The Story of Job
Narrator : Once upon a time, in the land of Uz, there was a man called
Job. He was perfect in every way, praised god, and eschewed evil. He
had 7 sons and 3 daughters. Every day, he sacrificed animals, in case
his children had sinned.
One day, Satan came to God.
God: Where are you from?
Satan: I thought that you had that omniscient thing going on. I've
been walking around the Earth.
God: Look at my servant Job. He's perfect in every way.
Satan: He only likes you because you give him stuff.
God: No he doesn't. I'll prove it. Let's play a little game. Go and
ruin him, but don't lay a finger on Job.
Satan: Okey Dokey.
Narrator: And so God allowed Satan to ruin Job. He made Barbarians
come and slaughter Job's livestock.
Barbarians slaughter livestock
Narrator: He sent down fire to burn his sheep and servants.
Fire coming from sky, burning sheep and servants
Narrator: He made Barbarians carry off his sheep and kill more of
Job's servants
Barbarians carry off sheep and kill servants
Narrator: And he blew down Job's house, which collapsed and killed his
family.
The house collapses
Job: Oh well, I still love God.
God: See, I told you so.
Satan: I bet that he wouldn't love you if you messed with his body.
God: Oh yeah? Go and mess with his body all you want, just don't kill
him.
Satan: Okey Dokey.
Narrator: And so, God allowed Satan to strike Job with boils all over
his body.
Job's Wife: I hate god.
Job: You're talking like a retard. We should let God both give us
stuff, and mess up our lives.
Narrator: And then Job's three friends came, Eliphaz the Temanite, and
Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. And they sat down with
him for seven days.
Job: I wish I was never born.
Eliphaz: Why is god doing this to you?
Job: Because sometimes a Porcupine's quills must flutter through the
air.
Narrator: And the conversation went on all night in this manner. And
then, God came to Job.
God: Ha ha! What a laugh! Me and Satan were just playing a little game
with you. But it's still all right. After all, I made the bulls, and
you can't catch a crocodile with a fishing hook.
Job: Ah, I see.
God(To Satan): I told you so!
Narrator: And so God was done screwing with Job, but he gave him some
money to rebuild his estate, and a better set of kids and a better
wife. So everything was good.
Narrator : Once upon a time, in the land of Uz, there was a man called
Job. He was perfect in every way, praised god, and eschewed evil. He
had 7 sons and 3 daughters. Every day, he sacrificed animals, in case
his children had sinned.
One day, Satan came to God.
God: Where are you from?
Satan: I thought that you had that omniscient thing going on. I've
been walking around the Earth.
God: Look at my servant Job. He's perfect in every way.
Satan: He only likes you because you give him stuff.
God: No he doesn't. I'll prove it. Let's play a little game. Go and
ruin him, but don't lay a finger on Job.
Satan: Okey Dokey.
Narrator: And so God allowed Satan to ruin Job. He made Barbarians
come and slaughter Job's livestock.
Barbarians slaughter livestock
Narrator: He sent down fire to burn his sheep and servants.
Fire coming from sky, burning sheep and servants
Narrator: He made Barbarians carry off his sheep and kill more of
Job's servants
Barbarians carry off sheep and kill servants
Narrator: And he blew down Job's house, which collapsed and killed his
family.
The house collapses
Job: Oh well, I still love God.
God: See, I told you so.
Satan: I bet that he wouldn't love you if you messed with his body.
God: Oh yeah? Go and mess with his body all you want, just don't kill
him.
Satan: Okey Dokey.
Narrator: And so, God allowed Satan to strike Job with boils all over
his body.
Job's Wife: I hate god.
Job: You're talking like a retard. We should let God both give us
stuff, and mess up our lives.
Narrator: And then Job's three friends came, Eliphaz the Temanite, and
Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. And they sat down with
him for seven days.
Job: I wish I was never born.
Eliphaz: Why is god doing this to you?
Job: Because sometimes a Porcupine's quills must flutter through the
air.
Narrator: And the conversation went on all night in this manner. And
then, God came to Job.
God: Ha ha! What a laugh! Me and Satan were just playing a little game
with you. But it's still all right. After all, I made the bulls, and
you can't catch a crocodile with a fishing hook.
Job: Ah, I see.
God(To Satan): I told you so!
Narrator: And so God was done screwing with Job, but he gave him some
money to rebuild his estate, and a better set of kids and a better
wife. So everything was good.