~Li-yingfa1
Chapter 2: Let it be . . .
I wanted to know you
Before you started to fade
But I gave everything to
A lie and a farce and a fake
~But I never meant to fade - away
I never meant to fade
I did tried to breathe . . .
~*~
And it was so hard for me let go of her hands at that instant. Now I found her on the ground without the sound of her breath, pale, cold and still. How far should I explain? My mind isn't processing anything. Soon I'll even forget how to breathe and it was just a matter of time I'll be there also . . . on the ground, like a flower on a vase, splattered, broken and wasted.
And it seems just like moments ago were she had stated he is out of her world. But here he is, still clinging on to her begging for her soul to hold on and wait a little longer. He might be out of her life, but she's still clearly and safely on his heart.
~*~
A petal falls
From a black rose
Rippling the reflection
In the water
Memories fading
Like voices of a distant star
The sound was irritating, funny there wasn't really anything to be heard just the loud voices of pounding hearts. Their eyes close or not, you could feel them sigh, feel their anxiety, their eagerness, their questions.
Her father, her brother, her friends, even her mother that is no longer a resident of this world was there and of course her lover too awaited in silence that you could accustomed to peace but it was the opposite and there isn't anything but the hue and cry in their minds and hearts.
"What really happen?" her soft melodic voice interrupted the long silence between these people. "I don't know—I really don't know . . ." his icy voice makes her cringe a little but still stood there quietly aware of the other man's anger.
"You're telling us you don't know!? The nerve of you to say that you---BRAT!" Touya has reached the man's boiling point and rise from his seat. "I already said that I don't know so don't you scream on my face like that." He replied back as calm as he could.
Silence. The deafening sound of silence that seems to last forever. Until the door flung opened with the composed face of the doctor. "She didn't lose too many blood and I think she's going to be fine soon enough after a day rest or so. Nothing to worry about." He cleaned his glasses and stared at the faces that slowly gaining their normal composure. "But I still wonder why she get that injury." They looked at him with the same confuse eyes and turn their heads down. "I guess all of you doesn't know too. I guess we will after she wake up." He smiled at them and waited for another silence.
"Do you mean she has no major injury or something?" Fujitaka inquired over his calm but still unsure face. "I haven't seen anything wrong with her actually just some wounds. You might as well visit her if you want to." He smiled and led them inside.
There she was on the bed her breath was like a humming of a child. Together with the echoes of machines in the room, she looks perfectly well yet something is still amiss.
And it didn't took them long to see her eyes open. Her bright green eyes seem empty, remorseful, and searching, searching for what? For a light?, for a thing? --- for herself?
"How are you feeling Sakura?" her father asked sitting beside her. And then silence. "Hey! Kaiju! Father is asking you! Don't you know how worried we were?" Touya neared her and glared.
"Who?" she blurted as she holds on the white sheets tightly. They all look at each other except for Syaoran. "Sakura please stop acting like that! What happened?" Tomoyo exclaimed looking at her best friend. "This isn't something to joke about Sakura. Come on what's wrong with you? You got as all worried!" Touya questioned looking at his sister.
"Stop asking me questions that I don't know either! I don't know what happened and I don't know you all, and I don't know me." They went silent again and world tearing apart. "How come? How come everything's blurred?" she cried on her palms. "Would you all please—leave us alone?" his voice was cold and firm. The doctor signaled them to leave and so they did quietly even Touya's resistance to do so.
~*~
He sits there beside her as she weeps helplessly. "Sakura--" he started holding her hands putting it down. He sees her face tainted with tears. "Probably that is my name—Sakura." She gazes at him and he did gaze back too. "Who are you then?" And her voice sounds so distant to his ears. He was in a loss of words. Should he take this chance to get her back? "Who am I to you? —Sakura, who am I to you?"
I didn't know what to say, your fiancé? But then that would be a lie. A friend?---Is that all am I to her now? "Sakura . . . who am I too?" If I told her that we were engage maybe, then maybe I should get this chance but--- I don't want to live in another lie. Sakura I've been living a lie long before and I didn't want to live in a world of fake again. I wouldn't give in again.
All of his questions drifted to her mind. Like a sudden collision that makes her speechless. "I've felt something like a clow card is behind all of this" he changes the topic so suddenly. He narrowed his eyes not looking at her. "You did remember about the cards do you?" she nodded slowly "At least that part I remember. But tell me please—who are you? How are we related?" she reached for his hands and holds it closely to her.
"Maybe it's better if we just stop what causing this to you so that you could answer your questions for yourself." He stated coldly standing up. And it seems like a part of them gets ripped off the moment they lose contact. "Just pretend you remember already, they shouldn't know about the new magic-business."
~*~
Outside, the doctor kept on convincing all of them that it was just trauma that causes the patients sudden and not to mention mysterious loss of memory. He cleaned his glasses again and sighed. What a weird case, weird people, weird—weird—just plain weird.
Syaoran came out of the room with a fixed and steady face. His eyes wanders off to someplace. "I think she's okay now. We might as well take her out of here." The doctor looked at him, puzzled and disagreeing. "The patient needs rest and we need to examine her more. Sorry but you can't take her home today"
"How about tomorrow?" he inquired. "Probably yes. Is that all right Mr. Kinomoto?" he turned his attention to him. "I guess so, if it would be okay. She does hate hospitals."
"It's settled then. Tomorrow you could pick her up by noon." The doctor confirmed sighing, what's with this people anyway?
~*~
Where have I gone wrong Sakura? What really happened to you? Sakura . . . give me a sign, anything just tell me the reason why? ---All of a sudden . . . it turned out like this.
---I really wanted to know how this happened. I would like to know you well this time around, specially now that we are older than before we fell in love. I wanted to know the reason why you gave up so suddenly. Before you faded in your own world. But I have just let myself go down so low to not even reach out for you to know the reason—before you've started to fade away. And I gave up myself to fall under the deep iron grave that used to cover my heart.
But maybe my dreams are true. We're both not destined to be after all it didn't seem to work for the both of us the first time around. Maybe we just have to --- let it be . . . for the good.
Yes, it is—for the good. For the good. For the good. For the good. Of both of us. What a lame excuse. No matter how many times he repeated that chant he could never escape from the fact he was just lying to himself.
~*~
She looked far away seeing the night sky isn't filled with shimmering bright stars as if they were all afraid to go out from their black blanket. "It's something similar to clow cards, but this one is different. It felt something dark, eerie and evil."
"I know. That's why I came here, we need to capture it sooner before it gets too much stronger."
"But how could I defeat the enemy if I don't even know myself? I don't even know if the cards would still follow me."
"You don't need your memory to control the cards, you are their mistress after all." His eyes were covered with his thick brown bangs swaying with the cool night air on the field. The tension never leaves in the air around them.
"And I don't need my memory to love you" she quickly covered her mouth and gaze far away. "Did you say something?" he asked turning his attention to Sakura. Playing deaf again, why does people act this way? Covering their selves to hide from the truth and at the same time hurting themselves.
"H-how come we go to this place? I really don't feel anything strange here." She promptly said to halt the rising tension between them.
"This is were I saw you lying on the ground helplessly." He narrowed his eyes as he felt the incoming aura. "Get ready 'it's' coming"
Key that uses the power of stars
Appear before me in your true form
I, Sakura, the one with contract with you command it
RELEASE!
Her key stretched into a wand as like before. She peered to Syaoran for assistance to what she'll do and sees him saying to stay behind.
"I'm glad you came Card mistress. Are you having a hard time already? This is just the start, now show me your powers." They both looked at the shadowed man as it makes it way towards them. "I'm just giving you a test for now. I'll be easy for you this time." He added starting to vanish in thin air.
"Stay back Sakura" was the last thing Syaoran said before he saw her falling down. Swiftly he had scooped her frail body before she had landed.
~*~
"I hate you oni-chan! I hate you!" she cried banging her chubby little hands against his brother who just stood there motionlessly.
"You lied to me! You told me 'ka-san is here but I can't see her! Liar! Liar!" she continued to wail and her brother looked down at her. His dark brown eyes shines differently as it fix on her green ones.
"Why couldn't I see oka-san? Otou-san always tells me that I'm a good girl and you said that if I'm a good girl I could see 'ka-san that I could go to heaven with her . . ." her sobs were loud and her eyes were all puffy and red. "You lied to me. I can't see her. Me not good girl?" She continued banging her hands on his legs.
"Don't cry Sakura, I miss mother as well but you need to understand mother is up there already, she doesn't belong here anymore but she'll always watch over us, so don't cry. I remembered back then when you were three, mother died but you didn't cried like this. I guess you have kept it in yourself for a long time. I know you miss her badly."
"But you could see her and talk to her! Why can't I do that too? Does mommy hate me? My friends at school has their own mommy with them, when its raining their mothers will come and comfort them until they got home." She sobbed more hardly and it pained little Touya to see his sister like this.
"Is big brother not good enough for you? I always pick you up also even when it's not raining. I packed lunch for you too."
"But I want mommy not 'ni-chan! 'cause oni-chan's a liar!"
"But I'm here Sakura, with mother watching us on heaven."
"Then just tell me how could I see her?"
"When you close your eyes and clear your mind, feel the glow inside you and release all the pain. Relax and you'll feel her warm shine on you. You'll regain a power that's within you." She did exactly what little Touya said. But after awhile she opens her eyes tears flowing again.
"I can't see her still! Liar!"
"You have to be patient Sakura."
"But I can't see her! I really hated you! I hate you! I hate you!" she continued to cry and tightened her grip on Touya's pants.
"I know Sakura-chan is strong, right? Sakura-chan is a good and strong girl." For a moment she blinked her eyes to see her brother's eyes clearly. Vaguely but surely she knows that a teardrop fall from his dark brown eyes.
"I'm sorry Sakura, I'm not a good big brother." Her lips quivered and throw herself to him. And he hugged her back letting his tears fall down.
I remember, that was the very first time my brother said sorry to me, and also the last. But frankly speaking I should be the one to say those words. I think I'm starting to remember now.
~^~
"When you close your eyes and clear your mind, feel the glow inside you and release all the pain. Relax and you'll feel her warm shine on you. You'll regain a power that's within you."
"Sakura wake up!" her eyes fluttered open. There were the vague images first until it gets clearer. She stood up wobbly and came face two men—wearing almost the same amber eyes. Syaoran, and the other man were wearing a black mask that covers half of his face.
"Took you long enough to wake up. Now could you free yourself from the spell?"
She gripped her wand firmly and positioned it and has breathed deeply thinking of a new incantation. While the mysterious shadow man only smirked at them just watching without even interrupting. "This is just a test anyway"
"Dark one, come to me in a new form
under the name of SAKURA!"
She saw something drifting in the air and caught it with her hands. It was a new card. The Memory. There was a child on it with fade outlines. "A new card?"
"This is just the start Akina, or should I say—Sakura? Ha! Consider this as a test but remember this both of you. It's hard to go against fate and I tell you they could be harsh, even the most unexpected person could be your enemy." The smirk on his face was still shown over. Afterwards a cold gust of wind blew and he disappeared.
"First mission solved! Now let's get you back to the hospital." He said pulling Sakura with him. But her legs suddenly wobbled and she almost fell on the ground but Syaoran just came in time to catch her.
They walk quietly the whole night and when they reached there Sakura was fast asleep as Syaoran carrying her of course.
He laid her gently on the bed and smiled a wistful smile. He already memorized every part of her face. Did know her too well too. He was now strong enough to protect her; truthfully he's much stronger than her than before. But he didn't know quite well if he could really stand a chance with the enemy, while fighting at her side, when they were like this in the awkward relationship . . .
~*~
"HOOEEE!!!!! I'm late already!!!" came the usual scream from the Kinomoto household. "It's first day of classes and I'm already late! AHHH!!" her footsteps came like thunder rushing down the stairs. She grabs a sandwich at the table and ran towards the door.
"Bye 'tou-san, 'ni-chan!" she rushed out of the door with great skill and agility of avoiding passerby to reach the goal. Then BANG!
"I-m so sorry!" she looked up to see who she had bumped into and saw a man with deep ruby eyes and black unruly hair, he looked quite older than her for about 4-5 years. "It's okay" he led his hand to help her up and she accepted, they stayed there for another seconds not realizing the passing time.
I never meant to fade away from each other's worlds I never meant to fade. I did tried to breathe. Each seconds passing by seems forever. And I don't think I could hold on. Maybe we just have to let it be----
~*~
A.N. : finally finished this up. Sorry if this chapter is not well made. I don't exactly know what I'm doing but the story is just starting so . . . give me a chance after I finished with some intro then it'll go tralala--- I'm hoping this would be successful! Don't forget to review! Please if you're reading this you leave a review or email me. It made me slower to update when I had only few reviews. So please do read my other stories too and review them together with this.!