The problem with being cavalier, Tegan realized, was that eventually you had to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. There was, it seemed, a rather large difference between her thinking she could shower with the Doctor and not be bothered, and actually doing it. And unfortunately, unless she wanted to condemn them to a captivity filled with cold showers or going dirty, she had to do it.
Stay calm, Tegan, she ordered herself as the Doctor pulled his shirt off. Everything's fine, no need to worry, you've seen your share of naked men before...
She blinked and discovered that during her blink he'd taken off the pants as well.
O no, oh, no, I can't do this, I can't I can't I can't....
"Tegan?"
She opened her eyes... when had she closed them? And saw him-no, don't look there, or there, or bloody hell definitely not there! Front and center Tegan old girl, front and center, he has eyes look into his eyes O Gods those eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue I've ever seen-looking at her in puzzlement.
"Are you all right?"
"Fine!" she almost shouted. "Never better."
He tilted his head. "Then why are you nearly shouting, and why are you trying so hard not to look at me?"
"Well, erm... cripes, Doc! You're naked!"
"I'm glad you noticed."
She froze. What the hell did THAT mean?!
"Tegan, we have to be naked to take a shower."
She nodded vigorously. "Yes, I do realize that..."
"Are you in pain?" he asked, concerned. "Do you need me to help you undress?"
"What? NO!" Her words came out more forcefully than she'd intended and she sighed. "I'm sorry, Doctor. It's just... it's a little harder than I thought it was going to be."
"Really, Tegan, it's not like I have full control over it. I mean, after all... oh," he gulped. "You're talking about us taking a shower."
She laughed so hard her eyes stung with the tears. "You crazy thing! You thought I was talking about your Johnson!" she howled.
"Really, Tegan," he murmured.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said, wiping her eyes. As she spoke she stripped off her clothes, thinking as she removed her shirt that he'd have his back to her by now. When she was done and looked up her breath caught.
The Doctor was looking at her-all of her, it seemed-with those dark unreadable eyes. After a moment of standing there with him staring she couldn't take it any more. "Well? Aren't you going to poke fun at me starkers?"
"I don't see anything to laugh at," he said simply.
He turned and twisted the water on, leaving her to puzzle over what he'd said. When he was done he turned back and gave her his hand. "In we go, then. Time is an illusion, but hot water doubly so."
She took his outstretched hand and let him pull her into the shower with him.
Once fully in, she moved towards the back and closed her eyes. "Go ahead, you didn't get a proper shower this afternoon."
"All right." She could hear him washing himself. It would all be fine, she thought fiercely. She'd keep her eyes closed until he was done, then they'd move around each other so she could shower...
Except how were they going to move around each other without looking at each other? Or get out of the shower? Is that what they were going to do for the rest of their imprisonment, however long that would be? Try to shower with their eyes shut?
"Bloody hell!" She growled, opening her eyes.
He turned in confusion and mild alarm at her tone. "Tegan?"
She sighed. "Sorry, Doc. I just realized how silly it would be for us to try keeping our eyes shut when we do this."
He nodded. "Well, since as you've realized the pointlessness of it, would you please do my back?" He held out the washcloth.
She was frozen for a second. Then she remembered they were going to try and be friends. Real friends, he'd said. And real friends were mature about things.
She took the cloth and he turned back around. As she soaped his back she said: "You're just so calm about this. Like it doesn't bother you a bit."
"It bothers me only in that it bothers you," he told her. "I'm not really used to thinking of my body in sexual terms. And even if I was, there's a world of difference between being naked and being intimate."
"Fair enough," she admitted, finishing his back. "Though you'd not find humans who could separate the two so easily."
He completed his rinsing off and turned to her. "I have every faith that you can," he smiled. He proceeded to move around her, hands resting lightly on her shoulders to guide her in front of the water. She began washing herself off, reflecting on everything that had just been said between them. When she handed him the washrag she was very proud of herself for the coolness of her demeanor. "If you don't mind, please?"
As he scrubbed her back she gave a tiny sigh. His touch felt so good. Odd, but good. It had been a while since a male of any species had touched her and she hadn't realized how much she had missed physical contact, even something as casual and innocent in intent as this.
"Am I hurting you?"
"No, no," she answered quickly.
"Why did you sigh, then?"
She was torn between a lie and the truth. But she was Tegan. And this was the Doctor.
"It feels nice, having my back scrubbed," she answered. There. Not a lie, just not the whole truth. What had Emily Dickinson said in one of her poems? 'Tell the truth, but tell it slant?' She chuckled to herself. Her schooling seemed to come back to her at the strangest moments.
"Guess that's another job vacancy we've filled for each other," he joked.
He finished, and she rinsed herself off as well. She could feel the hot water starting to run out. She cut the water off and stepped out of the shower, making room for him to do the same before she started drying. She dried and dressed quickly, grateful that it was warm in the cell. The doctor finished up about the same time she did, and together they went back into their room.
"Well!" he said brightly, sitting down at the table. "Now that we've been naked together, getting to know each other should be a cinch."
"Hmm! What do you have in mind, Doc?"
And they started talking. Not sparring and fighting, but really talking.
"Tegan?"
His voice brought her back to the present. "Sorry, what?"
"I asked you if you'd like me to rub your feet."
"That sounds wonderful!" She said. "But first, let me do yours. I'd say you're just as bad in need of it as I am."
"I won't dispute that," he agreed, watching as she removed his leathery sandals and took his right foot onto her lap. As she began kneading and rubbing, the Doctor closed his eyes. It did feel good to have tired sore muscles worked on. He wondered why he'd never had anyone do this for him before, or done it for any of his companions before. It hadn't occurred to him, really. He was always too busy doing other things, like outwitting Sontarans or trying to reconfigure the transtemporal stabilizers. But in their present situation, none of those things mattered. What mattered at the moment was that he had aching feet.
He, too, had begun to feel a shift in their relationship. Very slow, very subtle, but present nonetheless. Tegan's brokenhearted confession before the shower and the gentle affection between them during and after had been the first catalyst. Their escape attempt had been the second. Since that day they'd grown even closer. He was still filled with guilt and remorse about that, even though Tegan held no blame to him. It had made him vow that no matter what, he would never be a source of pain for her again. It was the first and only time they'd tried to escape, and it was a night that he would never forget...
Stay calm, Tegan, she ordered herself as the Doctor pulled his shirt off. Everything's fine, no need to worry, you've seen your share of naked men before...
She blinked and discovered that during her blink he'd taken off the pants as well.
O no, oh, no, I can't do this, I can't I can't I can't....
"Tegan?"
She opened her eyes... when had she closed them? And saw him-no, don't look there, or there, or bloody hell definitely not there! Front and center Tegan old girl, front and center, he has eyes look into his eyes O Gods those eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue I've ever seen-looking at her in puzzlement.
"Are you all right?"
"Fine!" she almost shouted. "Never better."
He tilted his head. "Then why are you nearly shouting, and why are you trying so hard not to look at me?"
"Well, erm... cripes, Doc! You're naked!"
"I'm glad you noticed."
She froze. What the hell did THAT mean?!
"Tegan, we have to be naked to take a shower."
She nodded vigorously. "Yes, I do realize that..."
"Are you in pain?" he asked, concerned. "Do you need me to help you undress?"
"What? NO!" Her words came out more forcefully than she'd intended and she sighed. "I'm sorry, Doctor. It's just... it's a little harder than I thought it was going to be."
"Really, Tegan, it's not like I have full control over it. I mean, after all... oh," he gulped. "You're talking about us taking a shower."
She laughed so hard her eyes stung with the tears. "You crazy thing! You thought I was talking about your Johnson!" she howled.
"Really, Tegan," he murmured.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said, wiping her eyes. As she spoke she stripped off her clothes, thinking as she removed her shirt that he'd have his back to her by now. When she was done and looked up her breath caught.
The Doctor was looking at her-all of her, it seemed-with those dark unreadable eyes. After a moment of standing there with him staring she couldn't take it any more. "Well? Aren't you going to poke fun at me starkers?"
"I don't see anything to laugh at," he said simply.
He turned and twisted the water on, leaving her to puzzle over what he'd said. When he was done he turned back and gave her his hand. "In we go, then. Time is an illusion, but hot water doubly so."
She took his outstretched hand and let him pull her into the shower with him.
Once fully in, she moved towards the back and closed her eyes. "Go ahead, you didn't get a proper shower this afternoon."
"All right." She could hear him washing himself. It would all be fine, she thought fiercely. She'd keep her eyes closed until he was done, then they'd move around each other so she could shower...
Except how were they going to move around each other without looking at each other? Or get out of the shower? Is that what they were going to do for the rest of their imprisonment, however long that would be? Try to shower with their eyes shut?
"Bloody hell!" She growled, opening her eyes.
He turned in confusion and mild alarm at her tone. "Tegan?"
She sighed. "Sorry, Doc. I just realized how silly it would be for us to try keeping our eyes shut when we do this."
He nodded. "Well, since as you've realized the pointlessness of it, would you please do my back?" He held out the washcloth.
She was frozen for a second. Then she remembered they were going to try and be friends. Real friends, he'd said. And real friends were mature about things.
She took the cloth and he turned back around. As she soaped his back she said: "You're just so calm about this. Like it doesn't bother you a bit."
"It bothers me only in that it bothers you," he told her. "I'm not really used to thinking of my body in sexual terms. And even if I was, there's a world of difference between being naked and being intimate."
"Fair enough," she admitted, finishing his back. "Though you'd not find humans who could separate the two so easily."
He completed his rinsing off and turned to her. "I have every faith that you can," he smiled. He proceeded to move around her, hands resting lightly on her shoulders to guide her in front of the water. She began washing herself off, reflecting on everything that had just been said between them. When she handed him the washrag she was very proud of herself for the coolness of her demeanor. "If you don't mind, please?"
As he scrubbed her back she gave a tiny sigh. His touch felt so good. Odd, but good. It had been a while since a male of any species had touched her and she hadn't realized how much she had missed physical contact, even something as casual and innocent in intent as this.
"Am I hurting you?"
"No, no," she answered quickly.
"Why did you sigh, then?"
She was torn between a lie and the truth. But she was Tegan. And this was the Doctor.
"It feels nice, having my back scrubbed," she answered. There. Not a lie, just not the whole truth. What had Emily Dickinson said in one of her poems? 'Tell the truth, but tell it slant?' She chuckled to herself. Her schooling seemed to come back to her at the strangest moments.
"Guess that's another job vacancy we've filled for each other," he joked.
He finished, and she rinsed herself off as well. She could feel the hot water starting to run out. She cut the water off and stepped out of the shower, making room for him to do the same before she started drying. She dried and dressed quickly, grateful that it was warm in the cell. The doctor finished up about the same time she did, and together they went back into their room.
"Well!" he said brightly, sitting down at the table. "Now that we've been naked together, getting to know each other should be a cinch."
"Hmm! What do you have in mind, Doc?"
And they started talking. Not sparring and fighting, but really talking.
"Tegan?"
His voice brought her back to the present. "Sorry, what?"
"I asked you if you'd like me to rub your feet."
"That sounds wonderful!" She said. "But first, let me do yours. I'd say you're just as bad in need of it as I am."
"I won't dispute that," he agreed, watching as she removed his leathery sandals and took his right foot onto her lap. As she began kneading and rubbing, the Doctor closed his eyes. It did feel good to have tired sore muscles worked on. He wondered why he'd never had anyone do this for him before, or done it for any of his companions before. It hadn't occurred to him, really. He was always too busy doing other things, like outwitting Sontarans or trying to reconfigure the transtemporal stabilizers. But in their present situation, none of those things mattered. What mattered at the moment was that he had aching feet.
He, too, had begun to feel a shift in their relationship. Very slow, very subtle, but present nonetheless. Tegan's brokenhearted confession before the shower and the gentle affection between them during and after had been the first catalyst. Their escape attempt had been the second. Since that day they'd grown even closer. He was still filled with guilt and remorse about that, even though Tegan held no blame to him. It had made him vow that no matter what, he would never be a source of pain for her again. It was the first and only time they'd tried to escape, and it was a night that he would never forget...