Ok, Warin, this is for you :-)
And to everyone who is reading this story: thank you, and please remember that the only "payment" a fanfic writer gets is feedback, so please leave some for the authors whose stories you read!
Tegan was nervous.
She didn't want to admit it, of course. But she knew the signs too well within herself. She sat at the table after returning to their room, plucking at her chair as though pulling the feathers off a chicken. Her heart was doing the two-step, and she was swallowing hard. The guards were bringing in their meal: it would only be a minute or two before the Doctor would be back. And then... she didn't want to think about how she'd feel when she actually saw him.
All day she'd thought about the night before, and the morning before they left. Every whisper, every touch, every word had burned itself into her brain and refused to go away. She had done what needed doing: she had a job to do, after all. But she was a wreck. What if he came back and was his old cool self? What if everything they'd shared, everything she'd finally allowed herself to feel, what if it was all for nothing? How could she face him?
Her frantic thoughts were interrupted as the Doctor was brought in and the guards departed. Impulsively she stood up, eyes dark and wide with the fear she'd been experiencing all day. "Doc?" she whispered.
He stared at her. She was shaking, agitated... scared?
"Tegan," he said softly. He went to her and pulled her against him, not understanding exactly what was wrong but sensing that she needed reassurance. He held her for a long moment, and when he felt some of the stiffness and shaking ease from her, he pulled back slightly and peered into her eyes. "You seem... distressed," he said.
"I was," she admitted, giving him a tenuous smile. "But I think it's getting better now."
"Do you want to eat and tell me about it?"
"Eat, yes. Talk about it..." she sighed. "Damn and blast. Yes, I do. I will."
He looked at her quizzically, but made no further comment, sitting down and waiting for her to do the same before he started on his tray. Tegan ate in a daze, scarcely paying attention until he asked: "How is it?"
"What?"
"The stew. How is it?" he said.
Tegan realized with a start that it had to be what he'd been working on for so long in the kitchen. She forced herself to focus on her food and took a spoonful, letting the flavors glide over her tongue. After a few seconds she swallowed and exclaimed: "Doc, this is wonderful!"
He seemed anxious, hesitant. "Really?"
"Yes, really. You've blended a nice combination of spices in here! And the meat isn't too tough or too stringy. The vegetables are good, too: tender but not limp. It's great, honestly."
His apprehensive look changed to one of pleasure. "Thank you, Tegan."
She ate with more enthusiasm, and he noticed the change. When they'd both finished she said: "You'll have to make this when we get back on the TARDIS..." her voice trailed off.
"Yes, I will, won't I?" he said cheerfully, as though her words hadn't had a bad effect on him at all. He rose, took her hands and pulled her up to stand beside him. "Come on," he told her quietly. "We've a shower to take. Then we can talk."
They showered in silence except for a few sighs from the Doctor as Tegan rubbed his back. When it was over and they were in bed the Doctor turned to her, propping his head up on one hand. "All right, Tegan, out with it."
She sighed. "I thought about you all day today."
"Well yes, I can see why you're so distressed," he replied sardonically.
"I got scared, all right?" she huffed. "I was worried maybe you'd... change. And I didn't know what I'd do if you did."
"Change... how? Go back to my "old self," you mean? Act like what happened was of no more consequence than the weather?"
When he voiced her thoughts, she felt embarrassed. "Yes."
"Tegan, how could you think that?"
"Because I'm a cynical person by nature and I'm afraid! I care so much about you, and the idea that it might happen..." she stopped, forcing herself to calm down.
He took her chin in his hand and tilted her face up. "Tegan, when have you ever known me to run away from something?"
"Never," she answered.
"Do you honestly think this only goes one way? That I haven't developed any feelings for you at all?"
"No, I don't," she admitted. "I just..."
"You need words," he finished.
"Yes."
"I'm not good with words, Tegan. But for what it's worth, here they are. I can't explain exactly how I feel about you, because I've never experienced this feeling before. There are some that might say its love. I have nothing to judge it against, so I don't know. But I do know that I care a great deal about you. When I think of you, I'm happy. The idea of you not being in my life causes me a lot of pain. And while I'm not the least bit pleased to be a prisoner here, I'm glad that I'm with you."
Her lower lip quivered and her eyes brightened as she stared at him in wonder. He smiled, brushing her hair away from her face. "Does that make you feel any better?"
Her answer was to move against him and kiss him.
And to everyone who is reading this story: thank you, and please remember that the only "payment" a fanfic writer gets is feedback, so please leave some for the authors whose stories you read!
Tegan was nervous.
She didn't want to admit it, of course. But she knew the signs too well within herself. She sat at the table after returning to their room, plucking at her chair as though pulling the feathers off a chicken. Her heart was doing the two-step, and she was swallowing hard. The guards were bringing in their meal: it would only be a minute or two before the Doctor would be back. And then... she didn't want to think about how she'd feel when she actually saw him.
All day she'd thought about the night before, and the morning before they left. Every whisper, every touch, every word had burned itself into her brain and refused to go away. She had done what needed doing: she had a job to do, after all. But she was a wreck. What if he came back and was his old cool self? What if everything they'd shared, everything she'd finally allowed herself to feel, what if it was all for nothing? How could she face him?
Her frantic thoughts were interrupted as the Doctor was brought in and the guards departed. Impulsively she stood up, eyes dark and wide with the fear she'd been experiencing all day. "Doc?" she whispered.
He stared at her. She was shaking, agitated... scared?
"Tegan," he said softly. He went to her and pulled her against him, not understanding exactly what was wrong but sensing that she needed reassurance. He held her for a long moment, and when he felt some of the stiffness and shaking ease from her, he pulled back slightly and peered into her eyes. "You seem... distressed," he said.
"I was," she admitted, giving him a tenuous smile. "But I think it's getting better now."
"Do you want to eat and tell me about it?"
"Eat, yes. Talk about it..." she sighed. "Damn and blast. Yes, I do. I will."
He looked at her quizzically, but made no further comment, sitting down and waiting for her to do the same before he started on his tray. Tegan ate in a daze, scarcely paying attention until he asked: "How is it?"
"What?"
"The stew. How is it?" he said.
Tegan realized with a start that it had to be what he'd been working on for so long in the kitchen. She forced herself to focus on her food and took a spoonful, letting the flavors glide over her tongue. After a few seconds she swallowed and exclaimed: "Doc, this is wonderful!"
He seemed anxious, hesitant. "Really?"
"Yes, really. You've blended a nice combination of spices in here! And the meat isn't too tough or too stringy. The vegetables are good, too: tender but not limp. It's great, honestly."
His apprehensive look changed to one of pleasure. "Thank you, Tegan."
She ate with more enthusiasm, and he noticed the change. When they'd both finished she said: "You'll have to make this when we get back on the TARDIS..." her voice trailed off.
"Yes, I will, won't I?" he said cheerfully, as though her words hadn't had a bad effect on him at all. He rose, took her hands and pulled her up to stand beside him. "Come on," he told her quietly. "We've a shower to take. Then we can talk."
They showered in silence except for a few sighs from the Doctor as Tegan rubbed his back. When it was over and they were in bed the Doctor turned to her, propping his head up on one hand. "All right, Tegan, out with it."
She sighed. "I thought about you all day today."
"Well yes, I can see why you're so distressed," he replied sardonically.
"I got scared, all right?" she huffed. "I was worried maybe you'd... change. And I didn't know what I'd do if you did."
"Change... how? Go back to my "old self," you mean? Act like what happened was of no more consequence than the weather?"
When he voiced her thoughts, she felt embarrassed. "Yes."
"Tegan, how could you think that?"
"Because I'm a cynical person by nature and I'm afraid! I care so much about you, and the idea that it might happen..." she stopped, forcing herself to calm down.
He took her chin in his hand and tilted her face up. "Tegan, when have you ever known me to run away from something?"
"Never," she answered.
"Do you honestly think this only goes one way? That I haven't developed any feelings for you at all?"
"No, I don't," she admitted. "I just..."
"You need words," he finished.
"Yes."
"I'm not good with words, Tegan. But for what it's worth, here they are. I can't explain exactly how I feel about you, because I've never experienced this feeling before. There are some that might say its love. I have nothing to judge it against, so I don't know. But I do know that I care a great deal about you. When I think of you, I'm happy. The idea of you not being in my life causes me a lot of pain. And while I'm not the least bit pleased to be a prisoner here, I'm glad that I'm with you."
Her lower lip quivered and her eyes brightened as she stared at him in wonder. He smiled, brushing her hair away from her face. "Does that make you feel any better?"
Her answer was to move against him and kiss him.