Title: So Wrong
Author: Dani
Rating: PG-13
Summary: We start off in "Keg! Max!", at the most dreaded scene of the season. The scene that left us wondering, will they fix it, and then had us cursing and complaining about how they could have worked it out. Well, I'm working it out, or at least, trying. brbr
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or Gilmore girls. I don't have rights to "Keg! Max!", only the right to speak my mind. brbr
Chapter 1 – "Lock! Jess!"
Rory had been walking around. Wandering actually. She was wandering looking for something to do. Someone that needed her attention. She hated the feeling of not being needed. She hated having nobody to talk to. She was just, there. She always had somebody or something pulling at her. Whether it was Paris, her mom, Lane, or Jess. Well Paris wasn't there to give her a project, her mom wasn't there to lecture her, and Lane was busy with the band. But Jess. She didn't know where he took off. He needed her, and she needed him.
Rory didn't really want to come to this party; she never really had been a 'party girl'. Heck, the last party she had been to was a birthday party of an old friend from Stars Hollow High. She missed having that group of friends. After she left Stars Hollow High for Chilton, they were gone forever.
Lately, the only people she'd had were the ones who pulled at her. The reason she had come here was to get away, but now she felt like she needed to do something. Anything. She was going to look for Jess.
She walked towards the stairs. There was Dean, with Lindsay. It hurt her that he didn't need her anymore. He had found a new girl to play with. Rory felt like an old rag doll. She sat on the shelf while Dean played with his new Barbie Doll. She walked right passed them.
While walking through the upstairs hallway, she looked at pictures of a family. A dad, a mom, a sister, and two brothers. A complete set. She had never had the complete set. She was missing pieces of the collection, which made the value go down. Nobody wanted a set with missing pieces. Sometimes, not even her.
When she opened a random door, there was Jess. Alone, just like she had been. He looked up, startled, and Rory felt like she was disturbing him. He was at least doing something, thinking, in deep thought.
It was one of the things that she loved about him. The way you couldn't read him, but you knew he was thinking. It was something about the way his eyes studied everything around him. And when you stared into them, you could agree with everything he said. They were mesmerizing.
"There you are." she said. "I've been looking all over for you."
"Just got tired of everything down there." he said as he looked up into Rory's eyes. In that moment, every thought and doubt Rory had had about her life disappeared. It was the spell, the complete spell she had been under since the day Rory saw Jess.
She closed the door.
"Are we allowed to be up here? I mean, Kyle was kind of discouraging it." She really didn't care all that much. In fact, it made it seem more risky, more dangerous. She loved it. It was the feeling that Jess always gave her, but recently, had been lacking.
"When you have a party, you get what you get." He had been hiding from her, and he regretted it now. He hadn't known how to tell her they couldn't go to prom. She had wanted to go so badly, even showed him a catalogue of dresses and asked him which one he liked. She'd even made him want to go; she made it sound like the circus. To him it was a circus. People dressing in the most expensive outfits only to wear them for one night, but he had already bought a tux. Not only couldn't they go to the prom, but he was getting kicked out of Luke's apartment. He couldn't tell her what was going to happen until he made a decision.
"Yeah, I guess." He sounded broken. She wanted to fix him. She put her hand on his face. "Sad boy, what's wrong? You were looking forward to this party, what happened?"
"Nothing." He really hadn't been looking forward to it. He had been looking forward to being with her, alone, for once. Maybe this was his chance. He looked at her. She was beautiful, in fact, she was always beautiful, but somewhere inside himself he knew, he could never have her.
"Something did. Come on, tell me." She knew he was hiding something from her, and she wanted to fix it. To make it all better.
If he told her now, he would ruin their only time alone. They'd fight, and he really didn't want to deal with that right now. He kissed her. Maybe it would make him stop thinking, and her stop talking.
"You're not tired of me, are you?" He kissed her again.
"That's a pretty good answer." Three times makes perfect.
They rested their heads against each other. It was quiet. For once, doing nothing felt faultless. They kissed again, this time longer, and both Rory and Jess stepped simultaneously towards the bed.
She tried to keep her balance, not to ruin the kiss. She put one hand on the bed, and the other around Jess's back.
Jess laid her gently on the bed, trying so hard not to ruin the moment. But he wondered if she'd come to her senses, or if she really wanted this.
As he moved higher over her, Rory wanted nothing else. Nobody was disturbing them, and they continued to kiss. They both moved up higher onto the bed.
As he broke the kiss, Rory started thinking about somebody walking in on them. She wanted him to lock the door.
"Jess, wait." Jess couldn't stop, he was so wrapped in the moment, and it was too good to be true. Of course she'd be scared. So far kissing had been working, he'd just have to keep trying.
"Jess…" He covered her lips right as she was about to say, 'the door.' All she could get out was 'Nnn.'
Now his hands were undoing her jeans. He couldn't get them, so he just kept kissing her. He had to go slow anyway.
"Jess." This time it was more needing. She started to have doubts. This wasn't the right place. They needed to go somewhere more private. Even if she had locked the door, it wasn't their house; somebody could unlock it, and then find them. The whole town would be talking about it. She wanted to be able for once not to have people talking about her, about them. She pushed him away and got off the bed.
"Jeez." He knew it was coming. How could he have been so stupid?
"Not here, not now." She hated the way that sounded. So ordinary. She meant, 'Somewhere else, later.'
"Fine." It came out for sarcastic than he wanted it to be, he was just fed up. He was bored. He felt like he was just 'a boyfriend', not 'the boyfriend'. He didn't want to be Dean.
"What's wrong with you?" What's wrong with me?
"Nothing is wrong with me." I just wanted to be with you.
"Someone could've walked in that door."
"And Santa Claus could come down the chimney." What am I doing? He started this, he came on to her, of course she would be mad, if only she had given in. "Whatever."
"You did not think that it was going to happen like this, did you?"
"I don't know what I think anymore."
"Jess." I was just trying to save us from pain.
"Rory, stop, just stop! I did not invite you up here, you came up here on your own!" How can I be blaming her?
Rory started to cry. I was just trying to make this right. "I don't know what I did."
"You didn't do anything, Rory." But she had already walked out. Damnit.