Oh, Aria!!
A Metropolis humor fic of absolute sick and wrongness, hosted by Anthy's Worst Fear. Meet them!
Aria: My name is Aria Turner. I am very sweet and submissive. But if you make me really mad, I will make things randomly explode. *Bows respectively*
Utena: I'm Utena Tenjou, from Shoujo Kakumei Utena. You may remember me as a prince-girl. Well, here, I'm that--plus uber genki. *Bounces around room*
Dilandau: I'm Dilandau Albatou, from Escaflowne. I like setting thing aflame, fire, candles, setting things aflame, setting things aflame, and Aria. *Sets chair on fire*
Simon: I'm Simon Cowell. *Glares* I like to...I like to...hmm. I really don't know. But Aria did turn me into a girl once. *Glares some more*
Kallikodda: Milaura and I are the stage experts.
Milaura: Don't ask.
Aria: Now...on with the tale!!
(The scene is set at an auditorium of grand proportions. The cast of Metropolis is standing on the stage, waiting.)
Duke Red: Where on earth are they?! They said that they'd be there at three, and it is three o' one. I am becoming angry!
Rock: Father--
Duke Red: Stupid boy! What did I tell you about calling me father?!
Rock: Sorry. Sir, maybe they had to go to the restroom or something.
Tima: Kenichi! Kenichi Kenichi Kenichi Kenichi!
(Everyone stares at her in confusion.)
Tima: Kenichi Kenichi?*Confused look*
Duke Red: Tima!
Tima: Kenichi! *Runs far away from Duke Red, who sulks some.*
(The door to the auditorium opens and Anthy's Worst Fear enters, seating themselves at the first row of seats.)
Dilandau: Welcome! I'm so glad you all showed up to audition for this year's Anime Together production of Romeo and Juliet for the Ziggy op!
(Dilandau smiles and Kenichi's script instantly catches fire. He throws it to the ground and stomps on it, looking up at Dilandau with big, fearful eyes.)
Aria: Oh, Dilandau-kun...
Dilandau: What?
Aria: You don't need to smile like that, you know it randomly sets things ablaze...
(There is light music playing and birds twittling as Duke Red turns his gaze to Aria. All speech audio shuts off as he stares at her...and stares at her...and stares at her...)
Kenichi: Sir? Sir?
Duke Red: Mlaurrphhnerrphgllluuuph....
Kenichi: Random insane shooty guy, I think something's wrong with your dad.
Rock: Hello? Sir? Father? Heeeellooooo....*Waves hand in front of Duke Red's face*
Duke Red: Heheheheheeee....hahahahaha....phrrrrrrt....
Kenichi: Darastic measures?
Rock: Yheahuh.
(Rock dissapears for a moment and comes out wearing a sailor suit and licking a lollypop. Everyone is staring at him as he walks up to Duke Red and grabs his hand)
Rock: THIS IS MY DADDY! I WUV HIM LOTS, YES I DO! AND HE WUVS ME TOO!!
(Duke Red wakes up and looks at Rock murderously.)
Duke Red: HOW DARE YOU INTERUPT MY REVERIE! AND WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT CALLING ME FATHER?! *Looks like he's going to kick Rock off the face of the earth but turns and kicks Lamp off instead, seeing that the guy wasn't acting material anyway. Everyone is quiet.*
Rock: *Puppy eyes* Me sorry....
Utena: Well...since that's overwith, I'd like to announce that Aria, Dilly and I will also be participating in the play! Simon will deal out parts depending on how everyone acts. *Smiles*
Simon: *Glares*
(The entire...er...almost entire cast of Metropolis backs up some from the edge of the stage. Aria stands up and brushes herself off, her long silver hair swaying softly.)
Duke Red: *Sigh*
Skunk: What the hell is wrong with you?
Duke Red: BE QUIET! IT'S MY LIFE! I HATE YOU!
(Skunk runs out of the Auditorium crying and everyone watches him, somewhat shocked.)
Dilandau: Okay...Aria will be the first to audition. All of you who can't act, GET THE HELL OFF MY STAGE.
(All the political guys leave, save Duke Red, who is trying to look suave. Aria climbs up onto the stage, and stands at front, brushing herself off again. All the guys stare at her short school uniform pleated skirt)
Aria: *fluently*Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again.
I have a faint cold fear thrills through my veins,
That almost freezes up the heat of life:
I'll call them back again to comfort me:
Nurse! What should she do here?
My dismal scene I needs must act alone.
Come, vial.
What if this mixture do not work at all?
Shall I be married then to-morrow morning? *Curtsies and leaves stage*
Guys: *Drool*
Simon: Nice! Very nice! I would say...that you make a spectacular Juliet! Come here and get your script!
(Aria prances over to get her script and all the guys give each other deathglares, except for Atlas, who is in a corner reading the Shoujo Kakumei Utena manga.)
Atlas: Revolutionary! *[1]Gets out Adolesence Apocalypse art book and flips to marked page* Ohhhhh yheeaaaa.....*Puts down art book and gets back to manga*
Utena: *Looks disturbed* Simon, can I call security?
Simon: Never mind him and get on stage. Hurry!
Utena: Yay! *Prances onto stage as Atlas snaps to attention.*
I want to be Tybalt.
(Silence)
Utena: *Clears throat, smiles and prances about*What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word,
As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee:
Have at thee, coward!
(Silence)
Simon: Nurse. You're too genki to be Tybalt.
Utena: Oh, snap. *Walks off of stage and grabs script as Atlas takes pictures of her backside* You know, that man is starting to disturb me. Deeply.
Atlas: Take my Revolution!
Utena: *Shiver*
Dilandau: I have decided to go last. *Eyes the rest of the Metropolis cast* Tima? Why don't you go ahead?
Tima: Kenichi! *Steps foward and gives a very serious look* Kenichi Kenichi Kenichi Kenichi Kenichi!!Kenichi, Kenichi.
(Silence)
Duke Red: That's my girl!
(Tima runs up to Duke Red and kicks him in the shin, running to Kenichi.)
Tima: Kenichi!
Duke Red: *Rubbing shin* Why does it always have to be me?!
Kenichi: Go ask Simon what your part is, Tima!
Tima: Kenichi! *Runs to the edge of the stage again*
Simon: Well, Tima...you only say the word Kenichi, so I guess you have to be random villager number six.
Tima: KENICHI!!*Runs over to Atlas and kicks him in the crotch for no real reason*
Atlas: *High voice* Why you little...
(Rock, who has been resting in a corner, stands.)
Rock: I'll go next. *Walks to front of stage* Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes--*Tima races up and pushes Rock off of stage*OW! Demon child!!
Tima: Kenichi!
Rock: I'll kill you!! *Draws gun*
Kenichi: NOOOOO!!
Duke Red: NOOOOO!!
Utena: INSANITY STARTED. BEGINNING EMERGENCY 'CHATSPEAK' MODE. OMGWTF?!!!!111!!
(Everyone stops and turns to Utena. Silence.)
Utena: Y r u lkng @ me?*Goes blank* CHATSPEAK MODE TERMINATED.
(Silence)
Simon: *Clears throat* May I call Kenichi to the front of the stage?
(Dilandau looks up and Kenichi grows nervous)
Kenichi: I love easy mac, I love easy mac, easy mac loves me too...
(Silence)
Tima: *Angry face* KENICHI!!
Rock: We don't even have enough people to do Romeo and Juliet! Nobody even announced MY part!
Duke Red: No! We must do Romeo and Juliet!
Atlas: Why? So you can kiss Aria?
Duke Red: *Blushes* NO!
Atlas: Dukie and Aria, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S--*Is shot by Utena*
Utena: Muhahahaha! I is the greatest! Go Tenjou! It's your birthday. We don't care if it's not your birthday. We're gonna party like it's your birthday--
Duke Red: ENOUGH!
Dilandau: I know! Let's do...
(Silence)
Dilandau: Um...
Simon: Why don't we just do one of those--
Utena: Let's do my movie, Adolecence Apocalypse!
(Pleased mumbling)
Utena: I'll cut it so that not that many characters need to be used. I want to be Saionji!
Aria: I'm Anthy!
(Duke Red rushes to Aria's side)
Duke Red: I'm Utena!*Beams*
(Silence)
Simon: Okay...I'LL DO THE REST IF YOU PUSHY GITS DON'T MIND. Tima, you can be Juri, and Kenichi can be Shiori.
Tima: Kenichi!
Kenichi: Awww man...
Simon: Dilandau will be Touga.
(Dilandau's face flushes in fear, and so does Duke Red's.)
Simon: We need an Akio!
(Silence, then everyone points to dead Atlas, smiling.)
Simon: Oh....okay. Rock, you can be...you can be...hm. You can be Rock.
Rock: Do I get to randomly shoot?
Simon: Fine, if you use dummy rounds.
(Everyone notices Utena is gone, then loud yelling is heard as a blur of red passes the two groups)
Utena: I IS THE QUEEN OF OHIO!!!*Lands on stage as 'I Just Can't Wait to be King' begins playing*
Aria: Utena-kun--[2]
Duke Red: I love it when you say KUN!
Aria: ???
Utena: I'm gonna be a mighty QUEEN, so enemies beware--
Dilandau: STOP IT! EVIL DISNEY MUSIC!*Kenichi's head catches fire*
Kenichi: NOOOOOO!!!PAAAAIIIN!!!HEEEEELLLLP!
(Silence)
Simon: That's quite enough, Dilandau. *Dumps mega-gulp of coke on Kenichi's head, music stops*
Kenichi: *Faint*
(Tima walks up to Kenichi and bends over him.)
Tima: Kenichi? Kenichi? Kenichi? Kenichi?
(Kenichi awakens)
Duke Red: WHERE IS MY LOVE?!WHY DOESN'T ANYONE LIKE ME?!
('Return to Innocence' starts playing, and Aria sings it, with Rock doing the indian parts. Everyone is dancing new age style, and Tima is singing the word Kenichi.)
Rock: *Chanting*
Aria: Love...
Everyone: Love...
Aria: Devotion...
Everyone: Devotion...
Aria: Feeling...
Everyone: Feeling...
Aria: Emotion....
Everyone: Emotion...
Aria: Don't be afraid to be weak, don't be proud to be strong...just look into your heart, my friend, that will be the return to yourself...the return to innocence!
Rock: *Chanting*
Everyone: Return to innocence!
Aria: If you want, then start to laugh, if you must, then start to cry, be yourself, don't turn, just believe in destiny, don't care what people say, just follow your own way, don't give up and lose the chance to return to innocence!
Rock: *Chanting*
Aria: That's not the beginning of the end, that's the return to innocence! The return to innocence...
Rock*Even more chanting*
Duke Red: *Silence*
Aria: It's a return to innocence.
Tima: Kenichi!
Simon: We were brilliant! Except for Tima, of course.
Tima: KENICHI! *Throws a bottle she got out of nowhere at Simon*
Simon: !@#!@!^&*&*(!!!!
(Silence)
Duke Red: You did that...for me?
Aria: I don't see anyone else that was complaining that nobody loved them, Duke-sama.
Utena: Avast ye scurvy doggs, tommorow we practice. Do not be late, or I will run you through with a spork, arrr!
(Silence)
The next day...
(Everyone is, miraculously, in costume, holding scripts.)
Duke Red: Touga? I mean, Touga. Touga!! Ahhh, Touga. Anthy? Touga! Roses!
Aria: Utena?
Duke Red: Watering the roses, this late?
Aria: I am the rose bride.
Duke Red: *Smiles*
Aria: *Smiles* I like your prince-dress.
Duke Red: *Blushes and mumbles* Well, your outfit's kinda cute too...
Dead Atlas: *Rot, fester, decompose, bloat*
Utena: Are you sure you want to keep Atlas as Akio? He's beginning to smell. He's making me want to puke.
Tima: *Walks up to Atlas' dead body* Kenichi?
Dead Atlas: *Abdomen bursts open and stinks real bad*
Tima: KENICHI! *Runs off to Kenichi*
Simon: Well, he's all we've got...
Kenichi: What's wrong?
Tima: *Points to Atlas' dead body, whos stomach contents are now leaking onto the floor* Kenichi!
Kenichi: Disgusting! *Brushes off his schoolgirl costume and puts on his wig and speaks in a high voice* Do you see the girl dressed as a prince?
Dilandau: Hiya.
Kenichi: AHHHHHH! *Runs away like a little girl*
Dilandau: What's with him...?
Tima: Kenichi!
Rock: Hmm...call me! No, no, no.*Italian accent* Calla me! No. *Film Nior style* I walked up to her. Slow, predatory. I pointed jazilly with my fingers. 'Call me' I said. No, no! That's not it! *Throws his script at Simon*
Simon: WHAT IS WITH EVERYONE TODAY?!?!
Utena: *With green hair* Everyone get in their places! You know what I mean! Follow the directions in your scripts! Let's start at the scene where Utena speaks with Touga.
(There is a mad scramble as everyone tries to find their spots)
Dilandau: *Looking at Duke Red*It's really coming down.
Duke Red: It'll stop soon...it's supposed to be scattered showers today.
Dilandau: How long has it been...since we saw each other? Do you remember our promise to go to the planitarium? It's still on.
Duke Red: Don't get the wrong idea!
Dilandau: Wrong idea?
Duke Red: I'm not how I used to be. I didn't follow you here. But I was suprised...I wouldn't have thought that you went to school here.
Dilandau: And that outfit?
Duke Red: To be prince. Since...*cringe* breaking up with you I have decided to live by my ideals.
Dilandau: Here's to your high ideals.
Duke Red: That ring...oh, I see. You're engaged to someone.
Dilandau: This ring is what lead me to this school...the rose signet.
Simon: Spectacular! Utena, are you ready to do the duel scene?
Utena: Am I ever!
Simon: Duke Red, you don't mind if Aria leaps on you and kisses you, do you?
Duke Red: *Smiles* I don't mind.
Simon: Good show. Let's practice the jump form firstly. Then we can move on to duel choreography and the kissing.
Duke Red: Can't we do the kissing then the choreography? I mean, isn't it better to do things in order?
Simon: I suppose so...can somebody please clean up Atlas' mess?
(Everyone looks at Atlas' dead body from across the stage. His eyes are staring at them...a fly walks across one and a maggot crawls from the hole in his belly. There is silence.)
Simon: Just...nevermind. You do know that it will be hard for Aria to kiss you with that nose, right?
Duke Red: Excuse me, Simon? What was that you said about my nose? Because if you say anything more, you'll be joining Lamp in space.
Simon: What are you talking about? I didn't say anything.
Duke Red: Good.
AN--What will become of Atlas' dead body? Will Tima say anything besides Kenichi? Speaking of Kenichi, will he survive all those scenes with Dilandau? Will Duke Red win Aria's heart? Will he survive the big scene that you don't know about (Or maybe do) where he has to *gasp* kiss Dilandau?! Will Rock find the perfect way to say 'Call me'? Will the play be a huge success(Most likely not...)? Stay tuned and find out, dear readers. The fun has just begun. Ohayoo gozaimasu, konnichiwa, konbanwa, sayonara and all those other crazy words,
Anthy's Worst Fear
[1] To check out the art book and see why Atlas was so happy to look at it, try going to the empty movement gallery. Go to yahoo and search for 'Empty movement'. It should be the first site on the list. When you get there, go to the gallerie and select 'Adolecence Apocalypse'. Click the submenu of your choice and look at the pictures. Uh-huh. Now you see what 'Ohhhh yheaaaa...' means.
[2] Utena prefers to be refered to with the notive(Or whatever the thing is called) 'Kun' because she calls herself a prince. That connecty-notey thing is usually used for boys, and san for girls. Just thought I would clear that up.
A Metropolis humor fic of absolute sick and wrongness, hosted by Anthy's Worst Fear. Meet them!
Aria: My name is Aria Turner. I am very sweet and submissive. But if you make me really mad, I will make things randomly explode. *Bows respectively*
Utena: I'm Utena Tenjou, from Shoujo Kakumei Utena. You may remember me as a prince-girl. Well, here, I'm that--plus uber genki. *Bounces around room*
Dilandau: I'm Dilandau Albatou, from Escaflowne. I like setting thing aflame, fire, candles, setting things aflame, setting things aflame, and Aria. *Sets chair on fire*
Simon: I'm Simon Cowell. *Glares* I like to...I like to...hmm. I really don't know. But Aria did turn me into a girl once. *Glares some more*
Kallikodda: Milaura and I are the stage experts.
Milaura: Don't ask.
Aria: Now...on with the tale!!
(The scene is set at an auditorium of grand proportions. The cast of Metropolis is standing on the stage, waiting.)
Duke Red: Where on earth are they?! They said that they'd be there at three, and it is three o' one. I am becoming angry!
Rock: Father--
Duke Red: Stupid boy! What did I tell you about calling me father?!
Rock: Sorry. Sir, maybe they had to go to the restroom or something.
Tima: Kenichi! Kenichi Kenichi Kenichi Kenichi!
(Everyone stares at her in confusion.)
Tima: Kenichi Kenichi?*Confused look*
Duke Red: Tima!
Tima: Kenichi! *Runs far away from Duke Red, who sulks some.*
(The door to the auditorium opens and Anthy's Worst Fear enters, seating themselves at the first row of seats.)
Dilandau: Welcome! I'm so glad you all showed up to audition for this year's Anime Together production of Romeo and Juliet for the Ziggy op!
(Dilandau smiles and Kenichi's script instantly catches fire. He throws it to the ground and stomps on it, looking up at Dilandau with big, fearful eyes.)
Aria: Oh, Dilandau-kun...
Dilandau: What?
Aria: You don't need to smile like that, you know it randomly sets things ablaze...
(There is light music playing and birds twittling as Duke Red turns his gaze to Aria. All speech audio shuts off as he stares at her...and stares at her...and stares at her...)
Kenichi: Sir? Sir?
Duke Red: Mlaurrphhnerrphgllluuuph....
Kenichi: Random insane shooty guy, I think something's wrong with your dad.
Rock: Hello? Sir? Father? Heeeellooooo....*Waves hand in front of Duke Red's face*
Duke Red: Heheheheheeee....hahahahaha....phrrrrrrt....
Kenichi: Darastic measures?
Rock: Yheahuh.
(Rock dissapears for a moment and comes out wearing a sailor suit and licking a lollypop. Everyone is staring at him as he walks up to Duke Red and grabs his hand)
Rock: THIS IS MY DADDY! I WUV HIM LOTS, YES I DO! AND HE WUVS ME TOO!!
(Duke Red wakes up and looks at Rock murderously.)
Duke Red: HOW DARE YOU INTERUPT MY REVERIE! AND WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT CALLING ME FATHER?! *Looks like he's going to kick Rock off the face of the earth but turns and kicks Lamp off instead, seeing that the guy wasn't acting material anyway. Everyone is quiet.*
Rock: *Puppy eyes* Me sorry....
Utena: Well...since that's overwith, I'd like to announce that Aria, Dilly and I will also be participating in the play! Simon will deal out parts depending on how everyone acts. *Smiles*
Simon: *Glares*
(The entire...er...almost entire cast of Metropolis backs up some from the edge of the stage. Aria stands up and brushes herself off, her long silver hair swaying softly.)
Duke Red: *Sigh*
Skunk: What the hell is wrong with you?
Duke Red: BE QUIET! IT'S MY LIFE! I HATE YOU!
(Skunk runs out of the Auditorium crying and everyone watches him, somewhat shocked.)
Dilandau: Okay...Aria will be the first to audition. All of you who can't act, GET THE HELL OFF MY STAGE.
(All the political guys leave, save Duke Red, who is trying to look suave. Aria climbs up onto the stage, and stands at front, brushing herself off again. All the guys stare at her short school uniform pleated skirt)
Aria: *fluently*Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again.
I have a faint cold fear thrills through my veins,
That almost freezes up the heat of life:
I'll call them back again to comfort me:
Nurse! What should she do here?
My dismal scene I needs must act alone.
Come, vial.
What if this mixture do not work at all?
Shall I be married then to-morrow morning? *Curtsies and leaves stage*
Guys: *Drool*
Simon: Nice! Very nice! I would say...that you make a spectacular Juliet! Come here and get your script!
(Aria prances over to get her script and all the guys give each other deathglares, except for Atlas, who is in a corner reading the Shoujo Kakumei Utena manga.)
Atlas: Revolutionary! *[1]Gets out Adolesence Apocalypse art book and flips to marked page* Ohhhhh yheeaaaa.....*Puts down art book and gets back to manga*
Utena: *Looks disturbed* Simon, can I call security?
Simon: Never mind him and get on stage. Hurry!
Utena: Yay! *Prances onto stage as Atlas snaps to attention.*
I want to be Tybalt.
(Silence)
Utena: *Clears throat, smiles and prances about*What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word,
As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee:
Have at thee, coward!
(Silence)
Simon: Nurse. You're too genki to be Tybalt.
Utena: Oh, snap. *Walks off of stage and grabs script as Atlas takes pictures of her backside* You know, that man is starting to disturb me. Deeply.
Atlas: Take my Revolution!
Utena: *Shiver*
Dilandau: I have decided to go last. *Eyes the rest of the Metropolis cast* Tima? Why don't you go ahead?
Tima: Kenichi! *Steps foward and gives a very serious look* Kenichi Kenichi Kenichi Kenichi Kenichi!!Kenichi, Kenichi.
(Silence)
Duke Red: That's my girl!
(Tima runs up to Duke Red and kicks him in the shin, running to Kenichi.)
Tima: Kenichi!
Duke Red: *Rubbing shin* Why does it always have to be me?!
Kenichi: Go ask Simon what your part is, Tima!
Tima: Kenichi! *Runs to the edge of the stage again*
Simon: Well, Tima...you only say the word Kenichi, so I guess you have to be random villager number six.
Tima: KENICHI!!*Runs over to Atlas and kicks him in the crotch for no real reason*
Atlas: *High voice* Why you little...
(Rock, who has been resting in a corner, stands.)
Rock: I'll go next. *Walks to front of stage* Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes--*Tima races up and pushes Rock off of stage*OW! Demon child!!
Tima: Kenichi!
Rock: I'll kill you!! *Draws gun*
Kenichi: NOOOOO!!
Duke Red: NOOOOO!!
Utena: INSANITY STARTED. BEGINNING EMERGENCY 'CHATSPEAK' MODE. OMGWTF?!!!!111!!
(Everyone stops and turns to Utena. Silence.)
Utena: Y r u lkng @ me?*Goes blank* CHATSPEAK MODE TERMINATED.
(Silence)
Simon: *Clears throat* May I call Kenichi to the front of the stage?
(Dilandau looks up and Kenichi grows nervous)
Kenichi: I love easy mac, I love easy mac, easy mac loves me too...
(Silence)
Tima: *Angry face* KENICHI!!
Rock: We don't even have enough people to do Romeo and Juliet! Nobody even announced MY part!
Duke Red: No! We must do Romeo and Juliet!
Atlas: Why? So you can kiss Aria?
Duke Red: *Blushes* NO!
Atlas: Dukie and Aria, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S--*Is shot by Utena*
Utena: Muhahahaha! I is the greatest! Go Tenjou! It's your birthday. We don't care if it's not your birthday. We're gonna party like it's your birthday--
Duke Red: ENOUGH!
Dilandau: I know! Let's do...
(Silence)
Dilandau: Um...
Simon: Why don't we just do one of those--
Utena: Let's do my movie, Adolecence Apocalypse!
(Pleased mumbling)
Utena: I'll cut it so that not that many characters need to be used. I want to be Saionji!
Aria: I'm Anthy!
(Duke Red rushes to Aria's side)
Duke Red: I'm Utena!*Beams*
(Silence)
Simon: Okay...I'LL DO THE REST IF YOU PUSHY GITS DON'T MIND. Tima, you can be Juri, and Kenichi can be Shiori.
Tima: Kenichi!
Kenichi: Awww man...
Simon: Dilandau will be Touga.
(Dilandau's face flushes in fear, and so does Duke Red's.)
Simon: We need an Akio!
(Silence, then everyone points to dead Atlas, smiling.)
Simon: Oh....okay. Rock, you can be...you can be...hm. You can be Rock.
Rock: Do I get to randomly shoot?
Simon: Fine, if you use dummy rounds.
(Everyone notices Utena is gone, then loud yelling is heard as a blur of red passes the two groups)
Utena: I IS THE QUEEN OF OHIO!!!*Lands on stage as 'I Just Can't Wait to be King' begins playing*
Aria: Utena-kun--[2]
Duke Red: I love it when you say KUN!
Aria: ???
Utena: I'm gonna be a mighty QUEEN, so enemies beware--
Dilandau: STOP IT! EVIL DISNEY MUSIC!*Kenichi's head catches fire*
Kenichi: NOOOOOO!!!PAAAAIIIN!!!HEEEEELLLLP!
(Silence)
Simon: That's quite enough, Dilandau. *Dumps mega-gulp of coke on Kenichi's head, music stops*
Kenichi: *Faint*
(Tima walks up to Kenichi and bends over him.)
Tima: Kenichi? Kenichi? Kenichi? Kenichi?
(Kenichi awakens)
Duke Red: WHERE IS MY LOVE?!WHY DOESN'T ANYONE LIKE ME?!
('Return to Innocence' starts playing, and Aria sings it, with Rock doing the indian parts. Everyone is dancing new age style, and Tima is singing the word Kenichi.)
Rock: *Chanting*
Aria: Love...
Everyone: Love...
Aria: Devotion...
Everyone: Devotion...
Aria: Feeling...
Everyone: Feeling...
Aria: Emotion....
Everyone: Emotion...
Aria: Don't be afraid to be weak, don't be proud to be strong...just look into your heart, my friend, that will be the return to yourself...the return to innocence!
Rock: *Chanting*
Everyone: Return to innocence!
Aria: If you want, then start to laugh, if you must, then start to cry, be yourself, don't turn, just believe in destiny, don't care what people say, just follow your own way, don't give up and lose the chance to return to innocence!
Rock: *Chanting*
Aria: That's not the beginning of the end, that's the return to innocence! The return to innocence...
Rock*Even more chanting*
Duke Red: *Silence*
Aria: It's a return to innocence.
Tima: Kenichi!
Simon: We were brilliant! Except for Tima, of course.
Tima: KENICHI! *Throws a bottle she got out of nowhere at Simon*
Simon: !@#!@!^&*&*(!!!!
(Silence)
Duke Red: You did that...for me?
Aria: I don't see anyone else that was complaining that nobody loved them, Duke-sama.
Utena: Avast ye scurvy doggs, tommorow we practice. Do not be late, or I will run you through with a spork, arrr!
(Silence)
The next day...
(Everyone is, miraculously, in costume, holding scripts.)
Duke Red: Touga? I mean, Touga. Touga!! Ahhh, Touga. Anthy? Touga! Roses!
Aria: Utena?
Duke Red: Watering the roses, this late?
Aria: I am the rose bride.
Duke Red: *Smiles*
Aria: *Smiles* I like your prince-dress.
Duke Red: *Blushes and mumbles* Well, your outfit's kinda cute too...
Dead Atlas: *Rot, fester, decompose, bloat*
Utena: Are you sure you want to keep Atlas as Akio? He's beginning to smell. He's making me want to puke.
Tima: *Walks up to Atlas' dead body* Kenichi?
Dead Atlas: *Abdomen bursts open and stinks real bad*
Tima: KENICHI! *Runs off to Kenichi*
Simon: Well, he's all we've got...
Kenichi: What's wrong?
Tima: *Points to Atlas' dead body, whos stomach contents are now leaking onto the floor* Kenichi!
Kenichi: Disgusting! *Brushes off his schoolgirl costume and puts on his wig and speaks in a high voice* Do you see the girl dressed as a prince?
Dilandau: Hiya.
Kenichi: AHHHHHH! *Runs away like a little girl*
Dilandau: What's with him...?
Tima: Kenichi!
Rock: Hmm...call me! No, no, no.*Italian accent* Calla me! No. *Film Nior style* I walked up to her. Slow, predatory. I pointed jazilly with my fingers. 'Call me' I said. No, no! That's not it! *Throws his script at Simon*
Simon: WHAT IS WITH EVERYONE TODAY?!?!
Utena: *With green hair* Everyone get in their places! You know what I mean! Follow the directions in your scripts! Let's start at the scene where Utena speaks with Touga.
(There is a mad scramble as everyone tries to find their spots)
Dilandau: *Looking at Duke Red*It's really coming down.
Duke Red: It'll stop soon...it's supposed to be scattered showers today.
Dilandau: How long has it been...since we saw each other? Do you remember our promise to go to the planitarium? It's still on.
Duke Red: Don't get the wrong idea!
Dilandau: Wrong idea?
Duke Red: I'm not how I used to be. I didn't follow you here. But I was suprised...I wouldn't have thought that you went to school here.
Dilandau: And that outfit?
Duke Red: To be prince. Since...*cringe* breaking up with you I have decided to live by my ideals.
Dilandau: Here's to your high ideals.
Duke Red: That ring...oh, I see. You're engaged to someone.
Dilandau: This ring is what lead me to this school...the rose signet.
Simon: Spectacular! Utena, are you ready to do the duel scene?
Utena: Am I ever!
Simon: Duke Red, you don't mind if Aria leaps on you and kisses you, do you?
Duke Red: *Smiles* I don't mind.
Simon: Good show. Let's practice the jump form firstly. Then we can move on to duel choreography and the kissing.
Duke Red: Can't we do the kissing then the choreography? I mean, isn't it better to do things in order?
Simon: I suppose so...can somebody please clean up Atlas' mess?
(Everyone looks at Atlas' dead body from across the stage. His eyes are staring at them...a fly walks across one and a maggot crawls from the hole in his belly. There is silence.)
Simon: Just...nevermind. You do know that it will be hard for Aria to kiss you with that nose, right?
Duke Red: Excuse me, Simon? What was that you said about my nose? Because if you say anything more, you'll be joining Lamp in space.
Simon: What are you talking about? I didn't say anything.
Duke Red: Good.
AN--What will become of Atlas' dead body? Will Tima say anything besides Kenichi? Speaking of Kenichi, will he survive all those scenes with Dilandau? Will Duke Red win Aria's heart? Will he survive the big scene that you don't know about (Or maybe do) where he has to *gasp* kiss Dilandau?! Will Rock find the perfect way to say 'Call me'? Will the play be a huge success(Most likely not...)? Stay tuned and find out, dear readers. The fun has just begun. Ohayoo gozaimasu, konnichiwa, konbanwa, sayonara and all those other crazy words,
Anthy's Worst Fear
[1] To check out the art book and see why Atlas was so happy to look at it, try going to the empty movement gallery. Go to yahoo and search for 'Empty movement'. It should be the first site on the list. When you get there, go to the gallerie and select 'Adolecence Apocalypse'. Click the submenu of your choice and look at the pictures. Uh-huh. Now you see what 'Ohhhh yheaaaa...' means.
[2] Utena prefers to be refered to with the notive(Or whatever the thing is called) 'Kun' because she calls herself a prince. That connecty-notey thing is usually used for boys, and san for girls. Just thought I would clear that up.