Disclaimer(cave man style) : Ugg, me no own M*A*S*H. uhhg! Me no own characters! You sue and Trog destroy lawyer men.

OnlyHawkeye4Hotlips: (walks into swamp) Hey boys!

BJ: Hey OH4H! Happy Birthday!

OnlyHawkeye4Hotlips: Thanks Beej! Where's Hawkeye?

Hawkeye sneaks up behind OH4H and grabs her.

OnlyHawkeye4Hotlips: AHHHHHH!

Hawkeye(grinning cheekily): Hey OH4H, Happy Birthday...how's your birthday suit?

OnlyHawkeye4Hotlips: Gorgeous, too bad you'll never know!

BJ: (laughs) too bad Hawk.

Hawkeye: I'll get her one day.

OnlyHawkeye4Hotlips: No ya won't.

Hawkeye: Why not?

OnlyHawkeye4Hotlips: How am I supposed to pair you with Margaret if you're?

with me? Sides, you're a fictional character. Hawkeye: Margaret?

OnlyHawkeye4Hotlips: Yeah, notice the name?

Hawkeye: How are you going to pull that off? Ferret face won't like it.

BJ: Can we help?

OnlyHawkeye4Hotlips: I am the writer, I can do it myself. I don't care what Frank likes.

Margaret suddenly bursts into the swamp, an angry Frank at her heels, and jumps into Hawkeye's arms kissing him loveinly.

Frank: What's going on here?!

BJ: (points at Hawk and Margaret) They are.

Frank: Oh don't be a snooty patooty!

OnlyHawkeye4Hotlips: Nice one.

Frank: Nerts to you!

(OnlyHawkeye4Hotlips sticks her tongue out at Frank)

Frank: Maaaaaaaaaargaret!

Margaret(busy kissing Hawkeye doesn't reply)

OnlyHawkeye4Hotlips: My work here is done. Almost...(wisps her hand and frank is buried from the neck down in dirt) C ya kids!

Beej: Wait! Can you send us all home?

OnlyHawkeye4Hotlips (sadly): Fraid not. I can't change free will, just enhance it. (walks into the sunset as BJ goes to the O Club, Frank yells for help and Hawkeye and Margaret admit their love.