Her laugh was smoky, shaky. "You're awfully brazen all of a sudden!"
He inclined his head. "Well. I have to do my part, don't I?"
His words, which were meant to amuse her, made her sad. "Oh, Doc," she sighed, hating the tears she felt glimmering in her eyes but unable to make them stop.
"Tegan?" Instantly he slipped his arms about her, pulling her to him, feeling the odd singular beat of her heart against his chest. "What's wrong? Is it what I said?"
"No, Doc. I mean yes, but no, it's not what you said..." she let the tears fall hot and free on his soft bare shoulder. "It's this. This whole bloody situation. I know what you've said makes sense... in here," she said, tapping lightly on her temple. "But in here," she said, putting a finger over her heart, "I'm tangled up and twisted and hating the way this has happened."
It was his turn to sigh, holding her closely, fiercely, as though to take away the pain she obviously felt. "So am I," he whispered back. "I almost would rather us have declared feelings for each other while running from Daleks." She laughed, a small weak laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. "At least we would've been out there, reasonably free, not clinging to each other like frightened caged animals."
"Thanks for the lovely analogy!" she spluttered with a grin. "Next you'll be offering to pick nits off of me!"
"I've not seen any yet," was his playful reply. Then he sighed again. "I simply meant-"
"There is no "simply" where you're concerned, Doc," she interjected wryly.
"Yes, well, be that as it may," he smiled. "But my point is, I, too, would rather this have
come out with us on the TARDIS, in the cloisters or the reading room, anywhere, just not with us locked up together being ordered to do something that should be chosen freely."
She nodded. "You do understand."
He looked down at her, aghast. "Of course I do, Tegan. Good grief, did you think I was putting on an act? That I would treat a physical union with you like brushing my teeth?"
"I had wondered," she admitted.
He groaned.
"You have to see it from my point of view, Doc," she pleaded. "All this time you've pushed me away, now you're pulling me close..."
"And I explained that to you as well, did I not?"
"Yes, you did," she agreed. "But... those were just words, Doc. Words are easy."
"Not for me they aren't," he said darkly.
She nodded. "I'm sorry I doubted you," she said, downcast.
"Yes, well... this isn't the time for us to hold grudges, now is it?" he smiled.
"No, I reckon not," she smiled back. She abruptly shivered.
His face changed to concern. "Are you all right?"
"Yes. Brr! It's just getting colder in here. Can't you feel it?"
He shrugged. "Not really. But it's probably a combination of the external temperature and my body temperature making you cold."
Now that he'd said that, Tegan noticed that he was, indeed, a good deal cooler than she was. In fact, he felt cold against her. She drew back a bit. "I'd forgotten!" she exclaimed. "You're about thirty degrees off from me."
"Yes," he murmured. "It will make things more interesting, at the least."
She considered this. Her hot, him cool. Her freezing, or him burning up. How the hell would they find an in-between point?
He saw the look on her face, reached down to lightly kiss her nose. "Don't worry too much about it, Tegan. I have some control over my physiology, after all. I can adjust my body to a wider range of temperatures than a human can. I won't melt, I promise."
She nodded. She'd forgotten that as well. "Right. Well, then, I suppose instead of standing here talking of being hot or cold we could..."
"Go to bed?" he asked softly.
She giggled. She couldn't help it. "Now I know why it's so important to have a mate in this place."
He titled his head in puzzlement.
"Well, come on, Doc. We're allowed out what, three nights a week? For a few hours? And we're not worked to death, so we actually have a good bit of time in here. If you're locked up with someone, other than talk, what else have you got to do?!"
His eyes sparkled a bit. "I do see your point."
She opened the door a crack, peering into the main room. "All clear." She took his hand and led him out, despite everything feeling a bit odd at being naked with him. They had taken three steps when a buzzer resounded through the room and a few seconds later the light went out.
"Nice timing, that," she muttered. "More "mood setting," would you say?"
"No, it's the normal time for it," he said, and she didn't have to be looking at him or have light in the room to know that he was smiling.
"You could've humored me, you know," she said.
"You mean I don't?"
"Funny, very funny." She stumbled a bit, her eyes not adjusted yet to the near absence of light, and felt him release her hand, shift, and swing her up into his arms.
She chuckled as he carried her towards the bed. "Do you enjoy carrying me about? You've done it twice already now."
"When it's necessary, or appropriate, I don't mind at all," he murmured.
"So which is it right now-necessary, or appropriate?"
"You tell me, Tegan."
She didn't get a chance to answer before he gently deposited her on the bed and stretched out beside her. She still couldn't see him very well, but she could feel him, his nearness, his coolness, that tiny jolt she always experienced when he was close to her. Suddenly she was filled with the urge to touch him, to taste him, to know his body as well as she knew her own. In the shower, she'd always been careful not to pay too much attention to him, knowing what her reaction would be, knowing how it would complicate things. But that worry had been removed from her: not by choice, but still removed. Even tonight she'd held her curiosity in check, partly from not wanting the hot water to run out, and partly because the feeling between them had been one of affection, of caring, and she'd not been ready to throw the heady brew of lust into that mix. But now, lying beside him in the dark, lust had uncoiled itself from its hiding place and was eager to spring.
She turned to him just as he turned to her, reached for him as he reached for her.
"Doctor..."
"Tegan..."
He felt her lips on his, drew a shuddering breath, and knew with a strange happiness that what was about to happen would forever change them both.
He inclined his head. "Well. I have to do my part, don't I?"
His words, which were meant to amuse her, made her sad. "Oh, Doc," she sighed, hating the tears she felt glimmering in her eyes but unable to make them stop.
"Tegan?" Instantly he slipped his arms about her, pulling her to him, feeling the odd singular beat of her heart against his chest. "What's wrong? Is it what I said?"
"No, Doc. I mean yes, but no, it's not what you said..." she let the tears fall hot and free on his soft bare shoulder. "It's this. This whole bloody situation. I know what you've said makes sense... in here," she said, tapping lightly on her temple. "But in here," she said, putting a finger over her heart, "I'm tangled up and twisted and hating the way this has happened."
It was his turn to sigh, holding her closely, fiercely, as though to take away the pain she obviously felt. "So am I," he whispered back. "I almost would rather us have declared feelings for each other while running from Daleks." She laughed, a small weak laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. "At least we would've been out there, reasonably free, not clinging to each other like frightened caged animals."
"Thanks for the lovely analogy!" she spluttered with a grin. "Next you'll be offering to pick nits off of me!"
"I've not seen any yet," was his playful reply. Then he sighed again. "I simply meant-"
"There is no "simply" where you're concerned, Doc," she interjected wryly.
"Yes, well, be that as it may," he smiled. "But my point is, I, too, would rather this have
come out with us on the TARDIS, in the cloisters or the reading room, anywhere, just not with us locked up together being ordered to do something that should be chosen freely."
She nodded. "You do understand."
He looked down at her, aghast. "Of course I do, Tegan. Good grief, did you think I was putting on an act? That I would treat a physical union with you like brushing my teeth?"
"I had wondered," she admitted.
He groaned.
"You have to see it from my point of view, Doc," she pleaded. "All this time you've pushed me away, now you're pulling me close..."
"And I explained that to you as well, did I not?"
"Yes, you did," she agreed. "But... those were just words, Doc. Words are easy."
"Not for me they aren't," he said darkly.
She nodded. "I'm sorry I doubted you," she said, downcast.
"Yes, well... this isn't the time for us to hold grudges, now is it?" he smiled.
"No, I reckon not," she smiled back. She abruptly shivered.
His face changed to concern. "Are you all right?"
"Yes. Brr! It's just getting colder in here. Can't you feel it?"
He shrugged. "Not really. But it's probably a combination of the external temperature and my body temperature making you cold."
Now that he'd said that, Tegan noticed that he was, indeed, a good deal cooler than she was. In fact, he felt cold against her. She drew back a bit. "I'd forgotten!" she exclaimed. "You're about thirty degrees off from me."
"Yes," he murmured. "It will make things more interesting, at the least."
She considered this. Her hot, him cool. Her freezing, or him burning up. How the hell would they find an in-between point?
He saw the look on her face, reached down to lightly kiss her nose. "Don't worry too much about it, Tegan. I have some control over my physiology, after all. I can adjust my body to a wider range of temperatures than a human can. I won't melt, I promise."
She nodded. She'd forgotten that as well. "Right. Well, then, I suppose instead of standing here talking of being hot or cold we could..."
"Go to bed?" he asked softly.
She giggled. She couldn't help it. "Now I know why it's so important to have a mate in this place."
He titled his head in puzzlement.
"Well, come on, Doc. We're allowed out what, three nights a week? For a few hours? And we're not worked to death, so we actually have a good bit of time in here. If you're locked up with someone, other than talk, what else have you got to do?!"
His eyes sparkled a bit. "I do see your point."
She opened the door a crack, peering into the main room. "All clear." She took his hand and led him out, despite everything feeling a bit odd at being naked with him. They had taken three steps when a buzzer resounded through the room and a few seconds later the light went out.
"Nice timing, that," she muttered. "More "mood setting," would you say?"
"No, it's the normal time for it," he said, and she didn't have to be looking at him or have light in the room to know that he was smiling.
"You could've humored me, you know," she said.
"You mean I don't?"
"Funny, very funny." She stumbled a bit, her eyes not adjusted yet to the near absence of light, and felt him release her hand, shift, and swing her up into his arms.
She chuckled as he carried her towards the bed. "Do you enjoy carrying me about? You've done it twice already now."
"When it's necessary, or appropriate, I don't mind at all," he murmured.
"So which is it right now-necessary, or appropriate?"
"You tell me, Tegan."
She didn't get a chance to answer before he gently deposited her on the bed and stretched out beside her. She still couldn't see him very well, but she could feel him, his nearness, his coolness, that tiny jolt she always experienced when he was close to her. Suddenly she was filled with the urge to touch him, to taste him, to know his body as well as she knew her own. In the shower, she'd always been careful not to pay too much attention to him, knowing what her reaction would be, knowing how it would complicate things. But that worry had been removed from her: not by choice, but still removed. Even tonight she'd held her curiosity in check, partly from not wanting the hot water to run out, and partly because the feeling between them had been one of affection, of caring, and she'd not been ready to throw the heady brew of lust into that mix. But now, lying beside him in the dark, lust had uncoiled itself from its hiding place and was eager to spring.
She turned to him just as he turned to her, reached for him as he reached for her.
"Doctor..."
"Tegan..."
He felt her lips on his, drew a shuddering breath, and knew with a strange happiness that what was about to happen would forever change them both.