THE SECRET FINDINGS OF TAIRA AND KOURAN
Taira: Hello, readers! This is what happens when Kouran and I follow different anime characters around with - yes - A VIDEO CAMERA.
Kouran: Watch out. This may be scary.
(This chapter's anime: Yu-Gi-Oh)
Author's Note: In this fanfic, Yami and Yugi and totally different people. They do NOT both inhabit the same body. And, oh yeah, we don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.
~~~
Yami: ::painting his index finger with rubber cement::
Yugi: ::looks over:: Uh, Yami... What are you DOING?!!
Yami: Uh... ::hides his index finger behind his back:: Nothing! Nothing at all! ::runs out the door::
::Later::
Yami: ::sees a random person on the street:: YOU!
Random Person: Me?
Yami: I challenge you to a DUEL!!!
Random Person: Uh, okay, but, uh, I don't really have any cards...
Yami: Here! Take this random deck that I just happen to be carrying around!!!!
Random Person: Sure...
::During the duel::
Yami: ::puts his index finger on a card and picks it up with his StickyFinger(tm):: Haha! This is the card that will DEFEAT YOU! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! DARK MAGICIAN!!!! ::puts the card down::
Random Person: ::blinks as the rest of his LifePoints get wiped out:: That was fast...
Yami: I AM THE BEST!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ::walks over to Random Person:: Don't be ashamed. You did well. ::Pats him on the shoulder:: ::Tries to take his hand away, but his index finger is sticking to the man:: Um... Uh-oh...
Random Person: ::winces:: I was WONDERING how you picked cards up like that...
Yami: This is only the fifth time I've gotten stuck to someone, I swear!!!
~~~
Kaiba: ::Looks around suspiciously:: ::sees no-one:: ::goes into the bathroom and locks the door:: ::opens a secret drawer that's hidden in some obscure place:: ::takes out a tube of... (drumroll) BLACK LIPSTICK!:: ::starts applying it in the mirror:: Oh yes... Yes, it's beautiful... Yami... I love you, my darling... Don't you love my lipstick, darling?... I thought so... ::keeps talking to the mirror::
Voice: Kaiba, you're on in five!
Kaiba: ::wipes off the lipstick, but keeps the tube:: ::goes out:: ::waits around for a bit:: ::goes in front of lots of cameras:: Do you find that your lips lack a certain... shine? ::takes out his tube of black lipstick and applies it with exaggerated gestures:: Try... LIPSTICK! This wonder product will make even the most plain lips seem beautiful! It comes in all colors... Though black is my recommendation. ::smiles mysteriously at the camera:: Got lipstick?
Voice: And... CUT!
::Later, at Kaiba's house::
Mokuba: ::watching TV:: ::A CERTAIN COMMERCIAL comes on:: Hey, Kaiba! This guy looks like you!!!
Kaiba: ::looks nervous:: Um... he does? ::watches the commercial, embarrassed:: Um, no, that's my friend's cousin's brother's mother's sister's husband's hairdresser's friend's distant relative...
Mokuba: Really? That's interesting. You know, you have some black on your upper lip...
Kaiba: ::laughs nervously:: Do I? It must be from that, um, licorice I ate earlier today!
::Phone rings::
Kaiba: ::picks it up:: Hello?
Yami's Voice: ::sniffles:: Kaiba, I thought you only wore that lipstick for meeeeeeee!
Mokuba: ::listening in on the other phone:: ::eyes widen:: EWWWWWWWW!!!! ::looks over at Kaiba in horror:: I don't know him, I DON'T know him!
~~~
::Anzu, Jonouchi, Honda, and Yugi and walking along::
Anzu: Ew, what is that awful smell?
Jonouchi: I don't know! Yugi, you smell that?
Yugi: ::sniffs at the air:: Um... I don't smell anything... Wait a second!!!! ::feels his face:: I don't have a NOSE!!!
Anzu: ::gasp:: Wow! For all this time, we've never even noticed!!
Yugi: Yeah, weird, huh?
~~~
Anzu: ::opens the door to Yami's/Yugi's room:: Hey, Yu - Oh! ::sees Kaiba and Yami inside:: Er, maybe I should just... leave you two alone... ::backs out and runs away::
Yami: ::calls after her:: Wait, get a priest so we can be married while you're out there!
Kaiba: ::happily puts on his black lipstick:: Oh, Yami, you look so... pretty...
Yami: ::wearing pink lipstick and is in a dress:: Why, thank you... You don't look so bad yourself, Kaiba sweetie...
Kaiba: Here, to seal the engagement... ::hands Yami a diamond ring:: For you, my love!
Yami: ::eyes shine:: Oh, wow! It's so sparkly!
Yugi: ::walks in, because, after all, it's his room too:: Hey, Yami - Oh, wow. ::stares:: I didn't need to see that. I am INNOCENT!
Yami: Oh, Yugi, you silly boy! Kaiba and I are going to be MARRIED!
Yugi: ::stares:: Oh dear. No, Yami! You mustn't! You're under mind control or... something... Marik, you'll PAY for this!!!!
Marik's voice: Darn, I was having fun!
Yami: ::suddenly wakes up:: Um, what am I doing in a dress? ::touches his lips:: Am I wearing lipstick?!! And a diamond ring?!! Where'd that come from? ...MARIK!!!!
Kaiba: ::eyes start to fill with tears:: NOOOOO! MY LOVE!!!!
Yami: ::stares:: AHHHHHHHH!!! ::runs away::
Yugi: Well. That was... frightening.
Anzu: ::whispers:: Did they get married yet? Oh no! Divorce them, quick!!!
Yugi: No, it's okay, they split up... Kaiba, how did you get in, anyway?
Kaiba: ::sniffles:: ::points to a ladder of sheets hanging out the window::
Yugi: Okay, um, would you please leave?
Kaiba: ::wipes away a tear and does so::
Yugi: Thank goodness THAT'S over with.
Yami: ::comes back in, looking normal again:: ::mutters to himself:: A dress... I was wearing a DRESS! I will kill him... I will KILL him...
Jonouchi: ::comes out with a video camera:: Woo! Blackmail!
Yami: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
~~~
THE END (of this anime!)
~~~
For a picture of Yami's StickyFinger(tm) go to http://spiritofwolf.0catch.com/YAMI::S%20FINGER.JPG and look closely at his hand.
For a picture of Kaiba's Black Lipstick, go to http://spiritofwolf.0catch.com/BLACK%20LIPSTICK!%20OH-NO!.JPG and check out his mouth! In the original picture it looked even more like lipstick...
For a picture of Yugi's lack of nose, go to http://spiritofwolf.0catch.com/YUGI-S%20NOSE%20OH-NO!.JPG and, well, just LOOK! He - has - no - nose! This is only one of many, many pictures of Yugi without a nose.
Taira: Hello, readers! This is what happens when Kouran and I follow different anime characters around with - yes - A VIDEO CAMERA.
Kouran: Watch out. This may be scary.
(This chapter's anime: Yu-Gi-Oh)
Author's Note: In this fanfic, Yami and Yugi and totally different people. They do NOT both inhabit the same body. And, oh yeah, we don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.
~~~
Yami: ::painting his index finger with rubber cement::
Yugi: ::looks over:: Uh, Yami... What are you DOING?!!
Yami: Uh... ::hides his index finger behind his back:: Nothing! Nothing at all! ::runs out the door::
::Later::
Yami: ::sees a random person on the street:: YOU!
Random Person: Me?
Yami: I challenge you to a DUEL!!!
Random Person: Uh, okay, but, uh, I don't really have any cards...
Yami: Here! Take this random deck that I just happen to be carrying around!!!!
Random Person: Sure...
::During the duel::
Yami: ::puts his index finger on a card and picks it up with his StickyFinger(tm):: Haha! This is the card that will DEFEAT YOU! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! DARK MAGICIAN!!!! ::puts the card down::
Random Person: ::blinks as the rest of his LifePoints get wiped out:: That was fast...
Yami: I AM THE BEST!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ::walks over to Random Person:: Don't be ashamed. You did well. ::Pats him on the shoulder:: ::Tries to take his hand away, but his index finger is sticking to the man:: Um... Uh-oh...
Random Person: ::winces:: I was WONDERING how you picked cards up like that...
Yami: This is only the fifth time I've gotten stuck to someone, I swear!!!
~~~
Kaiba: ::Looks around suspiciously:: ::sees no-one:: ::goes into the bathroom and locks the door:: ::opens a secret drawer that's hidden in some obscure place:: ::takes out a tube of... (drumroll) BLACK LIPSTICK!:: ::starts applying it in the mirror:: Oh yes... Yes, it's beautiful... Yami... I love you, my darling... Don't you love my lipstick, darling?... I thought so... ::keeps talking to the mirror::
Voice: Kaiba, you're on in five!
Kaiba: ::wipes off the lipstick, but keeps the tube:: ::goes out:: ::waits around for a bit:: ::goes in front of lots of cameras:: Do you find that your lips lack a certain... shine? ::takes out his tube of black lipstick and applies it with exaggerated gestures:: Try... LIPSTICK! This wonder product will make even the most plain lips seem beautiful! It comes in all colors... Though black is my recommendation. ::smiles mysteriously at the camera:: Got lipstick?
Voice: And... CUT!
::Later, at Kaiba's house::
Mokuba: ::watching TV:: ::A CERTAIN COMMERCIAL comes on:: Hey, Kaiba! This guy looks like you!!!
Kaiba: ::looks nervous:: Um... he does? ::watches the commercial, embarrassed:: Um, no, that's my friend's cousin's brother's mother's sister's husband's hairdresser's friend's distant relative...
Mokuba: Really? That's interesting. You know, you have some black on your upper lip...
Kaiba: ::laughs nervously:: Do I? It must be from that, um, licorice I ate earlier today!
::Phone rings::
Kaiba: ::picks it up:: Hello?
Yami's Voice: ::sniffles:: Kaiba, I thought you only wore that lipstick for meeeeeeee!
Mokuba: ::listening in on the other phone:: ::eyes widen:: EWWWWWWWW!!!! ::looks over at Kaiba in horror:: I don't know him, I DON'T know him!
~~~
::Anzu, Jonouchi, Honda, and Yugi and walking along::
Anzu: Ew, what is that awful smell?
Jonouchi: I don't know! Yugi, you smell that?
Yugi: ::sniffs at the air:: Um... I don't smell anything... Wait a second!!!! ::feels his face:: I don't have a NOSE!!!
Anzu: ::gasp:: Wow! For all this time, we've never even noticed!!
Yugi: Yeah, weird, huh?
~~~
Anzu: ::opens the door to Yami's/Yugi's room:: Hey, Yu - Oh! ::sees Kaiba and Yami inside:: Er, maybe I should just... leave you two alone... ::backs out and runs away::
Yami: ::calls after her:: Wait, get a priest so we can be married while you're out there!
Kaiba: ::happily puts on his black lipstick:: Oh, Yami, you look so... pretty...
Yami: ::wearing pink lipstick and is in a dress:: Why, thank you... You don't look so bad yourself, Kaiba sweetie...
Kaiba: Here, to seal the engagement... ::hands Yami a diamond ring:: For you, my love!
Yami: ::eyes shine:: Oh, wow! It's so sparkly!
Yugi: ::walks in, because, after all, it's his room too:: Hey, Yami - Oh, wow. ::stares:: I didn't need to see that. I am INNOCENT!
Yami: Oh, Yugi, you silly boy! Kaiba and I are going to be MARRIED!
Yugi: ::stares:: Oh dear. No, Yami! You mustn't! You're under mind control or... something... Marik, you'll PAY for this!!!!
Marik's voice: Darn, I was having fun!
Yami: ::suddenly wakes up:: Um, what am I doing in a dress? ::touches his lips:: Am I wearing lipstick?!! And a diamond ring?!! Where'd that come from? ...MARIK!!!!
Kaiba: ::eyes start to fill with tears:: NOOOOO! MY LOVE!!!!
Yami: ::stares:: AHHHHHHHH!!! ::runs away::
Yugi: Well. That was... frightening.
Anzu: ::whispers:: Did they get married yet? Oh no! Divorce them, quick!!!
Yugi: No, it's okay, they split up... Kaiba, how did you get in, anyway?
Kaiba: ::sniffles:: ::points to a ladder of sheets hanging out the window::
Yugi: Okay, um, would you please leave?
Kaiba: ::wipes away a tear and does so::
Yugi: Thank goodness THAT'S over with.
Yami: ::comes back in, looking normal again:: ::mutters to himself:: A dress... I was wearing a DRESS! I will kill him... I will KILL him...
Jonouchi: ::comes out with a video camera:: Woo! Blackmail!
Yami: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
~~~
THE END (of this anime!)
~~~
For a picture of Yami's StickyFinger(tm) go to http://spiritofwolf.0catch.com/YAMI::S%20FINGER.JPG and look closely at his hand.
For a picture of Kaiba's Black Lipstick, go to http://spiritofwolf.0catch.com/BLACK%20LIPSTICK!%20OH-NO!.JPG and check out his mouth! In the original picture it looked even more like lipstick...
For a picture of Yugi's lack of nose, go to http://spiritofwolf.0catch.com/YUGI-S%20NOSE%20OH-NO!.JPG and, well, just LOOK! He - has - no - nose! This is only one of many, many pictures of Yugi without a nose.