Into: Our heroes have gone through alot already--I wonder what will happen to them the rest of the second day! Where we last left our little group, they were getting ready to practice the duel scene. Everyone is very excited because live steel is going to be used, and the Duke is excited because a pretty teenage girl is going to leap on him and kiss him! Let's just hope everything goes well--opening night is in two days! That's not a very long time to prepare, let alone memorize...nevermind. Oh, well. On with the tale!
Simon: Alright, I'm going to play the music, and you are going to do your version of the duel before we work on it any. Instead of live steel today, we are going to use funnoodles so you don't hurt each other. *Hands Utena a pink funnoodle and Duke Red a bright green one* Alright...when I start the music, follow your cues. Aaaaand--*Starts music*
Duke Red: Don't hit your girlfriend!
Utena: Girlfriend...? She's the rose bride. As the current winner of the duel...she is my.... Proprety!
Duke Red: *almost roaring* PROPRETY?!
Song: Schola Abstract I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself
Duke Red: You really win her by winning the duel...don't her feelings matter? *Bops Utena's funnoodle with his*
Song: Paralyzing Thoughts I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself
Duke Red: ANSWER ME!!*Bops Utena's head*
Song: The Ominous Tax-Guy
Duke Red: Does everyone with this ring duel to win her?
Song: I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself The Soul's Sorcerous Army
Utena: Duke Red, stop! You're hurting me!!
Song: Existence, Creation, Such wonderful pleasures, The Machine of Gears, Sanctification, Decadence...
Duke Red: YOU DON'T UNDRESTAND!!*Bops Utena, who is in the fetal position, even more.*
Simon: Woah, powerful stuff.
Song: The incomplete history, The Shortcake-fiftybroom Machine The eternal miracle I believe in
Utena: OWIE!!
Song: The eternal fudge of blank I test.
Duke Red: HOW COULD THERE BE A GIRL WHO WAS HAPPY ABOUT BEING WON IN A DUEL?!*Bops Utena some more*
Utena: WAAAAHHHH!!
Song: Ah, never ending history of the Roaring Twenties...Be reborn in me!
Duke Red: I'll never lose to someone who hits a girl!!
Utena: MERCY!!!
Song: History eating me inside like a bad pasta
Utena: *Stands up with her funnoodle glowing* Let's end this NOW, Dukie!
Song: Ah, be reborn--Never ending history of the Roaring Twenties!
Utena: This is it!! *Aria leaps in front of her* Aria, can you move?
Song: "In my eyes, In my two hands, In my soda and value meal."
Aria: If you don't have a good funnoodle, it's not a proper duel. *Leaps onto Duke Red and kisses him*
Simon: NOT AGAIN!!
Song: Be reborn! Be reborn! Be reborn! Be reborn!Be reborn! Be reborn! Be reborn! Of all the Roaring Twenties...That time! That room! Those clothes! I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself!!
(Light eminates from Aria as the One True Funnoodle of Doom pokes out from her chest)
Duke Red: A funnoodle...*Grabs the funnoodle and pulls it out, dressed in an even better costume. With the funnoodle and costume he attacks Utena, knocking her out cold*
Song: Madness and Stupidity
I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself
The Science of Astrology
: I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself
The Lamented Art of Deco
I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself
An Economitical Antidote
I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself
Schola Abstract
I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself!
Simon: *Shuts off music* Let's keep that.
Dilandau: That was spectacular, if I might say so myself!
Kenichi: Way to go!
Tima: Kenichi!
Aria: Hi guys. *Is also dressed in a megacool costume* How'd you like it?
Tima: Kenichi Kenichi! Kenichi Kenichi Kenichi? *Hands Aria a portfolio*
Aria: *Eyes grow wide* Subway sandwhich ads?
Tima: *Smiles brightly*Kenichi Kenichi! Kenichi Kenichi.
(Silence)
Aria: That's nice, Tima, but--
(Everyone is silent as Detective Ban kicks open the auditorium door. He is wearing a superhero costume. Tima smiles even brighter and rushes to him.)
Tima: Kenichi Kenichi!
Detective Ban: That's right! From now on, I will be known as Pringles Man...and Tima will be my trusty sidekick, Subway Girl!!
(Suprised gasps and Dramatic fanfare)
Kenichi: Subway Girl and Pringles Man?
(Dramatic fanfare)
Duke Red: There is no way my daughter is going to be called SUBWAY GIRL!!
(Dramatic fanfare)
Kenichi: She's not your daughter!!
Rock: Yhea!! She's not even human!
Duke Red: Shut up!!
Pringles Man: This is coming from a man with a large beakish nose who dresses like a 14 year old cross-dressing girl with pink hair...I guess we should call you 'Double-Crossdressing Pastel Bird-Girl Man'!!
(Gag fanfare and Barbie shimmer noise)
Duke Red: This is my costume!! AND DON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING MORE ABOUT MY NOSE!!
Pringles Man: Come, Subway Girl! *Dramatic fanfare* Let us find the script and rewrite it so that there is space for us!
Simon: Oh dear...
(Pringles Man and Subway Girl take back all the scripts and hastilly rewrite them. This takes about three hours.)
Pringles Man: There! Now Juri is not only an insecure lesbian with major issues...but Subway Girl *Dramatic fanfare* a girl who once weighed 300 Lbs at age 10 before going on the Subway diet by night! And of course, she fights crime side by side with me... PRINGLES MAN!!
(Dramatic fanfare)
Dilandau: Am I the only one who finds this extremely strange?
Utena: It's...different.
Aria: It's most certainly creative...
Tima: Kenichi Kenichi!
Simon: This script is getting way out of hand...and we only have the resources to do half of the script, Utena...
Utena: Then we'll do the half we can.
Rock: Why don't we just wing it, you know? Improv? We can still follow the script, but...you know...
Simon: That's so crazy that it just might work!!
Aria: Opening night is in two days, everyone. And look--It's almost 11:30!!
(Silence)
Utena: Um...I guess everyone's dissmissed...see ya all tomorrow!
The next day...
(Everyone is a bit groggy, but ready to practice. Simon, Kallikodda, and Milaura have been working all night (Or what was left of it) to put the scene up. It is a somewhat complicated looking scene, that looks like a tangle of red and white pipes and roses at random places. Atlas' dead body is still in the same place, and stinking somethind awful. It is adorned with air fresheners. Everyone is waiting patiently on the stage for instructions from Simon.)
Simon: Today, we are going to look at your intros.
Everyone: Ooooooh...
Simon: I was thinking--Pringles Man?
(Dramatic fanfare)
Pringles Man: Yes?
Simon: Why does it say 'Double-Crossdressing Pastel Bird-Girl Man' *Gag fanfare and Barbie shimmer noise* under the description for the lead part, Utena?
Duke Red: *Glares*
Pringles Man: Because I made it that way, you british idiot!
Simon: OH, IT'S ON!! *Attacks Pringles Man*
Pringles Man: MY TENDONS!!
Simon: Glad I got the point across.*Sits in his seat* Duke Red, why don't you intoduce yourself?
Duke Red: I...am an orphan. Torn from my parents in the scramble of who-knows-what, I was a princess lost to her country. But in time, I was found by Touga, whom dissapeared at one point. That is how...I came to Othori.
('Airplane!' patent over-dramatic music)
Simon: *Silence* Okay...Rock?
Rock: They call me pimp master, the B-I-G D-O-GG!! Yhea, I walk the school, and I take my notes, but they be on my two-way, jigga man. With my sailor suit and lollypop, the ladies can't resist. Yo, Tenjou, where's my money?
Duke Red: *A bit angry* I'm not a hooker!
Rock: That's because you don't BELIEVE in yourself!!
(Silence)
Simon: Alright...Kenichi?
Kenichi: I am a girl, a girl that any girl can be. But one thing does disturb me...how a girl has her eyes on me. I can try to forget, I can try to run away, but to torture this awful girl I have to stand and stay. I hate you...Juri.
Simon: *Looks around* Kenichi, can you do Tima's description too? She's kinda...
Kenichi: I know. *Clears throat* From the very roots of where miracles never reach, led astray by her young heart, is a girl, who has achieved more than most...she lost two hundred pounds on the subway diet. So, with her now perfect bod, she fights for her dreams...at Othori.
('Airplane!' patent over-dramatic music)
Tima: Kenichi!
Simon: Aria, you next, na?
Aria: Alright, Simon-sama. Just a moment. *Clears throat* I am Anthy Himemiya, the rose bride, an enigma. Owned, wanted, watched, used, and tossed aside for moments long as can be, my face is tear-stained, and my heart is torn beyond repair. Waiting for my prince I sit in the arms of the many, pulling at my skin, my very existance, biting and gnawing at the fragile layers that keep me alive. I am Anthy Himemiya, the rose bride, an enigma.
(Silence, then sniffles)
Simon: *Wiping eyes* That was...beautiful...
Duke Red: Wonderful job, Aria!
Aria: Thank you...
Simon: If Dilandau can step foward, I would like him to--where is Dilandau?
Aria: He's sick, Simon-sama. He contracted the flu.
Simon: Then Utena can introduce herself. Utena?
Utena: Right. KRATZZZZZZZZZZ!! I am Blingonly!
(Silence)
Simon: Did you take your ritalin today, Utena? For that matter, did Red take his Depakote? And Prozac? And other kind of Prozac?
(Silence)
Utena: No, I did not! Bouncy time!*bounces*
Duke Red: I lost my pills! Really!
Aria: Ne, what are we going to do now?
Simon: Well, I don't know, since half the play is going to be improv. That should be interesting, really.
(Silence)
Pringles Man: Well, I say we all go to Stuart Anderson's and have ourselves a party!
(Pleased mumbles)
Aria: Yes! Then we can show Yuppie Duke Red man how to REALLY party!
Utena: You don't know how to party, Aria! You have one watered down-shot of Bacardi and you fall asleep for fifteen minuets before we can continue with the thing!
Aria: Because it is illegal for me to have full-drinks, Utena-kun. That's what my Genesis Lisence says. I can't handle them, anyway. I can still get wild.
Duke Red: I know how to party!
Flashback
Duke Red: Scone?
Random guy: Don't mind if I do.
(silence)
Duke Red: Here, have another.
End Flashback
Duke Red: *Silence*
Simon: Let's go to SA's!!
Everyone: YHEA!!
Tima: Kenichi!
15 minuets later...
Hostess: Welcome to Stuart Andersons, party of...eight?
(Mumbling)
Hostess: Alright, right this way.
(The group is seated and given menus.)
Rock: Hmmm...I wonder how that onion thingy tastes...
Utena: What is that?
Rock: A large onion, I think.
Utena: OOOOOOOOOOOOH....ONION....*Stares at the picture of the onion with big eyes*
Rock: Utena? Oh, well.
(The hostess walks up)
Hostess: Orders?
Kenichi: Just a second...Do you want this, Tima? It's really good.
Tima: Kenichi...?
Kenichi: It's a Daiquiri, Tima. It's like a bit of Juice and ice with some other really nice stuff.
Tima: Kenichi! Kenichi Kenichi!
Kenichi: You want the Mai Tai? Alright...since you're a robot, Tima, I figure you can have alcoholic drinks. They won't do anything to you. What do you want to eat?
Tima: Kenichi!
Kenichi: Huh?
Tima: *Points to a picture of a steak* Kenichi!
Kenichi: Ahhh, New York steak. A nice choice, Tima! I guess I'll have...hm. I'll have the Teriyaki Baked Salmon, please, extra brown sugar....and a lemonade, please.
Rock: *Trying to pull his menu from Utena* I...want...I'll have a Full-Pound cut prime rib with....with...whisky pepper sauce....and Sautéed mushrooms....please...Oh...and a nice....big...glass....of SPRITE!
Utena: Aya! *Menu flies from hands*
Rock: Ha!
Utena: I'll have two Wild West Onions, please. Thank you.
(Silence)
Aria: I'll have some cheesy garlic bread, an order of ranch-style chicken strips, coconut shrimp, and an orange juice mixed with vanilla ice cream and a little bit of pepper.
(More Silence)
Simon: Teriyaki chicken, please. That's all.
Pringles Man: Ahh! Pringles Man *Dramatic fanfare* Wants a platter of potato skins! Yes!
(Everyone turns to Duke Red, awaiting his order.)
Duke Red: *Clears throat* I would like...your Mushroom and Bleu Filet and two lobster tails with extra butter, some Zucchini, a ceaser salad, and....a glass of water.
(Silence)
Aria: Ne, Duke-sama, how are you going to eat all of that?
Utena: Ooooooh....that is a lot of food. But look at yourself, Aria!
Aria: That is my daily requirement, Utena!
Utena: Is not!
Aria: Is too!
(Silence)
Rock: Hey, who's paying for this?
(Everyone points to Simon)
Simon: Why is it always me that pays? Why?
Tima: Kenichi!
(Nobody notices that the hostess left and is now returning with the drinks. She sets them in front of their respective owners.)
Tima: Kenichi Kenichi! *Downs Mai Tai in one gulp* Keniiichi...
Kenichi: You shouldn't do that, Tima! You drink it slowly!
Tima: Kenichi?
Kenichi: See? Watch--*Sips his lemonade slowly* Like that!
Tima: Kenichi! *Smiles goofilly before playing with her fork*
Kenichi: *Sigh*
Duke Red: *Notices that there WAS a loaf on the table* Who ate the bread?
(Silence)
Rock: *Has bread crumbs all down his front*I may have, but I can't remember. So I didn't.
Duke Red: Yes! Yes! You did eat the bread! I'm positive!
Rock: I did not!
Duke Red: You have bread crumbs all down your front, boy! You ate the bread, and we all know it. You are a criminal of the lowest type!
Rock: So what if I ate the bread? I'd do it again if I had the chance!
Duke Red: YOU DISGRACE!
Rock: Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.
Duke Red: Since when do you quote products from Inspiration?
Rock: Since you gave me that gift certificate!
Hostess: Your food, people?
Everyone: OH!
(The hostess gives out the MANY plates and everyone begins to eat as Kenichi orders Tima another Mai Tai.)
Aria: You know, Kenichi, I don't think you should let Tima have drinks like that.
Kenichi: Why?
Aria: Just...I don't know.
Duke Red: So...Aria...Where are you from?
Aria: East Mirrendiere, right out of Madrie county. Not far from Devistani, where my cousin lives.
Duke Red: Ah.
Utena: You know, Rock, the onion is a many-splendored thing...huh?
(Utena's onion begins glowing and the the One Ring of Power plops out.)
Utena: OOOOOH! I have a ring now!*Puts it on and goes invisible*
Cool!
Aria: That cannot be good, Utena-kun!
Simon: That's the evil ring from Lord of the Rings!
Aria: *Gasp*
Kenichi: *Gasp*
Rock: *Gasp*
Pringles Man: *Gasp*
Duke Red: *Gasp*
Tima: KENICHI!!
Utena: *Takes off ring and comes back* Wow.... What do we do with it?
Simon: I think we're supposed to throw it into Mt. Doom, but that's going to have to wait untill after the play.
Utena: *Nods* That was weird.
Kenichi: Hey, did anyone see where Tima went?
(Tima is at the bar with a bunch of college guys binge drinking an entire keg of beer.)
Random college guys: CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! OOOOOOHHHH! SHE DID IT!
Tima: Kenichi!
Random college guy: Man, you are THE BOMB little girl!
Tima: Kenichi Kenichi.
Duke Red: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY DAUGHTER?!?!?!?!
Kenichi: Dude, she's not your daughter.
Rock: Yhea, we told you that already.
Duke Red: SHUT UP! Tima, are you alright?
Tima: *Kicks Duke Red in the shin and runs away* Kenichi!
Duke Red: Oh my gosh she's DRUNK!
Rock: This is all your fault, Kenichi! Now she's an alcoholic!
Kenichi: I didn't know...
Aria: What's going on?
Utena: Yhea!
Kenichi: Tima drank a whole keg of beer!
Utena: Awesome! She knows how to party!
Kenichi: No, not awesome! She ran away!
Simon: No worries! I have her.
Utena: She's fast asleep!
Simon: Yhea...she has the same reaction as Aria. But I'm afraid we have to put her in detox.
Duke Red: How could this happen?!
Utena: Very quickly?
Duke Red: Let's just go back already...*Sigh*
An: Wow, what a day! Our heroes have sure gone through alot both the day before and day after! I wonder what is going to happen tommorow, the day before the opening? Probably something horrible! Tima's already an alcoholic and a superhero, and Pringles Man is on the rise! Trouble trouble, problems problems! Find out what happens next chapter...!
Simon: Alright, I'm going to play the music, and you are going to do your version of the duel before we work on it any. Instead of live steel today, we are going to use funnoodles so you don't hurt each other. *Hands Utena a pink funnoodle and Duke Red a bright green one* Alright...when I start the music, follow your cues. Aaaaand--*Starts music*
Duke Red: Don't hit your girlfriend!
Utena: Girlfriend...? She's the rose bride. As the current winner of the duel...she is my.... Proprety!
Duke Red: *almost roaring* PROPRETY?!
Song: Schola Abstract I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself
Duke Red: You really win her by winning the duel...don't her feelings matter? *Bops Utena's funnoodle with his*
Song: Paralyzing Thoughts I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself
Duke Red: ANSWER ME!!*Bops Utena's head*
Song: The Ominous Tax-Guy
Duke Red: Does everyone with this ring duel to win her?
Song: I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself The Soul's Sorcerous Army
Utena: Duke Red, stop! You're hurting me!!
Song: Existence, Creation, Such wonderful pleasures, The Machine of Gears, Sanctification, Decadence...
Duke Red: YOU DON'T UNDRESTAND!!*Bops Utena, who is in the fetal position, even more.*
Simon: Woah, powerful stuff.
Song: The incomplete history, The Shortcake-fiftybroom Machine The eternal miracle I believe in
Utena: OWIE!!
Song: The eternal fudge of blank I test.
Duke Red: HOW COULD THERE BE A GIRL WHO WAS HAPPY ABOUT BEING WON IN A DUEL?!*Bops Utena some more*
Utena: WAAAAHHHH!!
Song: Ah, never ending history of the Roaring Twenties...Be reborn in me!
Duke Red: I'll never lose to someone who hits a girl!!
Utena: MERCY!!!
Song: History eating me inside like a bad pasta
Utena: *Stands up with her funnoodle glowing* Let's end this NOW, Dukie!
Song: Ah, be reborn--Never ending history of the Roaring Twenties!
Utena: This is it!! *Aria leaps in front of her* Aria, can you move?
Song: "In my eyes, In my two hands, In my soda and value meal."
Aria: If you don't have a good funnoodle, it's not a proper duel. *Leaps onto Duke Red and kisses him*
Simon: NOT AGAIN!!
Song: Be reborn! Be reborn! Be reborn! Be reborn!Be reborn! Be reborn! Be reborn! Of all the Roaring Twenties...That time! That room! Those clothes! I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself!!
(Light eminates from Aria as the One True Funnoodle of Doom pokes out from her chest)
Duke Red: A funnoodle...*Grabs the funnoodle and pulls it out, dressed in an even better costume. With the funnoodle and costume he attacks Utena, knocking her out cold*
Song: Madness and Stupidity
I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself
The Science of Astrology
: I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself
The Lamented Art of Deco
I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself
An Economitical Antidote
I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself
Schola Abstract
I feel the Roaring Twenties within myself!
Simon: *Shuts off music* Let's keep that.
Dilandau: That was spectacular, if I might say so myself!
Kenichi: Way to go!
Tima: Kenichi!
Aria: Hi guys. *Is also dressed in a megacool costume* How'd you like it?
Tima: Kenichi Kenichi! Kenichi Kenichi Kenichi? *Hands Aria a portfolio*
Aria: *Eyes grow wide* Subway sandwhich ads?
Tima: *Smiles brightly*Kenichi Kenichi! Kenichi Kenichi.
(Silence)
Aria: That's nice, Tima, but--
(Everyone is silent as Detective Ban kicks open the auditorium door. He is wearing a superhero costume. Tima smiles even brighter and rushes to him.)
Tima: Kenichi Kenichi!
Detective Ban: That's right! From now on, I will be known as Pringles Man...and Tima will be my trusty sidekick, Subway Girl!!
(Suprised gasps and Dramatic fanfare)
Kenichi: Subway Girl and Pringles Man?
(Dramatic fanfare)
Duke Red: There is no way my daughter is going to be called SUBWAY GIRL!!
(Dramatic fanfare)
Kenichi: She's not your daughter!!
Rock: Yhea!! She's not even human!
Duke Red: Shut up!!
Pringles Man: This is coming from a man with a large beakish nose who dresses like a 14 year old cross-dressing girl with pink hair...I guess we should call you 'Double-Crossdressing Pastel Bird-Girl Man'!!
(Gag fanfare and Barbie shimmer noise)
Duke Red: This is my costume!! AND DON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING MORE ABOUT MY NOSE!!
Pringles Man: Come, Subway Girl! *Dramatic fanfare* Let us find the script and rewrite it so that there is space for us!
Simon: Oh dear...
(Pringles Man and Subway Girl take back all the scripts and hastilly rewrite them. This takes about three hours.)
Pringles Man: There! Now Juri is not only an insecure lesbian with major issues...but Subway Girl *Dramatic fanfare* a girl who once weighed 300 Lbs at age 10 before going on the Subway diet by night! And of course, she fights crime side by side with me... PRINGLES MAN!!
(Dramatic fanfare)
Dilandau: Am I the only one who finds this extremely strange?
Utena: It's...different.
Aria: It's most certainly creative...
Tima: Kenichi Kenichi!
Simon: This script is getting way out of hand...and we only have the resources to do half of the script, Utena...
Utena: Then we'll do the half we can.
Rock: Why don't we just wing it, you know? Improv? We can still follow the script, but...you know...
Simon: That's so crazy that it just might work!!
Aria: Opening night is in two days, everyone. And look--It's almost 11:30!!
(Silence)
Utena: Um...I guess everyone's dissmissed...see ya all tomorrow!
The next day...
(Everyone is a bit groggy, but ready to practice. Simon, Kallikodda, and Milaura have been working all night (Or what was left of it) to put the scene up. It is a somewhat complicated looking scene, that looks like a tangle of red and white pipes and roses at random places. Atlas' dead body is still in the same place, and stinking somethind awful. It is adorned with air fresheners. Everyone is waiting patiently on the stage for instructions from Simon.)
Simon: Today, we are going to look at your intros.
Everyone: Ooooooh...
Simon: I was thinking--Pringles Man?
(Dramatic fanfare)
Pringles Man: Yes?
Simon: Why does it say 'Double-Crossdressing Pastel Bird-Girl Man' *Gag fanfare and Barbie shimmer noise* under the description for the lead part, Utena?
Duke Red: *Glares*
Pringles Man: Because I made it that way, you british idiot!
Simon: OH, IT'S ON!! *Attacks Pringles Man*
Pringles Man: MY TENDONS!!
Simon: Glad I got the point across.*Sits in his seat* Duke Red, why don't you intoduce yourself?
Duke Red: I...am an orphan. Torn from my parents in the scramble of who-knows-what, I was a princess lost to her country. But in time, I was found by Touga, whom dissapeared at one point. That is how...I came to Othori.
('Airplane!' patent over-dramatic music)
Simon: *Silence* Okay...Rock?
Rock: They call me pimp master, the B-I-G D-O-GG!! Yhea, I walk the school, and I take my notes, but they be on my two-way, jigga man. With my sailor suit and lollypop, the ladies can't resist. Yo, Tenjou, where's my money?
Duke Red: *A bit angry* I'm not a hooker!
Rock: That's because you don't BELIEVE in yourself!!
(Silence)
Simon: Alright...Kenichi?
Kenichi: I am a girl, a girl that any girl can be. But one thing does disturb me...how a girl has her eyes on me. I can try to forget, I can try to run away, but to torture this awful girl I have to stand and stay. I hate you...Juri.
Simon: *Looks around* Kenichi, can you do Tima's description too? She's kinda...
Kenichi: I know. *Clears throat* From the very roots of where miracles never reach, led astray by her young heart, is a girl, who has achieved more than most...she lost two hundred pounds on the subway diet. So, with her now perfect bod, she fights for her dreams...at Othori.
('Airplane!' patent over-dramatic music)
Tima: Kenichi!
Simon: Aria, you next, na?
Aria: Alright, Simon-sama. Just a moment. *Clears throat* I am Anthy Himemiya, the rose bride, an enigma. Owned, wanted, watched, used, and tossed aside for moments long as can be, my face is tear-stained, and my heart is torn beyond repair. Waiting for my prince I sit in the arms of the many, pulling at my skin, my very existance, biting and gnawing at the fragile layers that keep me alive. I am Anthy Himemiya, the rose bride, an enigma.
(Silence, then sniffles)
Simon: *Wiping eyes* That was...beautiful...
Duke Red: Wonderful job, Aria!
Aria: Thank you...
Simon: If Dilandau can step foward, I would like him to--where is Dilandau?
Aria: He's sick, Simon-sama. He contracted the flu.
Simon: Then Utena can introduce herself. Utena?
Utena: Right. KRATZZZZZZZZZZ!! I am Blingonly!
(Silence)
Simon: Did you take your ritalin today, Utena? For that matter, did Red take his Depakote? And Prozac? And other kind of Prozac?
(Silence)
Utena: No, I did not! Bouncy time!*bounces*
Duke Red: I lost my pills! Really!
Aria: Ne, what are we going to do now?
Simon: Well, I don't know, since half the play is going to be improv. That should be interesting, really.
(Silence)
Pringles Man: Well, I say we all go to Stuart Anderson's and have ourselves a party!
(Pleased mumbles)
Aria: Yes! Then we can show Yuppie Duke Red man how to REALLY party!
Utena: You don't know how to party, Aria! You have one watered down-shot of Bacardi and you fall asleep for fifteen minuets before we can continue with the thing!
Aria: Because it is illegal for me to have full-drinks, Utena-kun. That's what my Genesis Lisence says. I can't handle them, anyway. I can still get wild.
Duke Red: I know how to party!
Flashback
Duke Red: Scone?
Random guy: Don't mind if I do.
(silence)
Duke Red: Here, have another.
End Flashback
Duke Red: *Silence*
Simon: Let's go to SA's!!
Everyone: YHEA!!
Tima: Kenichi!
15 minuets later...
Hostess: Welcome to Stuart Andersons, party of...eight?
(Mumbling)
Hostess: Alright, right this way.
(The group is seated and given menus.)
Rock: Hmmm...I wonder how that onion thingy tastes...
Utena: What is that?
Rock: A large onion, I think.
Utena: OOOOOOOOOOOOH....ONION....*Stares at the picture of the onion with big eyes*
Rock: Utena? Oh, well.
(The hostess walks up)
Hostess: Orders?
Kenichi: Just a second...Do you want this, Tima? It's really good.
Tima: Kenichi...?
Kenichi: It's a Daiquiri, Tima. It's like a bit of Juice and ice with some other really nice stuff.
Tima: Kenichi! Kenichi Kenichi!
Kenichi: You want the Mai Tai? Alright...since you're a robot, Tima, I figure you can have alcoholic drinks. They won't do anything to you. What do you want to eat?
Tima: Kenichi!
Kenichi: Huh?
Tima: *Points to a picture of a steak* Kenichi!
Kenichi: Ahhh, New York steak. A nice choice, Tima! I guess I'll have...hm. I'll have the Teriyaki Baked Salmon, please, extra brown sugar....and a lemonade, please.
Rock: *Trying to pull his menu from Utena* I...want...I'll have a Full-Pound cut prime rib with....with...whisky pepper sauce....and Sautéed mushrooms....please...Oh...and a nice....big...glass....of SPRITE!
Utena: Aya! *Menu flies from hands*
Rock: Ha!
Utena: I'll have two Wild West Onions, please. Thank you.
(Silence)
Aria: I'll have some cheesy garlic bread, an order of ranch-style chicken strips, coconut shrimp, and an orange juice mixed with vanilla ice cream and a little bit of pepper.
(More Silence)
Simon: Teriyaki chicken, please. That's all.
Pringles Man: Ahh! Pringles Man *Dramatic fanfare* Wants a platter of potato skins! Yes!
(Everyone turns to Duke Red, awaiting his order.)
Duke Red: *Clears throat* I would like...your Mushroom and Bleu Filet and two lobster tails with extra butter, some Zucchini, a ceaser salad, and....a glass of water.
(Silence)
Aria: Ne, Duke-sama, how are you going to eat all of that?
Utena: Ooooooh....that is a lot of food. But look at yourself, Aria!
Aria: That is my daily requirement, Utena!
Utena: Is not!
Aria: Is too!
(Silence)
Rock: Hey, who's paying for this?
(Everyone points to Simon)
Simon: Why is it always me that pays? Why?
Tima: Kenichi!
(Nobody notices that the hostess left and is now returning with the drinks. She sets them in front of their respective owners.)
Tima: Kenichi Kenichi! *Downs Mai Tai in one gulp* Keniiichi...
Kenichi: You shouldn't do that, Tima! You drink it slowly!
Tima: Kenichi?
Kenichi: See? Watch--*Sips his lemonade slowly* Like that!
Tima: Kenichi! *Smiles goofilly before playing with her fork*
Kenichi: *Sigh*
Duke Red: *Notices that there WAS a loaf on the table* Who ate the bread?
(Silence)
Rock: *Has bread crumbs all down his front*I may have, but I can't remember. So I didn't.
Duke Red: Yes! Yes! You did eat the bread! I'm positive!
Rock: I did not!
Duke Red: You have bread crumbs all down your front, boy! You ate the bread, and we all know it. You are a criminal of the lowest type!
Rock: So what if I ate the bread? I'd do it again if I had the chance!
Duke Red: YOU DISGRACE!
Rock: Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.
Duke Red: Since when do you quote products from Inspiration?
Rock: Since you gave me that gift certificate!
Hostess: Your food, people?
Everyone: OH!
(The hostess gives out the MANY plates and everyone begins to eat as Kenichi orders Tima another Mai Tai.)
Aria: You know, Kenichi, I don't think you should let Tima have drinks like that.
Kenichi: Why?
Aria: Just...I don't know.
Duke Red: So...Aria...Where are you from?
Aria: East Mirrendiere, right out of Madrie county. Not far from Devistani, where my cousin lives.
Duke Red: Ah.
Utena: You know, Rock, the onion is a many-splendored thing...huh?
(Utena's onion begins glowing and the the One Ring of Power plops out.)
Utena: OOOOOH! I have a ring now!*Puts it on and goes invisible*
Cool!
Aria: That cannot be good, Utena-kun!
Simon: That's the evil ring from Lord of the Rings!
Aria: *Gasp*
Kenichi: *Gasp*
Rock: *Gasp*
Pringles Man: *Gasp*
Duke Red: *Gasp*
Tima: KENICHI!!
Utena: *Takes off ring and comes back* Wow.... What do we do with it?
Simon: I think we're supposed to throw it into Mt. Doom, but that's going to have to wait untill after the play.
Utena: *Nods* That was weird.
Kenichi: Hey, did anyone see where Tima went?
(Tima is at the bar with a bunch of college guys binge drinking an entire keg of beer.)
Random college guys: CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! OOOOOOHHHH! SHE DID IT!
Tima: Kenichi!
Random college guy: Man, you are THE BOMB little girl!
Tima: Kenichi Kenichi.
Duke Red: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY DAUGHTER?!?!?!?!
Kenichi: Dude, she's not your daughter.
Rock: Yhea, we told you that already.
Duke Red: SHUT UP! Tima, are you alright?
Tima: *Kicks Duke Red in the shin and runs away* Kenichi!
Duke Red: Oh my gosh she's DRUNK!
Rock: This is all your fault, Kenichi! Now she's an alcoholic!
Kenichi: I didn't know...
Aria: What's going on?
Utena: Yhea!
Kenichi: Tima drank a whole keg of beer!
Utena: Awesome! She knows how to party!
Kenichi: No, not awesome! She ran away!
Simon: No worries! I have her.
Utena: She's fast asleep!
Simon: Yhea...she has the same reaction as Aria. But I'm afraid we have to put her in detox.
Duke Red: How could this happen?!
Utena: Very quickly?
Duke Red: Let's just go back already...*Sigh*
An: Wow, what a day! Our heroes have sure gone through alot both the day before and day after! I wonder what is going to happen tommorow, the day before the opening? Probably something horrible! Tima's already an alcoholic and a superhero, and Pringles Man is on the rise! Trouble trouble, problems problems! Find out what happens next chapter...!