PICTURE!!!"
Mihawk and Nico both sweatdropped. He KNEW Ben sent that picture (despite his constant denile of it), but he still felt pretty embarrassed about that. "Umm... Should I just leave?" Mihawk asked. Crocodile looked up, recognizing Mihawk's voice.
"I.. I know that voice.." he said, racing over to Mihawk, staring at him. Mihawk stared back. Both men suddenly leapt back, pointing at each other, shouting out happily,
"I REMEMBER YOU!!!"
Both men laughed and hugged each other, Mihawk patting Crocodile on the back. "You were at the Christmas party!" Crocodile said.
"Yeah! And so were you!" Mihawk replied.
"You're the guy who got a lap-dance from Kuma!!" Crocodile said, snorting with laughter. Mihawk scowled,
"A lap-dance is STILL a lap-dance...No matter WHAT is giving it to you...At least I didn't get raped by Doflamingo."
"I've said this to everyone, so I'll say it again. He didn't RAPE me, I was ASLEEP."
"Suuure."
"...Well, I'm disturbed." Nico said, getting very uncomfortable. Mihawk turned and looked at Nico,
"Ah.. yeah, I remember you. You got drunk and made arms grow out of Shanks' chest just to hear him scream like a girl.." he said. Nico flushed slightly from embrassment -- remember that part of the night.
"So, Mihawk, where are we going to go for our first date?! LOOK! I shaved my LEGS!!"
"Sir, can I talk to you over here for a minute?" Nico asked, remembering she meant to have a little "talk" with her boss.
"Hm? Sure... One minute, Mihawk," Crocodile said, walking over to Nico. "What is it Miss All Sunday?"
"This man is completly wrong for you," Nico said, bluntly -- not caring that Mihawk was within earshot.
"How? Explain?" Crocodile asked, sternly.
"He smells like cobbler."
"Now now.. by accusing Mihawk of smelling like cobbler, you're only accusing yourself," Crocodile said, shaking a finger at her.
"What is THAT supposed to mean?!" she asked.
"Give me a new reason."
"He's...not exactally perfect.."
"He may not be perfect, but at least he's SPANISH."
"..That has very little relevance to what we're talking about.."
"Oh Nico, it has LOADS to do with what we're talking about!"
"May.. I cut in for a moment?" Mihawk asked, walking over to them. Nico glared at Mihawk,
"FINE." she hissed bitterly. Mihawk put an arm around Crocodile, looking at Nico,
"Now, I may not be the best man in the world.. But I know ALL the words to Bohemian Rhapsody--"
"Everyone knows the words to that song!" Nico argued.
"Oh forget it.." Mihawk said, "Just let us date in peace!"
"This ain't over.." Nico hissed, the two men walking off.
Crocodile looked to over to Mihawk once they were away from Nico, "Don't mind her..she's going through cocaine withdrawl.." he said. Mihawk nodded,
"I see.."
"So, where are we going on our DATE??" Crocodile asked. Mihawk smirked,
"To the BEST damn place in town..But not until later tonight.. I will pick you up at eight."
~END PART 4~
--A Note From Baka Kitsune---
BWHAHAHA!! It's DONE!! Chapter 4 is DONE! n__n What will happen in part 5? ONLY TIME WILL TELL!! Sorry that this is late -- nobody smacked me with a lutefish. _