CLASH of the CHARACTERZ

by The MEEP

Chapta Four: The Duel

But first, the obligatory authoress's notes...

#1: The usual things ("bloody hell", "g**d***", Aragorn+Legolas, inappropriate acts, et cetera), will be outlawed.

#2: A friend of mine who shall remain anonymous has committed a serious offense by copying nearly everything original in my story, and twisting it around, then publishing it. Furthermore, the story was REAL PEOPLE BASED, which is against the rules of fanfiction.net.
Audience: Hey, didn't you base yours on your friend--
Nari: Shut up. Nevermind.
I won't report you, Sara, because I'm such a great friend. But you know I would never really be mad at you... right? *sweatdrop*

#3: I fixed the only-signed-reviews problem. So now you can review if you're not signed in. YEAH!

ON WIT DA STORY already. Um, yeah.

So, the scene: Artemis's manor. The characters present are: Holly (duh), Juliet and Trinity (duh), Butler, Foaly, Will Turner (Pirates of the Caribbean), and... Frodo. Hey, I bet they could all have nicknames. Arty, Hol, um, I dunno... Juli, Trin, Dom, Bill, and... Frodo=Elijah=? Help me out here, people.

Artemis: *awkward* Well, umm... anyone for lemonade?

Everyone: YEAH!

Juliet: Just so long as you don't make it...

Artemis: Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!

Juliet: Face it, Artemis. You can't cook... a glass of lemonade.

Artemis: Gimme a break! I'm an inexperienced genius!

Will: Forget this, I'll just go make it... *walks into kitchen and returns four minutes later with a pitcher of lemonade.*

Butler: Hey, I though we didn't have any lemons.

Juliet: And we're out of that powdered drink stuff...

*Everyone turns to look at Will.*

Will: All, right, fine. *turns red*

Juliet: I'll go make the lemonade. Then Trinity and I can duel.

Trinity: *smug look*

Juliet: I've always wondered, Will... Why do you have long hair?

Will: Uh...

Juliet: It's not cute, you know... In fact, it makes you look like a...

Artemis: JULIET! We're getting bored... where's the lemonade?!

Juliet: Uh, coming right up!

*Juliet makes several pitchers of pink lemonade, made witrh a powdered mix from... ages gone by. Oh, and Dixie cups.*

Juliet: Best I could do. Drink up.

Trinity: Now, shall we fight?

Juliet: You got it! Umm, choose your weapon.

Trinity: Only one?

Juliet: Okay, you get two if I get two.

Trinity: Three?

Artemis: FORGET IT! ONE WEAPON! THAT'S IT, GIRLS!

Juliet: *pouts* Well, I select my jade ring on my ponytail... *reaches to grab it, but finds it's not there. She looks up, and Trinity is twirling it between her fingers.*

Juliet: HEY, give that back, you!

Trinity: By the laws of the duel, I can take your weapon BEFORE the duel and it's mine for the remainder!

Juliet: Well... *grabs Trinity's machine gun*

Trinity: HEY!

Juliet: *Starts blasting holes in everything, including the walls and the lounge furniture.*

Artemis: You--- THAT COST $50,000, THAT DID!!!

Trinity: *Cartwheels between the bullets, seeming to dodge every one.*

Butler: Aww man, they didn't even wait for my starting gun!

Trinity: *Tries to hit Juliet with the ring, and misses.*

Nari: CUT! Okay, I know y'all think my story is boring, and to try and write a fight scene with my minimal skills would be murder. So let's just fast-forward... *VWEEEEEP!* ...there, to the end of the fight.

*Juliet lies on the floor, defeated... er, almost defeated... by Trinity, who is sporting many cuts and scratches. The rest of the characters are just watching Resident Evil on Artemis's big-screen TV.*

Juliet: You can't... do this... to... me... *gasps*

Trinity: Yes I can. (long pause) Uh oh. S***...

Juliet: What?

Trinity: I think I had too much lemonade...

Juliet: Oh, YES!

Trinity: Oh, NO.

Juliet: Will you forfeit?

Trinity: Umm...

Juliet: *Grabs Artemis's water glass and pours it in a constant stream onto the floor.*

Trinity: ARGH! Yes! Yes I surrender! *Takes off toward restroom*

Juliet: *grins* Ahh, nature wins in the end.

Artemis: Hey, we still have lots of fanfic space to fill out. That was short, boring, and dumb.

Butler: Agreed.

Juliet: Why don't we, um, play checkers? Practice Martial Arts? Eat some celery?

Artemis: Why don't we watch Matrix Reloaded?

Everyone: YEAH!

*So they watch Matrix Reloaded. Very inappropriate, violent, and gory movie, with a lame excuse for a plot. The stupidity of people these days...*

Nari: Okay, I'm SICK of this! We may have to just end... huh, what's this?

A fiery vortex appeared in the room, and out of it steps...

"TWO DOLLARS."

Holly: OH MY GOD! It's the paperboy from 'Better Off Dead'!!!

Paperboy: TWO DOLLARS.

Nari: Out! All of you! This fanfic is coming to a close. Goodbye!

~THE END~

Oh, not the end of the STORY. Just chapter 4. ^_~

--the MEEP--