My Immortal
By: Amy Jonas
Email: adjonas2000@yahoo.com
Category: Jimmy and Yves. Angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine
Archieve: See. Want. Take. Just let me know
Summary: Sometimes people take different paths.
A/N: This story was borne of a discussion (My apologies to Laura who listened ever so patiently) between Ginny and I who had very different views of Jimmy and Yves. My Immortal is a song by Evanescence and I thought it fit the story.
John Lennon once said 'All you need is love.' Love was never a problem for Yves and me; in fact, it was the one thing I was sure about. I loved her with all my heart and soul and she loved me. We were happy.
But. Isn't there always a but?
After awhile, I saw her looking at me. She was thinking. She was always thinking. She's a brilliant woman and no matter how much I learned or how fast I learned, for Yves it wasn't enough. I just wasn't on her level intellectually. She needed the mental stimulation and I couldn't give it to her. Maybe, if it was only that, we could have worked it out; stayed together.
I grew up emotionally and intellectually. You have to, doing what the guys and I do. You can't remain the same. The work, the base cruelty that we see on a daily basis makes sure of that. I grew up. I changed. I guess I became jaded. I still believe people are basically good but now I don't expect it and it doesn't hurt when they prove me wrong. Yves wanted me to grow up. She loved my ability to trust others, that innocence that she lost when she was young. Now though, I'm cynical and she looks at me differently.
Our wants are different. I want marriage and children, a life with her. Yves wants her freedom. There are people who still look for her and she needs to be able to disappear at a moments notice.
I once thought I would rather be with Yves in any way even if it meant I wouldn't have my family. I would be with her and I would love her till the day I died. We were together for five years before out relationship fell apart. Our differences were too profound.
The guys took me out to a bar and got me drunk. They said all the words that people say when you break up with the love of your life. 'It was a good run'. 'You tried your best'. 'The two of us were just too different.'
Seeing her after that hurt. My heart felt as if it was in a vise and someone kept cranking it until my heart felt as if it would burst from the pain. I wanted a family so I tried to quell my love for Yves. I went on dates. There was one girl. I think I could have loved her if I tried but she would never be Yves. It wouldn't have been fair to her so I broke it off.
Yves came over to the warehouse the other day. The guys were on a stakeout and I was researching information on the net. Like I said earlier; you can't be around the guys for as long as I have and not learn things. We looked at each other for what felt like hours. I wanted to touch her; brush the stray strands of hair from her eyes and tuck it behind her ear. I wanted us to talk like we used to. I want to hear her laugh again. I wanted to hold her in my arms again. I wanted to tell her how much I love her.
I wanted to tell her....all you need is love.
Her dark eyes flickered and she broke eye contact. She dropped a disk next to the computer I was working on, turned and left. I heard the door slam shut and I dropped in to a chair. When I turned back to the screen, I couldn't read the information; the words were all blurred.
I rubbed my eyes and made a mental note to dust the work area. As I renewed my search, I couldn't help but think John Lennon was wrong.
By: Amy Jonas
Email: adjonas2000@yahoo.com
Category: Jimmy and Yves. Angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine
Archieve: See. Want. Take. Just let me know
Summary: Sometimes people take different paths.
A/N: This story was borne of a discussion (My apologies to Laura who listened ever so patiently) between Ginny and I who had very different views of Jimmy and Yves. My Immortal is a song by Evanescence and I thought it fit the story.
John Lennon once said 'All you need is love.' Love was never a problem for Yves and me; in fact, it was the one thing I was sure about. I loved her with all my heart and soul and she loved me. We were happy.
But. Isn't there always a but?
After awhile, I saw her looking at me. She was thinking. She was always thinking. She's a brilliant woman and no matter how much I learned or how fast I learned, for Yves it wasn't enough. I just wasn't on her level intellectually. She needed the mental stimulation and I couldn't give it to her. Maybe, if it was only that, we could have worked it out; stayed together.
I grew up emotionally and intellectually. You have to, doing what the guys and I do. You can't remain the same. The work, the base cruelty that we see on a daily basis makes sure of that. I grew up. I changed. I guess I became jaded. I still believe people are basically good but now I don't expect it and it doesn't hurt when they prove me wrong. Yves wanted me to grow up. She loved my ability to trust others, that innocence that she lost when she was young. Now though, I'm cynical and she looks at me differently.
Our wants are different. I want marriage and children, a life with her. Yves wants her freedom. There are people who still look for her and she needs to be able to disappear at a moments notice.
I once thought I would rather be with Yves in any way even if it meant I wouldn't have my family. I would be with her and I would love her till the day I died. We were together for five years before out relationship fell apart. Our differences were too profound.
The guys took me out to a bar and got me drunk. They said all the words that people say when you break up with the love of your life. 'It was a good run'. 'You tried your best'. 'The two of us were just too different.'
Seeing her after that hurt. My heart felt as if it was in a vise and someone kept cranking it until my heart felt as if it would burst from the pain. I wanted a family so I tried to quell my love for Yves. I went on dates. There was one girl. I think I could have loved her if I tried but she would never be Yves. It wouldn't have been fair to her so I broke it off.
Yves came over to the warehouse the other day. The guys were on a stakeout and I was researching information on the net. Like I said earlier; you can't be around the guys for as long as I have and not learn things. We looked at each other for what felt like hours. I wanted to touch her; brush the stray strands of hair from her eyes and tuck it behind her ear. I wanted us to talk like we used to. I want to hear her laugh again. I wanted to hold her in my arms again. I wanted to tell her how much I love her.
I wanted to tell her....all you need is love.
Her dark eyes flickered and she broke eye contact. She dropped a disk next to the computer I was working on, turned and left. I heard the door slam shut and I dropped in to a chair. When I turned back to the screen, I couldn't read the information; the words were all blurred.
I rubbed my eyes and made a mental note to dust the work area. As I renewed my search, I couldn't help but think John Lennon was wrong.